I didn’t have the heart to tell him while he’d been asleep his arm had flung out and caught me on my tender, bruised cheek, causing me to cry out in pain. He’d been too entrenched in memories to waken right away. I’d scrambled away to avoid another swipe, only to find him mumbling garbled words, but flailing his arms. The sheets had been wound around him in an awkward mess, his face scrunched tight.
I don’t know what he’d been dreaming of, but it must have been major because it had sent him from my room and my life in the space of a few minutes.
Screaming out, I let loose a string of curses while ignoring my swollen jaw, pounding my fists into the sheets which still smelled of him.
Nothing seemed fair.
Moments later, my doorbell pealed out into the silence. I was tempted to ignore it, but a sliver of hope had me praying it may be Harley coming back to apologize and accept my help. Would he use the doorbell or simply barge in?
Throwing on my robe, knowing I looked like I’d been run over by a truck, I padded to the front door, failing to check the peephole before opening it.
Charlotte stood there looking horrified. As soon as she saw me she threw herself at me.
“Oh my God, Mac! I was so worried. I can’t believe you’re here.”
Her arms squeezed me tightly, causing me to wince. She pulled away. “I’m so sorry. I…”
Scanning my face and injuries and obvious tears, she shut the door and pulled me to the couch.
“Are you okay? What happened? Can I get you anything?”
So happy to see my friend in light of everything, I turned and wrapped my arms around her, bawling uncontrollably.
She patted my back, whispering, “Shh. It’s okay now. You’re home. I’m here for you.”
Thankful to have one person I could rely on, I let her hold me until I felt weak and drained.
Setting me back on the couch she said, “Don’t move. I’m getting coffee.”
Letting her fuss over me, I wiped at my face, my chest hollow. With Nick gone and now Harley, I needed Char.
When she returned with a steaming mug, I relished it and clung on as if it were a lifeline.
Scratching out a thanks, I asked, “You going in to work this afternoon?”
“Nah. I swapped a shift with Steph at the last minute when I got your message. I’m not due back until tomorrow at six—which means, you’re stuck with me for now. I’m taking you out of here for a bit. We can grab you a new cell and eat dinner at a park somewhere.”
When I began to open my mouth to refuse, she stopped me.
“It’s not up for debate. You’re not sitting around here thinking about what happened to you.”
Realizing she didn’t know about Harley’s abrupt departure, I swallowed and began.
“Harley’s gone.”
“Gone home? Was he here earlier?”
“Yeah, but I mean gone, gone. He’s not coming back.”
Placing her mug on the coffee table, she faced me fully. “What do you mean he’s gone for good? That man was out of his mind with worry when you were taken. He moved heaven and earth to get to you. How can he just leave?”
“As cliché as this sounds, I don’t think it’s me. I think it’s him. He’s struggling with his memories and has some serious PTSD. He doesn’t want to hurt me.”
“But he’s going to hurt you more by staying away.”
“I know. He doesn’t see it that way. We lay down earlier and dozed off. He had a nightmare. Probably about his time at war. He struck out at me unintentionally for the second time. I didn’t tell him, but I think he could see my wariness when he woke up.”
Shaking her head, and placing her hand on my arm, she offered, “He’s an ass if he lets you go. I’m sure he just needs some time to adjust. It must be scary to suddenly have twenty-something years of memories all flooding your brain at once. Not to mention being a hard-core soldier and reliving that shit.”
I knew she was right and I should cut him some slack, but she hadn’t seen the way he’d looked at me before he left.
Sipping my coffee helped pull me together a little. I didn’t feel like going anywhere looking the way I did, but perhaps Char was right. Getting on with things and not moping around might help.
“Oooh, great news too. Word has it we’re both getting permanent day shifts.” She brightened a lot.
That had me raise my eyebrows. “Permanent? How?”
“There’s been two day spots open up. I spoke to Chase and he thinks we’re shoe-ins. We’ve earned it, girl. Quite frankly, I’m over working the graveyard. I need to get a life. Get a man. Speaking of which…that hunk of a friend of Harley’s is mighty fine.” She flashed me a smile.
Glaring at her, I replied, “Trust me. He’s damaged goods too. You don’t want to go there.”
“I’m not talking long-term. I’m talking about having a little fun. Breaking the dry spell.”
I had to hand it to her. She could make me smile, regardless.
Rolling my eyes at her, I scoffed, “Whatever. Good luck with that. He doesn’t strike me as being interested in women at the moment.”
She swigged her coffee, smiling. “He doesn’t realize how charming I can be yet.” She batted her lashes in jest, easing the tension in the room.
“I seriously look like crap, Char. If we go anywhere it will have to be where there aren’t many people.”
“Psssht. Please. Girl, you’d look hot with a bag over your head. But fine, if you’re not comfortable heading in to town, we’ll grab drive through and take it somewhere. You’ll still have to get a cell organized.”
I’d been going to anyway, so I’d have to suck it up and venture out. My mood had lifted slightly, so when I finished my coffee I headed to the shower.
