“You’re alive and on the other end of this phone. The only thing that could be truly bad is if you were dead. That is what I couldn’t bear.”
Tears burned at her eyes. The lump had become so thick, no words could move around it.
“What is it? You can tell me anything.”
She swallowed hard, the words coming out barely louder than a whisper. “I’m going to die.”
Now there was no word on the other end.
Tears began to fall down her face. “Say something, Mama.”
Her mother was incapable of hiding her emotions. “What did he do to you, honey?”
“He gave me HIV.”
The gasp was real and deep.
Tamyra fell against the cushion on the end of the sofa. Her tears were rushing as fast now as the heaves from her chest. “I’m so sorry, Mama! I’m so sorry!”
“Hush, Tamyra. . . . Hush. It’s alright.”
“But it’s my fault. I made the choice to do something I never wanted to do. I made the choice to sleep with him when I had committed to save myself for marriage. I made the choice, and this is God’s punishment!”
“Now you be quiet one minute and listen to me. God hasn’t been standing up there figuring out how to strike you down because you made a horrible mistake. Your choice opened the door for HIV, not God. And don’t you ever forget it.”
Tamyra sniffed hard. Gasps still stuttered through her, and she felt like a baby who cried itself sick. “But He must be so mad at me.”
“He may be heartbroken. Disappointed. Weeping with you. But He’s not mad at you. If I, your mama, am not mad at you, then you can rest assured, He’s not mad at you.”
“You aren’t mad at me?” She pulled the pillow up closer to her face.
“No, baby.” She could hear her mother’s tears now. “I’m not mad that you are HIV-positive. But I am furious that you didn’t tell me this six weeks ago when you ran off to hide! Now that makes your mama very mad!”
Tamyra couldn’t help but chuckle. It started as a sputter. But then it burst through her like a spigot turned on high. The laughter was contagious because in a minute her mother was doing the same thing on the other end. Tamyra finally broke it with her words. “We’re crazy, Mama.”
“Yeah, we are, honey. But I’m so glad you called me. So very glad.”
They talked for another two hours. Tamyra told her all about Winnie, and her mama couldn’t wait to meet the woman who had helped heal the heart of her girl. They wept together some more. They laughed together some more. They prayed together. And when they were done, Tamyra felt as if the door to her cage had been opened.
“You’re going to have to come back home and deal with this, honey.”
“I know. I fly out on Saturday.”
“And you’re going to have to forgive him. You know that, don’t you?”
She felt a furor strike through her blood. “I’m too angry to forgive him, Mama. I hate him. I hate everything about him.” The words came out with a rage that surprised even her.
“I know, honey. I understand.”
Her mama stopped there. But Tamyra knew she hadn’t stopped. She had simply changed audiences. She wouldn’t address it with Tamyra. She’d just address it with Jesus. She’d been bringing Tamyra before Him for a long time, and this time would be no different.
“They’re worried about you at the pageant. They think you might not show. I told them you keep your word. Always have. Always will.”
“I will. I’ll be there.”
“I know, honey. That’s what I told them. So I’ll see you Saturday night?”
“Saturday night.” The mere thought caused a smile to come across her face.
Her mother paused for a minute. “You’re not going to die, honey girl. You’re going to live.”
“Well, telling you is a step in that direction.”
“Thanks for calling me, honey. We’ll tell your father together, but I’ll let him know we talked and you’re going to be just fine.”
“Thank you. Wish I could hug you, Mama.” Tamyra leaned back into the cushion of the sofa.
“You just wrap your arms around yourself and you know that Mama has you encompassed all about. All about.”
“I love you, Mama.” She hung up the phone. There was much left to do. Much left to face. And Jason couldn’t be avoided. Well, technically, he could be for the next four days.
* * *
Laine picked up her phone and dialed. The panicked voice of her assistant answered.
“Alison, it’s Laine.”
“Yes, Ms. Fulton. I’ve been trying and trying to reach you.”
