by Lexy Wolfe
“Interesting. Dzee asked me the same thing.” They looked at the path as her brothers joined them. “You were called here by your Totani as well?”
“We were. But Anibu did not say why.” Seeker frowned in puzzlement, looking at Skyfire. “Did Kailee say anything more to you?”
He shook his head, crossing his arms, his expression unhappy. “All she said was not to mention it to Storm. I am grateful that Aelia is asleep more than awake right now, but it feels wrong to exclude the one who has been Githalin longest from a meeting of all of us.”
“Aw, it warms my soul knowing you are still so protective of Thandar’s Githalin,” Kailee purred. She appeared up another path, followed by Anibu, both in their bestial forms. “But you need not worry so, Skyfire.”
The black jackal settled beside Seeker. “This is about Storm.”
“And Thandar.” Citali’s voice hissed like a whisper, but carried in the still air. In human form, he slipped his arm around Star’s waist, kissing the top of her head. “They are not only our brother and sister.”
Dzee glided in and dropped lightly beside Terrence. “They are Githalin also. That makes us all different from the other Totani as it makes you different from other humans.” Her form shifted to her humanoid shape. “The only ones who understand what they suffer.”
The young mage looked confused. “Divine servants have been around for so long. Haven’t the others ever chosen anyone to be Githalin?”
“Oh, we have all had the bond at one time or another. Some more frequently.” Citali sat on the ground, drawing Star to sit beside him. The other humans settled by their Totani, Kailee and Anibu remaning in their animal forms.
She blinked. “Even you, Citali?”
He laughed. “It has been a very, very long time. But yes. Even me, my Star. I am very particular with who I share myself with.” He clasped her hand, kissing her knuckles. “But when our mortal bondmates pass, as they always do, with them goes some of our shared memories.”
“But mortals do not remember their past lives. There are things forgotten forever?” Terrence asked, the Forentan in him horrified at the thought of lost knowledge.
“Not everything is forgotten.” Dzee pressed her lips together for a moment. “It is difficult to describe what is lost. Not so much whole memories, but pieces. Usually the sensory facets. The sounds of a child’s laugh. The scent of the air. The sensation of a touch. Occasionally the memory of what had been seen through our Githalin’s eyes. The heart of the memory remains, but the nuances are gone unless we bond with the same soul again.”
“Githalin is the only time we may seek out those we had been close to in a previous mortal life,” Kailee rumbled, her tail lashing. “After the Great War, we discovered Zhekali had been reborn but was not able to become immortal again because of the curse. Our lord father chose Thandar to be her Githalin. He was tasked to find her with every rebirth and protect her. It was an enviable honor until her first death because of the curse. But it is a blessing and curse to remember everything our bondmate suffers as they die.”
“How many times did Storm…?” Star wondered in a small voice.
The Totani looked between each other. “We stopped counting after fifty,” Anibu stated after a long silence. “Thandar has only had a few bonds since who were not her.” He closed his eyes. “At first, he struggled so hard to save her. He nearly destroyed himself trying.”
Kailee growled. “Because he refused to accept it would take a defiler to end her curse. The defiler who had stolen her from us.”
“But Avarian didn’t steal her,” Terrence argued, stung at the accusation. “She chose to—”
“There is no logic where the heart is concerned,” Dzee interrupted with a gentle hand on Terrence’s shoulder. “Especially not when you must endure and remember each torturous death.”
“Suffering another’s death?” Star hugged herself, her voice a whisper. “That is horrible.”
“It is not crossing the blade that is terrible, it is the struggle to survive that comes before it.” Citali turned his unblinking, serpentine eyes to his Githalin. “Zhekali’s soul wanted to live. But not for herself.”
“For Avarian,” Terrence whispered.
“For love. For hope.” Dzee’s soft voice held a note of reverence. “The ideal of our lord father exemplified through her. There are few who would have given so much as she had. But after a time, she struggled not to be born at all, all in the hope Avarian could live a normal life, not one forced to end because of her. She desperately hates having no control over her fate, or having others control it. Thus her fury at the ancient trinity’s attempt to force her into any choice.”