***
The phone salesman eyed me with speculation while selling me the latest iPhone, but I held it together. Char stuck close, giving me the courage to not feel like a freak while I filled out the paperwork. She’d managed to apply some makeup and concealer to my face to help, but I knew in all honesty it had done a poor job of hiding what lay beneath. The poor guy probably thought I’d been beaten by an abusive boyfriend.
My stomach rumbled loudly as I signed my name.
“When did you last eat?” Char whispered.
“Ahhh, a sandwich Harley made for me.” It hadn’t been nearly enough.
“Girl, you’re looking gaunt. We need to get you fed, pronto.”
And with that we collected my new phone and headed back to Char’s SUV and drove to Taco Bell.
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? Going out in public?” She turned the car into the drive through.
“The salesman couldn’t stop looking at me. God knows what he thought.”
“Well, you handled it well, regardless.”
I didn’t answer her. She knew nothing about what had been going on inside me while standing there being ogled like a leper. Normally I didn’t worry too much about how I looked, but being every color of the rainbow proved a whole new kettle of fish.
I ended up ordering a seven layer burrito and Char settled on a giant taco.
I didn’t do Taco Bell too often, simply because it wasn’t on my route home from the hospital. After exhausting days and nights of work, I could never be bothered driving across town for food and just settled for what I happened across on my way home.
As upset as my stomach had been, the food smelled delicious.
We drove to Bandemer Park and sat on the riverfront. Char had been right. Getting out in the fresh air helped. I breathed in and out a few times, letting go of some earlier distress. I prayed Harley would come around after he’d spent a few days getting himself together. Surely the tablets would begin helping soon.
“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Char asked, ever her observant self.
“I’m trying not to.”
“Look. The way I see it is give him some space for now. If you haven’t heard from him in a week, call to see ho
w he is. Don’t give up on him if you care. You need to show him you’re not going anywhere.”
“I told him I wanted to be there for him. It’s what I do, but he seemed adamant he’s doing me a favor. You still think it would be wise to call?”
“It’s either that or I’m going over to Viper’s house and demand he kick some sense into his friend.”
“You just want an excuse to see Viper.”
Smiling wickedly at me, she spoke with a mouth full of taco. “Maybe.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. If Char set her sights on someone or something, she became an unstoppable force. I couldn’t wait to see the outcome of this one.
Feeling moderately better sitting in the late sun, chatting about inconsequential stuff, let me relax.
I needed this. Perhaps now that we both were in the running to switch to day shift, we’d get to hang out more. It had been a long while since I’d had a girlfriend outside of work.
“You’re smiling,” Char commented.
Finishing my mouthful, I nodded. “This is good. Us. Spending time together just chilling. It’s always so frantic at work, we never have time to talk much.”
“Yeah well, when you heal up, girl, I’m taking you out. As in a club. At night.”
That would be nice too. I’d been so wrapped up in my career that I seriously couldn’t remember the last time I went clubbing. Perhaps in my teens.
We spent the better part of the afternoon and early evening sitting at the water’s edge, talking. It proved to be one of the best times I’ve had.
Char dropped me off at my apartment after stopping off for a bottle of wine, which she gave to me and told me to drink.
“It’ll help you forget Mr. Hotness.”
Like that could ever happen. Unfortunately, sitting alone on my couch with my third glass topped up, I could only think of him. I missed him so much already. In such a short time he’d played a huge role in my life. I felt safe with him around. And he made me feel foreign things I’d hoped we could explore. If he kept pushing me away, that would never happen.
When my head began to swim with the effects of the wine, I turned the television on and immersed myself in The Notebook, happy to feel sorry for myself. I didn’t want to ‘adult’ anymore that day. I just wanted to get drunk and wallow.
***
The rest of the week dragged. I wasn’t due back at work until Monday when Char and I would begin day shifts permanently. Management had called to confirm after I’d messaged them my new cell number early in the week.
My parents had sent a quick text to say they’d be back home in another week. They were staying with my mother’s sister in Dearborn before returning. I couldn’t wait to see them and find out all about their holiday. It would be nice to have some moral support besides Char too. I’d no doubt have to confess how my life had nose-dived while they’d been away. It hardly seemed believable, even to me. My dad would probably want to wring Harley’s neck for hurting me, but I couldn’t blame him. I wanted to wring his neck.
On Saturday, Char was determined to drag my carcass out to a club. My face had healed remarkably well during the week, with a lot of the swelling having eased off. I’d been putting arnica on the bruising, and it had faded to a dim yellow which concealed well under makeup. My eye hadn’t fully opened and my jaw still hurt but I was going stir crazy at my apartment.
Harley hadn’t called and I hadn’t bothered to go visit him. Each day that went on made me believe that he’d been serious about letting me go. My heart hadn’t received the memo though, and fluttered every time I thought about him. Which happened a lot. Too much. I couldn’t help it. I wondered if he was okay and what he did to occupy his time. I hope he didn’t act irrationally and take on another dangerous mission to help him cope. I couldn’t imagine the military letting him go anywhere with the state of his mind and his chest wound still healing.
I couldn’t bring myself to call like Char had advised. I didn’t want another knock-back from him. I didn’t want to seem like I pushed or chased him. I just wasn’t that type of person.