“I know. I know. Listen . . .” Her voice caught. This was harder than she thought. “I don’t want you to quit.”
The line went silent.
“Are you there?”
“Um, yes, ma’am. I’m here.”
“I was really hard on you Saturday. We all make mistakes from time to time. So let’s you and I try to communicate better and we’ll see how things work out. But for today, let’s forget about the whole new assistant thing.”
“Okay. Well, I don’t know what to say, honestly. But thank you. Thank you very much.”
Laine sat on the edge of the bed. “You’re welcome. So how about you take the rest of the week off. If I need you, I’ll call you.” She was sure the girl would recheck her caller ID when she hung up.
“The week off?”
“Yeah. Take a break. I’m sure it’s been a stressful couple of days.”
“Thank you.”
She was certain the girl was close to a nervous breakdown. “I’ll see you when I get back.”
The sniffles were audible. “I’ll be ready to go first thing Monday morning.”
Laine hung up the phone and fell back on the bed. She hoped there wasn’t going to have to be a lot more of that. She’d had mammograms she had enjoyed more.
12
Tuesday afternoon . . .
Riley swiped at her tears when she heard footsteps coming toward her office. Mia’s boundless energy swept into the room but stopped abruptly.
“You’ve been crying. What in the world did that woman say to you now? She must simply be a beast.”
Riley dabbed a tissue at her eyes. No matter how hard she tried, she hadn’t been able to stop the tears falling for almost two hours. It was as if the announcements of her past had loosed some great reservoir that had been building inside and now the dam had finally burst. She didn’t tell her story often. She only told it when it needed to be told. And she had never told it the way she had regurgitated it all out to Laine. But something about that woman’s arrogance had unglued her.
“No, she’s not a beast,” Riley said, blowing her nose.
Mia sat down in one of the chairs across from her desk. “You’re being too kind. Anyone who has the ability to make your eyes look like that has to be a beast.”
“I’m a mess, huh?”
“Frightful. If I’m being honest.” Even Mia’s Australian accent didn’t help that statement go down any better. “Let’s get out of here and get some lunch. Did you even have breakfast?”
Riley shook her head. The thought of how Laine had stood her up again made a few more tears fall. She dabbed madly. “This is crazy. I haven’t cried like this in years. I don’t understand why this woman has had this effect on me.”
Mia stood and motioned toward the door. “Come on. I’ll buy you one of those Dr Peppers you love.”
Riley gave a polite smile. “I’m really not hungry, Mia.”
Mia walked over to Riley and pulled her from her chair. “I know you’re not hungry, but you need food and you need a friend. So come on; I can help with both.”
It was true. Riley had been here for almost six months, and besides a few acquaintances at church and The Cove and Bart’s proposals of marriage, she hadn’t even had time to make a real friend. She had no one to hang out with, watch a chick flick with, or get to know other than Max and his wife. She yielded t
o Mia’s tug. “You’re right. I’d like that.”
“Want to go to Mosaic?”
“No, I want junk food. I want a burger with blue cheese and French fries.”
Mia smiled wildly. “I knew I liked you.”
They took a seat at one of the bistro tables by Cain pool. Riley watched a few of the men, their walks slow and easy. She was certain that their cadence on a workday would be completely different. She settled into her chair and was grateful for the ease of life this place offered. People ate slower here, talked longer, reconnected with the people they loved, and stopped for a few days to forget about the pressures that existed back at home. It didn’t matter where they were from—north, south, east, or west—one thing was common among each of them: Paradise Island slowed them down enough to experience life instead of simply watching it pass them by.
Riley ordered enough lunch for two men. She sipped her drink while her ears caught the sounds of pulsating music as it pushed the morning a little farther from her mind. “Thank you, Mia. This really is what I needed.”
Mia wrapped her hands around her Diet Coke and nodded. “My pleasure. No one should cry alone.”
