“It’s all over the news.” Mom was anxious and that was not good. Her voice, usually wound up, had a shrill quality to it through the phone.
“Yes, I know,” I replied, pacing the space as I let her talk. I’d called to let her know I was fine, that she shouldn’t worry. Oh, she worried, but not about me.
“You don’t think they’ll come here, do you?”
I frowned. “Who? The murderer?”
She gasped. Shit, wrong thing to say. “I hadn’t thought of that. I am alone.”
I rolled my eyes. She was intentionally alone. Her mental illness didn’t allow for anything else. Her meds were balanced, but like a teeter totter, one tip in the wrong direction and she’d be in trouble. Her hoarding had gotten to the extreme where no one would even attempt to harm her since there was barely any way for someone to get to her. I didn’t worry about a crazed lunatic bent to bash her head in. I worried about fire.
“You’re safe. Really. It had to be someone who knew Erin and they had a fight.”
That’s what I was hoping for.
“The police won’t come here, right?”
“They have no reason to.”
“But you were there, you said.”
“Yes, I was.” I dropped onto the couch, tried not to let the image of Erin dead on the floor fill my mind. “Mom, nothing for you has changed, or will change.”
“Did you get my lottery ticket? What about the electricity bill?”
I blew out a breath as silently as possible. “Yes, to both. I’ve got to go. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.” I ended the call, dropped my phone on the cushion beside me. Wondered how I was going to pay mom’s light bill without a job.
Obviously, I couldn’t stay with my mom. It hadn’t been an option since just after high school. Her anxiety was too great to have me in the house, and her hoarding had buried my bedroom in junk. I couldn’t risk setting her off. If a murder didn’t bring out her motherly instincts to have me stay at the house, then nothing would.
Reaching into the desk, I found a hair tie and pulled my hair back into a ponytail, sighed. Hell, would someone even rent to me? I hadn’t been questioned more than the few minutes with Nix at the house, but it was coming. I’d been just down the hall when she’d been killed. Why hadn’t I heard anything?
The ER had taken samples from me for DNA. Photos taken. I’d been looked over to ensure I really hadn’t been hurt beneath all the blood, then a kind nurse had led me to a shower and given me clean clothes. I looked down at the basic white t-shirt, sweats and flip flops. It wasn’t stylish, but it was blood free.
The office phone had been ringing all day. At first, I’d worried one of our events was in trouble, but quickly discovered it was everyone from Erin’s hair stylist to the city paper’s crime desk trying to get the salacious details.
After that, I’d left the phone off the hook and had myself a good cry. I was used to being alone, but this… god, it was a whole new level.
I’d crash here tonight, the leather sofa was comfortable enough—Erin wouldn’t have bought something that wasn’t comfortable—and figure out the rest tomorrow. I’d have to salvage what was left of the events we had on the books. If people still wanted to work with us.
Not us. Me.
Fuck. Erin was dead. It was her company.
I jumped a foot at the knock on the door.
“Kit, it’s Nix.”
My heart skipped a beat and I climbed from the couch, flipped the lock and let him in. He looked the same as this morning, his gaze still shrewd and assessing. Still handsome in that tall, broad and gorgeous sort of way. He had whiskers now on his square jaw and I wondered if they were soft or rough. God, how would they feel brushing against my thighs?
“You doing okay?” he asked, closing the door behind him. He looked me over, probably saw that I looked like total crap, that I’d been crying. At least I wasn’t covered in blood.
I laughed, partially from thinking about him going down on me, and partly because after the day I’d had, I was anything but okay. I sighed. “My friend is dead. I have no place to live. My paycheck is probably tied up in probate, and I’m definitely out of a job. The only way to make it worse is if you’re here to arrest me.”
His dark gaze held mine but he didn’t say anything.
“God, you are here to arrest me.” I licked my lips. Started to panic. While I’d been thinking about him going down on me, he’d been planning to—
“I’m not arresting you. But I’m not going to lie. You’re a suspect right now.”
