by Lori Wick
Knowing how correct he was, Shelby’s shoulders slumped in defeat. Looking utterly miserable, she stood in subdued silence, her bruised heart making her feel pain all over.
“I do wish, however,” Nikolai went on, “that I had spoken to you. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry I spoke to you that way,” Shelby said in return, her voice soft. “I’ll leave you to get back to your work.”
Shelby was at the door before he called her name. She stopped but didn’t turn. Nikolai went to her, slipping around her in the doorway in order to see her face, but she still refused to look at him. Even the lowering of her eyes didn’t hide the moisture there.
“Oh, Shelby,” Nikolai whispered. Without giving himself a chance to reconsider, he took her in his arms. “I’m so sorry.”
“I just wish I understood,” he heard her say before she tipped her head back to look up at him. Nikolai stepped back until his hands were on her shoulders. She looked so puzzled, but he didn’t have the words to explain it right now.
“Tell Murdock I made a mistake about your schedule and to do whatever you think is best, Shelby. All right?”
“Okay.”
Nikolai studied her face a moment. “Are you all right?” he finally asked.
“Yes. And I am sorry, Nick.”
“As am I. We’ll forget it, okay?”
Shelby nodded, and he dropped his hands from her shoulders.
“You’re 24?” the prince said with a frown.” I thought you were 23.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“All right.”
Nikolai slipped back into his office, and Shelby went with Murdock, who had come to tell Nikolai that a call had come in. They met over her schedule for the next hour, a little longer than usual, and had things worked out by late morning. Shelby did leave some time open, thinking if she did get tired and the prince wanted to see her, she would need to be fresh.
The rest of the day was a blur of activity that lasted well past dark. That evening Shelby attended a birthday party by herself—the invitation had been for her alone—but her mind was almost constantly on her spouse. Nikolai was in the same boat and had gone to see a friend as soon as he finished his own dinner. He was there for one reason: to talk about his wife.
“I make such a mess of things, Ryan. It’s not as if I’ve never been married before, but I’m such a klutz around Shelby.”
“It’s not the same type of marriage, Nick. Surely you can see that. Stop expecting it to be the same.”
Nikolai only shook his head and told about what had happened that morning.
“But she seemed all right when you left her?” Ryan checked with him.
“As much as could be expected. I know she’s still somewhat frightened of me.”
“Why is she afraid of you?”
Nikolai told that story, and again his good friend listened quietly until the end.
“So what’s the plan at this point?” Ryan asked.
“Accountability. I’m here to ask you to check on me.”
“And what do you want me to ask?”
“If I’m talking to my wife. Not if I’ve asked Murdock about her, but if I’ve talked to her myself. I also want you to check with me about whether we’re doing things together. I’ve got things scheduled in such a way that it’s going to take some time to merge our calendars, but it’s time to start working on that.”
“And are you dreading this?”
“Yes,” Nikolai admitted. “She’s a very sweet woman, and she makes no demands on me, so it’s easy to forget she’s even there, but she’s not the woman I love. She is my wife, however, and I need to face that responsibility.”
Ryan looked at him for a moment before saying, “I’m proud of you, Nick.”
Nikolai shook his head. “I don’t think there’s anything to be proud of.”
“You’re wrong about that. You’re hurting and yet carrying on, and I don’t know how many men could do that.”
“I am hurting,” Nikolai admitted softly. “Some days I’m not even sure I believe Yvette is gone, yet I already have another wife. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced. I’d be ready to throw in the towel if it wasn’t for the woman herself.” Nikolai had been staring across the room but now looked at his friend. “It’s so easy to see people as less than they are, as less than people. Until our wedding day, Shelby Parker was just a name. It’s no longer possible to think that way. I see her, and I see the result of having her live at the palace. There’s no ignoring that this woman is in my life. Then there are times like this morning when she looks at me in confused vulnerability, and those are the times I no longer want to ignore her presence. Those are the times I finally see her as a person with feelings and needs and know that I have a job to do if I’m going to answer to God about the type of leader I’ve been in my home.”
Ryan smiled. “Like I said, Nick, I’m very proud of you.”
Nikolai left some time later, his heart encouraged. His parents were out of town, and for a time he’d felt at a complete loss as to whom he should counsel with. Talking to Ryan at this time had been like going to God for strength and encouragement, and Nikolai believed that God had used his friend. When he woke in the morning, the evening was still on his mind. He showered and dressed, hoping he hadn’t missed his wife for the day.
Her breakfast ignored, Shelby was buried in the newspaper when Nikolai walked into the kitchen. Fran smiled at him but didn’t speak, so Shelby had no idea that her husband had sat down across from her until his finger curled over the top of the paper and pulled it down just enough to peek at her.
“Good morning,” he said quietly.
“Good morning,” she returned, her face going pink when she realized she hadn’t even felt his presence. “I didn’t see you.” She folded the paper and set it aside.