Skyfire jumped to his feet, fists clenched. “So why do you do nothing? Why have you not searched for him? Aelia is suffering! Sitting here talking does not help. You abandoned them both!”
Kailee bared her teeth, ears flattened back as she rose. “How dare you accuse us of abandoning them?”
He glared at her. “What else am I supposed to believe? You hate the Forenten! Whenever I speak to Lyra, you mock her in my mind. You are here doing nothing while Thandar is missing and Aelia’s soul is torn apart!” The cat leaped for his throat, but he easily caught her, rolling on his back and sending her over his head.
The other three Totani held their own humans from interfering. “But they will kill each other!” Terrence exclaimed, looking between Dzee and the fight in horror.
“They will not,” she assured, though her own anxiousness trembled through her touch.
Rock tore into hide when Skyfire flung Kailee away, claws raked skin when she landed blows on him. The two swayed on their feet, glaring at one another. They slammed into each other as Kailee changed to her human form. She twisted around, throwing her Githalin onto the ground and sitting atop him, pinning his wrists.
“Do I hate the mages? Yes!” she seethed. “I remember what they had done. I watched the suffering. I lived through it with my Githalin as his soul was ripped from mine and still bear those scars! I will never forget their betrayal and I await them to sink their daggers in our backs once more.” She sat up, her anger calming as she released his wrists. “But to cling to that hatred and anger would betray our lord father and Zhekali’s sacrifice.” She got up, extending her hand to Skyfire. He hesitated a moment before accepting her aid, getting to his feet with a grunt.
“I have searched all of the Rumblelands and Desantiva to find Thandar,” Anibu stated in grave tones. “But he has learned Zhekali’s paradox well.”
Terrence tilted his head, perplexed. “He is hiding? But why?”
“We do not know. Perhaps we should have suspected something when his demeanor changed centuries ago. Pressed him for an explanation. His anger and rage turned to sadness and resignation. When the time he would lose Zhekali’s current incarnation neared, he would disappear.”
His ears twitched back. “None of us knew where he went. Or where he goes now. I had tracked him once, but all I know is he goes to the mortal plane. Once he crosses over, I lose his trail.”
Skyfire dropped back to the ground where he had been sitting, shoulders sagging. “If Anibu cannot track him, what can we do?”
As battered as Skyfire, Kailee put her arm around him, brushing fingers over his temple. “Humans have qualities we divine servants do not. Perhaps it was those qualities that made Zhekali so extraordinary.” She rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. “Humans are adept at uncovering paradoxes.”
“You expect us to find Thandar?” Skyfire asked, weariness soaking his tones.
“You specifically? No.” Dzee looked at Terrence. “We expect Sumyr to find him.”
“Me?” He jumped up, pale eyes wide in shock and no small amount of fear. “Why me?”
“Well, you are a master mage,” Skyfire pointed out, confused at the young man’s upset.
“Titles be damned, I’m a novice at damned near everything. Even among us here, I am nothing! You are a great warrior
. Star is a powerful spiritwalker.” He waved a hand toward Anibu. “Seeker is phenomenal at tracking things and people down. What am I?”
“Tristan,” the Totani stated in unison.
“I am not Tristan!” he exclaimed in frustration. “Tristan is dead!”
“You are right. You are no more Tristan than Storm is Zhekali.” Citali tilted his head. “Do you believe she is less?” He held up one hand. “No, she does not have the raw power she once had. But I would say her physical skill now surpasses what she had when she was immortal, and that makes her formidable. But I digress.” He crossed his arms. “She was not born a divine servant.” He leaned forward. “She became one.”
Dzee stood, putting her hands on Terrence’s shoulders. “Tristan changed the land and those within it so it would endure when he attempted to save Zhekali and Avarian’s lives.”
Terrene turned away. “And failed.”