I wanted to cry again, but I swallowed it down. No. “You’re here to take me in for questioning?” My voice was small, nervous. I didn’t have money for a lawyer.
He shook his head. “Tomorrow.”
“So no leads? No smoking gun?”
“Nope. Here. I brought you some of your clothes.” I recognized my small overnight bag he held out toward me. “I found this on the floor of your closet. I wasn’t sure exactly what you needed. This should hold you until the house is released and you can get everything.”
The thought of him digging around in my closet, god, in my panty drawer, had me blushing. Those big hands pawing through my silk and lace. None of it was fancy, and I always bought from the clearance rack, but I did like cute underthings.
“Thank you.”
“I’m also here to take you home.”
“I can just stay here. I’ve napped on the couch before. It’s comfortable.”
His shrewd gaze took in the space. “It’s not a crime scene, but we’ll be in here tomorrow working the case.”
I glanced around. “Oh.” Right. Of course. They had to investigate all aspects of Erin’s life. Her computer was here. Paperwork. It probably wasn’t good that I stayed here. It could only make things worse for me. Now what was I going to do?
Holding my hands in front of me, I said, “I’m not going to my mother’s. I talked to her, calmed her down. She was worried if I stay with her, people will call or come over. She can’t handle that. You remember what she’s like.” I downplayed it a bit because I didn’t need any more pity where Mom was concerned.
He nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“She’s worse now. Her world’s a house of cards, or a house of old newspapers, online purchases and rooms stuffed to the gills with… stuff. One slight change in her routine and she falls apart. I’ve visited a few times since I’ve been back, but not more than a few minutes because it kicks in her anxiety. Our only interaction now is me paying her bills online and talking by phone.”
I saw understanding more than sympathy in his eyes. School had been rough, kids picking on me because I had a crazy mom, a crazy house. Nix had never poked fun, not once. “Not your mom’s. You’ll come home with me.”
I stared at him, mouth open. I’d have been less surprised if he’d said he was arresting me. “Home… with you?”
He nodded.
I frowned, then turned away, walked over to the window and looked down on Main Street. The world was going by, no problems, enjoying the summer evening, the restaurants and cute shops. The idea of going home with him… god, it had been a fantasy of mine for years. But no. No. I had to stop thinking about silly things like that or him eating me out. He didn’t want to go there not on me or any woman. There had to be a better explanation, one that made sense.
“You’re worried I’m going to flee, is that it?”
I heard him sigh. “The murderer is out there. I don’t want you here all alone.”
I spun so fast, the world tilted for a moment. Met Nix’s dark gaze. “You think… you think the person was after me?” I set a hand on my chest. Holy shit.
He shrugged his broad shoulders. “We have no reason to believe so, but you were there. Hell, maybe he went to the wrong house. Until we know more, I want to keep you safe.”
He stepped close to me, too close, and tucked a stray lock of hair I’d missed capturing in my ponytail back behind my ear. A simple gesture
, but not one a detective does to a suspect.
The idea of Nix keeping me safe was so appealing, I practically ached. I didn’t want to do this all alone. I would, I always had. I’d taken care of my mom instead of the other way around. I still did. But having Nix help me? Hold me? God, keep me safe and take away these troubles?
“Safe,” I repeated woodenly.
No. That wasn’t going to happen. Nix was a fixer. He solved problems. Made things right. That was his job. As detective, I was his job. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want just that. I wanted more from him. So much more. I’d had a crush on him in high school, practically drooled over him whenever he came home from college. We’d gone out a few times to talk about the Policemen’s Ball. Dinner. Coffee. He’d never taken me to his place, never even made out in a car. A kiss on my cheek at my apartment door was as far as we’d ever gotten, but I’d given him my heart—although he’d never known that. Unrequited love, at least on my part.
But I’d learned the truth, learned he’d never wanted me. I wasn’t his type and that had hurt. That had cut to the bone. Had pushed me to leave town.