“You must have been reading something interesting.”
“The cricket scores.”
“You follow cricket?”
Shelby nodded, now playing with the toast and melon slices on her plate. “My brother plays.”
“What school is he attending?”
“Milton West.”
“What day was your birthday?” Nikolai asked suddenly, not willing to beat around the bush any longer.
“Sunday.”
“What day shall we celebrate?”
“Oh, well, um, anytime I guess. Nikolai?”
“Yeah.”
“Were you around on Sunday, or were you busy?”
“I was here.”
Shelby sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t invite you home with me. My folks had some cake and gifts. I just didn’t think you would want to come. I’m sorry I didn’t check with you.”
“I understand why you didn’t, Shelby. We don’t see that much of each other.”
Shelby smiled at him, relieved that he understood. He had put his finger on it very well. It would have been like asking a stranger to help her celebrate.
“I think your parents still plan to have us over for dinner.”
“Yes, they do. They asked me on Sunday if I knew a good time, and I had to be honest and tell them I wasn’t sure.”
“Have them call Murdock. He has a finger on both our schedules.”
“I’ll do that.”
“So,” Nikolai said, coming back to the celebration. “What day should we go out?”
Shelby shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What type of celebration do you like—lunch, dinner, dressy or casual?”
Shelby’s head tilted in thought. “I have to dress up most days, so I guess I would go for casual, maybe something outside in the sunshine.” The words were no more out of her mouth than she thought she sounded presumptuous and blushed again. “But anything is fine,” she hurried to say. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re busy.”
“Leave it to me,” Nikolai said calmly, even though he recognized that he’d just seen through a small window into who she was. “I’
ll get back to you or have Murdock put something on the calendar for both of us.”
“Thank you.”
Nikolai checked his watch but surprised the princess by not rushing away. He asked Fran for some breakfast and sat across the table from Shelby to eat it.
“May I share some of this paper?”
“Certainly.”
The two ended up eating to the rustle of the newspaper and the sound of Fran working on pastry dough. Shelby was the first to leave the kitchen. Nikolai told her to have a good day, but other than standing out of courtesy, he stayed where he was. Shelby was gone before he set the paper aside and ate in thoughtful contemplation.
Nikolai hugged his mother when she met him in the foyer downstairs. She had called to tell him she was coming over with some papers. Nikolai had wanted to stretch his legs, so he left his office and waited for her in the spacious foyer that was the hallmark of each of the quadrants.
“How are you, dear?” Erica asked warmly as she looked up at him.
“I’m doing well. How are you and Father?”
“We had a great time at the lake—so peaceful. Do you have plans to go soon?”
“I don’t think so, but it sounds wonderful. You look tan and rested.”
Erica was opening her mouth to say that Nikolai did not look rested, but she glanced up and saw Shelby coming toward them.
“Oh, Shelby’s on her way.”
Nikolai turned and froze. Coming toward him was his wife, but unlike he’d ever seen her. She had cut her hair off to well above her shoulders and dyed it black. If a slight breeze had come down the hall, it would have been enough to push Nikolai over.
All this time I’ve never told her how pretty her hair is, and now she’s dyed it.
“Shelby,” Erica called and then greeted her with a hug, “you must be off to Bible study.”
The rest of their conversation was lost on Nikolai. Now that Shelby was very close, he suspected she was wearing a wig, but all he could do was stare at his wife and then at his mother, who was acting as though everything was normal.
“I’d better go,” Shelby’s voice cut back through his trance. “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye,” Erica said warmly. Nikolai managed only a wave.
“What is it, Nicky?” Erica asked when she saw her son’s face.
“How did you know she was going to Bible study?”
“The wig.”
“She wears a wig to Bible study?”
Erica’s look was thoughtful and faintly disapproving.
“Shelby has Bible study with several ladies, all of whom have cancer and are in various stages of treatment. She wears a wig in empathy and comaraderie.”
Nikolai nodded, another glimmer of light coming through about his wife.
“Tell me, Nicky,” Erica asked softly, “are you working at all to get to know her?”
Nikolai did not immediately answer. He wanted to be completely honest, but things were changing so fast.
“It’s coming, Mother, but I won’t tell you I’m there. Just in the last week I’ve realized some things, and I’m working on them, but to date, I don’t know her at all.”
“Thank you for telling me, Nicky. I’ll keep praying, and you keep working at it.”
“I will. She’s pretty busy right now, and since I was deliberately trying to keep busy and away from her, we’re like ships in the night. It may take some weeks to fix that, but Murdock is aware of my desire to schedule more things together, and I’m working on my attitude.”
Erica looked at him in frank curiosity. “What has your attitude been, Nick? Can you tell me?”
Again Nikolai thought and said softly, “There is a lot of fear involved, and you’ll probably be surprised to find out that it’s not over loving again or finding out that Shelby is a wonderful person. It’s over the public’s reaction to Shelby and how popular she is. I can’t stand the thought that my precious Yvette would be found wanting in their eyes.”
