by Lori Wick
Shelby looked to Nikolai.
“He’s doing an act with Great Grandma.”
“That’s fabulous!” Shelby told Peter. “I’ll bet you’re good.”
He smiled a little and ducked his head.
“Peter, the queen just gave me a schedule of all the games, and the magic act isn’t for a little while yet. Can you come and meet my parents and my brother?”
“They’re here?”
“Yes. They just arrived.”
“Do they live here?”
“No. They live in Henley, but they’re going to visit me for the weekend.”
“I get to stay too.”
“With the queen mother?”
Peter nodded.
“Did you bring some of your family with you?”
Nikolai held his breath on this question, but Peter just shook his head.
“They can’t come.”
“You’ll have to tell them everything you did. You can even have your picture taken and take it home.” Shelby saw the look on his face but went on as if everything was normal. “In fact, I hope you’ll have at least one picture taken with me.”
“We can do that?”
“Yes! You’ll want pictures of the magic act too.”
Peter nodded, a little dumbfounded by all she was offering.
“Come on. My folks are over here, and then you’ll need to meet the king and queen.”
Nikolai followed along, a smile on his face. It was good to know he wasn’t alone. There was something very vulnerable and yet appealing about Peter Owens. Nikolai didn’t know if he was to play a major part in the boy’s life or not, but it was good to see Shelby just as taken with him as he was.
Her family was no different. They all questioned Peter about his magic and delighted in the serious little way he explained himself. When Brice decided to get a little closer to where they were setting up the food tables and invited Peter to go with him, Shelby took an opportunity to speak to Nikolai.
“Who is he, Nick?” Her eyes searched his in appeal.
“He’s Toby’s neighbor. His mother deserted all of them when he and his sisters were very small. His father is in a wheelchair; he was injured at work. They have the money from the settlement, but he’s a very bitter man. Peter’s world is a very cheerless place.”
“How old are the sisters?”
“Both older. One is out of the house, and she’s even willing to take Peter to live with her, but the father won’t allow it.”
Shelby nodded, her face intent.
“Don’t let it ruin your day, Shelby. It’s a step ahead that Mr. Owens even allowed Peter to come for the weekend. Just pray with the rest of us.”
“I’ll do that.”
Ten minutes later the whistle blew and the games began. Shelby did pray for Peter whenever she saw him, and as she hoped would be the case, the magic act was the highlight of the morning.
Nikolai and Shelby opted for one of the blankets. They had been held up for a few minutes inside, and the bleachers and chairs were pretty full by the time they came out for the concert. The staff had spread thick quilts on the lawn, and the prince and princess sat down as unobtrusively as possible. They were toward the back of the crowd, and although the music had started, Nikolai wanted to speak to his wife while they had a semblance of privacy.
“Have you had a good day?” Nikolai whispered. His chest was close to Shelby’s back, one hand stretched out to support him. Shelby turned to find his face very close.
“Yes. How about you?”
“Very. It’s been fun to see the fair through your eyes.”
Shelby’s brow lowered. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“I probably take parts of this for granted, but you’ve never seen my grandmother perform or had the pleasure of cheering at the finish line. Your face reminds me how special this is.”
The face he spoke of went a bright pink within seconds. Nikolai studied it for several heartbeats.
“Is your skin as soft as it looks?”
“I don’t know,” Shelby said with a nervous laugh.
Nikolai took a breath and plunged into new territory. “Are you afraid for me to find out?”
Shelby’s own breath became labored. All she could do was nod in the affirmative.
As was becoming a wonderful practice for Nikolai, he leaned and kissed her cheek.
“Don’t give it another thought,” he said softly.
Shelby looked into his eyes, and Nikolai just smiled at her. She turned back to the singers up front. Their songs and voices were wonderful, but it took a little time to do as her husband directed. Not giving someone like Nikolai Markham another thought was nowhere near as easy as it sounded.
“How are you?” Daria asked her daughter right after lunch the next day. They had gone to services—Shelby had signed the sermon—and enjoyed Sunday dinner afterward. The tug-of-war was not scheduled for two more hours, so mother and daughter slipped into the park for a walk. They didn’t get far. The first bench looked very inviting, and they opted to sit.
“I think I’m all right. Is there some reason you asked?”
“Yes. Not because of you, but because of Nick. He’s different toward you.”
Shelby nodded. “I’m starting to notice that. What do you think it means?”
“That he’s starting to care, at the least.”
“What do you mean ‘at the least’?”
“Maybe he’s starting to love you, Shelby.”
Shelby shook her head. “I don’t think so, Mother. I really don’t.”
Daria didn’t try to argue with her but simply asked, “Are you ready for what’s ahead?”
Daughter looked at mother. “You mean intimacy?”
“That’s exactly what I mean.”
“Not right now,” Shelby answered honestly, “but then I’m not convinced we’re to that point.”
“Are you happy, Shelby?”
“Most of the time. You’ve always told me that joy is a choice, and I have that, but this job has its lonely moments.”
