If anyone in the town worried about the gunfire, they didn’t stir to find out. They were probably used to it after having rebels take over, killing and maiming at random.
I wondered how the others were doing.
We needed to meet up now that our targets had been taken down. Sending a quick text on my military radio, I asked for our point of contact.
In a flash, I had a reply. Western side. Abandoned building. Freestanding, just out of town. Coordinates given. So far everything had gone smoothly. Why then did the niggling feeling of doom continue to plague me?
Rounding the bend, we apprehensively walked toward our coordinates, aiming at anything that moved. Residents remained indoors. Smart on their behalf, because the way I felt, they’d most likely suffer a bullet to the head. Firing off some rounds had fed the sick monster inside. The feel of the powerful rifle under my fingers. Hearing the sound of the bullet leaving the barrel. Watching the enemy drop. It all fueled the desire for mortal combat.
Beginning the climb away from the hub of buildings, my group spanned out into a pyramid shape, remaining on high alert. Never let the guard down. Just because we were away from trouble didn’t mean we were out of danger.
Our boots hit the rocky terrain again as the rise we’d taken peaked and then descended, leaving the town behind us, hidden once again. A sigh left me at that point. Glad to be away from it, but knowing our mission had only begun, I’d be glad to finish the day and get a shower and some shut-eye later. I wasn’t sure what awaited us once we regrouped, but we would soon find out. We were on point with our coordinates, the sun beginning to drag itself up over the horizon.
The meeting point hadn’t emerged into view, but I knew we still had a way to go.
Before I could place one foot in front of the other to take my next step, a loud blast sounded the split second before I became airborne, thrown backward in an explosion of rock and dust. I didn’t know what hit me before losing consciousness.
***
Coming around, faces faded in and out. Voices and pieces of words a jumble. My vision wavered, spots dangling and dancing in front of my eyes.
“Viper…hold on…don’t move…we’re getting you out of here.” Screaming. Lots of screaming. Numbness. I was on my back unable to move. What the hell happened?
Curses flew. Not from me, but from those shrouding me. I needed to sleep. My body melded into the ground as if it wanted to become a part of it.
Closing my eyes against the shapes and colors, the last thing I heard and felt was someone’s large hand slapping my face, yelling, “Don’t go to sleep, man. Stay awake.”
Too late.
At odd intervals, I woke and then slept. Movement had me attempt to open my eyes, but the action proved too hard.
My body, a heavy weight, sank into whatever I lay on until I was out to it again.
In the darkness, I swam. Looking for something. Anything to anchor me. I felt nothing. Saw nothing. If death had stolen me, was this it? Was this what happened to us all? And yet my conscious mind remained. Aware of the black. Aware of the awareness. Or perhaps I’d landed in hell. Destined to spend eternity cognizant of nothing but my own thoughts.
I wanted to laugh at the irony of that notion, but couldn’t manage it without a voice. I was nothing—and yet I remained something.
Time ceased to exist and so I remained suspended in an alternate universe. Flashes of memory bled into the dark space. Faces. War. Guns. Battle. A woman. Oh yes. A woman. Fiery red hair and eyes like the forest. She stood out from all the other muck, blocking out the encompassing void for a moment as I grasped onto the hallucination. Like a ray of warm light piercing through gloomy gray clouds, I needed it. Needed…her.
Hell turned into Heaven as I immersed myself in her image. The laughter in her eyes giving me a sense of peace. A sense of belonging. An epiphany cleared some of the fog. Yes. That’s it. She was home. My home.
Chapter Nineteen
Char
Once home, I stood under the burning shower spray to help alleviate the tension wracking my body. Right down to my bones I could feel it. Sorrow. Pain. Worry. As a nurse I’d seen some pretty horrific injuries, but not to someone I knew and cared about. Yes, cared about. I could admit it now. I did care. More than I should, but Viper was different. He challenged me in every way. Maybe that’s why I’d always kept men at a distance and opted for casual. It had been the excuse for my long working hours. I needed someone strong who upended my world and made me work for what I wanted. Someone to keep me on my toes. Most men I’d dated, doctors included, bored me to tears. It was always the same mundane conversations about the weather, my job. Small talk. I needed more. Deep within me, I’d always known, but it had taken a stubborn, arrogant soldier to find and unlock the dormant key to my needs.
Damn. I think I’d just had the revelation of all revelations.
Whatever the extent of Viper’s injuries, I needed to be there for him no matter what. He only had Dec and Mac. He’d helped me in my time of weakness. I’d do the same. I was no psychologist, but I’d had to counsel plenty of patients through trauma while under my care.
Who knew what mindset Viper would be in? How would he react to the likelihood of not being able to return to combat? Ever. That alone may destroy him.
Scrubbing myself and drying off, I settled into my pajamas and walked into the living room to find Mac and Dec huddled together talking quietly. Glancing up at the sound of my approach, they both gave me pitiful smiles.
“Any word?” I asked, eying the food we’d taken from the restaurant on the coffee table.
Nabbing mine, not hungry but knowing I needed sustenance of some kind, I sat and unwrapped the parcel, feeling two sets of eyes on me.
“How are you feeling now?” Mac queried softly.
