“In the trash. I tossed them. They were ruined.” He scratched the stubble along his jawline, stared at the floor, eyes unfocused. “Your father fucks boys?”
“You threw away my clothes?”
“Yes.” He fisted his hands at his sides, the muscles in his arms flexing, twisting in short spasms. “He’s hurting kids?”
I didn’t want to talk about my father. “You do realize I have nothing to wear, right? Everything I own was in Jonas’s trailer, including my ID, my bank card. Everything. And you have to know I can never step foot in that place again; I can’t. Not after—”
“Tuuli.”
I didn’t want to think about the blood. The dead girls. “You said I have to leave this morning. How am I supposed to do that with no clothes?”
“Tuuli.”
“Go get them, Tito!” I yelled, surprising myself, but continuing regardless. “Go get my damn clothes out of the garbage. I know you’re mad at me, I know I’m a freak, but at least let me leave here with a little dignity.”
“Bunny.” He breached my personal space, his feet caging mine, his arms wrapping around me. He slid one big hand up my spine and gripped the back of my head, smashing my face against his chest. “Just shut up and give me a fuckin’ second here.”
His chest rose and fell, and I wanted nothing more than to melt against all that skin. He was heat, and strength, and the opposite of every man I’d ever known. He held me like I was precious, not a possession. Delicate, but not weak. His hold was tight, but not tense. He shivered like he needed the connection more than I did.
His voice came at a low rumble. “I don’t want you to leave. Fuck. You’re not leaving. You’re right. I was angry. I’m still angry. You dropped one helluva bomb last night. I need time to process. We’ll figure this out.”
“I never meant to hurt anyone. You have to believe me. I had to get away. I just wanted out.”
He sighed, leaning on me as much as I leaned on him. “I don’t know what to believe. But I promise you’re out. You’re never going back there.”
I closed my eyes and let Tito soothe me with his muscles, and words, and heartbeat. I started to relax, my pulse slowing to a healthy rhythm, my thoughts quieting.
Until Tito said, “You’re never going back there because I’m going to kill Jeremy Carver and burn that church to the ground.”
HARD TO SAY WHEN I turned the corner. Could’ve been the second I believed Tuuli was missing. Or when I found her driver’s license inside the trailer bloodbath, or maybe it was the moment she broke down in Jonas’s wrecked truck and beat the ever-loving shit out of me.
Most likely, I had gone soft the moment she outed her father as an abuser. No doubt, the past nights I had spent holding her in my arms and helping her breathe through the aftershocks of her nightmares had something to do with my change of heart.
Hell. Could’ve been the bravery she showed two days ago when she’d called Tango, Slade, Tucker, and Aida over to my place and stood before them, profusely apologetic, confessing everything about her family and her reason for coming to work at The Stop. Or the next morning, the way she bit her quivering lip to hold tears at bay until after she’d given her statement to Officer Caldwell about the murders.
The catalyst to my revelation wasn’t as important as the fact that somehow, at some point, for whatever reason, I had turned a corner. Fuck me and my lone soldier, live for me, die for me bullshit. I wanted to be the guy Tuuli saved herself for.
No other man would lay hands on her. Not while I was living and breathing.
I headed to the kitchen, barefoot and bare-chested, still wet from my shower, and sated for the time being because, yes, I’d jerked off again.
Tuuli stood at the counter. I slowed my approach, appreciating the scene, palms sweaty, throat dry as sandpaper, ticker pounding an atomic countdown in my chest.
Tuuli flipped through the morning paper, left heel bouncing erratically over the top of her right foot. The shirt she wore, although five sizes too large, rode up the back of her thighs, revealing too much naked real estate. I knew there was nothing under that lucky shirt of mine. Her only bra was hanging on my towel rack, and I’d thrown away her only pair of panties the night of her attack. She hadn’t asked to borrow any of my boxers. So, I knew, if I lifted the hem of that shirt, I’d find nothing but sweet, smooth, creamy skin.
I could’ve stood for hours, watching her read, watching her fidget and wiggle. I was a mindless, feral dog, panting over the piece of tail wagging in my face.