Riley laughed. “You know, I haven’t really made a good friend since I’ve been here.”
“That’s because you work all the time.” She brushed her wavy blonde hair over her shoulder, a stark contrast to her black silk, button-down, short-sleeved shirt.
“I do work a lot, but I’m still new here. But none of it will matter. I’m sure I’ll be fired by evening.”
Mia’s blue eyes widened and her eyebrows rose sharply. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, trust me. The way I talked to Laine, I’m surprised I haven’t already had a call from Max to pack my bags.” She took another sip and then moved her drink as the waitress set her burger down in front of her. “Maybe if I stay away from my phone, I can keep my job a couple more days.” She stared at the burger, her appetite suddenly gone.
Mia leaned over her plate of seviche and looked intently at Riley. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Riley leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, I do.”
“Tell me, then. I want to know.” Mia’s words rang as a friend’s would. A real friend, who until that moment Riley didn’t know she needed and at the same time didn’t know how she had lived without. She spent the next hour sharing her entire history with Mia—the accident, the depression, the alcoholism, the loss of Gabby, the loss of her marriage, Max’s friendship, and how he offered her this job to get her away from her past. When they had finished everything on their plates, she was pretty much finished with her life story. Mia had to set her fork down for much of Riley’s story. Horror, compassion—the full range of emotions had played across Mia’s face. When Riley was done, Mia reached over and laid a hand on top of hers.
“I’m so sorry, Riley. For everything. And there is no way you will lose your job over this. We’ll just have to let Max know everything that happened.”
“Oh, Max knows me well enough to know. It’s the others who don’t know me that will force his hand. And I can’t have him perpetually looking out for me. The contract the other day could have been a nightmare. No, it’s my fault. I have more self-control than that, and I still chose to act like a beast. Laine didn’t make me do any of that. I just allowed her to get to me. At the end of the day my actions are my responsibility. If I’ve learned anything through this journey of mine, it’s that.”
“You’re an amazing woman, Riley Sinclair.”
She laughed. “I’m a mess.”
“Thank you for sharing your story with me.”
“It’s your turn next. For a friendship to work, we have to know each other’s stories.”
“I’ll look forward to that.”
Riley wiped her mouth and set her napkin down beside her. “Well, since Max hasn’t fired me yet, we’d better get back to work.”
“May our other guests require far less maintenance.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Riley said, and they both raised their glasses one more time.
* * *
Tamyra rushed into Riley’s office, startling her. “Riley, Winnie’s bolted herself in her room and won’t come out.”
Riley skirted around the side of her desk. “Is she feeling okay?”
Tamyra was halfway out the door. “She won’t tell me anything. She asked me to leave her alone and to tell Laine that she wasn’t swimming with dolphins and that she wasn’t coming out of her room until she leaves on Saturday.”
Riley shook her head as she followed Tamyra out the door. “That doesn’t sound like her. Wonder what happ—” She stopped in her tracks as Laine opened the main door.
“Oh, Laine, glad I found you,” Tamyra blurted out. “Winnie won’t come out of her room. I have no idea what’s going on. I came down here to get Riley to help me, but I’m not sure we’ll be joining you for the dolphin experience.”
Laine’s expression was slightly startled. “Oh, okay. Well . . . I was just coming by to talk to Riley . . .”
Riley felt the thud in her gut. “You know, if it can wait, I think I really need to go see what’s wrong with Winnie.”
Laine stood there awkwardly. “Sure, yeah . . . sure. But let me come with you.”
“Well, come on then, you two,” Tamyra said, pushing past them and scurrying down the hall toward the elevators in The Cove’s lobby.
“Gerard, come with me,” Riley said as they swung through the lobby.
“Sure. Everything okay, Miss Riley?” he asked, following behind their sprinting high heels.
Riley pressed the button for the fourteenth flour and the doors closed behind them. “Not sure yet, but we’ll find out.”
