“Because you think if you admit it to yourself you won’t be able to walk away. And you think if you stay, you’ll kill me, when I know what will kill me is your leaving.”
His eyes dropped from the passion in her gaze and she pushed her body against his.
“I love you,” she said. “Forever. Nothing you do will ever change that. Knowing you as I do, I don’t think you could hurt me, even as the bear.”
“You don’t know me as well as you think, and you don’t know the bear. Remember my transformation that night in the castle garden? You felt real fear that I would attack you and the bear in me considered it. I don’t know what stayed my claws except that you confused me and there was another target. I can’t say what would happen next time. I was very glad you were up that tree for the last transformation.”
Vard turned and began to dress, enjoying the feel of her eyes on his body. “I have an idea.” He turned to find hope shining in her eyes.
“Will it keep us together?” she asked.
“It’s too early to say, but it’s worth a try. When I visit Hetty to reset the enchantment on the stone, I’ll ask her about a mentor. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
Alecia flung her arms around his neck again. “Hetty will help, I know she will.”
He smiled at her certainty. “We’ll travel north and I’ll leave you with the Andras until my return.” His resolution to leave Alecia faltered at the disappointment in her gaze.
“I don’t wish to stay with the Andras. I want to come with you and see Hetty.”
“We can’t risk it, Alecia. Would you have the last month be for nothing?”
She shuddered. It didn’t take much insight to understand that she imagined the attentions of her betrothed.
“I’ll stay with Master Andra and his wife, but promise you’ll return.”
Vard made the pledge knowing he wouldn’t hesitate to break it if it would protect his love.
Night lay over Brightcastle town as the hawk soared high above the rooftops. A burning need drove the handsome bird toward a double-story shack that lay in an alley back from the main street. The hawk’s keen eye saw much, even in the gloom. A rat scuttled across the cobbles of the main street and a black cat skulked around the corner of a tavern. A figure in dark clothes ran lightly across the rooftops to disappear into the window of an adjacent dwelling. Finally, the bird plummeted from the sky and landed on the rim of a rain barrel at the back of the house.
Vard felt his feathers shrink and his limbs lengthen as the transformation took hold. Slowly, his thought turned from flight and a juicy rabbit to the matter at hand. Finally, he sat on the rain barrel and spat a feather from his mouth. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to focus on the purpose of his visit. If the witch knew anything, she must share her secrets.
He stood on the rim of the barrel and leapt to grab the windowsill above him. The timber groaned with his weight but held. He pushed open the window and pulled himself through, dropping to the floor just as something brushed past his ear.
“One step closer and the next will be through your heart,” a voice rasped.
Despite himself, Vard shivered. The old woman had more than enough tricks to keep her safe from most intruders.
“Hetty, it’s I, Vard Anton.”
There was a rustle and a lamp flared beside the bed. Vard threw his arm up to shield his eyes from the sudden bright light. Hetty stood by the bed, her black eyes boring into him, wild gray hair even more untidy than usual.
“I thought never to see you again, changeling. I suppose you need my help.” Sudden alarm exposed the whites of her eyes. “Is the princess well?”
“Alecia is well, but the amulet has failed.”
The witch took a step forward. “I wondered how long my enchantment would last. You’re certain the princess is unharmed?”
“She’s fine, but you must know that.”
“I know nothing of the sort, Captain. My scrying has shown Alecia in danger from mercenaries on almost a daily basis this last month. I might have known you wouldn’t be able to keep her safe.”
He shook his head impatiently. “Would you cease your badgering? I need your help.”
“As always! How it must irk you to come crawling to me when something needs fixing.”
He ground his teeth. No one could get under his skin as Hetty could. “I’d be grateful if you could place another spell on my amulet,” he said, gripping the stone to aid control of his temper.
Hetty considered him. Vard thought he saw a spark of compassion in her eyes.
