by Lori Wick
“I’m glad you did.”
Peter reached up to brush his too-long hair from his brow and continued to study the prince.
“Where is Toby?”
“He went to see the princess. He said she got hurt pretty bad.”
“A truck hit the car” was all Nikolai said. He didn’t want to go into details with this little boy.
“Did she almost die?”
“Well, she lost a lot of blood. And she’ll be very weak for a while.”
Peter nodded, his eyes dropping to his shoes.
“I need to tell you, Peter, that I would have been very sad if my wife had died, but Shelby believes as I do, that Christ died for her sins, so I know she would have been with Him.”
“You mean in heaven?”
“Yes. Like we’ve talked about before.”
“I was gonna ask you about that sometime,” Peter said, his eyes on his shoes. “Not today, but sometime.”
“Ask me what?”
He gestured with his hands, looking a little embarrassed. “You know, that stuff I didn’t want to believe before, about God’s Son and all that.”
Nikolai tipped his head as he thought. “It’s interesting that you should ask me about it here. After I understood my need to be saved, I prayed with my grandfather in a hospital room like this one. I was just a little younger than you are right now.”
Peter licked his lips. “What did you say to God?”
“I told Him I believed that His Son died for my sins. I told Him I needed to be saved. And then I asked Him to come inside of me to live. God will do that, by the way—place His Spirit right inside of us when we accept His gift of salvation. And that’s what He did for me, because He could see into my heart and knew that I believed that only His Son could save me.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to say that to God,” the child admitted.
“I’m glad you’re thinking it over, Peter,” the prince surprised him by saying. “It’s a big commitment. Not something to be taken lightly, if you know what I mean.”
“I figured as much. My sister was surprised when I tried to tell her, so I knew it must be pretty big.”
“Did she make you feel that you couldn’t?”
“No. She just didn’t understand why I needed to.”
Nikolai smiled. “Well, you can understand how she feels, can’t you, Peter?”
Peter’s brow lowered in confusion.
“The last time we talked, you pretty much said that it was a foolish thing to believe.”
“I guess I did, but I’ve been thinking more.”
“What have you been thinking?”
“That it would be nice to have Someone to talk to—like you said before—even when I’m alone or when I’m scared.”
“It is nice, Peter—very nice. I love knowing God loves me and will never leave me. God doesn’t make life perfect for those who trust in Him, but He does promise to always be with us.”
The interest moved out of Peter’s eyes, or was it panic that replaced the yearning?
“What do you think it is, Peter, that stops you from wanting Christ to save you and live inside of you?”
“I don’t know,” Peter said distantly, and again Nikolai felt the door had closed. “I need to go see Princess Shelby,” Nikolai’s visitor added.
“All right. I’ll come with you. But before we go, Peter, remember one thing: You can always talk to me about this, and you can always go to Toby.”
Peter nodded and even smiled a little before they left the room and started down the hall.
“Thank you for the flowers, Toby.”
“You’re welcome,” Toby said sincerely, but his eyes were sad. “Rafe told me about the baby, Shelby. I’m sorry.”
Shelby took a deep breath. “Thank you, Toby. I’ll admit that for a little while there I thought you had picked the wrong princess, but I’m doing better now.”
Toby took her hand. “I’m glad to hear it, Shelby, because there wasn’t anyone else more perfect for the job.”
“You’re too kind.”
Toby smiled. “Is that what you call it? I call the whole business a rescue from God alone.”
“Who needed to be rescued?” Shelby asked, her brow lowered in puzzlement. Before the king’s closest friend could answer, they were joined by Peter and Nikolai.
“Hello, Peter.” Shelby smiled at the boy but saw the shock on his face. For the first time she wondered what she looked like. “How are you?” she tried again, telling herself not to worry about her appearance.
“All right,” he answered, but his voice was unusually subdued.
“I’m fine,” Shelby felt the need to tell him. “I got bumped and bruised,” she added, searching for the right words. “But I’m going home in just a few days.”
Peter nodded but still didn’t appear to be pleased. The adults filled in a little on the conversation, but Toby wasn’t long in seeing that Peter needed to leave. They said their goodbyes about ten minutes later, leaving the prince and princess alone.
“Was he that nervous with you, Nick?” Shelby asked.
“Right as he walked in, yes, but then we had a pretty good talk. I think he wanted to come in here because I was asking him things that he didn’t know how to answer. He gave something away for the first time, something about his sister. I think that might be some of what’s going on right now.”
“Maybe I should visit her sometime.”
“That’s not a bad idea.”
“By the way, do I look horrendous?”
“I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say horrendous, but you’re a mess.”
Shelby’s mouth opened on his bluntness, and Nikolai smiled at her.
“Maybe you had better get me a mirror.”
Nikolai shrugged. “I’ll just tell you—you have a gash over your left brow, and your eyes are so black you look like a racoon.”
Shelby stared at him in disbelief and then saw the teasing glint in his eye. “You obviously studied tact in school, Nick. You should be teaching classes.”
Nikolai got a good laugh over her response while Shelby continued to study him.
“I think I’ll take that mirror anyway, if you don’t mind.”
