Inside Voices

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Inside Voices Page 22

by Sarah Davis


  He leaned closer to her and whispered, “Why do you think?”

  Their eyes met, and Penny momentarily forgot how to breathe. “Ah, nightmares?”

  A half-smile lifted his face, the twinkling lights reflected in his eyes making him look mischievous. “While there is that, I can’t stop thinking about a certain brunette. But I’m not sure she likes me in a romantic way.”

  Her blush became so intense she was sure her head would light the room red. She cleared her throat before replying. “Well, might be a good idea to ask her.”

  “I’ve thought of that. But what if she doesn’t like me more than a friend. Would that affect our relationship in the future? I would rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.”

  Penny’s eyes leapt between each of his, as if trying to discover which eye held the key to what he implied. Finding no concrete answer in either, she stared back down at her hands. “I can see how that would be a difficult choice. But wouldn’t it be better to know for sure? Especially if she feels the same way?” Deep in her heart she hoped he was referring to her, and yet uncertainty needled its way in, reminding her that there surely was someone else.

  “There are no certainties in life,” he said as he stood.

  “Except time,” she glanced at the clock that read 4:23 a.m. “I should get back home.” Misery welled up within her. It was not her that he had secret feelings for.

  “I’ll walk you back,” Noah offered her his hand. She accepted the strong, calloused grip and allowed herself to be pulled up out of the warmth and security of the hammock. The fact that he kept hold of her hand until they reached the ladder leading to her room caused the bubbles of hope flare to life.

  “So, how long have you known about the back access to the bunker?” he asked as he turned to face her.

  “Army said I could come down anytime, from any route, so…”

  She felt awkward standing so close to him. Crap, what should I do?

  How about keep breathing and get up the ladder? Her sister offered.

  Penny started. Really?

  Well, if I told you to sneak a quick kiss on his cheek, you would be mortified, so I went the safe route.

  Penny grabbed the rung above her head and paused, thinking about her sister’s comment. She turned and faced Noah, her hand still on the rung.

  “I’m sorry she turned out to be so crazy,” she said breathlessly as she rested her chin on her shoulder.

  A soft smile lightened his face. “Don’t be.”

  She turned back to head up the ladder when he called to her softly, encouraging her to turn back to face him. The soft, red glow of the corridor lights cast shadows across his face, and his eyes gleamed darkly as he stared down at her. His gaze traveled her face, over her lips before meeting her gaze once again.

  Her heart beat so loudly in her ears she almost didn’t discern his words.

  “You probably shouldn’t tell your mother about this ladder.”

  She nodded and cast her gaze downward ready to make her way up the ladder. Disappointment welled up until she felt the heat radiating from his skin, and she realized he had her caged against the metal rungs. She glanced up and saw such vulnerability on his face.

  His voice was husky when he whispered, “Penny.”

  Then he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. They were soft and warm, tentative before he broke contact and rested his forehead against hers.

  In the scarlet shadows, his warm breath caressed her skin. An intense need hit her, and she reached for his face, trailing her fingers along his strong jaw as they moved to the back of his neck, the short stubble rough against her fingertips. The pulse in his neck thrummed as she pulled him closer.

  The half-smile that made her heart flutter played on his lips as his face hoovered mere heartbeats from hers. His skin was fire, and his gaze the northern lights. He grasped her around her waist and pulled her tight against his body. He ran a hand up her spine and cupped her neck, tilting her head back. She met his lips and kissed him with a hungry abandon she didn’t understand but that made her entire being sing. She pulled back after only a few moments, their breathing ragged. Her heart beating like she had just run five miles.

  Invested

  Marie did not appear at the next defense class nor any other class for several weeks, for which Penny was grateful.

  “She probably moved on to something more fun, someone else whose life is more interesting to interfere in,” Eelyn commented after hearing a short synopsis of the soap opera that had been Penny’s social life for a few short weeks.