At eight o’clock sharp, a car pulled up out front and a knock sounded at the door. Checking the peephole confirmed that Char had come for me.
Dressed in my sexiest black dress with three inch heels, I’d tousled my short hair as best I could and applied plenty of concealer and foundation to my face. My lips I’d painted in a cherry red. It felt like I’d gone way over the top but tonight had ‘new beginnings’ written all over it.
“Holy crap!’ Char squealed, embracing me and forcing me to spin around. “I’ve never seen you look so hot! You’re going to have men all over you wearing that.”
“Ah, yeah. Not letting drunken hopefuls fawn on me all night. I just needed to dress up a bit to help make myself feel better. After looking like someone’s punching bag all week, it’s nice to feel half-human again. Plus, I need to get on with things and start over.”
“Damn straight you do. Not let’s go hit the town!”
Nerves clung to me as we parked and walked a block toward one of the latest clubs to open. Rave was meant to be the hippest club in Ann Arbor, and had been drawing in the crowds for the last month, or so the tabloids had led us to believe.
The queue out the front extended to the end of the block, so we tagged on the end and waited our turn.
Char had dressed in a sexy, low cut white strapless dress that barely covered her backside. I’d never seen this side to her before, but I’d always guessed she had a wild side. After my night of indulgence downing a whole bottle of wine early on in the week, I had no intentions of getting plastered again. It had taken me the better part of the week to gather any energy whatsoever to go out. Not to mention I was still healing.
Her hair was piled high in a messy yet flirty bun. She seemed to be able to pull off the vixen look way better than me. Her eyes were smoked up and popping and I just knew she’d be on the prowl tonight. I could see me driving her car home with or without her later.
It took around half an hour to get to the front of the queue, where a king-sized guy who probably ate steroids for breakfast nodded us both through. We were past the ID stage. I guess working long, stressful hours in a hospital could age you beyond your years.
Walking into the darkened foyer, thumping music shook the walls. A receptionist smiled at us and stamped our wrists.
“Wow, this place is packed!” Char screamed over the pulsating music. Multi-colored lights flashed on and off over the dance floor as bodies writhed and moved in sync to the beat.
“Let’s grab a drink and find a table.”
Happy to let her lead, I followed, people watching as we walked.
There were two levels, the second one overlooking the dance floor and seating area. Guys and girls stood holding the railing, watching the lower level, drinking and chatting. Luckily I dressed a tad risqué, as all the females were showing off plenty of skin.
“What do you want to drink?” Char asked.
Sticking to my non-alcoholic plan, I yelled, “Just get me a Coke. I’m still hungover from that bottle of wine you bought me.”
Laughing, she ordered for us, grabbing herself a Cosmo and pulling me into the throng of bodies. I wasn’t totally comfortable being squished like a sardine, but I kept telling myself to loosen up and just enjoy the night for what it was.
There weren’t any tables, so we hung to the side of the dance floor, finding a small clearing where we could stand.
“Are you sure there wasn’t somewhere less crowded in town?” I asked, jerking forward when a guy tripped into me.
Turning, he ogled me with red, unfocused eyes. “Oops. Sorry, doll.”
Giving him the stink-eye, I waited for Char to reply.
“Yeah, probably, but I wanted to see what all the hype was about. You okay?”
“I’m fine. Just wish there were less people.”
“Everywhere is packed on a Saturday night,” she replied, swinging her hips to an upbeat tempo.
As I searched the dancers on the floor, a feeling of familiarity washed over me. As if someone I knew hovered nearby. A sensation of being watched. Shivers broke out over my arms and I pulled at my dress a little in an attempt at hiding more. It did nothing but cause me to spill my Coke on the deep red carpet.
Char continued to swing her hips and get further into the groove while I stood awkwardly, my eyes scanning the room for any sign of my unexpected butterflies.
Upon raising my gaze to the upstairs floor, I froze. The room closed in on me even further as I struggled to breathe.
Standing against the railing in the far right hand corner and looking far more delectable than I’d seen him to date was Harley. Beside him stood Viper, whose gaze seemed to be fixated on Charlotte, who had no clue she was under scrutiny. Viper had a serious and pissed off face along with Harley, who clenched the railing so tight, I could almost see his white knuckles. As one of the flashing lights caught his face, it lit up his masculine features, enabling me to witness the masterpiece.
A white collared dress shirt with long sleeves and the two top buttons undone sat atop a pair of fitted black pants. He wore the classy outfit well, and it hit me I’d never seen him dressed up before. He’d always worn Nick’s clothes at my apartment, and when I’d seen him last, he’d been in jeans and a tee. He’d look good in anything. I’d seen him in nothing at all and knew what lay beneath. The hard, sinewy physique. Arms to die for, and shoulders wide enough to cover me completely. Shivering, I found it hard to look away and it appeared the same for him.
Just when I wondered if I could summon the courage to go and say hi, a dark-haired, big-boobed female sidled up to him, placing her hand around his waist. Breaking eye contact with me, he smiled at her and then laughed at something she said. My breathing stopped, my forehead creasing as I squinted to see if I was hallucinating.
The Lost and Found Series Page 30