It took some doing, but Nikolai came up with a hand mirror.
“I do look like a racoon,” Shelby agreed, studying her reflection with chagrin. “I didn’t believe you.” She looked again at the glass. “I don’t know if my pride can take this. Maybe I won’t have any more visitors.”
“Actually, your visitors are limited anyway.”
“Oh, how come?”
“Doctor’s orders. He’s not overly worried about you, but he’s not taking any chances either. I know of several people who have been turned away.”
Shelby nodded. She had worked in a hospital long enough to know the ropes. “How are you feeling, by the way?”
“Just a little sore.”
“Are you going home today?”
Nikolai drew close before he answered. “Yes. It’s not fair to take a bed and the staff’s time when all the X-rays and tests have come back fine.”
Shelby sighed. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
Nikolai leaned to kiss her. “I am too. Did you eat something yet?”
“No. I wasn’t too hungry.”
“How about now?”
“I could go for a Fairy Cake,” Shelby said.
He surprised her by saying, “I’ll see what I can do.”
Shelby was still smiling when he left but was surprised when he didn’t return. Indeed, her next visitor was Brice.
“Brice!”
“Hey, Red.”
“Who called you?”
“Fa. I would have been here earlier, but I got word that you had a certain craving.”
Shelby blinked at him and then laughed when a box of Fairy Cakes came from under his shirt. Just moments later Shelby had stuffed one into her mouth and was asking for milk. Brice managed to produce that as well,
and Shelby’s mouth was full again by the time the doctor walked in. Dr. Finley was a man she’d known for years. He felt free to tease her.
“That’s a great breakfast,” he said dryly.
Shelby grinned unrepentantly. “Want one?”
He appeared to consider it. “I think I do.”
They didn’t get down to talking about how Shelby was doing for several more minutes, but the prognosis was good. Yes, she had lost a lot of blood but was very strong physically. If she continued to improve, she would probably be home in about two days.
Erica’s hug was delightfully long and warm when she came to see Shelby the second day she was home. It was a Sunday morning, and she had been assigned “princess sitting” duties by Nikolai. Shelby had showered and dressed but gone back to bed in Nikolai’s room. Erica pulled a chair close to the mattress and then propped her feet up.
“Thank you for volunteering to come,” Shelby said to her mother-in-law. “Much as he would have disagreed, Nick needed to get out.”
Erica nodded. “Nikolai went with Rafe, who’ll see to it that he stays out for a time. Rafe even planned to talk him into having lunch. Because I’m with you, I hope he’ll agree.”
“It was my turn to sign in church today.” Shelby’s voice was wistful.
“I’m sure they’ll miss you, but everyone understands. Rafe is going to bring us the tape of the service this morning too.”
Shelby nodded and then fell silent.
“How are you doing inside, Shelby?”
“Pretty well. I still regret not talking to Nicky, but I’m not beating myself up over it. I do think about the baby, though. A lot.”
Erica nodded. “We’ve never talked about my efforts to have a baby, have we?”
“Nick has mentioned it, but I don’t think you and I have discussed it.”
Erica shook her head. “It was such a painful time. I learned a great deal about God’s sovereignty during those years, but for a long time I thought I was defective.”
“Did you really?”
“Yes. My mother had had my sisters and me, and before her, Grandma had given birth to my father and all his siblings, and I felt I’d dropped the ball. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant at all, Shelby, it would have been easier. Then Rafe could have shared the load. But to get pregnant time after time and then lose the baby was unbelievable pain and loss.”
“Did they ever figure out why?”
“No. I had five miscarriages in three years. I was put to bed as soon as we knew I was pregnant for the last two pregnancies, and that finally worked. Nikolai was born to us. You can’t believe our joy.”
“I think maybe I can.”
Erica smiled. “Of course you can. I wasn’t thinking when I said that.”
“What if we can’t have another?” Shelby voiced her thoughts.
“God will give you the strength, but unless there’s something the doctors missed, Shelby, God will have another child for you. Your miscarriage was clearly a result of the accident. As I said, they never did figure mine out.”
“I keep telling myself the same thing, but I do have my doubts.”
“This is the real testing ground, isn’t it, Shelby? When life is going along easily, when we’re in harmony with God and our mate, when no one we love has died or is hurting—those are the times when life can seem grand. Some people would say that if that’s the criteria, life is never grand. Those people especially, and eventually all of us, have had to learn to praise God when they hurt or when life changes and becomes confusing. It seems to me that you are in just such a time. It even seems to me that you’ve been in such a time since you married my son ten months ago.”
Shelby stared at her, so many things rushing through her mind. This had been a time of growth for her. She was learning to trust as she never had before. Indeed, life had seemed ideal before the king and queen sat across from her in her parents’ living room.
“I never thought about it that way before. Sometimes all I can see are the mistakes I’ve made.”
“That’s just what Satan wants, but deep inside you know better, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she said softly. “I do hurt over the baby and over the way I treated Nick, but I’m not destroyed. I think that must be God’s work in my life.”
