by Olivia Miles
“Well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about,” she said as she stepped away. She glanced over her shoulder to see him still watching her, his hands thrust in his pockets, his gaze steady.
And he had. About a lot more than just a job.
22
Kim
Kim decided it was probably her turn to cook dinner—but there was no denying that her motive was slightly ulterior. She’d been restless all day, feeling just as anxious about going back to Chicago as she was about the guestlist for a wedding that might never happen.
The Main Street Market was, like many establishments on Evening Island, family-owned and operated and passed down through generations. It was small but cozy with warm woods and a deli counter at the back that served Kim’s favorite potato salad. Kim loaded her basket with all that it would fill before piling the bags into her bicycle basket and pedaling home, resisting the urge to check her phone again while she was in town and more likely to get a signal.
Heather was working on her article on the front porch when Kim arrived out of breath a few minutes later.
“Do you want some help?” her sister asked, setting her notebook to the side.
Kim waved off her concerns. “I do know how to cook, you know. But maybe just not as good as you.”
“Oh, I rarely cook anymore,” Heather said a little sadly. She gathered the second bag from Kim’s hand and followed her into the kitchen. “Being back here has given me an excuse to do it again. I…didn’t know how much I missed it.”
Kim couldn’t imagine missing cooking—the clean-up alone was so unappealing—but she sensed something in her sister, a need, perhaps, that went above her own.
“Well, if you don’t mind…” She began unpacking the dried pasta and fresh tomatoes.
Heather perked up when she pulled three ears of corn from the bag. “Oh, I know exactly what to make with this. You’ll love it!”
Kim smiled as Heather eagerly rinsed the vegetables, feeling better, even if it was only because she liked seeing her sister this way. Excited, happy, not frowning or hiding away from the world like she’d been doing all these months. For the first time in a long while, Heather seemed almost hopeful.
Funny how the tables had turned.
“Andrea home?” she asked as she opened the cabinet to retrieve some plates. The least she could do was put together a nice table setting. She’d pick some flowers from the yard like their mother used to do.
“She came back while you were out,” Heather said. She pulled a cutting board from a drawer and set to work chopping the produce with the proficiency of an expert.
Kim slid her a sly look. “She was out with John again, you know.”
“Oh, I know!” Heather’s lips pinched around a smile. “It seems that our sister isn’t so cut off from the idea of love after all.”
“It’s funny how life can take such a sudden turn. Things happen, people surprise you. One day you’re on a path and then the next day you realize you might want to switch directions.” Kim sighed as she pulled three glasses from the cabinet and closed it again.
Sensing that Heather was now giving her a strange look, she said brightly, “I’ll get things set up outside!”
She stayed busy, creating a floral arrangement with happy-colored blooms, setting out candles and her mother’s favorite linen napkins, half wondering if she should run next door and invite Gemma and Leo to join them, but then she remembered that Heather was cooking for three based on limited ingredients, and besides, it would be nice to spend this time alone with her sisters. It was already Tuesday, the days were winding down, and this time next week, they’d be right back to where they were two weeks ago.
Or would they? Her entire future had never felt more unknown; she was almost as lost as she’d been last August, unsure of how to move forward.
Kim’s anxiety was only stronger by the time Andrea and Heather came onto the porch, Andrea carrying a bottle of wine and a salad, and Heather a giant bowl of pasta that smelled good enough to pull a smile from Kim’s face.
“Mom used to make this every time we came up here!” She spooned some onto her plate, and then, because she probably didn’t need to worry about that ugly wedding dress fitting, added more.
“Only on weekends. It was Dad’s favorite,” Andrea said fondly. She was still wearing Kim’s sundress, and her eyes had a light to them that hadn’t been there just a week ago.
“It’s too bad Dad couldn’t have joined us for a few days,” Heather said.
Kim stopped chewing and reached for the wine bottle instead. It had already been corked and she filled her glass liberally. Just thinking about her father made her tense.
“Oh, you know Dad,” Andrea said lightly. “He’s always traveling for work, especially lately.”
Heather gave a conciliatory nod. “True. I just thought, with Mom’s anniversary coming up, and with everything… Well, it might have been nice.”
“I understand,” Andrea interjected. “Work has been an escape for him. His way of dealing with things. In a way, it’s been mine too.”
Kim felt a softening toward her oldest sister, and she saw Heather stop eating for a moment. It wasn’t often that Andrea bared her feelings. She was tough that way. Like their father.
Which made all of this more difficult. They were finally taking a turn, coming together as the sisters they’d once been, and the last thing Kim wanted to do was ruin things.
“Dad hasn’t been traveling for work,” Kim said, knowing as soon as she said it that she couldn’t take the words back, couldn’t undo the events she’d set in motion. Even though the truth had to come out eventually, she resented having to be the one sharing it nearly as much as it relieved her to finally talk about it.
“What do you mean?” Andrea didn’t look convinced. “He’s on the road more than ever.”
Kim swallowed hard. “He travels, but not for work.”
