“No,” I said.
“You should before this ends,” Audrey said. “That’s a story you can tell for the rest of your life.”
“I think marrying him in Vegas while drunk is all the story I need,” I said.
“You are wild, Wren,” Audrey said. “Glad to have you back.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“Come on,” Audrey said. “You used to be the wildest of us all. I miss that side of you.”
“I was never… wild…”
“Yes, you were,” Lola said. “Do you remember the night we forgot the tickets to that one concert? I forget the band. Shoot. Whatever. You flashed the band’s roadies to get us inside.”
“I had nice breasts back then,” I said.
“Back then?” Audrey asked. “You act like you’re an old woman.”
“Leave me alone,” I said.
“No way,” Lola said. “This is way too much fun.”
“This is not fun for me,” I said.
I smiled.
Thankfully Lola and Audrey weren’t near me to see me smile.
“Are you sure nothing else is going on here?” Audrey asked. “There was some chemistry between you and Jay.”
“No, there wasn’t,” I said. “It was all for show. Goodbye.”
They both yelled my name as I hung up.
“Chemistry,” I whispered.
I shook my head.
There was no chemistry.
Jay showed up out of nowhere to jump into that interview. And then he took me to his beach house where he had naked people wandering around like they were clothed. That woman’s bush was going to haunt my dreams.
I snorted and laughed.
What about Jay’s bush?
I shook my head.
I blushed.
The last thing I needed to think about was Jay naked.
I got home to find Bethany gone.
She had been replaced by another nurse.
It was Sue.
She was nice. But she wasn’t Bethany.
“How’s Grams?” I asked.
“Good,” Sue said. “Last time I saw her she was napping.”
I crept toward the room and opened the door.
Seeing Grams with her eyes shut and head to one side always made my heart skip a beat.
I feared the worst.
It was going to happen.
I was going to enter the room one day and she was going to be gone.
My feet shuffled across the floor and I reached out with two fingers to touch her neck.
When she was napping, I always checked her pulse.
Please, please, please, please…
Pleading in my head to control a fate that was totally uncontrollable.
It was a terrible way to live but I had no choice.
As my fingers inched closer to Grams’s neck, I swallowed hard.
“I’m not dead, you fool,” Grams said.
I gasped and stepped back. “Don’t do that.”
Her eyes opened and she looked at me. “You don’t do that to me. When I’m gone, you’ll know.”
I took a deep breath. “Sorry. It’s just been a hectic day.”
“And, what, you thought you were coming home to find me dead?”
“Grams…”
“What?”
“It’s just… when Bethany isn’t here…”
“I know,” she said. “Sue talks to me. Christ. I don’t give a hoot about her garden. If she tells me one more time that she’s going to bring me some tomatoes, I’m going to buy a tomato and shove it up her ass.”
I smiled. “It’s good to see you alert.”
“Ah, hush up,” Grams said.
She pushed herself up in the bed. She groaned in pain.
“What hurts?” I asked.
She looked at me. “Everything.”
“Want me to get you your medicine?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t like that feeling. Being all loopy. I’m fine. Just old bones. Not the cancer. Believe it or not, I’m an old woman. I’m allowed to feel aches and pains.”
“I know,” I said. “I just want you to be comfortable.”
“Want to know what would make me comfortable?”
“What, Grams?” I asked.
She waved her finger at the TV. “You telling me what’s going on with that musician. I saw you two on the TV. Standing together. Talking. Those goddamn reporters were trying to lie about you.”
“I know, Grams. Just…”
“Don’t let them ruin your marriage,” she said. “I’m so happy for you.”
She smiled and her eyes twinkled.
My heart sank.
And it ached.
“Thanks,” I said.
“When do I get to meet him?” Grams asked.
“Oh. Well… he’s flying to Seattle for a show. But maybe after that.”
“I need to meet him,” she said. “Come on, Wren. You’re not ashamed of me, are you?”
“What? No.”
“I know I don’t look good. I can’t help it. I know my hair is thinned out. I’m all boney and flapping skin. But I’m still a person…”
Oh, fuck…
My eyes welled with tears. “Grams. You’re more beautiful than I’ve ever remembered you as.”
“That’s horse shit.”
“Grams…”
“Well, then why haven’t I met him?”
Grams looked ready to cry.
I started to scramble.
“Let me give him a call then,” I said. “Okay?”
I stepped out of the bedroom and sucked in a deep breath.
I realized something…
I couldn’t divorce Jay.
If I did, it would kill Grams.
Grams would not let it go.
She wanted to meet Jay.
I spent the rest of the day and night thinking.
It took me a while to get Grams to get settled and fall asleep.
As for me, I was mostly awake, either staring at my phone, letting the screen burn my eyes into my brain. Or I just stared at the ceiling in the dark, letting my eyes play tricks on me as though I could see things moving across the ceiling.