Numb, but I wasn’t about to say that. “Okay. Shocked. Saddened.” Swinging my gaze to Dec, I asked, “Have you heard anything more?”
Shaking his head, he answered, “No, but I’ll keep pushing for answers.”
My selfishness and own emotions had stopped me from thinking about Dec. His best friend had been struck by a landmine. He knew only what we knew. I could only imagine how he felt.
Reaching out across Mac, I touched his arm. “I’m sorry. You must be gutted too. You’ve known him a lot longer than we have.” My eyes flew between Mac and I.
Clearing his throat and then rubbing his face, he said, “Of all the things that could go wrong in battle, I never imagined a mine getting him.” He stood, kissing Mac on the head. I could tell he was barely keeping it together. “I’m gonna head out for a bit. Sitting here waiting on the phone to ring is doing my head in.”
Mac stood and put her arms around him. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this worry. He’s such a strong guy. He’ll pull through.”
“I know. It’s not his survival I’m stressed about. It’s the after-effects and recovery.”
He had the same mindset as me, knowing full well his friend would mentally be a mess after this. He already wore the internal and external scars of a soldier. If he was left maimed in any way that hindered his ability to continue to fight for his country, it could prove detrimental.
After Dec drove off in his truck, Mac and I sat quietly, neither of us knowing what to say. She remained in her head and I remained in mine, going over and over Viper’s accident.
Overcome with fatigue, I stood. “I’m going to take a nap. Are you okay?”
Smiling up at me, she nodded. “Yeah. You go. I’ll be fine. I’m going to bake some cookies to help take my mind off it.”
I thought that was odd. I’d never seen my friend bake cookies. Perhaps it was her way of dealing.
Once in my room, I stretched out on the bed, letting sleep pull me under.
It was dark when I awoke. Sounds of raised voices seeped through the walls. For a second, disorientation had me sit up and rub at my eyes, but remembering the news from earlier, I groaned and rose, wanting to know what the co
mmotion was.
Opening the bedroom door, I stopped, wondering if I should let them hash it out. I caught some of the conversation and decided I needed to support my friend, who appeared distressed.
“Calm down, honey. It’s okay. You’ve been drinking…”
“Calm the fuck down? How am I supposed to calm the fuck down? My brother is in God knows what state, and I’m sitting over here on my ass waiting for someone to tell me more.” I heard something break and upped my pace down the hallway, only to discover Mac pressed up against the counter while Dec stood in a rage on the opposite side, glass splattered everywhere as if he’d thrown it at the wall.
Both of them spun and stared at me as I neared.
“Ah, what’s going on?”
I looked at Mac. Her face was pinched, eyes dripping with tears. Instantly I was at her side, my arm across her shoulder.
I could smell alcohol fumes across the kitchen. Dec wavered on his feet, eyes bloodshot, fists clenched.
The situation needed to be diffused quickly.
“Dec, let’s go sit in the living room and talk. Do you want a coffee?” I offered, attempting to keep my voice calm.
Eyeing me, he barked, “You think that’s going to help?” Clutching at his hair, desperate, he yelled, “I should have been there! I should have protected him!”
So that’s what bothered him? He felt torn because he hadn’t been with Viper on the mission. He thought his presence may have averted the disaster.
“You couldn’t possibly have done that.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t have said them. I heard Mac’s sharp inhale.
Dec’s eyes blazed. He strode over to us. I knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt us, but he was no less intimidating. “How can you say that? You have no idea. I’ve always had his back and he’s always had mine.”
I wanted to yell back that invisible mines under the ground could go off at any time and no amount of protection could avoid them detonating when they were ready. But I held back.
Instead, I appeased him. “You’re right. I can understand how you feel. I’d feel the same if it were Mac.” Squeezing her shoulder, I kept my focus on the towering wall of anger in front of us. “So let’s think. How can we get the information you need without you physically having to travel to Germany?”
I didn’t have the answers. I was merely trying to calm him down. His eyes twinkled and I could tell the cogs of his brain were turning. As if flicking a switch, his entire demeanor changed. Gripping me by the shoulders he planted a solid kiss on my head. “I fucking knew we had you around for a reason. Char, you’re a genius!”
Mac piped up, “What do you mean?”
“I’m going to Germany!”
Chapter Twenty
Viper
My eyes opened and fought against the bright light. Squeezing them shut and then re-opening them, my vision focused on a room. The last I remembered I’d been walking with my team to safety after taking out our targets.
Attempting to sit up, I found it impossible. My body was numb from the waist down. A brown-haired twenty-something nurse hovered close by. It was obvious I had landed in the hospital.
Upon my awakening, she smiled. “Welcome back.” She spoke in broken English. Her pale skin and blue eyes were the exact opposite of most Afghan women I’d met. Was she working in an Arabian hospital? Maybe she’d been posted here.
Wires and tubes came out of my body beneath the blankets which covered me. A heart monitor beeped monotonously. Outside the window, grey skies lingered above more of the concrete structure I lay in.
“Surgery went well,” she said, moving to my bed to check the IV line hooked up to a bag of fluid.
“Surgery?”
