by E. C. Land
Rebel
Ever since the other day when Rogue made his intentions known, I’ve been unable to focus on much of anything else. The fact I can’t stop thinking about how he made me feel tells me Grant was right. Rogue and I have so much left between us.
Sitting at my desk, going over my notes, I’m anxious. After the weekend I had, wishing Rogue would show back up, I’d spent Monday morning in court. To make my anxiety peak to an all-time high, because my receptionist is, for some ungodly reason becoming a pain in my ass. She’s screwed up a few of my appointments and over-scheduled several of them. A few of them she’d scheduled were ones I definitely wouldn’t have taken on or given the time of day.
I tap my pen against the desk. I’m focusing on the sound, wondering what Rogue is doing and why he’s not shown his face since.
A shadow falls over my desk, and I raise my head to find my cousin, Cy, standing in front of me. The look he’s giving me doesn’t give me warm and fuzzy feelings like it normally does when I see him. “Everything okay, Cy?”
“Rebel, I’ve got some news I need to share with you,” he states, taking a seat in one of the plush leather chairs.
“What is it?” I ask, placing my pen down.
“This isn’t easy for me to say, Rebel, but Rogue’s been severely injured.” No, he can’t be hurt. He can’t. “It’s bad, sweetheart. You need to go to him. We don’t know if he’ll make it or not. Right now, they’ve put him into a medically induced coma.”
“What happened?” I whisper, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.
“Can’t tell you too many of the details, but I can say he was shot twice. Once in the shoulder, where he’s lucky the bullet didn’t hit an artery. The other bullet was a gut wound. They ended up having to take out his spleen and do some damage control.” I swallow the bile threatening to come up.
Nodding vigorously, I stand, my hands going to either side of my head as I look for what I need to take with me. Phone. Keys. Damnit. Where are my keys? Spotting my purse, I snatch it up and dig my keys out. My only thought is of getting to Rogue.
I have to get to him. Make things right between us.
Heading for the door, Cy wraps an arm around my shoulders and plucks the keys out of my hand. “I’ll drive,” he announces. The look on his face holds no room for argument.
Again I nod, swallowing past the thick lump tightening in my throat.
Walking down the hall toward reception, I pause and look to my receptionist. “I need you to call and reschedule the rest of my appointments for this week.”
“What?” she blanches, looking from me to Cy. “There’s no way I can push all of your appointments back.”
Annoyed and about to flip my shit on her for being incompetent, I take a step closer to her only to have Cy pull me back.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he mutters calmly, then switches his focus to my receptionist. “You’re done here. Get the hell out.”
“You can’t fire me,” she scoffs flipping a hand through her hair.
“I can and will, bitch,” Cy snarls. “Now get your shit and get out.” The tone in my cousin’s voice is enough to scare just about anyone when he’s pissed.
The receptionist’s eyes widen, and she rushes out of the office, stomping her feet.
“Cy, what am I going to do about all my appointments? We have to go. I don’t have time to handle all of this as well.” My panic increases tenfold, feeling as if a grizzly bear’s sitting on my chest, pressing its full weight down, crushing me.
“I got it covered, Rebel,” he states, pulling his phone out of his front pocket as we head for the door.
“How do you have it covered?” I snap, not meaning to.
“Babe, you know who I am. I’ve always got it covered.” He smirks as he looks at my ring of keys to find the one he’s looking for to lock the doors. “Now get in the passenger seat and take a breath.”
Doing as my cousin says, I climb in the passenger seat and slip off my shoes before pulling my knees up in front of me. I can handle being in a courtroom full of tension, but I can’t face the thought of something happening to the man I’ve been in love with since I was a little girl.
Cy
Locking up the doors to my cousin’s office, I dial Malice’s number. With Hammer down in Florida already, he’s going to be the one who can help with this situation. It’s a good thing I left the key he’ll need in my room—the spare to the office.
Holding my phone up to my ear, I make quick work of getting to the driver’s side of Rebel’s Jeep Renegade. The damn woman refuses to switch from Jeep products. Her first vehicle was a Jeep Cherokee and it still sits at my pop’s house. I’m surprised she hasn’t bought a Wrangler yet.