I could’ve watched forever. Instead, I dragged my ass to the fridge, popped the lid off the OJ, and chugged.
“When do you move into your new place?” she asked my back.
Sweet Jesus, that voice. I took another swig to lubricate my vocal cords before turning around to answer. “We close next week.”
“Oh,” she mumbled, chewing on her bottom lip. Tuuli looked down at the shirt she wore and smoothed her hand over her torso. “I need clothes, so I can get out of your hair.”
That constant low rumble in my chest rolled into a full-blown earthquake. She couldn’t leave. “You’ve got nowhere to go.”
“I’ll figure something out.”
Didn’t she get it? I would not lose her again. I scratched the top of my head, then fisted my hair to keep from screaming. Breathe in. One, two, three. Out. One, two, three. “I’ve figured it out for you. Stay here.”
“What? No. That’s not a good idea, Tito. I’ve imposed too much already. I need to find a job. A place to live…” she rambled on about her clothes that had been left behind in Jonas’s trailer and affordable apartments on the wrong side of town.
The more she talked about leaving, the larger the dent in my chest grew. I hadn’t touched her in the ten days she’d been with me, except to quiet her demons, but for the time being I needed to quiet mine. I decimated the space between us and claimed her mouth, holding her tight, absorbing her trembles, her heat, the press of her soft tits against my chest.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Couldn’t she see we needed each other?
Tuuli didn’t fight like I’d expected, and damn, her compliance drove me insane. I held her boneless body, kissing, smelling, tasting, just fucking connecting. I bent low, cupping her ass, and hoisted her onto the counter. When her legs cinched around my waist, a moan escaped my lips.
There was no going back. I wanted her. I wanted the connection. The buzz, the high, the fear, the ache, the uncertainty, the promise of things to come. I needed to keep her close. Needed to protect her from all the shit the world spewed. Needed to feed off the good she made me feel.
Tuuli broke the kiss, pulling away with parted lips and lowered lids. Breathless, she whispered, “I can’t stay here, Tito. Not after everything—”
“Don’t leave.” I fisted the hair at her nape and pressed my forehead to hers. God, I wanted to crawl inside her skin. “I can’t let you go.”
She jerked back like she’d been slapped. I captured her lips again, then mumbled into her mouth, “I’m fuckin’ keeping you.”
“But—”
“I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you. When you’re ready, let it be me. Please, let me be the only one.”
She grabbed my shoulders and pushed, holding me at arms’ length, glassy eyes aimed at my chest.
I tapped her chin. “Eyes up here.”
She didn’t lift them. I didn’t push. I was throwing enough at her already.
I heard the gears grinding in her pretty little head. She wanted to speak. She wanted to argue. Plead her case.
I couldn’t let her talk her way out of us.
I dipped, capturing that worried gaze. “I don’t know what this is, or what the fuck we’re gonna call this thing between us. But we’re something, you and me. We’re something I can’t turn my back on. You know it. I know it. I’m not letting you disappear again.”
“But you said—” She dropped her face into her hands and groaned. Her shoulders rose and fel
l before she looked at me again. “We agreed to be friends. How is living under the same roof going to make things any easier for us?”
“Jesus Christ. Did you hear what I just said to you?” I backed away, fisting my hair. “I’m so fuckin’ over the friend stage. I’ve never so much as taken a woman on a date, let alone have one spend the night. Now, I’m begging you to shack up. Do I look like the kind of fucker who begs? I don’t know what to call this. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. All I know is that I’d never been so scared in my life as I was when you disappeared. I’ve never been so goddamned angry at someone for lying to me. I’ve never let a woman get under my skin the way you have, and Bunny…” I rubbed the ache in my chest. “You’re burrowed deep. Scratchy and uncomfortable as it is, I want to keep you there.”
“You want to be more than friends?”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“More than friends…without sex?”
“Sounds ridiculous, I know. But yes. No sex until you’re ready.”
“You would do that…” Her eyes liquefied and she choked on her words. “For me?”