Heather looked at her in confusion. “But if he’s not traveling for work, why is he always away from home?” Then, as if it had only now occurred to her, her shoulders slumped and she looked at both of them. “That’s a big house. An empty house, now. It must be so hard for him to be there without Mom.”
Kim took a long sip from her glass. The truth was about to come out, and there was no sense in delaying things further.
“Dad has…” She didn’t even know what to say. Found a replacement for Mom? Moved on without a glance back? She knew that wasn’t fair, but that’s how it felt. She could feel the heat of her sister’s eyes on her, sense the tension. They were expecting the worst. “Dad has…met someone.”
The porch fell completely silent, and Kim’s heart was beating so loudly that she half wondered if her sisters could hear it. It was still light outside, and a passing carriage passed by on the road, kicking up dust, no doubt transporting its occupants to one of the island’s best restaurants tucked deep into the woods. Kim listened to the sound of the horses’ hooves until they completely faded.
“What? When did you find out?” Heather finally said.
“Last week when I visited him.” Kim looked at Andrea, whose expression was impossible to read. “That’s why I got so edgy when you asked about him our first night here. I wanted us to have a nice time. I didn’t want to think about all the things that were bothering me.”
“What other things?” Heather asked.
Kim shook her head. “Just…you know. Life. Stress. This was supposed to be our chance to get away from everything. Then Dad dropped that in my lap, right in the middle of dinner at the club.”
Heather gave her a look of sympathy. “I don’t know what’s more upsetting. That you didn’t tell us sooner or that Dad has…”
“Replaced Mom?” Kim looked at her miserably. “He said they’ve been dating since January.”
“January!” Andrea stood to reach for the bottle of the wine, but she didn’t sit back down again after refilling her glass. Kim watched her pace along the porch as if she
were trying to work something out. “But he never told me, and I speak to him regularly, at least a couple of times a month.”
That was more than Kim could say, and from the shrug Heather gave, the same could be said for her.
“And he never hinted at anything?” Kim sighed. “I suppose he was waiting until it was serious.”
Andrea stopped walking. “You think it’s serious?”
Kim nodded. “He told me that she’s going to be staying with him at the house.”
“She’s moving in? How old is this woman?” Andrea wanted to know.
“I asked the same thing. He told me they were roughly the same age. I think…I think he loves her.”
Andrea made a dismissive sound. “Nonsense. The man’s lonely, that’s all it is. People do crazy things when they’re lonely and grieving.”
Heather shifted in her seat and then stood. “I think I need some more wine too. I’ll get us another bottle.”
Andrea watched her disappear into the house and turned to Kim defiantly. “Well, I don’t care if he’s lonely, or if she’s his age. It’s too soon. Mom has only been gone for a year, and they were married for decades.”
Kim had had over a week to process this, but she understood Andrea’s denial. She’d felt it herself when she’d first heard the news. With a sigh, she looked up to see Heather emerge through the screen door. She’d grabbed a cardigan along with the bottle of wine, and Kim longed for the same sense of comfort, even though it was a warm night.
“He told me that he’s happy,” she said softly. “And…isn’t that what Mom would want? For him to be happy? For all of us to be happy?”
Heather topped off Kim’s glass and her own and then sat down again. “But happiness is fleeting, not permanent. Nothing lasts forever.”
Kim studied her sister, wondering if she was still talking about their father or if she was thinking about her marriage.
“Dad’s clearly lost it. All his life, he was focused on his career and his family. If he was lonely, why didn’t he visit us more often?” Andrea looked at them for an answer that neither of them could give.
“He probably didn’t want to be a burden,” Kim said, thinking it through. “We all live in Chicago. I was dating Bran and then busy planning a wedding. You were going through a divorce, Heather, and Andrea, Dad knows that you’re just like him. That you threw yourself into your work even more when Mom died.”
“Only Dad didn’t throw himself into his work, did he?” Andrea raised an eyebrow. She sipped her wine, shaking her head. “I’ve been too focused on work. And look what’s happened. It’s all a giant mess. And for what?”
Kim glanced at Heather. This wasn’t the type of talk they were used to hearing from their oldest sister, and certainly not in such broad terms. Andrea could never be “too focused” on work in the past. Work had been everything to her. Until, perhaps, now.
“Is everything okay with your job?” Kim couldn’t even imagine that anything could be wrong in Andrea’s life; she gave the impression of always being in control, always on track.
If Andrea didn’t have it all figured out, then what hope was there for her?
“It’s fine, just…” Andrea shook her head. “Just stressful. But what else is new? Besides, we’re talking about Dad now.”
“Maybe he’s lonely,” Heather said softly. She poked at her food, shaking her head. “I should have gone to visit him.”
“We all should have gone to visit him,” Kim stressed. “But we didn’t even make time for each other.”
Heather’s frown was deep when she dropped her fork. “I feel bad about that. It wasn’t intentional. Time just slips away and before you know it…it’s too late.”
“It’s not too late,” Kim insisted. “We’re here now. And you guys have your jobs and I….” She didn’t quite know how to finish that sentence. She was still figuring things out. “And Dad kept saying he was fine, that he was busy, traveling. I wanted to believe that.”
