The Star Mother

by J D Huffman

  “I should have known I could not keep all my secrets from you,” he grinned.

  “I’ve just been thinking about how much you know. You know so much about so many things. You know about the Totality. You know about the Order. You probably know about things I couldn’t even imagine. How else is that possible unless you’re extremely long-lived? Or immortal.”

  “Well, I suppose it is possible I am simply very well-traveled.”

  “Yet you’ve spent the last how many years a Totality slave?” She cocked an eyebrow at the end of her question, daring him to deny it.

  He bowed. “You are correct, of course. I hope my longevity does not present any threat to our friendship.”

  “Only that you’ll outlive it, I guess.”

  “That is the sad fact of my existence,” he agreed.

  “I appreciate the book, though. I appreciate what you’re trying to do with it. I will try to keep it up and write about what we’ve done, and what we have yet to do. You’ll pardon me if I don’t do that tonight?”

  “Of course. Shall I leave you alone for the night?”

  She shook her head. “No. I have a lot on my mind and I think we need to talk about it.”

  He sat down in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the commander’s desk. But it’s my desk now, Sasha reminded herself. My office. My room. This is my home, at least for now, as much as I can have a home at all anymore.

  “I need honesty, Fred. I’m sure you have knowledge you haven’t shared with me.”

  “That much is true,” he admitted.

  “So, tell me. I want to know what you know.”

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Sasha, that would take ages, even with only what I am able to remember. I do not recall everything that has ever happened to me, of course. Specific questions would be more fruitful.”

  “Then tell me about the Totality. How do I beat them? What motivates them? Who are they? What are they?”

  “When you were a child on your world, did your people have legends of demons? Supernatural beings that could take possession of a human body and use it for evil ends?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. They were old myths. I don’t think anyone actually believed in anything like that.”

  “They used to be myths, but the Totality made them a reality. It is what they do: they seize human bodies and use them.”

  “Use them for what? That’s what I don’t understand.”

  “For the Totality, mere existence is enough. Imagine you had a mind, a consciousness, but no vessel in which to experience reality. A disembodied soul with no potential, no form. And then, in a moment of fortune, you find yourself within a living, breathing body. You have power now. You can influence a universe around you. It becomes a desperate thing, and you would do anything to keep it.”

  “And that’s what the Totality do? They fight and kill and enslave just so they can keep their bodies?”

  “Indeed. You can imagine that, when this began, all other humans saw was that their friends and loved ones took on completely different personalities. And some of them began to exhibit impossible abilities.”

  “You mean Totality ‘magic,’” she said derisively.

  “I would not sound so skeptical. It is magic as much as anything can be. It is part of who they are. Not all Totality have significant magical abilities, but many do. I think people are often put off by the term, as if it implies virtually any ‘impossible’ action. It is a more limited and precise thing than that. Some can summon fire. Some can shake the ground. Some can penetrate your thoughts. An individual Totality’s magic is usually narrowly defined. A dedicated fellow can achieve profound mastery of his magical gifts. Those who care little for such abilities may never progress beyond parlor tricks. There is only one Totality known to have full control over all magical domains.”

  “Cylence,” Sasha guessed.

  Fred nodded in deference. “He was the first Totality, or so he says.”

  That provoked a question Sasha couldn’t ignore. “Have you met him? Seen him in person?”

  “We have had dealings,” Fred said cryptically. “They were not pleasant. He is the living incarnation of all the cruelty and indifference the Totality exhibit. There are none more suited to lead them. I am certain of that.”

  “But what is he leading? What do they do? Is forcing people to do their manual labor all they care about?”

  Fred sighed and thought for a moment. “You are likely comparing the Totality to the culture of your world, yes?”

  “Right. I was just a child when the Totality came, but I remember enough. We had art. We had entertainment. People took pleasure in things. I can remember my father being happy, and also when he was sad. My father would tell me about the city and all the wonders there. I never got to see them myself but I believed him. I don’t see anything like that from the Totality. All I see is cruelty and malice.”

  “I cannot argue with that assessment,” he agreed. “The Totality represent less a culture and more… a collective parasite upon the living beings of the universe. They cannot exist without us, and so to ensure themselves they must control us. They have fought long and hard for what they have and they will not easily give it up.”

  “Where does the Order fit into this? They’re enemies of the Totality, right? I’ve gathered that much.”

  “The less you think about the Order, the better,” he urged. “They are enemies of the Totality, but they are not our friends. I’ve not dealt with the Order in a very long time. That said, I have seen no indications that they are any more favorable now than they were when I interacted with them face-to-face.”

  “You’re being evasive again,” she warned him. “I want the truth, Fred.”

  She looked into his eyes and saw that it pained him to dig into those memories, and perhaps to shatter whatever illusions she might have had of these potential allies. But I need to know, she told herself. If they can’t be trusted, I have to know that, and why. “The truth is, while the Order are fully human, they are almost the mirror image of the Totality. In spending ages fighting the demons, the Order became demonic in their own way. They are obsessed with security. The measures they employ to ensure no Totality infiltration are, in a word, draconian. As their name implies, order is their highest calling—at any cost.”