  Penny and Noah continued with their friendship as if nothing happened—but something most certainly had. His lack of additional affection made her uncomfortable, questioning whether the kiss had happened. He maintained a continued presence, but Penny felt a strain.

  Maybe he regretted it. Maybe he didn’t really like her. Maybe he changed his mind.

  Maybe you both are colossal chicken butts, commented her sister on more than one occasion. Unfortunately for cupid, as Lucy pointed out, you both are too timid to do anything about it. He has feelings for you, you dummy. Throw him a bone, would you? Give him some sign that you are in love with him.

  I don’t know if I should. I mean, I have another year and then will be heading back to Anchorage, right? Is it worth it if I end up ruining our friendship? Or what will happen when I must leave? Long distance relationships don’t often work out.

  Seriously, why worry about that? What will be will be, you know?

  Right. So. I’ll just give him more time. That sounded about right to Penny.

  Take a chance already!

  You know, you need to be putting more energy into finishing your book than trying to figure out my life story.

  March brought with it increased daylight hours—from nine hours to over half a day. The tagged polar bears were still out on the ice, far from shore according to the computer that Penny continued to monitor. Temperatures slowly rose and reached the mid-thirties by 8:30 p.m.

  One night, Penny needed to get out even if it was dark, just for a break to clear her head. She didn’t need a chaperone for a short walk with Blue, and the absence of any terrible visions led her to conclude that all would be fine. Like Army said, she must get out and live life.

  Lucy continued with her suggestions and lecturing on how Penny should conduct herself around Noah.

  Get out of my head! Let me enjoy this walk without you, without your thoughts. I have enough of my own to deal with! She mentally screamed, the force of it causing her to bend over. She grasped her head in her hands, her breath ragged. Blue sniffed her gloved hands and whimpered.

  She heard nothing in response. Finally. Her sister had pulled away from her. Penny rubbed Blue’s head before standing straight. “Sorry, buddy. Personal things to take care of.”

  He licked her cheek and turned to resume pulling on the leash.

  After a few minutes of refreshing silence, she heard a vehicle approach. She reached for her cell phone just in case. A small SUV pulled up beside Penny. The window slowly rolled down as Penny’s hair stood on end.

  “Hi, Penny! Long time, no see!”

  Penny’s stomach curled at the sound of the all too familiar voice. She forced a polite smile as she turned.

  “Hi, Marie.”

  “Oh, Blue has gotten so big! Penny, this is my boyfriend, Steven, and his two boys, Alex and Axel.” Marie placed a lot of emphasis on the term boyfriend.

  Penny nodded and smiled. “Hi.” Blue pulled on his leash, away from the SUV.

  “It’s been ages since I have seen you,” Marie gushed. “How are things going?” Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the interior lights of the vehicle.

  “Oh, great! Really great. Staying busy.” Penny smiled widely and wanted to add something about Noah but failed to see the point. Blue continued to lunge away from the vehicle. He was not immune to Penny’s feelings.

  “And Noah. How is he?”

  And she went t
here, Penny thought.

  “Awesome.”

  “Good.”

  “Good.”

  Marie cleared her throat and spoke quietly to the driver. She turned to Penny. “Okay, well, we will leave you with Blue. Looks like he wants to keep going.” She smiled. “See you later!”

  Penny wondered at the exchange and why they were out driving, here. The road led to more than just Army’s, she supposed.

  As the vehicle sped away, Blue sat with his tongue lolling and his cheeks pulled back in a sort of grin. She smiled at him and gave his head a quick pat.

  “Are you helping me?” She wondered aloud. He barked once.

  Upon their return to the house, Penny found Noah had left more wooden teething rings that he had carved for Fjord. With Fjord’s canine teeth erupting, his pains became Penny’s. He stopped eating for several days while his chewing intensified. Eelyn once brought some freezable child teething rings for him to try. They worked for a bit, but once the swelling in his mouth subsided and the teeth poked through, he quickly destroyed the teething rings

  “This inside stuff is nontoxic, right?” Penny asked her mother

  “I think so.”