“To save them, yes. But he saved their legacy.” He looked at Citali. “He saved Desantiva.”
“By twisting it! He turned it inside out and upside down and it is still deteriorating. Most of the life forms that you Totani adored are gone! If anything happens to you—”
“Mosir found one of the new ones suitable to him and returned,” Kailee stated. She smirked. “Granted, he does not want to leave Storm’s side. But it proves that what Tristan had created is not corrupt. It is only different and when we find one compatible to us? Then we will return.”
Dzee touched Terrence’s chin, turning him to face her. “There is another quality that Zhekali possessed. One that her son inherited. An understanding of paradox. And one he inherited from his sire.” Terrence could not help but frown at the unexpected reference to Avarian. “The ability to improvise his magic to suit the need. Do you really believe Tristan planned the Changewinds?”
He turned away, crossing his arms. “No. He did not plan it. He was impulsive. He did not think things through. Ever. He didn’t even have a plan for saving his parents. If he had taken time, he might have…done a better job.”
“Or he could have taken too long and been too late,” Anibu stated with a canine-like shrug. “He might have convinced himself he should not try changing the past, not seen what was happening to Desantiva at all, and the land would have crumbled long before now. The great balance irreparably thrown askew and the rest of the world following after it.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Neither do you, Terrence.” Star went to him, putting her hand over his heart. “You are making yourself crazy worrying about actions that cannot be undone. What is done, is done. Do not agonize over the events of the past. They were the best choices to be made.”
“But it didn’t fix anything, Star,” he whispered, agonized. He clasped her hand, pressing it against his cheek as a tear escaped. “It didn’t save Zhekali and Avarian. And Desantiva continues to die.”
“Then fix it now.” She smiled at his startled reaction. “Believe the choices Tristan made were the best ones he could to keep things together until he was strong enough to finish the task. Believe that is why you were reborn now.” She covered his lips when he began to refute her words. “And if you do not think you are what you need to be, then focus on becoming it so you can.”
He blinked several times. “Become what I need to be…?” He frowned in thought for several minutes before focusing on Kailee. “You were close to Thandar, weren’t you?”
She narrowed her eyes, the fur along her spine rising. “He is my brother.” She explained in curt tones to the human’s confusion and the other Totani’s amusement, “When our souls were new, we shared parents. We have always been close.”
Terrence dismissed the trivial information. “He must have known the curse’s time was approaching. Had he said anything strange? Something peculiar that didn’t make sense to you?”
“Nothing that hinted where he went.” She closed her eyes, looking away as Skyfire took her hand in both of his and held it reassuringly. “Only that he regretted his attack on her when she brought you before our great father and despaired of ever redeeming himself in Zhekali’s eyes.”
“Redemption?” Terrence looked at Dzee, quizzical. “Do you think this is what the ancient trinity wanted of me?”
“The ancient trinity?” The other three Totani reacted with surprise and suspicion. “What do They have to do with this?” Kailee demanded, her hostility palpable. “Have They threatened you as Storm had feared they would?”
“We will not allow Them to hurt anyone,” Citali stated staunchly, getting to his feet in a smooth motion.
Anibu’s form melted to his humanoid one, pale blue eyes flashing and fists clenched. “Not another single living thing will suffer because of Their selfishness.”
“No!” He held up both hands to stop them before they did anything to alarm the Raging One or the other divine servants. “No, no, wait!” Terrence took a deep breath and explained his encounter in Fortress with the three ancient deities. He pulled out the strange crystal from a pouch. “Then the Voice of Fortress gave me this.”
Both Totani and humans gathered closer to see the object. Citali grabbed Star’s wrist to stop her from touching it. She looked at him, confused and worried she did something wrong. “The only one who can touch that is the one to whom it belongs. If anyone else tries, it will be…unpleasant.”
Seeker frowned, then reached out. A spark arced between his fingertip and the crest of the crystal. “Ow!” He shook his hand then put his finger in his mouth.