“You tell Rebel?” Malice asks soon as he picks up.
“Yeah,” I confirm, “we’re heading out from here.”
“Good, Hammer just called. Nothing’s changed,” Malice states, updating me on Rogue.
Fuck. He’s gotta make it through this. Rogue isn’t just a brother to me, he’s my best fuckin’ friend, and I can’t lose him. This whole situation guts me that he’s hurt. Sure, I know he’s a pro at what he does for the club when it’s called for his skills, but dammit, if I lost Rogue, I lose Rebel.
Whether my cousin wants to admit it or not, they’re meant to be together. It’s time for them to fix what’s been broken between the two of them.
Opening the driver’s side door, I slide in behind the wheel. “Can you get one of the ol’ ladies to go over to Rebel’s office and reschedule all of her appointments? Make sure that everything is in order. I don’t know what her receptionist did, but from the glance at Rebel’s calendar on the desk, it was slammed packed.”
“Yeah, I’ll see if Avery and Willow can go over there,” Malice says. “Anything else you need from them?”
“Have them find Rebel a competent receptionist who can do the job without attitude?” I start the vehicle and glance over to my cousin to see her already in a ball. Her head is resting on her knees as she stares out the passenger window.
Motherfucker. She’s already gone into her head.
“Got it,” he says. “I’ll get them on it now.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it, VP.” Ending the call, I back out of the parking spot and put the car in drive. It’s going to be a long-ass drive to get to Rogue.
Chapter Six
Rogue
“You have to pull through this. I need you to come back to me.” My mind is in a fog. I can barely hear the sweet voice.
I know that voice, but everything is dark and everything hurts. I don’t have the strength to push forward. Memories of what had happened to me filter through my mind. My brothers and me were helping with a problem the Inferno’s Clutch MC had—us being ambushed—me being shot.
Shit. Did I fuckin’ die?
There’s no way in hell dying can hurt this much. I gotta still be alive.
“Please, Xander. I don’t want to lose you. I’m so sorry for everything.” Rebel. It’s my beautiful little Rebel’s voice talking and it sounds like she’s crying.
I want nothing more than to open my eyes and drag her into my arms to tell her how much I love her. I’ve always hated hearing her cry. Worse than seeing her in tears.
I swear I’ll get better, so I could tell Rebel she can stop crying—her tears break my heart.
Fading back into the depths of darkness, I know I’ve got to regain the strength to get back to her.
“Xander, please wake up. You have to wake up for me. I can’t stand the thought of you never waking up. Even if you were to never talk to me again, I’d be okay as long as it meant you were going to be here still.” Rebel’s soft voice is the first thing I hear besides the insistent beeping of a heart monitor.
With some effort, I’m able to open my eyes enough to see I’m not dreaming of Rebel. She’s here. I stay silent while staring at my beautiful woman. Rebel has always been mine ever since she was a little girl and seeing the sadnes
s radiating off her guts me. But I’m not ready to let her know I’m awake yet. I’m savoring the touch of her hand on mine.
Sitting forward in her chair, Rebel’s got my hand clasped between hers. With her eyes closed, she murmurs quietly. When she starts to sit back in her seat, I close my eyes again before she sees I’m awake.
I highly doubt if she knew I’m awake, she’d be showing her vulnerable side.
Rebel’s quietness is starting to get to me, and I’m about to let her know I’m awake when she decides to blow my mind.
“I wish you were awake right now, Xander. Seeing you like this is killing me. We’ve made a mess of things between the two of us. I know you said I’m your woman, but you can’t want me,” she whispers. “Your words have haunted my dreams every night since then. Honestly, to tell you the truth, I’ve been haunted by dreams of what we could’ve had, could’ve been, since I was sixteen. I regret the way we ended things. I’d been naïve and stupid to not realize everything was a setup. You were right to break up with me for not trusting in you.”
Fuck me.
I remember that day. It had nearly killed me to end our relationship.