  Penny switched to frozen washcloths for him to chew on until Noah made the wood rings.

  The weather was warming, and a good length of freezing rain struck the night before a needed trip to the research station. A thick layer of glass covered every outdoor surface the following morning.

  As she stepped out onto the small landing outside the front door, she slipped on slick ice, landing roughly on her backside. Sharp pain shot up her tailbone, forcing the air from her lungs.

  Are you hurt? her sister asked as Penny blinked back the rising tears.

  Nothing to be concerned about. Just a crack. Penny began giggling. That giggle grew until a snort erupted, and her laughter bordered on hysteria. Thankfully, no one had observed her graceless fall.

  “Careful, goofy. You’ll slip again.”

  Surprise. So, Noah had witnessed her fall.

  He offered his hand, but her feet struggled to find a grip on the icy wood. Noah let go before he too went down. Waves of laughter hit her again as she struggled to rise. Groaning, she blinked away the tears and rolled to her side so she could grab hold of the railing and pull herself to her feet.

  “You okay?” Noah asked, barely able to conceal the grin.

  The laughter rose once more as she said, “Just a crack.” She slipped again in her fit of hysteria.

  He shook his head, and his laughter joined hers. He asked where the spikes were that Army gave her yesterday.

  “Um, inside on the counter.”

  “What are they doing there?”

  “Being completely unhelpful.”

  “The spikes are supposed to help you.”

  “No shit.”

  She took deep breaths in an attempt to regain composure. “Probably need de-icer for the steps.” She giggled.

  “You think?” Noah brushed off the back of her jacket, and she held up her arms signaling him to wait.

  “I’ll dust off my pants, thank you. I’m fine, really.”

  They loaded up the truck and set out, Fjord chewing on the seat and awkwardly crawling between them in the front seat. Both dogs lounged in the back. The truck, in four-wheel drive, skidded several times on the trip through the quiet town and out to the station. When they reached the station, Penny grabbed the little bear and set him down outside the truck next to her feet. He sat for several seconds, squinting in the sunlight before he grabbed her polar bear-hide-covered leg and attempted to climb up.

  She walked forward, brushing him off as she walked. He followed like a puppy on all fours, calling with his high-pitched squeal. Winter and Blue jumped out of the back and started sniffing around the interior of the research fence. Whenever she got too far away from him, Fjord would cry out.

  “He kinda sounds like a goat.”

  “He does not. Goats sound like polar bear cubs,” Penny shot back, sticking her tongue out at Noah.

  As Fjord continued to venture further through the snow, Blue approached him and rolled him easily on his back with a paw before calmly walking away. Fjord struggled to right himself and clumsily jogged after Blue. Penny sat down on a snow-covered barrel, thankful for her caribou face mask and polar bear leggings. Noah sat next to her and called to the little cub. Fjord ambled over and rubbed up against Penny’s legs, standing up and falling over in his attempt to climb. Penny reached down and lifted the cub into her lap.

  “Oh man, buddy. You are heavy,” she huffed.

  “How much does he weigh now anyway?” Noah asked, the skin around his eyes crinkled against the glare of the sun reflecting off the snow.

  “Fifty-two pounds.”

  “Fifty-two. He was only fifteen.”

  Noah stood up and walked away a few feet before sitting back down on the snow. He held out his arms. “Here, release the kraken!”

  Penny lowered Fjord to the ground again only to find that he tried once again to climb her legs. So, she stood and walked over to Noah. Fjord followed slowly behind. As Penny looked down at Noah, he smiled and reached over to pet her furry leggings. Before she knew what happened, she was lying on the ground beside him. “You should be more careful. The ground is slick there.”

  She threw a handful of snow at his face, which he successfully ducked. By then, Fjord had reached them and was noisily climbing her legs. The dogs had also jogged over to join in the action. Noah played with Winter and Blue while Penny played energetically with the small bear, spending more time deflecting him from her face.