How badly had I been injured? Did I suffer a bullet wound? I’d survived others, but this felt different.
“Yes. The surgeons managed to save three-quarters of your leg.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck? My leg?
Panic seized me as I grappled with the sheets to peer below. I could only move from the waist up. Her words slaughtered me as my eyes zeroed in on my bandaged leg. Crap. Crap. My heart stopped for a moment as I gaped at the shorter limb. A bandaged stump finishing where my knee should have been.
A sound leached from my throat. A whimper mixed with a fierce growl.
The worried nurse still stood beside me, placing her hand on my shoulder in a show of comfort, but it did little to stop the insane reality from squeezing all the air from my lungs.
“I lost my leg? How?”
“You were lucky you didn’t lose it all. You stepped on a landmine.”
My brain tried to remember. Nothing gelled. Shock embraced me. I couldn’t piece together anything.
I realized I could have been killed, but to lose a limb? To be deformed? It would change my world. My job. In the space of a second, I’d become disabled. Flashes of being pensioned off like a leper, lost and forgotten, stole my focus. I didn’t hear what the nurse said, only her voice, faint and muffled as if under water.
I’d lost part of my leg. My toes. My foot. I’d never walk again, unless under the steam of a prosthetic. Shit. How do I deal with that?
A doctor entered. He too appeared of European descent. Confusion made me ask, “Where am I?”
“You were flown to Germany overnight. You’re in Landstuhl Regional Medical Center.”
My head swam. “Germany?” I knew soldiers were brought here for surgery, but to not be aware of the flight and to wake up in another country was very alarming.
“How long will I be here?”
“Until you’ve stabilized. Then a military officer will fly you home.”
Home. It would forever be altered. I’d forever be altered.
“I’ll be back in a little while to check on you. How are your pain levels?”
“I can’t feel anything below the waist.” Why couldn’t I feel my right leg? Thank fuck my left leg had taken the explosion.
“That’s a good thing. You’re numb from surgery. The anesthetic and epidural will wear off in a little while.”
Epidural? I thought only women in labor received those.
Closing my eyes to my new reality, I let the doctor and nurse pad out. I couldn’t even turn over because of the numbness, so I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling, trying to let everything sink in and settle.
As I tried to do this, a vision of a stunning redhead swamped me. Striking eyes.
Body made for sin. A fire in her soul rivaling Hades. For a moment, I let the memory of her draw me in before reality kicked in.
I’d never be able to give her what she needed now. The one woman I could see myself falling for could never love me. I couldn’t bear to see the pity in those glorious eyes. The sadness. She didn’t deserve to be encumbered with a lesser man. She deserved a partner who could give her the world, not just pieces.
I fought the onset of tears. I’d only ever cried at my parents’ funerals. Funny now, how knowing I’d never have Red the way I wanted her, felt like the same loss all over again.
I always assumed war would take my life. I’d die doing what I loved. I never imagined it would dangle death in front of me and torment me into wishing I no longer breathed. No longer having to go through the motions of being half a person. To leave me questioning my existence.
Loneliness stabbed me all over, twisting my organs this way and that. Never before had the world seemed like it was about to swallow me whole.
Chapter Twenty-One
Char
Mac and I had attempted to talk Dec out of his hair-brained idea of traveling to Germany, but he wouldn’t have any of it. In the end, I’d agreed to go with him for company as Mac had used all her work leave and I still had four weeks up my sleeve. After much deliberation, it had been settled. Work had been notified and here I currently sat, in the International Departure lounge at Detroit Metropolitan Airport waiting for our fifteen-hour flight to be called. We’d have two stops along the way. I hoped to
sleep for some of it because I hadn’t done much since hearing of Viper’s accident.
Dec sat beside me on the hard chairs, his foot jerking up and down nervously.
“You worried about what you’ll find when we get there?” I asked.
Staying focused on the screen of his cell, he sighed. “Sure, but regardless, I’m not going to let on to Viper. He needs my full support. I’m trying to mentally prepare myself.”
A female voice announced a different flight, so I waited to respond. “At least I’m practiced in the art of remaining stony-faced,” I joked, but he didn’t laugh. I couldn’t blame him. As much as he would never admit it, I knew he agonized over his friend. The hows and whys of it all. The what ifs. Viper was lucky to have Dec, and vice-versa. I’d never met two grown men who were so loyal. They truly were family in every sense of the word, except blood. They had a lifelong bond forged through battle and it could never be broken.
We waited another half hour before our flight was called, fifteen minutes late.
Finding our seats toward the back of the plane, I was grateful Dec offered me the window seat. Such a long flight called for some sort of view into the outside world. The longest I’d ever flown had been years earlier to Los Angeles to visit my cousin.
We got settled, and before long we were cruising at thirty-two thousand feet. I asked the one question plaguing me. “Do you think he’ll be pleased to see us?”
“I hope so. I’m the only family he has. It’s gotta be lonely for him without a support network.”
Would he be happy to see me though? It’s not like he’d left on bad terms, but would he want me seeing him in whatever state he was in?
“How long do you think they’ll keep him in Germany?” I asked, wondering if he’d even still be there when we arrived.
The Lost and Found Series Page 47