  Sasha found the prospect disturbing. Would we be trading one form of slavery for another? “And you didn’t want to tell me this because of William’s uniform, and where he said he came from?”

  “That, and after what you said about Demeter, I feared you might not trust any of us. I can assure you, though, that William has no fealty to the Order, nor any association with them.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Her voice rose in anger for the next question. “And how could you let Demeter run free if you knew he was part of the Order??”

  “I did not know that,” he promised, leaning back in his chair almost defensively. “I took him at his word, just as you did. As far as William goes, that is a very long story, and one I am not able to share at this point.”

  She scowled. “Didn’t we just talk about you not keeping secrets from me, and telling me what you know? I’m asking you a direct question. How do you know William can be trusted?”

  He put his hands on the desk, bending forward, not breaking his eyes away from hers. “Sasha, there are things that I cannot tell you, and I promise it is with good reason. I am not saying I will never tell you, only that I cannot tell you now. The moment I am able to disclose what I know, I will share with you immediately.”

  She hated fighting with Fred about anything, but especially hated when he kept things from her allegedly for her own benefit. She valued his knowledge—needed it, in fact. His mentoring had quite probably saved her life as a child, or at least her sanity. She knew to the core of her being that he was not her enemy, and yet in
this moment she couldn’t be entirely convinced that he was her friend, either, not if he was willing to conceal vital information from her. It was somewhat intriguing when they were slaves on Actis, one of those rare sources of amusement, almost like a game. What secrets can Fred cryptically allude to today? But now, it had become a matter of survival. If he had details about William that were relevant to their present and future, how could Fred keep them to himself? How can I trust him if he won’t tell me the truth?

  And so, she said the only thing she thought was left to say. “I think you should go.”

  The old troll did so, without a word of protest.

  She stared down at the heavy, thickly-bound book Fred had given her just minutes before. She briefly considered tearing it apart, but that was the anger talking. This is no time for self-pity or undirected anger, she reminded herself, reaching for the new chronicle. Fred had set the tone with the opening entries, but she by no means had to follow it. She opened to a new page, picked up a pen from the desk, and began to write.

  His name was Ian. He saved my life. Others gave their lives to save us all, and to help us fight. They shall not be forgotten.

  She decided she would have to obtain all of their names from anyone who knew them. Meren probably knows. William might, too. She then realized another name she could enter, and felt a momentary pang of hesitation. Does he really belong here, given how I felt about him? Is that even a valid question to ask? He died down there, didn’t he? This is the least he deserves.

  She spelled out Demeter’s name on the page.

  Chapter 24

  Lightning in a Bottle

  Sasha called a meeting. She waited in her office/bedroom at the end of the electronic table facing her desk, arms folded and waiting for everyone else to arrive. Janus came first, offering what she considered a fake smile. “What have you been keeping yourself busy with?” she wondered.

  He shuffled over to one of the corners of the table opposite her and shrugged. “Whatever needs doing. I’ve prepared meals off and on. Washed clothes. This ship’s laundry system is unpleasant to work with. Perhaps we can acquire an upgrade somewhere.”

  “We have other priorities besides better laundry facilities,” she chided. “Do you have anything useful to report?”

  “I… not at this time, my lady.”

  “Don’t call me that,” she snapped. “Just use my name.”

  He bobbed his head deferentially.

  I shouldn’t be so short with him, she thought. He was only answering my question. “I’m sorry,” she breathed. “Bad mood.”

  “I can tell,” he responded matter-of-factly.

  Sasha sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong just now. So, I apologize.”

  “Apology accepted,” he agreed. “Do you have any orders for me?”

  “Not until everyone else gets here.”

  Meren filed in next, followed by a woman who seemed to be accompanying him. Her golden hair could pass for white in the right light, a color Sasha had scarcely seen in her life. Even in the relatively dim light of the office, it seemed impossibly brilliant. Sasha hadn’t familiarized herself with everyone on the ship yet, an oversight she knew she needed to rectify. I’ve just been so busy with other things. And after the operation on that moon, I haven’t been eager to spend time with other people. But I do need to get to know everyone, don’t I? I can’t hide in here all the time.

  Sasha looked at the woman who’d come in with Meren. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” Sasha said. “I’m Sasha, as you probably know.”

  The woman smiled. “My name is Duna. Meren invited me. We were unit-mates on Actis.”

  “These are open meetings, so anyone who wants to attend is invited,” Sasha said in as warm a tone as she could manage.

  William showed up moments later with two other men Sasha remembered from the raid on the Totality depot. “Sasha, I believe you’ve met Roth and Markos.”

  She tilted her head toward them in greeting, not letting on that she hadn’t retained their names. “Of course. It was an honor having both of you by my side on that moon.”

  “The honor was ours,” Roth replied with a shiny grin.