“Well, he’s certainly been busy!” Andrea narrowed her eyes.
“Maybe he’s just having a little fun. A little company.” Heather looked at them for affirmation.
“True. She’ll probably be gone by the holidays. We won’t have to meet her.” Andrea looked certain of this as she dropped back into her seat as if the problem had been solved.
Kim finished her last swallow of wine and passed the bottle to Andrea. She was going to need it. “He invited her to the wedding.”
Both sisters stared at her with such wide eyes that Kim felt almost sick just thinking of how it would all play out. She was already stressed just thinking of having to explain the change in seating arrangements to Lynette, and now she would have two angry sisters to deal with, too. This wasn’t the way the wedding was supposed to play out. She was supposed to be wearing her mother’s dress and veil. She was supposed to go shopping for all the details with her mother, or at least her sisters. Her family was not supposed to show up like strangers to her wedding.
Her father was not supposed to bring a surprise guest.
And her mother…her mother was supposed to be there.
She stood up. “There’s no use in getting all worked up about it because right now, I’m not even sure there will be a wedding at all!”
And then, because she couldn’t hold it in any longer, she burst into tears.
23
Heather
Heather watched Kim flee from the table. Seconds later, she heard the screen door bang shut.
“What was that all about?” She turned to Andrea, who was unable to hide her shock. It wasn’t like Kim to be so moody, even if their discussion about their father had been upsetting, to say the least. But to threaten to call off her wedding? All because of this woman?
Andrea could only shake her head. “She’s done nothing but talk about that wedding for months. I assumed she was excited.”
“Me too,” Heather said, chewing her nail. She replayed their conversations since the time of the engagement, realizing with some shame that there hadn’t been many and that she hadn’t been able to match Kim’s enthusiasm, only listen and find a polite way to cut the conversation short.
Sometimes she didn’t know what part was more difficult: hearing about how wonderful life with Bran was or about how close she had become with his mother.
“Maybe she has jitters,” Andrea said, draining what remained in her glass. “The wedding is next month and Dad did just throw a wrench in everything.”
Heather nodded miserably. Their father had found someone. Moved on. With his life, with his heart, and as much as it upset her to think of him already setting their mother in the past, it also rattled her to think that others could find love again so easily. But it wasn’t that easy, not for her. Even if it might look that way, or could be that way, if situations were different.
But then, if the situation was different—if she had been able to have a child or any future children—then she and Daniel might still be married. Billy would still fall into the friend basket.
Maybe, it wasn’t meant to be.
“Do you want to talk about Dad?” she asked wearily. It was getting late, but the days were long here on the island, and nightfall wouldn’t come for at least another hour or more.
She was relieved when Andrea shook her head and began clearing the table. “Not really. I think…I think I’ll go for a walk and clear my head.”
Heather decided to do the same, but not together. She needed some time to think, and she suspected that each of her sisters felt the same. Instead, she carried the dishes into the kitchen, went upstairs, changed into more comfortable shoes, and waited a few minutes after Andrea had left to pull her bike out from the shed. If she knew Kim, then she’d be at North Shore Beach, staring out onto the water, or maybe even taking a swim. The cool temperature of the lake didn’t bother her, and by this time of summer, it was the warmest it would ever be.
Andrea was probably going for a jog, a long one, circling the island, o
r maybe she was in town, doing work, or looking for John. Something was going on between the two of them—much as Andrea might try to deny it. Her sisters had more going on under the surface than either of them was willing to share, it was starting to seem. And maybe, the same could be said for herself.
She knew without thinking about it that she would go to Billy’s house. The memory of their kiss was still fresh on her mind, and that troubled her. She didn’t want to think about it, she didn’t want to hope that it might happen again. Instead, she wanted to focus on the reality of her circumstances. She and Billy had no chance for a future. They never did.
Sure enough, Billy was on his front porch nursing a beer when she came to stop on the stone path. He perked up when he saw her, his eyes crinkling into a smile that lingered as she walked up the path to join him.
Heather felt suddenly like the shy young teenager on her first day of summer break all over again. Just like back then, her heart was beating with expectation and hope for something she couldn’t have, but wanted, oh so badly. She set a hand to her stomach to settle her nerves.
He stood, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. “This is a nice surprise. Can I get you a glass of wine? Beer?” His grin flashed on that. He knew she’d never liked the taste of it, even when they were eighteen and a group of them had snuck off to the North Shore Lighthouse with a picnic basket full of beer and chips.
“Wine would be great,” she said. She settled onto a chair while he disappeared inside, giving herself a silent lecture while she heard the sounds of a fridge door closing and a cabinet opening.
This was not a date. Or a breakup. It was just two old friends enjoying what remained of the warm nights until they went back to the real world. It was the same as it had been every summer. The only difference now was that Billy was staying.
For some reason, she couldn’t shake the way that made her feel as if this time she had a choice, that this time she was leaving him behind. That this time, she had nothing to go back to and everything to part with instead.