While I appreciated his concern—I doubted he invited every suspect to stay at his house—I couldn’t accept. My heart couldn’t handle it. A year away should have lessened my feelings for him, but no. Fuck no. I still wanted those big hands on me. I wanted to feel the play of those strong muscles beneath my hands. Wondered what those lips would feel like against mine, other places.
Pure fantasy and I should have been over it by now. He didn’t want me. He didn’t want me—or any other woman—at all. I’d hoped the year away would fix my emotions, but no.
Pulling my mind from the gutter, I said, “I’m fine here.” I held my arm out indicating the couch. Erin’s wealth showed in how she’d decorated the office. Shabby chic all in creams and soft pink. Modern glass mixed with the old brick walls and exposed wood beams. She even had a drink cart in the corner. High end, just like Erin.
“Kit,” he said on a sigh, trying to reach for me again, but he must have seen something on my face because he let it drop. “That’s not the only reason I want you in my house. I—”
“How’s Donovan?” I asked, stepping back, cutting him off.
He frowned, clearly surprised by the question. “He’s fine.”
Donovan Nash was the other man who’d hit every one of my hot buttons. The opposite of Nix. Fair, built like a tank. Equally hot. And nice. And funny. And… lots of ands. He’d joined us on a few occasions planning the ball, but nothing had come of it, no matter how much I’d wanted it to. I’d been crazy to lust after two men. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and it was obvious why. It made me feel really stupid. Silly, for thinking not only one hot guy might be interested in me, but two.
“I can’t let you stay here.” I’d never seen him look at me like this before. Something dark and predatory. Possessive.
Still, it was misplaced and that was like a knife to my insides.
“I know you like to protect people—”
“I want to protect you,” he said, cutting me off. “I thought… I thought we had something going. Before.”
“Before I left town?” I asked, starting to get pissed. He was messing with me.
“Why’d you leave, Kit?” he asked.
As if he didn’t know.
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? You’re asking me that now?”
“You’ve been back five weeks and the first I learn of it… the first I see you is this morning covered in your friend’s blood.”
“Like I said, now?” I was tired, scared, panicked and all that bled over into frustration and anger.
“I thought we were friends.” He ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I thought we were more than that.”
The office door opened and I jumped. Yup, scared. Nix turned and stuck his arm out, as if shielding me from whomever it was.
Donovan stuck his head into the office, grinned. My heart flipped. That panty-melting smile hadn’t changed a bit since I’d seen him last, an instant reminder of why I’d left town and that I wasn’t over him either.
I was interested in both of these men. Still. Crazy. Insane! One of the things I’d thought about during the year I’d been away. Why would I want two men? Why would I want two men who didn’t want me? Who wanted each other?
“Kitty Kat,” he said, coming into the room and pulling me into a hug. He felt hard… everywhere. Warm. Comforting. God, his scent. I thought I’d forgotten that, but no. It was engrained in my mind. And the nickname he had for me. None of it had gone away. “Nix said you were back, but Jesus, woman, when you come back, you don’t go subtle.”
He wasn’t smiling when he said it. Of course, he knew what had happened. Working in the DA’s office gave him direct access to whatever Nix and his team uncovered.
“I’m sorry about Erin,” he murmured, looking me over.
No doubt he could tell I’d been crying. I was wearing hospital-supplied clothes and looked a disaster. I hadn’t even been able to do more than finger-comb my hair after the hospital shower.
“Fuck, it’s horrible.”
He stepped back, stood beside Nix. The two of them—gasp!—together. One dark, the other fair. One serious, the other… playful. Nix had two inches on Donovan, but Donovan had the heft, the bulk of a college football player. Both of them had my heart and they were going to walk out the door, go off to the house they shared and leave me out of the middle. They didn’t want me there, didn’t need me. They had each other.
He tipped his head toward Nix. “He’ll find out what happened.”