“Come to the kitchen and I’ll brew you some tea. You look hungry.” She motioned for him to precede her through the door and down the narrow stairs to the floor below. Hetty swept by him when they reached the door to the kitchen. “Stay here, I must close the curtain,” she said as she disappeared into the room.
Vard waited in the hall until Hetty called him through.
“You took a risk coming here, for you and for me. So far, I’ve managed to escape the notice of the prince. If you’re seen hanging around here, someone will come asking questions.”
“I was careful.” He wasn’t about to explain all his secrets to the witch. “What news of Finus?” He swung his cloak off and laid it across a chair.
Hetty crossed to the fire, laid more logs and placed the kettle on a hook over the flames. “He still lives, though my scrying shows a very ill man. Official word is that he will make a full recovery, but I have my doubts.”
Vard nodded. It was as he thought. “And what other news?”
“The prince searches for a bride.” The witch placed two cups and saucers on the sturdy wooden table and cut thick slabs of bread. “He has four young women at the castle, and it’s said he’ll choose a wife from among them.”
Vard stared. “Alecia won’t be pleased to hear that. As much as she’s angry with her father, she won’t want him to replace her mother.” He doubted he’d even mention the news to Alecia.
“You could well be right, Captain, but I don’t think the princess can influence anything her father decides. She couldn’t do it when she was here and she most certainly can do nothing in exile.”
Vard’s anger simmered at the censure in Hetty’s voice. He leaned on the table. “What would you suggest? That Alecia return to sort matters out?”
An uncomfortable silence stretched between them as they stared at each other. Finally Hetty looked away. “As much as I’d like her away from you and the danger you pose,” she said, “her return now wouldn’t be wise. The kingdom will have to manage without her for the time being.” She moved to the fireplace and busied herself with brewing the tea.
Vard sat and buttered himself a piece of bread, smearing it with honey. It had been a long time since he had eaten fresh baked bread. Hetty poured two cups of tea then held her hand out to Vard.
“Pass me your amulet.”
He unthreaded the amber stone from the leather cord around his neck and handed it to her. Hetty placed the stone on the kitchen table and turned to the shelves behind her, selecting four jars. She removed one item from each. Vard didn’t need to read the labels to know what she chose: claw of bear, feather of hawk, tooth of wolf, and skin of human. They were parts of all the creatures that resided within him. Goddess help him, but it was the sad truth, the curse of his birthright.
Distracted by morose thoughts of the reality of his existence, Vard didn’t notice Hetty’s hand pause over the jar of human skin and then reach for his head.
“Ouch!” he said, as she jerked a hunk of hair from his scalp. “What are you about?”
Hetty barely spared him a glance. “If you want my help you’ll mind your manners. Last time I used human skin. This time I’ll use your hair. Just thank the Goddess I don’t require anything more painful, yet.”
Was that a smirk he could see beneath the old witch’s whiskers? “Don’t try my patience, woman,” he growled.
Hetty snorted. She gathered he
r ingredients and the amber stone, in her palms. She closed her eyes and began chanting a spell under her breath. Orange fumes swirled from between her fingers, slowly turning to red as the chanting continued. The smoke swirled into an upward spiral and oozed across the ceiling. Acrid fumes burned the back of Vard’s throat and made his eyes water. He gulped the rest of his tea to wash the unpleasantness from his mouth. Hetty seemed not to be affected at all. She grinned as he mopped his tears with a kitchen towel, and held out the stone for his inspection. As in the past, the talisman had turned to crimson, but now he spied in its depths the forms of the ingredients Hetty had used in her spell.
“Will fusing the animal elements make it stronger, or last longer?” Vard asked.
“I can’t say,” Hetty said. “It could make it weaker.”
Frustration boiled up at not knowing. To avoid speaking the harsh words that threatened to spill from his mouth, Vard took the stone and fastened it back around his throat. He gripped the talisman in his left hand and focused on the composure he needed. Instant calm enveloped him.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Never mind that,” she said, “tell me about the princess. I want to know how she is.”