Erica put her arms around her son and hugged him for all she was worth. Her eyes had flooded with tears on this report, so it took a moment for her to speak.
“There will always be vicious people, dear—always. But everyone who knew Yvette adored her. Everyone, Nicky. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Satan is just using this line of thought to distract you from building a marriage with a woman who could stand by your side and work with you to glorify God.”
“No one has actually said anything, so you’re probably right. I’m torturing myself for no reason.”
Erica took Nikolai’s hand in her own. “I loved Yvette and always will. I have mourned for her as though she were the child of my own body, but I will be honest with you, Nick. Shelby has been like a balm for that pain. My only daughter is your wife. I loved Yvette and I love Shelby. Both women have, and do, make it very easy. Give yourself time, Nick, as much time as you need, but don’t underestimate Shelby. I think you will be very surprised by what you find in the woman you’ve married.”
Nikolai bent and kissed his mother’s soft cheek. She always smelled sweet, and for a moment he was transported back to childhood and sitting in her lap, safe in the circle of her arms. He could honestly say that she had never misled him. She had held him often, through tears and laughter, and never once had she taken a joke so far that he mistrusted her.
Give yourself time, as much as you need, but don’t underestimate Shelby.
As much as he wanted to act on his mother’s words, Nikolai found himself asking God to work a miracle in his heart, certain beyond a doubt that this was the only answer.
Eight
“Murdock,” his wife said to him as soon as she spotted him in the dining room. “Did the princess get the food I wanted to send with her?”
“Of course,” Murdock answered quietly, thinking his wife was losing her senses; he would never forget such a thing.
“Good,” she said complacently, setting the dishes down for the prince.
“Where was Shelby taking food?” Nikolai asked from his place at the table.
“To the lake house, sir,” Murdock informed him. “She left this morning.”
Nikolai didn’t reply. He thanked Fran for dessert and went back to his eating. Fran left the dining room, not looking at her husband but knowing his eyes were on her. She exchanged a look with Arlanda as soon as she was behind the closed kitchen door, but neither woman dared to speak.
Another ten minutes passed before Murdock returned to the kitchen, and when he did, it did not escape his notice that his wife was too busy to speak to him or meet his eyes. She looked so adorable that he decided to drag her into the pantry for a scolding and a kiss, but the prince joined them.
“Murdock, I think I want you to ask my grandfather if we can take a week off from our Bible study.”
“All right, sir. Is there anything else I can do?”
“Yes. Let Ivan know that I wish to go to the lake house tonight after my meeting. Tell him to get some rest if he needs to.”
“I’ll take care of it, sir.”
Nikolai took himself from the room, and Murdock wasted no time in looking at his wife. The smile on her face was positively wicked.
“Francis Diane,” he began but stopped and laughed.
“I told you last night,” she said, coming close as she spoke, her eyes still sparkling. “Sometimes love needs a little help.” She went on tiptoe to kiss him, and it was some time before he remembered he had to contact the king regent for the prince.
Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Early Saturday morning Shelby sat in a lounge chair on the deck and read the verses from Psalm 100. S
he had been rushing for more than a week and taking little time with her Bible study. She had learned long ago that strolling through Scripture would not feed her. She must dig and mine for the truths God had for her and take time to find passages to refresh and remind her of the great God who loved her.
The whole point of coming to the lake was to rest and take it easy for a few days, away from appointments and the telephone. This had been easier said than done. So married to her routine had she become that Shelby had woken before six and not been able to sleep again. Hoping not to disturb the staff, she pulled on shorts and a baggy T-shirt from her suitcase and went to the deck that overlooked the lake so she could study her Bible. The plan worked for a time, but the busy week was catching up. Feeling the effects of the early hour, Shelby pulled a light blanket over her shoulder and closed her eyes to pray. She was still sound asleep when the prince found her almost an hour later.
Shelby woke slowly and frowned at the waters of Lake Alston before remembering where she was. She stretched like a cat, groaning in pleasure, as she removed the kinks from her back and neck.
Watching her from another padded chaise, Nikolai remained quiet until she spotted him. As he had come to expect, she blushed.
“Good morning,” he said, ignoring the blush and trying to dismiss the way she blinked at him and looked so uncertain. “Did you wake early?”
Shelby nodded. “It’s such a habit, I guess.” Her voice sounded croaky, and she swallowed. “Did you get in last night or this morning?”
“Last night. I didn’t wake you?”
“No. I didn’t hear a thing. Nikolai, did I take your bedroom?”
“At the lake house, everyone fends for himself.”
“But the bed is so large. Maybe you would be more comfortable in my room.”
“All the beds are large, and I’m fine, but thank you.”
While Shelby watched as his gaze went to the water. He really was remarkably handsome, just like his father, but Shelby gained so little warmth from him. She knew he was trying, but they had a long way to go.