“I know.” I did. Nix would discover the truth, would find the killer. “What are you doing here?” It was one thing for the detective on a case to show up and question a suspect, but the prosecutor? Oh. “God, do I need a lawyer?”
I looked to Nix.
“What?” Donovan asked, a little crease denting his brow. “Hell, no. I’m here with Nix to take you home. Let’s get going.”
“Going?”
“You’re coming home with us,” Donovan added, repeating exactly what Nix had said before he’d arrived. So they were living together now. Just great.
Yeah, that was never going to happen. I couldn’t stay under the same roof as the two of them. My heart couldn’t handle it.
“She hasn’t agreed,” Nix told him.
“Why the hell not? There’s a murderer out there. Fuck, just the thought of you sleeping just down the hall while he—” Donovan’s hands clenched into fists, but he didn’t finish his statement. He might be an attorney, but he wasn’t soft.
Anywhere.
“I was asking her why she left town,” Nix said.
“This isn’t an interrogation,” I countered.
“I think we deserve an answer.”
“Yeah, Kitty Kat, why did you leave?” God, when Donovan called me that…
I couldn’t look at them. They were too perfect. Too much for my heart to take. This day had been horrible. My life was a nightmare. It couldn’t get any worse by sharing the truth with these two. I didn’t have them. They weren’t mine and never would be. Saying it aloud wouldn’t change a thing. They’d leave, I’d settle into the sofa for the night. Finally, perhaps, let them go.
“Fine.” I turned, put my hands on my desk, stared down at the glossy surface. “I left because of you two.”
“Us?” Nix asked, his dark brows winging up. “You should have stayed because of us.”
Tears filled my eyes as I shook my head. “I couldn’t stay in town. I’d been stupid.”
“For wanting us?” Nix asked.
“Both of us?” Donovan added, sounding strangely hopeful about that.
I nodded, turned to face them. I tipped my chin up, met their gazes. “I wanted both of you, but you guys didn’t want me. You don’t need me. You have each other.”
The looked at each other, then back at me. “What the hell are you talking about?” Nix asked
.
“You want me to spell it out for you?”
Donovan set his hands on his hips. Even though he worked in the DA’s office, he wasn’t wearing a suit, instead navy pants and a button-down shirt. Not quite a cowboy, but definitely not a city slicker. “Yes.”
“You’re in love with each other, not me,” I shouted.
4
DONOVAN
What. The. Fuck?
Kit thought we were gay? She thought Nix and I were together?
I stared at her.
Nix stared at her.
She was serious. Out of all the possibilities she could have come up with, this one never, ever, entered my mind.
“Kitty Kat, I don’t know if I should spank your ass or kiss you,” I said finally.
She was so damned pretty. She’d always been a tiny package, not even coming up to my shoulders. Yet she had curves. Lots of them. Even in the drab sweatpants and white t-shirt two sizes too large—which didn’t hide the fact she wasn’t wearing a bra—she was perfect. From her hot pink toenails to her wild hair and every soft inch in between. And it was those soft inches I’d fantasized as I rubbed one out. For years.
Her chocolate colored eyes were red rimmed from crying, but it was what I could see in them, the honesty, the truth behind her words. She’d wanted us, but somehow, in some fucked up way, got the idea Nix and I were into each other and not her.
Words weren’t going to work here.
“Fuck it,” I said, stepping up to her, cupping her face in my hands and kissing her. This wasn’t a sisterly fucking peck. Oh no. I devoured her, swallowed her gasp, claimed that hot, sweet mouth as mine. There was no fucking way she’d think we were gay now.
Nix growled, an animalistic sound I could relate to. I lifted my head, stepped back, watched Kit sway. Her eyes were closed, her lips red and glistening. Nix nudged me out of the way and kissed her next. Seeing my best friend with Kit didn’t make me jealous. It made me hard. My dick could pound nails. She’d been ours for so long and now we could finally prove it.
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