  “Get off, you nose licker, ew!” she said as Fjord reached up to paw at her hand as she pushed his little black nose away from her face.

  Blue finally dropped down beside Penny, his tongue lolling. Fjord half-crawled, half-fell off Penny’s back and climbed Blue. Blue shook the cub off and pinned him with a front paw, judiciously licking the cub’s wriggling body.

  Penny and Noah laughed. Penny could sense the weight lift from her shoulders. Had she really been that tense? The wind was light today, and she imagined it carrying off her anxieties, her cares. Noah propped himself up on one elbow and watched the dog and the bear.

  “So, I was thinking we should increase the amount of time we spend outside with him. I was also thinking about taking the sled out away from town so he can get different terrain. Take him down to the coast.”

  “You’ve been thinking a lot,” she said wryly. A handful of snow hit her in the side of the face. “I was just worried you would hurt yourself, all that thinking,” in her giggling, she inhaled snow and coughed.

  “We could even go visit the Burnirk site.” He was referring to the archaeological sites where prehistoric mounds had been discovered.

  “Not sure we are allowed to go there, much less with a bear and two dogs in tow.” She stared off at the horizon.

  “Oh, you forget…I know people. We could go to the coast and dig for mammoth tusks. Need something to match your narwhal tusk, right?” He smiled mischievously.

  She imagined the five of them digging feverishly in the exposed permafrost. Blue carting off a tusk much too large for him to carry. A smile tugged at her lips even as she cringed. Fjord screeched and bit and swatted at Winter’s tail. Winter smacked the cub in the face with his tail, and Fjord growled and rolled over backwards. Noah laughed.

  As her thoughts transformed, Penny nodded, absentmindedly chewing the inside of her bottom lip. She began to construct an image of her and Noah, decked out in polar bear fur, wandering the countryside with an ever-growing polar bear cub. Winter and Blue ever in the image. As her mind wandered, she paid less attention to Noah’s rambling.

  “…permit for a sanctuary.” She turned her head quickly, flopped down and propped her head on her hand, mirroring Noah, and asked him to repeat what he just said.

  Noah smiled. “Repeat from where I started or from where you started getting glassy-eyed on me?”

&n
bsp; “Sorry, I just started thinking about what is yet to come in the saga of the growing polar bear and his peeps. What were you saying about a permit?” Penny smiled meekly.

  “Army thinks he can get a permit to reopen a wildlife sanctuary. There was one not far from the research station that housed polar bears at one time. It was a way to rehab injured wildlife and once healthy enough, they returned the animals to where they had been found, equipped with tracking collars and the like. The place has been abandoned for at least four years now. He thinks there is a slight chance he can get it, and slight is better than none. I like the idea better than the place thirty miles away. Or a zoo. At least with the sanctuary we would be reasonably close to town.”

  The cold started seeping into her feet and fingers, but her heart warmed when Noah said “we.” She mentally chided herself for her reaction, but with a smile responded with “let’s hope so” before standing up and brushing herself off.

  On their way back after several hours of playtime, Blue and Fjord fell asleep in the back seat on the ride home, Fjord curled up beneath Blue’s lanky frame.

  Army surprised her with a larger, more sturdy wood box for Fjord when they returned home. This update included a hinged cover that kept the holding area dark and warm. It also became his playpen as too often he ventured away from Penny, chewing on anything that was within reach. Like her boots. Eelyn’s boots. The broom. The chairs and table. Penny obsessed about the chewing on the furniture and asked Army how best to prevent the chew marks. The bear was mostly unresponsive to her mental persuasion against chewing.

  “Well, it isn’t expensive furniture at any rate. More important to keep the electrical cords away from him. I don’t care for fried bear cub. Maybe it would be best to put up a fence and restrict him to one area. Yes, that would be good but should protect the wood, too…” He trailed off in thought. “If we section off part of the living room near the back door…we could even throw together a rough shed to sit outside the back door.”

 

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