I swallowed the profanity that barreled up my throat. I didn’t understand the pull between us. Vulnerability was giving me indigestion. There was no doubt my right hand and I were about to set out on an epic getting-to-know-ya adventure because I wasn’t the kind of guy to push any woman into sex, especially Tuuli. I wouldn’t bring that issue to the ring.
Tuuli wasn’t a battle I wanted to win. She was the prize. I was only fighting myself.
“Only for you.”
She let out a sob, then reined in her emotions, swiping the moisture from her face. Drawing in a slow, steady breath, she hopped off the counter. “I have to show you something. After that. If you still want me, you can ask again. Okay?”
“Okay.” Tito nodded, watching me back away, worry pinching his brows.
Every nerve in my body exploded under rapid fire.
“You need to understand how crazy my family is.” I crossed my arms and grabbed the hem of the tee. “You think you want to be with me?” I pulled the shirt over my head. “You need to know what you’re getting into.” With a sigh, I turned my back to him, pulling my long hair over my shoulder, exposing my bare skin. I stood naked, shivering, hugging myself, allowing Tito time to study my tattoo. The hate symbol. A bold font number fourteen, black and ugly, permanently etched on my skin. Underneath the number, in a smaller font, a 100% symbol.
His breath caught. I didn’t look over my shoulder, certain I’d find disgust on his face.
“I was eleven when I started my period. In The Brotherhood’s eyes, the day a girl starts her period, she becomes a woman. She’s fair game. To celebrate, Jonas and Erik held me down, while my dad and Erik’s father branded me.”
I choked on the bile rising in my throat and pinched my eyes shut, trying to block out the memory.
“Fuckin’ purist breeders,” he mumbled. “You didn’t want this, and they gave it to you anyway.”
“You know what it means?” I asked, dropping my head in shame.
“I’ve seen it before. I know what the mark represents.” The heat of his breaths hit my neck. “The number fourteen symbolizes the fourteen words—We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children. The 100% represents the purity of the white race.”
“I’m prime breeding stock. I’m expected to consider it an honor if any member of The Brotherhood wants to use my body for any purpose. Erik has been my saving grace. He laid his claim on me when we were children. Sick as his obsession is, he protected me.”
“But he didn’t protect you. He let other men touch you.” His voice sounded pained.
I looked over my shoulder and found nothing but compassion in his expression. He lifted a finger to my shoulder and traced an X over the image.
My skin exploded in goosebumps. “Erik disappeared for two years. Nobody knew where, how long he’d be gone, or if he was ever coming back. I believed I had no choice when those boys wanted to be with me.”
I reached over my shoulder and dug my nails into the blemished skin. “I’ve spent the past nine years hiding. I never made friends in school. I was afraid they would find out who my father was. Who I was.”
Tito growled his disapproval over my shoulder, then pressed a kiss on the ugly numbers. “This mark does not define you.”
My entire body vibrated under that simple gesture.
He stepped around to my front, wrapped one arm around my waist, and lifted the other hand to my chest, laying it over my heart. “This defines you.” He kissed my forehead and tapped my temple with two fingers. “And all the beautiful, brilliant things you have going on in here define you. This tattoo doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
I melted against him, my breasts smashed between us, his naked flesh searing me, his words freeing me.
He walked backward, pulling me with him until his calves hit the back of the sofa. We fell into the cushions. I settled on his lap, my bare butt on his thighs, my knees hugging his hips.
I was naked but felt no shame. Exposed, but had never felt more protected. He didn’t look at my breasts, and I could tell he wanted to, but I loved that he was trying so hard to keep the exchange from becoming sexual, even though his arousal swelled between my legs. His eyes burned with need, his cheeks flushed.
“I want you, Tuuli. All of you. Please, stay here with me,” he urged, rubbing warm, calloused fingers up and down my bare back.