I made it until about two in the morning before I sat up and grabbed my phone again and sent a text to Jay.
To my husband.
I was texting a rock star at two in the morning.
The thought of that alone was enough to make me shiver with excitement.
I wasn’t the hard-assed prude that my friends sometimes made me out to be.
It just had been… crazy.
Life had found a way to move so quick and had so many turns. And with each turn, I had to shed a little of myself to protect others. I wasn’t a hero. I wasn’t a martyr. I just wanted Grams to enjoy every second of her life.
Jay texted me back.
Really quick.
It’s early for a guy like me to be in bed. Unless I’m not alone ;)
I swallowed hard.
Now what?
My thumbs hung over the screen.
I had no idea what to say.
I have a favor to ask.
A favor to ask. Of my rock star husband.
Jay was quick. And smooth.
Come over and we’ll talk.
My heart skipped a beat.
We can text right now. It’s important.
My mind was already thinking.
I had twenty-four seven care for Grams. There was a nurse sleeping on the couch right at that moment. That was part of her care. Which meant…
If it’s that important, we should do it face to face. I’ll send a car. See you soon… wife.
My hands started to shake.
“Shoot,” I whispered.
Jay, we can talk on the phone.
I sent the text feeling desperate.
He replied way too quick again.
Too late. Car is on its way.
I stared at the text.
I should have
been asleep.
This was my fault. Again.
There was nothing I could reply with.
It was too late.
Look what you’ve done again, Wren.
Jay’s house was a mansion.
An obnoxious looking mansion. The exact kind of place where a rock star would spend way too much for no good reason other than to flex his bank account muscles.
I sat in the backseat of the car and looked at my phone as it drove up to the front of the house.
It was now almost three in the morning.
I was still awake.
And I was outside Jay’s house.
The car stopped and the giant front door opened.
For a second, I just laughed.
I felt like I was on some reality TV show or something. Or watching some terrible rich guy waiting to be interviewed about how big his house was.
I opened the door for myself and got out of the car.
Before I left the house, I made sure to change into something presentable and comfortable. No way I was coming over to Jay’s in pajamas. So for me that meant jeans and a hoodie. The most non-lawyer outfit in the world, but it made me happy.
Jay was in jeans and a t-shirt.
He looked like a rock star.
And he wasn’t afraid to show that off.
His jeans were ripped and stained - probably on purpose.
His t-shirt was faded and made to look junky, but it was far from that.
It hugged his arms and chest in a way that made me pause for a second.
I mentally slapped myself and reminded myself what I was doing there.
“Is that car staying?” I asked Jay.
He grinned and pointed.
I looked over my shoulders and the car started to drive away.
“Great,” I whispered.
I walked up the rest of the steps and Jay grabbed my hand.
“What in the world are you doing up so late, Wren?” he asked with a laugh.
“I wanted to talk to you,” I said.
“Then let’s talk,” he said.
When we entered his house, I just laughed.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
I had never seen a house like this before.
Twists and turns, big, everything clean and shiny, marble and everything… rock star. Guitars on the walls. Albums on the walls. Glass cases built into the walls with items that must have meant something to Jay from the band.
We ended up near the back of the house in a room with a bar.
There was a window on each side of the bar and I could see the colorful glow of what I assumed to be the pool.
When I stepped up to the window and looked outside, I gasped.
“Don’t mind it,” he said as he poured us each a drink. “They’re always here. It’s like they came with the house.”
I blinked fast as I watched four - not one, or two or even three… but four - topless women as they lingered around the pool.
Two were in the pool, two were outside the pool.
One of the two in the pool had breasts so big, they just kind of floated and bounced on top of the water.
Why am I looking at this?
“Have a drink, sweetheart,” Jay whispered from right next to me.
I side stepped and looked up at him.
I took the glass from his hand.
“Did you fuck them?” I blurted out.
“What?”
“Is that what they are? You pay women to fuck you?”
“I haven’t had sex tonight, Wren,” Jay said. “Yet. Are you offering?”
“What? No. Never.”
“Never say never,” he said. “We’re married. It’s only natural we get to that point, right?”
“I did not come over here for this. And if you think having naked women around you all the time is going to make me want you, you’re mistaken.”
“I’m just being myself,” Jay said. “Cheers.”
He tapped his glass to mine and took a drink.
I did the same.
It was straight whiskey.
Straight fire down my throat into my stomach.
I put the glass down and shook my head.
“So why did you need to talk to me?” Jay asked.
I walked around the bar to put distance between us. “Grams. My grandmother. She wants to meet you. She’s excited that I’m married. This is real to her. And I’m in a tough position.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to lie to her. But I don’t want to hurt her.”
“How would you hurt her?”
“Jay, the truth would hurt her. All she’s ever wanted was for me to be happy.”