Erica picked up Shelby’s hand. “I’m sure of it, dear. I won’t tell you I didn’t experience some anger when you didn’t let us all share in the baby, but you’re a different person now than when you married Nicky. I didn’t think I could love you any more than when we first met, but I’ve learned otherwise. You are so precious to me, Shelby. You’re the daughter I couldn’t have. Even if I had tried to dream you, you’re the daughter my imagination wouldn’t have done justice to.”
Her comments made Shelby feel cherished and just a little tired. It was on Shelby’s heart to tell the queen what she meant to her, but she didn’t have the emotional energy. Instead Shelby thanked Erica and asked her to share about growing up in the palace and with her sisters. Somewhere in the story, she fell asleep. Erica left her to rest, moving to a seat by the window with her Bible and a study book. This was the way Nikolai found them almost two hours later.
“How was lunch?” Erica asked as soon as he took a seat.
“It was good. We just went to the grill. Father is probably close behind me, but Wallace had some news for him when we got in.” Nikolai glanced toward his wife, even though he’d just been next to the bed checking on her. “How did she do?”
“Fine. We talked for a while, but she’s been sleeping for some time now.”
“Did she complain of any discomfort or pain?”
“Not beyond saying she was sore and wobbling a little on the way to the bathroom.”
Nikolai nodded and looked back toward the bed. The room was huge, and their voices were hushed. Shelby usually slept soundly, but he noticed that she was beginning to stir.
“Feel free to head home,” Nikolai offered. “I plan to be here the rest of the day.”
Erica nodded. “Shelby said you needed to get out.”
Nikolai smiled. “I appreciate her concern, but I’m not feeling a hundred percent either. I’ll probably crawl in beside her and sleep for a while myself.”
“In that case, I’ll be off.”
Erica kissed Nikolai on her way out. Rafe met her in the hall, but as soon as she explained Nikolai’s intent, he went home with his wife. Had Nikolai known, he would have been thankful for his father’s choice; the prince was asleep beside his wife just ten minutes later.
Shelby made it to the bottom of the stairs, a triumphant smile on her face. She was headed to Nikolai’s office to surprise him. She had yet to venture from the bedrooms or the green parlor since she had come home six days earlier, but this morning she felt strong enough to make the effort. It was very deflating to find Nikolai’s office empty. She was certain that’s where he said he would be.
With no more energy to search further, Shelby took a seat in her husband’s desk chair. It was too large for her but still comfortable, and for a while she just sat and stared out the window into the courtyard. She thought a walk in the sunshine might be nice but couldn’t summon the energy.
“I found her.”
Shelby opened her eyes to the sound of her husband’s voice. He was speaking on the phone.
“In the office,” he continued. “I’ll let you know if I need you.”
“I came down to surprise you and you weren’t here,” Shelby told him as soon as the phone was back in its cradle.
“Well, you surprised the staff instead.” His voice was mild.
“How did I do that?”
Nikolai sat on the edge of the desk, his legs close to the desk chair. “Arlanda couldn’t find you. They were in something of a panic.”
“Oh, no. I didn’t see anyone when I came down, but I didn’t think anything of it.”
Nikolai nodded but didn’t speak. He was watching her so closely that Shelby began to feel uncomfortable.
>
“Are you angry at me?”
“Not at all. I’m trying to gauge if you’re strong enough to walk to the main salon.”
Shelby’s brows rose. “What’s in the salon?”
Nikolai didn’t answer, but Shelby would not let the subject drop. With a decisive move, she pushed from the chair and headed out the door. Nikolai came after her, still debating whether he should have said anything.
“Oh, my” was all Shelby could manage as she opened the double doors and stared.
The main salon in the north quadrant was ablaze with flowers. Every conceivable blossom, size, and variety was present.
“It seems that the people of Pendaran heard of your accident and wanted you to know they cared.”
Shelby turned to look at him, her mouth slightly agape.
“The staff is saying that we haven’t had this many flowers at the palace since my mother was finally able to give birth to a child.” The prince smiled. “I’ve been upstaged.”
“Oh, Nicky,” Shelby whispered. “Do you ever feel completely unworthy?”
“Often.”
Shelby shook her head. “I haven’t been such a great princess, Nick. If only they knew.”
“If they knew everything I did, the flowers would never stop coming,” he said gently.
It was too much for Shelby. Tears filled her eyes.
“This is why you asked if I was strong enough.”
Nikolai didn’t need to reply. He lifted her in his arms, Shelby’s arms going around his neck, as he stamped down his alarm over how slight she felt and bore her gently back to bed. Arlanda was hovering with hot tea and blankets, but Shelby was almost asleep again.
“I’m so tired of tired, Nicky.” The words came out on a sigh.
Nikolai only smiled as her face turned into the pillow and she fell asleep. It was amazing to him what he felt for this woman. The protectiveness inside of him was fierce, but the love was of the gentlest kind. It also made him patient—a good thing right now. If the sight of flowers made her cry, he feared what the declaration of his feelings might do.
“There’s been a change in plans,” Nikolai mentioned to Shelby about three weeks later. “We’ll be leaving for the lake in about two hours.”