Ten Years Ago
“Rebel, you really want to believe some bullshit picture,” I bellow, throwing the envelope on the table next to where Rebel is standing, peering down at the floor. She’s refusing to listen to me. “If you’d actually look at the damn thing, you’d see it’s not my fuckin’ body. You, of all people, know my tattoos. Look at the damn hand, and you’ll see all the proof you need.”
“Xander, this could have been taken before you got that damn tattoo,” she cries. “You’re older than me, and only just started having sex with me after I turned sixteen. Don’t you think it hasn’t crossed my mind you could’ve been with whoever the hell you wanted over the past two years?”
“Who the hell did I fuck? Huh? I’ve done nothing behind your back, Rebel. Not one damn thing,” I roar, turning away from her. I know I’ve gotta temper, but I’ve never taken my frustrations out on her, and I won’t start now. She means the damn world to me. Sucks that it’s all spinning out of control, because of a stupid ass picture.
“I don’t know,” Rebel sobs, “you’ve got access to all of those ‘Johnson Chasers’ at the clubhouse, more than willing to jump your soldier. All they require is you giving them a smile and telling them to lift their damn skirts.”
If it were any other time, I might laugh at her names for not just my cock, but what she calls the club whores.
“I’ve thought about it constantly for the past week.” Her words are tearing me up inside. “I don’t want to believe it, but this isn’t easy.”
“What’s not easy about it? It’s as simple as you do, or you don’t,” I sneer, spinning on my heel to face her once more. “Rebel, if you can’t trust me, then we can’t do this.”
Rebel’s eyes widen at my admission. “What?”
Shaking my head in denial, I shove my hands in my pockets. “To be with me you need to trust me. Trust me with your heart, body, and soul. I’ve told you this. You know the kinda shit I like. Shit. We’ve even done some of it.”
Giving her one last look, I turn and start for the door. I stop long enough to look at her. “Call me when you grow up, Duchess. Until then, we’re done. I’m not going to wait for you to decide whether or not to trust me. I’d never fuckin’ hurt you, let alone cheat on you.”
With that, I open the door and walk away, leaving my heart behind with the only woman who will ever hold it in her hands.
My heart is still in the hands of the woman sitting next to my hospital bed.
“You know the only other guy I’ve been within the past ten years is Grant.”
I open my eyes, ready to tell her to be quiet. To never tell me about her and other men. But I find her eyes are closed, tears spilling down her cheeks. Rebel’s in her head, and I’m betting all of this has been pent-up inside her for a while now. Maybe even years.
“I chose him, because he’s the exact opposite of you,” she whispers. “I didn’t have to worry about comparing him to you the way I did with the guys I tried dating. I finally stopped dating. Gave up on the thought of being with any of them and started working harder than ever. Still, I’ve not truly overcome my trust issues. Instead I buried them, pretending I’m okay with my life the way it is.”
By the time she’s done, I’m done listening and decide to let her know I’m awake, “Duchess,” I rasp gruffly. Rebel’s eyes fly open, and she gapes at me, startled by my voice. With her facing me, I notice the darkness under her eyes. It looks like she’s not slept in weeks.
“You’re awake,” she cries, shooting forward in her seat.
“Yeah, baby, now come here,” I order, needing her closer than just sitting in the chair next to me.
Rebel does as I tell her and comes to sit on the side of my bed.
Lifting my hands, I ignore the pain as I reach out and pull her even closer.
“What are you doin—” she whispers, trying to stop me from all but pulling her into the bed next to me. It might be a small fit, but I want to feel her.
“I’m putting you where you belong, Rebel. Right here next to me. It’s where you’ve always belonged. Now quit rebelling against me. You’re mine, Duchess,” I state and press a kiss to her forehead. Keeping her close, I close my eyes and let sleep pull me under once more.
Chapter Seven
Rebel
He woke up.
Oh my God, he finally woke up.
It’s been three weeks since he’d been shot and nearly died. The doctors kept telling me that he’s improving daily. To me, it didn’t matter what they said. I needed him to wake up and tell me he’s okay. Only then I’d believe their prognosis.