  Sasha looked up at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was several minutes past the time she’d designated for the meeting. “Has anyone seen Serim or Angel? I’d normally expect them to attend a meeting like this.”

  “I passed Serim. He was on his way to see her,” William said. “That was a little while ago. Maybe they got involved in something else.”

  She groaned internally. “If they have better things to do than come to a strategy meeting, that’s their concern,” she sighed. “Now, I know some of you rather well but certainly not all of you, so you may not be familiar with how I like to run these gatherings. Don’t be shy. All ideas are welcome, even if we don’t ultimately use them. This uprising only works if we cooperate. I don’t know everything. I don’t know how to do everything. You all bring your own skills and experience. That’s what I need. So, does anyone have anything to ask or comment on before I proceed?”

  William lifted his hand. “Where’s Fred? Shouldn’t he be here?”

  “He’s not needed for this meeting,” Sasha said, trying not to frown visibly. She hardly wanted word to get around that she wasn’t keen to trust Fred at the moment. It would only undermine their faith in me, and I know enough to see how important that is. “Does anyone else have anything to say?”

  Silence.

  She proceeded, tapping the small panel of buttons on the edge of the table and bringing up a map of the local region. “So far, we’ve managed to evade the Totality since our raid on the weapons depot. As you all know, that raid was very costly. The ship took damage, much of which has been repaired, but we suffered serious human losses that, to be honest, will be much harder to replace. I’ve also been told that some of our food rations have spoiled due to a failed heat dispersal unit, so we need to find a new food source soon. The situation is not critical yet, but it soon will be if we don’t take action. The good news is that we are well-armed and our water supplies are abundant. We also have plenty of fuel, enough that we shouldn’t have to raid a ship or fueling station for months. But we need food and we need personnel. I am open to suggestions on either issue.”

  “Could we go back to Actis?” Duna offered. “We know for certain that they have slaves at the other mining outposts.”

  “I wouldn’t recommend that,” William countered. “It’s almost a guarantee that the Totality have figured out what happened. They’ll have strengthened security all over Actis by now. If we go back, we’ll be an easy target.”

  “Do you have a better idea?” Sasha asked.

  “Based on how things went down with the depot raid, I think it’s obvious that frontal assaults are doomed. Let’s be honest, here. Few among us are trained in combat or proficient with weapons. Having a glut of Totality weaponry only gives us an edge in firepower, not tactics or battlefield readiness.” He looked around the table. “That’s not to offend any of you, I’m just stating the truth. Almost everyone on this ship spent most or all of their lives under Totality slavery, right? You weren’t trained to hold or fire weapons, conditioned to function well in combat, or think tactically in a high-pressure situation.” He put his eyes on Meren. “You did a great job down there. Your friend Ian did, too, even if he didn’t make it back. He made sure the mission succeeded. The same goes for Demeter, if I understand the situation correctly. But we lost most of our fighting force down there and there’s no way we should waste what little we have left on more futile raids.”

  Sasha stared at him impatiently. “I hope you’re coming to a point, William.”

  “I’m getting there. I think what we need is not another tactical victory, but a strategic one. We don’t have enough people to hurt the Totality in a war of attrition. That’s a fact. But we’re smart.
We’re agile. We’re resourceful. We have one ship, and the Totality don’t know where we are. They don’t know how many of us there are, whether we have one ship or three, or where to find us. Those are advantages. Now, as I said, we’re never going to win this in a stand-up fight. So…”

  He drew his finger along the table, plotting a route from their current location to the circle in the center. “…we should hit the heart of the Totality.”

  “The Dominix?” Sasha balked. “Have you lost your mind??”

  William shrugged. “It’s the last thing they’d expect. We all know that the Totality have fortified every outpost they can, thanks to their ongoing conflict with the Order. That’s part of what burned us on the depot raid. They had much stronger forces than we’d anticipated.”

  “So? Doesn’t that mean we’re just going to get crushed?” Sasha countered.

  “No. This is a guess, mind you, but I think it’s a reasonable one. In order to defend the rest of the Fortress, the Totality have made the Dominix vulnerable. Maybe ‘vulnerable’ is too strong a word, but I’m saying they’ve probably pulled troops from there to build up their defenses elsewhere. That means it’s going to be an easier target now than it ever was before.”

  “But still impenetrable,” Janus said skeptically. “From what I’ve seen of it in the ship’s database, the Dominix Totality Centrality is a massive complex. A space station nearly the size of a planet.”

  William grinned. “Do you think the Totality can defend something the size of a planet? Be realistic.”

  “He has a point,” Meren concurred.

  “There have to be patrols, blind spots, weaknesses we can exploit,” William speculated. “They can’t cover the entire thing at all times. And once we’re inside, we’re a real threat.”

  “Wouldn’t they have monitoring equipment like they used on Actis?” Duna wondered.

  “Probably much better equipment,” Roth surmised, squinting at the screen. “They’ll know where we are in an instant.”