“Alecia is as well as can be expected considering she is living rough,” he said, his voice harsh. “She is as brave as a lion, but we are pursued by more of her father’s men every day and I fear it won’t be long until we succumb. She insists on staying with me but the last month has taught me the folly in this. You once suggested I search for someone who could help me master my transformations. I thought maybe you knew of someone?”
“As it happens, I might know something.”
Vard stiffened, every nerve alert. “What is it?”
“I’ve heard of a powerful wizard said to have the ability to transform into other shapes. The tales come from several sources, which might mean there is some truth to them. You may find this sorcerer in Amitania if the rumors are to be believed.”
“Amitania,” Vard said. “That’s the lost metropolis that lies to the north of here.”
“It is,” Hetty said, “but beware. I’ve heard fell things about the wizard and the ruined city. It may not be safe to enter there, and your welcome couldn’t be assured.”
“I can’t afford to ignore this chance, Hetty, but thank you for the warning.”
“It may be just stories with no substance.”
“I think not,” he said. “Alecia has had dark dreams of a sinister man whose abode is a ruined city. Perhaps they are premonitions.”
Hetty’s brows drew down and she was silent for a moment. “She has often spoken of vivid dreams but I dismissed them as products of her overactive imagination.”
“Alecia doesn’t suffer from wild fancies,” he snapped.
“My, my,” Hetty said. “You have grown attached to the princess, haven’t you, changeling?
Vard fought his temper. “It’s none of your concern.”
“You’re not happy about your love for Alecia. You fight it every day. Am I right?”
“I can do nothing about my feelings for her. What I can do is keep her safe, from myself, and from her father’s men and Finus. That I will do if I have to lose my life in the process.”
“If I know the girl, she has given her heart and soul to you. See that you respect it.”
“As I said, it’s none of your concern.”
“If anything happens to her, I’ll make it my business to track you down and make you sorry. Remember that.”
Vard stared at the witch for a long moment and then nodded. There weren’t many who could stare him out like that. He folded a slab of bread and honey in his hand. Hetty stood and wrapped the rest of the loaf in a linen cloth and handed it to him. “For the princess,” she said. “Tell her I said ‘hello’.”
“Thank you.” He followed Hetty out of the kitchen and down the hallway to the back door. She opened it and let him out without another word. He crouched in the lee of the rain barrel, shoved the bread in the pocket of his cloak and gripped the amber stone at his throat. The image of the hawk slowly formed in his mind, bone by bone, feather by feather, until it took on a life of its own. His body changed into the black and gold bird. It pushed off with powerful talons and surged into the night sky, potent strokes of its magnificent wings carrying it steadily westward. Perhaps there would be a juicy rabbit on the return flight.
Chapter 3
Alecia maintained a vigil for a full day and night while Mistress Andra kept her company. She hadn’t told the farm wife where Vard was going. After all, the trip to Brightcastle and back should take eight days by horseback, not the mere sixteen hours Vard had estimated it would take to fly. Alecia was glad of the company, as it helped her to occasionally forget the risks her beloved was taking. The hawk was his most vulnerable form, for obvious reasons. One well-placed arrow and his life would be over.
“Don’t be concerned for the captain, Princess,” her hostess said, a smile creasing the corners of her mouth. “He can look after himself. It’s you I’m concerned about. You’re pale. Are you ill?”
“Oh, no, Mistress, just the odd twinge and some nausea. I do get tired, but it’s this sleeping rough that does it.” Alecia’s face grew hot as she remembered another reason she often lost sleep.
The sharp eyes of the farm wife didn’t miss the blush. “You take care or you’ll be with child before long, then see how well you do on the road. Have you been taking your mugwort and parsley tea each morning?”
Alecia’s stomach flipped and bile rose in her throat. She stared at Mistress Andra, her mouth dry and her hand on her stomach. The nausea and the cramps. . . she could already be with child! How could she be so stupid?