“So it still feels like a job to you?”
“Yes,” Shelby answered without hesitation. “I’m open for changes, but I still feel that my heart would be intact if I had to leave here. I’m not planning on leaving—I know I never will—but I wouldn’t be brokenhearted. That’s the type of thing I ask myself, just to see where I stand.”
“Since you don’t feel Nick loves you, it’s probably easier on your heart that you don’t love him.”
“I think you must be right, but I might be more willing to give of myself to my spouse if I did love him already.”
The words were no more out of Shelby’s mouth than she thought, Or am I afraid of being in love alone?
Not for the first time Daria Parker thought her daughter the most precious in the world. She was not a selfless, sinless individual, but she was in very good practice of putting others ahead of herself. Indeed, Daria remembered that the first verses Shelby learned after salvation were Philippians 2:3,4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
“May I ask you a very personal question, Mother?”
“Yes.”
“Is Fa ever interested in you, you know, in that way, and you’re not interested right then?”
Daria smiled. “Yes.”
Shelby nodded, her face getting warm.
“Don’t you want to ask me what I do?”
“I want to, yes, but I feel as though I’ve pried enough.”
“Go ahead and ask me.”
“What do you do?”
“If I’m tired, I simply tell him, and we plan another time. If not, I get interested as soon as I can. If I feel irritated, I see that as sin, confess it, and work to give myself to my husband selflessly. Not an easy task at times, but always worth it.”
Shelby nodded,
her face still a bit pink.
“I hope you know that he’s going to fall for you,” Daria said suddenly, still studying Shelby’s face.
Shelby only looked at her.
“Do you know how I know?”
“No.”
“Any man who’s delighted when his wife blushes will keep finding ways to make it happen. He’ll have to get closer and closer to do that.”
Shelby’s eyes closed.
“I frightened you, didn’t I?”
“Yes. For so many weeks he avoided me and even apologized for it. Now he’s getting into my world, and I’m scared to death.”
“Have you tried getting into his world?”
Shelby looked pained. “With his family, but not with him. I never want to upset him or mention Yvette, so I keep my mouth shut and hope he’ll talk.”
“Does he?”
“No. He only asks about me.”
“You’re going to have to ask some questions, dear. I don’t know how else you can show him you care.”
“Just the thought makes my heart feel like a stone in my chest.”
“You’ll find a way,” Daria spoke with confidence.
Shelby hugged her mother. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“Anytime,” Daria said, meaning it with all her heart.
The marvelous fun of the tug-of-war, the early dinner Sunday evening, and the awards ceremony on Monday, all lingered in Shelby’s thoughts for the rest of the week, but her husband had been correct. All too soon she found herself at the Palace Fair, which was set up under huge tents by the river, and working hard to do her part.
“Now, Toby,” she said sternly to the man whose intervention had brought her to this place, “I’ve handed out tickets and helped with the pony rides. I want a real job this time.”
“The others have been pretend?” he teased her.
“You know what I mean. I want to work hard and feel that I contributed. I almost wonder if Nikolai came and told you to take it easy on me.”
“Actually it was the king; Nikolai was right behind him.”
Shelby’s mouth swung open. “Are you serious?”
Toby grinned as he nodded, and Shelby’s eyes narrowed.
“I won’t need you to give me a job; I’ll find one of my own.”
“Now, Shelby—” Toby began.
“I mean it,” she said sternly. “If anyone wants to know where I am, I’m working!”
Toby opened his mouth, but she’d already turned away. He moved to follow her, intent on seeing where she went, but he lost sight of her when another worker interrupted him. By the time he looked for her again, she was nowhere to be seen.
“You missed a spot,” the young man working with Shelby teased, handing a pie pan back to her.
“Where?” She squinted as he pointed to a minuscule piece of food that Shelby flicked off with her finger.
Seventeen-year-old Luke Grant, one of the queen’s nephews, grinned unrepentantly at her.
“You’re pickier than an old woman, Luke.”
“Well, we can’t put these pans back unless they’re clean.”
Shelby made a face at him.
The princess and Luke were working in the pots-and-pans tent. Huge tubs of hot, soapy water had been set up, and they were taking turns washing and drying the pots, and emptying and refilling the tubs with clean soap and rinse water. Shelby’s back was screaming at her, and her arms were starting to feel like wet noodles, but doggedly she kept on. She had wanted a job and found one. Luke’s older brother Andrew had been on dish detail with them, but he had been needed elsewhere.
The Palace Fair was set up differently than the King’s Fair: This fair was less scheduled. The palace staff and their families were able to eat all day long. For this reason the pots and pans never stopped. Some weren’t so large, like the pie pans, but the boilers they used for the corn and hot dogs were huge. Nevertheless, she did not complain.
The day was wearing on when Andrew came back with food for them and they took a few minutes to eat. Shelby had just started on another tubful of large pots when Nikolai found her.
“I wondered where you’d gone,” he said mildly, reaching for the pot she was trying to hand to Luke.
“I can do this,” she told him.