He wanted me. I would never understand why, but I would never doubt his sincerity. He’d taken care of me every day for the past two weeks. Every time I woke with nightmares, he’d crawled into bed, made me breathe through the panic attacks, then held me until I fell asleep again. He’d fed me when I couldn’t get out of bed, hiding from the world, from the voices, the images that haunted me. He could’ve turned his back the second he found out who I was, but he’d never left me alone, not once.
Yes, he was quiet and brooding. Yes, he was scary and terrifying. But I couldn’t deny that Tito Moretti was also a blessing. We were brought together for reasons bigger than the both of us.
I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed, offering every ounce of gratitude, relief, and contrition I could pour into that hug. His arms tightened around me with equal fervor and didn’t loosen until I rolled my head to the side and kissed his neck.
“Thank you,” I mumbled against his warm skin.
The skin on skin was torture. Beautiful, bloody torture. “Thank you for what?”
“For not freaking. For not making me feel like a freak.” She sighed, curling tighter against me. “Thank you for not leaving me on the street when you found out who I was.”
God, she smelled like vanilla and sweet, naked skin. My entire body vibrated with need.
“I wish I had told you everything from the beginning. I was afraid and ashamed. I’ve wanted to be with you since the first day you came to the diner. You scared me. Terrified me, really. But there was something about the way you looked at me like you knew what was inside my head, like you recognized the mess. You looked at me like none of my ugliness would faze you because you’re indestructible.”
Indestructible? Not by a long shot. Brick by brick the girl in my arms was breaking me down. A crack here, a dent there, leaving my walls weak and vulnerable. I cupped those blushing cheeks, making sure her eyes were right where they needed to be. On me. “You get that I’m in this for the long haul, right?”
Her face crinkled. Her gaze dropped. But damn, when she recovered and lifted those blue beauties back to me with a nod, I couldn’t have been prouder.
When she whispered, “Please, don’t ever let me go,” something epic and painful happened in my chest, making my pulse race and my eyes blur. Part of me wanted to spill my guts, share my burdens, lighten my soul. Confess. But I feared my truths would break her, ending us before we began.
“Tito,” she murmured into my neck.
“Yeah?” I pulled a white strand of silk through my fingers.
“Make love to me.”
Jesus. H. Christ. Every muscle in my body tensed. My hard dick jerked in response. “But—”
She raised her head and pressed a finger over my lips. “I know what I said about waiting.” Her cheeks flushed and her gaze dropped to my chest. “That was mostly a lie because I didn’t want you to see my back, my mark. But I’ve wanted you from the beginning. You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted.”
“Bunny.” I dipped my head. “Look me in the eye when you ask me for things. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be ashamed. Please. I need those eyes.”
Sweet fucking Lord, when she lifted her burning gaze to mine and whispered, “Please. I need you,” I was done for. I captured her mouth, savoring the sweet softness of her lips.
When she broke the kiss and whispered, “Please,” I tucked my arms under her ass and rose from the couch, urging her legs around my waist. We hit the bedroom, I set her on her feet, and I took a long, greedy gander at her naked body.
Ethereal. Flawless.
A blinding beauty, rendering me speechless.
I couldn’t find my voice, which didn’t matter anyway because when I smiled, he sighed and stepped closer, dropping his mouth to mine, stealing my oxygen. He trembled, squeezing me tight, pinning my arms between us. We stayed that way for a long time, Tito holding me upright and in the perfect position to take what he needed. Only he was giving more than taking, offering his mouth, his body, his soul through that kiss.
When he broke away, he stared at me long and hard, eyes soft, lips parted. He brushed a thumb over my bottom lip and asked, “Is this real? Do I finally get to have you?” like I was a precious gift. Not trash. Not a tool, but a beautiful, magical gift. And I knew, no hesitation, no question, that Tito was the right man, the one I should have saved myself for.
My pulse beat violent and thunderous in my ears, the fire in my cheeks growing hotter with each boom, boom, boom.
I stood naked and exposed for excruciating moments, shivering, not from cold, but the raw emotion on Tito’s face. Or maybe I trembled from the adrenaline racing through my veins. Either way, I couldn’t wait for his body to follow through with the promise in his eyes.
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