“How long have you been on the road, Princess?”
Alecia counted back. It was hard to remember exactly. “A little over one month, Mistress, and I have not had a bleed in all that time. It’s weeks overdue and I never thought!”
Mistress Andra stood and came to rest her hand on Alecia’s shoulder. “It’s not the end of the world, Princess. You have a good man with you and he’ll see you right. We’ll always take you in if you need a home. I know what you did for us.”
Alecia frowned. “What do you mean?”
“It was you who killed the mercenaries that murdered my boy.”
Alecia noted her failure to use her son’s name. Too painful. Alecia still flinched every time she remembered her friend lay cold in a grave. He had been so much a part of her life. Not just her companion but her first love, albeit an innocent one. Her musings were cut short as Mistress Andra continued.
“All but one, I heard. You don’t know what comfort that gives Thom and me to know that our son’s death was avenged.”
“Who told you?”
“It was the prince himself. Rode out here and told us the whole story. Of how the men overstepped their bounds and how you cut them down one by one. He was looking for you and thought you might be with us. He assured me that the remaining mercenary would be crucified and gave me a purse of gold. I truly believe he was trying to make amends for our loss. The prince is out of his mind with worry and grief over losing you.”
Alecia couldn’t believe what she heard. “When did he do this?”
“Three weeks ago, near enough. I thanked him and he went on his way. Princess, can I tell him I’ve seen you?”
“No! He may have done the right thing by you finally but he doesn’t deserve the name ‘father’.” Alecia’s chest ached with the pain of her father’s betrayal all over again. “You don’t know how I’ve been treated by him. Father locked me in a dungeon and wanted to marry me off. Lord Finus is so old and he touched me. . .” Her voice ended in a sob and Mistress Andra patted her shoulder.
“No need to tell me, Princess. It’s all over now. I won’t go telling your father anything. Dry your eyes.” She handed Alecia a cloth. “So you haven’t been taking the tea then?”
Alecia shook her head.
“It
will be too early for me to tell by feel if you’re with child, but you’ll know soon enough. You must take care of yourself.”
Alecia laid her hands across her abdomen, imagining the new life that could be growing within her. Vard’s child. Through the fear, a small spark of excitement flared. She couldn’t be sad about having his child, but she couldn’t tell him, or he would certainly leave her behind. He wouldn’t take the risk of hurting her or the child by living rough. “Don’t say anything to the captain, Mistress.”
“As you wish, Princess. Now dry your eyes, he’ll be back soon.” Mistress Andra glanced out the window and Alecia thought she looked worried. “It’s nearly dawn.”
A faint rim of light through the window did indeed herald the new day. Alecia’s pulse quickened. She had expected Vard back before this. “I wonder what can have kept him. Do you think he’s safe?” Perhaps a fat rabbit had crossed his path on the flight? She knew he wouldn’t be able to pass up the chance of a meal as the hawk. The thought of fresh meat made her ill.
There was a scrape at the door and then a knock. Mistress Andra flew to the door and opened it a crack. “Welcome back, Captain Anton.” She cast a look at Alecia. “We were just talking of you.”
He looked tired. Shadows lay deep beneath his eyes and his shoulder-length black curls were mussed by the wind. The golden flecks of his eyes stood out more than usual.
As Alecia stood, dizziness swept over her and she grabbed for the back of a chair to support herself. Vard reached her in a flash and helped her back into her seat. “Sit still, Alecia, and the mistress will fetch you tea and honey.” His gaze ran over her, penetrating despite his weariness. “Are you well?”
Her heart melted at the warmth in his eyes. “You took longer than I thought.”
“You need not have worried,” he said, as Mistress Andra placed two warm mugs of steaming tea on the table. He glanced up at the woman. “She has been poorly of late, Mistress. Is there anything you can give her? A tonic perhaps?”
“I’m no wise woman, Captain, but the princess needs rest and good food. She shouldn’t be on the road.”
Princess in Exile Page 2