“I can see that,” he responded, his voice again deceptively mild. Her face showed that she was tired, and her arms shook as she lifted the pot. No one had meant to baby her, but he could see that she’d misunderstood Toby’s words. What his father had asked of Toby was that Shelby be in a place of high visibility. The children all loved her, and so did the staff members from all four quadrants. In the pots-and-pans tent she hadn’t seen anyone but Luke and Andrew all day.
The prince had been evading the question as to her whereabouts for hours. It didn’t look good to have him shrug in ignorance. The staff was supposed to be taking the day off. If they thought the princess was missing, it would have put some in a state of anxiety. “Oh, she’s working hard around here somewhere” had been his reply, but all the time he had wondered where she could be.
“I’ll help you dry, Luke,” Nikolai offered, picking up a towel.
“Actually,” Luke responded, setting his down, “it’s my turn to wash.”
“Okay,” Shelby said, telling herself not to look at Nikolai. If he was too kind to her right now, or for that matter scolded her, she was going to overreact. She was getting tired, and there was nothing like fatigue in Shelby to bring on the tears. She did notice that Nikolai was taking the largest pots to dry. She should have ignored it, but she didn’t.
“Have you been working hard all day?” she asked.
“I think I have, yes.”
“Then why do you take all the large pots? You must be just as tired as I am.”
Luke turned completely away from the soapy water to watch this conversation. He loved his older cousin but never missed an opportunity to tease him.
“Well,” Nikolai began, his gaze taking in both his wife and cousin, thinking anything he might say to his wife right now would be taken wrong. “I’m just trying to be chivalrous,” he blurted, thinking he’d had a moment of genius.
Shelby did not look convinced.
“I can do this,” she repeated.
Nikolai felt it was safe to nod. Even that got him frowned at. He looked over to find Luke grinning at him and had all he could do not to laugh. He was still working steadily when Shelby picked up a stack of pie pans and took them to the clean table.
“Has she been in here all day?” Nikolai whispered.
“Since about ten this morning.”
Shelby was on her way back, so Nikolai gave a surreptitious glance at his watch, glad to see they had less than an hour to go. The fair ended in ten minutes, and cleanup never took that long.
“Did you two get some dinner?” he asked conversationally.
“Andy brought us some.” This came from Luke.
“It was delicious,” Shelby added. “Who did the cooking for dinner?”
“I think Luke’s parents were in that tent,” Nikolai filled in. “Toby and my grandfather helped as well.”
“Don’t forget the queen,” Luke added. “She always does dessert.”
It was the last word anyone said for a while. Fatigue was beginning to grind on all of them, and when the last of the mess was cleared away, everyone was out of words. The next day after church the royal family would get together, prepare their own meal, and talk about the fair; but for tonight, everyone headed home as soon as possible.
Because the staff was off, Nikolai and Shelby took her car. Nikolai didn’t even ask Shelby if she had a preference. He took the keys from her hand, saw her safely into the passenger’s seat, and drove them home. He let her off at the front door and took the car around.
By the time he got upstairs, she was nowhere to be seen. He knocked on her door but there was no answer. Risking embarrassment for both of them, Nikolai went in. The room was dim, but Shelby could still be se
en. She had lain face down on the bed, not bothering to remove anything or cover herself.
Nikolai approached. He put his hand on Shelby’s shoulder and even said her name, but she didn’t stir. Moving to the foot of the bed, he removed her shoes and socks. The moment he did this, she turned on her side, curled into a ball around the other pillow on the bed, and slept on. Nikolai took a blanket and covered her.
When the blanket was tucked close around her, Nikolai stood looking down at her. He was gaining small glimpses into her personality, but there was still so much that was unexplained. Even her need to work hard that day and not be given preferential treatment was a mystery to him. She was always a hard worker, and he had a hard time seeing why she’d been so tense.
After a time Nikolai used the door that joined their rooms, slipping quietly away to let her sleep. Long after he’d showered and climbed into bed, he could still see her in his mind, curled peacefully around that pillow, and he wished she’d been holding him instead.
Fourteen
A week after the Palace Fair, Shelby stood alone, licked her lips, and rubbed her sweating palms together. She hadn’t been invited to this park, but she was here. Nikolai had been asked by Ryan to participate in a pickup game of field hockey. Nikolai had made a point of telling Shelby where he was going but didn’t invite her. She had sat for a long time after he left, trying to figure out if he wanted her to join him or not. In the end she had opted to go. Now her eyes scanned the field at the city park, looking for signs that other wives had come along and quite unaware that she had been spotted.
“Well now,” Ryan said to Nikolai from their place on the sidelines. “Did you just say you weren’t sure how it was going?”
“Yes.”
“If red hair is any indication, I think things might be looking up.”
Nikolai followed Ryan’s gaze across the field and smiled. Shelby was making her way slowly toward the field. She looked lost and uncertain, even when she spotted Nikolai approaching.
“Nikolai, you can tell me if I shouldn’t have come and I’ll go right home.”