“I’m putting you where you belong, Rebel. Right here next to me. It’s where you’ve always belonged. Now quit rebelling against me. You’re mine, Duchess.” Rogue’s words run circles in my mind as I lay with my head against his good shoulder.
Did he hear me talking to him?
The thought of him actually hearing what I’d been saying is mortifying.
From the time I’d stepped foot into the hospital, I’ve not once left his room. No matter how many times others had tried to get me to, I refused to leave his side. Cy had ended up going to the store and buying me some leggings and a few tank tops. The fact my cousin brought me Rogue’s hoodie means everything to me. I remember Rogue telling me he always keeps one in his saddlebags on the bike. Cy had also bought me some stuff I could use in the shower attached to Rogue’s room.
Laying here next to him, I finally allow myself to drift off for the first time, knowing he’s going to be okay.
I don’t know how much time passes before someone touching my cheek gently pulls me from my deep slumber. Eyes fluttering open, it takes a moment for me to realize where I am. When I do, I nearly fall off the side of the bed. I’d have definitely ended up on my ass if not for Rogue’s arm holding me to him.
The door to Rogue’s room opens, and the doctor comes into the room frowning. “Ms. McAlister, you do realize you are not supposed to be in a patient’s bed unless you are the said patient,” he chastises.
Great, just what I need.
“I don’t know who you are, but if I want my fuckin’ woman next to me, then that’s where the fuck she’ll be,” Rogue states, his tone definitely not happy at the way the doctor is speaking to me in front of him.
“Xander, it’s okay,” I murmur, bringing his attention to me as I sit up and climb off the bed. “He’s right.”
“Rebel, I ain’t about to have you sitting in a damn chair looking like you haven’t slept in a month while I lay here. You know that isn’t me,” Rogue says, narrowing his gaze on me before switching his focus to the doctor, not giving me a chance to respond.
Sighing in frustration, I take my seat next to Rogue and grasp his hand. Rogue’s doctor—who I might add has been nothing but an ass toward me from the get-go—clears his th
roat. “How are you feeling today?”
“Just peachy.” Rogue grinds out. I guess he’s already picking up on the doctor’s attitude.
“Well, that’s good. I’m Dr. Kornberg,” he introduces himself and looks to Rogue’s chart.
“When can I get the hell out of here?” Rogue demands. I know he’s always hated hospitals.
Dr. Kornberg looks down his nose in disdain. “Sir, you’ve been in a coma for the past three weeks after nearly dying due to two gunshot wounds. You are lucky to be alive today.”
“Right, so, when the hell can I get out of here?” Rogue asks again, interrupting Dr. Kornberg.
“Sir,” Kornberg sputters, “I’m sorry, but you aren’t going to be able to leave just yet.”
“Look dickhead, I’m not stayin’ here,” Rogue declares. “I need someone to take care of me, fine, I get that, but I’ll do that at home where I’m sure my doc can show respect to my woman.”
Oh boy, this doctor has pissed Rogue off more than I thought he could’ve.
“Xander,” I whisper his name, bringing his focus to me. “Stop being hard on the doctor. I shouldn’t have been in bed next to you. You know this. I—”
“Duchess,” he says, glaring at me. “Are my brothers here?” I nod my answer to keep from snapping at him. “Do me a favor, go get them for me. I’m getting out of here and going the fuck home.”
Giving Rogue a glare of my own, I stomp to the door. I don’t miss the smirk he gives me as I open the damn thing, leaving him alone with the doctor.
In the hallway, I let out a sigh of relief. Rogue’s awake. He’s going to be okay. I walk down the hall feeling lighter than I have in the past three weeks. However, a new worry hits me. Where do we go from here? Rogue keeps calling me his woman. But am I? Can I really be? I wasn’t lying when I was talking to him while thinking he was asleep. I’ve never overcome my trust issues.
Stepping into the waiting room, I find Axe and Cy sitting there drinking coffee. “You didn’t bring me one?” I ask, gaining their attention.