“You said that before,” Jay said. “So you want to keep being married for her sake?”
“I want you to meet her. But please don’t be… this.”
Jay smiled. “I am who I am, Wren.”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “But she’s an old woman. She’s dying of cancer. She just got done watching herself on that stupid gossip channel. She’s confused. I just want her to meet you. I want her to feel that happiness for a little while until I figure this all out.”
Jay put his glass down and moved toward me. “Okay. That’s fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure,” he said. “You’re my wife. We have to compromise.”
“Compromise?”
“Well, I have naked women all over my house. I’m half tempted to fuck at least two of the four out there. It won’t mean anything, Wren. It’ll just be fun and need.”
“Right. So you cheat on me and it’s okay as long as you do a favor for me.”
“Cheat?” Jay asked. “We have to be together for me to cheat. Are we together?”
I shook my head. “That’s not what I meant.”
He was an inch from me.
Staring down at me.
My body decided right then to be tired.
I fought the urge to yawn but couldn’t help it.
“Tired,” he whispered. “Finally, huh?”
“It’s been on my mind all day and night. I should go home. I told you we could have texted or just talked.”
“This is better,” he said. He right hand slowly touched my face. “And why rush back home. We can go together. In the morning.”
“Excuse me?”
“Wren. Be real. By the time I get a car here and you get home and get settled…”
“What are you suggesting then, Jay?” I asked.
I was suddenly so tired, slightly turned on, and could taste whiskey on my tongue.
Jay smiled. “Spend the rest of the night - or early morning - right here… with me.”
15
JAY
Four topless beauties were out at the pool.
I knew them all by name.
Had I slept with them all at one point or another?
Of course I had.
That didn’t mean anything though. Those moments were kept for pleasure. For fun.
I didn’t like to be alone.
It was a secret that not many knew about me.
The closest I ever came was when I’d go to the beach house to get a little writing done for new songs. Or to clear my head when the city noise got to be too much.
But here in the city, I didn’t like when the house was empty.
The point was… four topless beauties were out at the pool. I could have stepped outside and snapped my fingers and had all four on their knees before me. I could have watched as all four fought over my cock like hungry dogs with a fresh steak. I could have done anything…
I tossed another pillow to the bed and pointed to the windows.
“Those are mechanical,” I said. “You can adjust them if you want.”
“I’m setting my alarm for seven,” Wren said. “I want to get home for when Grams wakes up and has breakfast.”
“Seven in the morning,” I said.
“You’ll be awake too, right?”
I sat d
own on the corner of the bed. “Of course I will. I’ll just listen for your alarm.”
Wren looked at me. “What?”
“I can’t crash here with you?” I asked. “You want to sleep in this big room, in this giant house alone?”
She shook her head. “Do whatever you want, Jay. I just need to close my eyes.”
“Are you going to sleep in all those clothes?”
“Are you serious? Is this how you seduce someone?”
“Seduce…” I laughed. I stood back up. “No, sweetheart. If I wanted to seduce you…” I moved toward her. I slipped my hands into the front pocket of her hoodie. “I would just be all over you. I would never take my eyes off you. I would maybe remind you that there were four naked women outside who are at my command yet I’m here with you. I would slowly… gently…”
I lowered my mouth down to Wren’s ear and just sighed.
I felt her hands shaking as she touched my chest.
“I’m going to sleep in my clothes,” she said.
“Tell you what,” I said. “I’ll go to the bathroom and wash my face. You can at least take those jeans off. Get under the covers. I’ll sleep with my own covers. Deal?”
“Whatever,” she said. “I just want to go to sleep.”
I brushed my lips to her cheek. “Goodnight, my wife.”
I walked into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror.
After counting to ten, I went back into the room.
Wren was under the covers.
I turned off the lights and I joined her in the bed.
“Want to hear something funny?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“I’ve never slept in this bed before.”
“Oh?”
“There are a lot of beds I haven’t slept in. I don’t know. That just seems funny to me. All these rooms. All these beds. No use. Get some sleep, Wren.”
“Jay,” she said. “Please just think about what I said. About Grams.”
“Will do,” I said.
I reached over for Wren’s hand.
When I touched her, she gasped.
I smiled.
“So the woman I met in Vegas isn’t the woman in bed with me?” I asked.
“Jay…”
“I’m just asking questions. Getting to know you a little.”
“Why?”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Whatever you’re thinking… just stop thinking it.”
“I can’t help it,” I said. “I met this crazy and beautiful woman in Vegas. She looked delicious in a dress. She was flirty. She was bold. She asked me to marry her. But I saw beyond that. I saw someone jealous and hurt and desperate for a little fun. So that’s why I married her. I was hoping to meet that person to tell her it’s okay to have fun and still have a serious life.”
A FILTHY Marriage (Filthy Line Book 4) Page 13