Anibu smirked to Citali. “You know he had to see for himself.” The pale Totani rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Star giggled, Skyfire chuckling and ruffing his brother’s hair. The jackal looked at Kailee, flashing white teeth in an impish grin. She only snorted though a smile played on her lips.
“But what is it? Bastille never told me.” He studied the crystal, bumping it with his thumbnail. “And why doesn’t it hurt me?”
Dzee rested her hands on his shoulders, looking around him at the crystal. “Curious that it does not.” She smiled at his flash of irritation. “Forgive me, dear one. But it doesn’t really have a name. Or rather, not a single one. We Totani call them anchor stones. The Trisari had called them patron stones. Its purpose is to bind a divine servant to the mortal plane.”
Kailee crossed her arms. “The Trisari would give theirs to the head of some family they took a fancy to so they could sense and follow them more easily. We put ours in the land so we can sense all within it equally.”
The jackal Totani added, “Regardless of where they reside or the purpose they were placed, they allow us to travel between this realm and the mortal one without aid of a portal.”
“Well, the rest of you put them here.” Citali grinned at them. “Mine resides across the blade.”
“That is why you never come to the mortal side?” Star covered her mouth with both hands. “And Nolyn brought you across?” He arched a brow, causing her to redden. “I know you were on this side, I thought he just guided you and you choose not to come here.”
“Ah, no, my dear Star. Your lifemate is a rare breed. When you helped him open his eyes in the dreamscape, it allowed him to see the fabric of that realm and he bridged both realms. With both realms overlapping, the Oolak had nowhere to flee to, which allowed me to challenge it.” He grinned roguishly. “Given time, Nolyn might even figure out how to cross the blade without my blessing.”
“You are digressing, Citali,” Dzee chided in mild tones. She picked up the explanation. “When a new soul for a divine servant is born, a new anchor stone appears near the altar it is most aligned to. They would be drawn to it the moment they reach adulthood in their mortal form. But this was in the trinity temple in Fortress?” She tilted her head, her intrigue infectious. “New divine servants are only born to other divine servants.” She asked of her kinsmen, “Have any been born since the First Sundering with a perfect balance between the ancient energies?”
“None that I’ve heard
of, but then again, I had not left Desantiva until Seeker called me in Forenta.” Kailee and Citali shrugged their own ignorance.
“Can this help me find Thandar?” Terrence asked, desperate hope coloring his voice. “Please, Dzee. Tell me what I can do to help Storm. Please!”
The Totani all looked away from his anguish. “I don’t know if it can or not, Sumyr. It is not yours, else you would have become immortal like us. That it exists and you are holding it without harm is a paradox to us. I did not realize you had it. Whenever you touch it, I cannot see through you. Those brief times you have, I thought I was blinded because you were once…Tristan, and his memories intruding on yours dimmed my awareness of you.
“Then what good are any of you?” He demanded, clenching the crystal in his hand and stalking away.
“Terrence!” Skyfire scolded, reaching out toward the mage. He faltered a step, his injured leg giving way. Citali and Seeker caught him, keeping him on his feet.
Dzee shook her head. “No. He has every right to be angry. All we have done is burden him more.” Her shoulders slumped. “I have given him only more hardship as gratitude for his aid.”
Anibu frowned in concern. “Do not let his temper sting so deeply, Dzee. Give him time for his anger to cool and he will understand.” He turned to Seeker. “Get your brother to the healer to mend his injuries. We shall see to Kailee.” He put a hand on his human’s shoulder. “We Totani should take advantage of your presence here to teach you directly. We are not as restricted by the divine laws within our own realm as we are within yours.”
Star met Citali’s gaze with questioning hope. She smiled at his nod. “I would like that a lot. Thank you.”
He clasped her hand, kissing her knuckles. “No, my dear one. Thank you. And bring that Forentan of yours along. He might be sufficiently clever to learn something.”
Skyfire looked at his Totani in worry. “Kailee,” he began.