Tamyra ran her hands through her black hair. “This is so odd. She was fine when I left her last night. She was excited about being with Laine this afternoon. So I don’t know what in the world happened in less than twenty-four hours. Though there was that brief incident at the pool yesterday.”
The elevator doors parted, and the four of them exited wildly and darted up the hall. “What do you mean by incident?” Riley asked.
“A man. Some neighbor from home or something. She freaked out about it.”
They came to Winnie’s door and Riley turned, the other three stopping abruptly as she did. “Now, we’ve got to calm down. Just let me talk and we’ll be fine. Okay?”
They all nodded obediently. She tapped lightly on the door. No answer. She knocked a little harder and leaned her ear to the door. Tamyra scooted her over so she could hear too.
“Winnie, it’s Riley. Tamyra was concerned about you and I came up to check on you.”
They could hear movement at the door. “That’s very nice of you, Riley, but tell Tamyra I’m fine. Just not feeling real well right now. I honestly only want to be alone. And I can see Tamyra’s shadow right there beside you.”
“She was just concerned. If you’re sick, Winnie, maybe we can get something sent up to you. Or I could take you down to the clinic and have the doctor check on you.”
“What I’ve got, a doctor can’t fix.” Her voice was harsh. What Riley was able to hear of it, anyway.
“Miss Winnie, please let me come in and sit with you. I won’t bother you; I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Riley thought for sure Winnie had her head leaned up against the door. “I’m fine.” Her voice was calmer. “Honestly, girls, I don’t need anything. I’m just an old woman who is used to time alone and needs some of it now.”
“This is ridiculous,” Laine muttered from behind Riley.
Riley turned her head quickly to Laine and raised her right eyebrow. “We don’t need commentary.” She turned back to the door. “Do you promise you’ll let us know if we can bring you something? We want you to have whatever you need.”
“I have everything I need. But thank you.” Riley could have sworn her voice cracked.
Tamyra turned and paced in the hall. “She’s c
rying. I can tell. She’s in there crying and we have no idea why.”
Laine turned around. “She’s a woman. We cry all the time and people have no idea why. Shoot, half the time we have no idea why.”
Riley turned toward all of them. Gerard backed up. “Well, she wants to be alone, so let’s give her some space.”
“Give me that key, Gerard,” Laine said, holding out her hand.
“We’re not going in on her, Laine. She sounds fine, and we’re not intruding into her privacy,” Riley said, the authority in her voice obviously understood by both Gerard and Tamyra.
Laine didn’t budge. She stood there, hand outstretched, pointed straight at Gerard. “Give me the key, Gerard.”
“Don’t you dare, Gerard.”
Riley almost felt sorry for Gerard. He looked like a rat caught in a catfight. He turned slightly toward her, which gave Laine the access she needed to his back pocket and the key. In a second she had swiped it from his shiny white pants and stuck it in the lock of Winnie’s door. No one even realized what she had done until they heard the clicking of the handle.
“We’re coming in, Winnie, whether you want us to or not,” Laine announced as she bounded into the suite.
Winnie was sitting on the edge of the sofa; her head darted toward the door. “I told y’all to leave me alone!” she shouted. “I just wanted some peace.”
Laine walked over to her. “You’re on vacation; who needs peace on vacation? If there’s something so horrible that it has you stowed away in your room, we need to know about it.”
Tamyra walked over and knelt at the edge of the sofa. “Miss Winnie, please tell me what happened.”
Riley gave Gerard’s key back to him and motioned for him to leave the room. She knew he was grateful. Riley stepped into the sitting area, walked over to the sofa, and sat down on its arm. “Winnie, I’m sorry. Ms. Fulton took Gerard’s key and busted in your door.”
Winnie glared at Laine. “Well, she shouldn’t have. Fancy schmancy author or not, a woman deserves her privacy.”
Riley glared at Laine. “You’re right; she shouldn’t have. And we are all now leaving to give you some time to yourself.”
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