There was a stunned silence. Fin was hiding his smile behind a hand, creased up with second-hand embarrassment. Needless to say, he wasn’t good at any kind of confrontation, including this warm-voiced, smiley-faced kind; he seemed about as floored as Geoff at all this. At least he was on the beneficiary side.
“Anyway,” I said. “I’ll let you think. I’ll probably come up to the office in a week or so to pick up my stuff, so we can dot some Is and cross some Ts then. Yes?”
“Uh…”
“All right, Geoff. Bye for now.”
I hung up, tossing my phone aside and opening my arms to make room for Fin’s giggling, eager embrace.
“I can’t believe you just did that.”
“No?” I stroked his hair, and shrugged. “I’m not leaving you for a second during this pregnancy. You’re not going to lift a damn thing other than your sweet self. If that means I have to play hardball with work, then… That’s how it is.”
“There’s no way they’re going to let you come back.”
I shrugged again. “If they don’t, they don’t. Seems like I’m going to be spending a lot more time away from Helena in the future, to say the least.”
Fin blinked, and I spared him from having to ask the question.
“I’m teasing you. Of course we’re going to live together. If they let me stay on after the new year and I have to commute for a while, that’s okay. If I have to set up my own business instead, well… It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve thought about it. Put it that way.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, will it make you happy?”
“Vaughn, of course it will. I’ve wanted you here with me since the start of all this.”
I hummed, tracing the line of his jaw with my thumb. “Then that’s all that matters. Whatever else we need to work out, it’ll all fall into place. Don’t worry about that.”
Fin leaned into my touch, eyes fluttering closed as I touched him. “I must have done something good in a past life, I think.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “You’ve been pretty fucking great in this one, too.”
He gave me a shy smile, stretching again and sinking back into the comfort of the couch. “You’re too sweet. But you know, I’m going to miss this place. I’ve gotten kind of used to this level of comfort instead of… y’know. Sharing with roommates and never being quite sure what various stains on the couch are.”
“Well. Why will you miss it?”
Fin bit his lip. “I figured you’d move in with me, since… money, and…”
I shook my head. “Ms. Khan has been hinting that she’d love to rent this place to me full-time for ages now — not just the weekend rates every time I come here. I guess Blackwater isn’t exactly the easiest town to rent out a house in.”
“It won’t be expensive…?”
“I won’t be renting in Helena anymore,” I reasoned. “And anyway, money, uh… that’s not really a problem for me.” Even the weeks-long trip to Europe, which had cost more money than I’d ever tell him, had only made a small dent in my savings. “I picked a good career, I guess.”
Fin kissed me on the cheek, and I drew him back to my lips for another. It felt like being blessed. I still couldn’t rid myself of the guilt of what I’d done to him. I’d be thinking about that pain for a long time, but that was probably a good thing. I had a hell of a lot of making up to do.
“So. We’ll live here…? You and me and baby?”
I grinned, kissing his forehead. “Sure will,” I promised. “If that’s what you want.”
///
When I’d experienced pregnancy from the sidelines, it had always seemed like a quick process. Every time I’d seen Lukas or Austin they had swollen to newer and more impressive sizes until, before I knew it, I’d been meeting a new, tiny member of our pack.
As it turned out, this was pregnancy on Beginner mode.
The transition to Advanced was… quite something.
I had always been kind of a useless cook. The fateful paella lesson in Madrid had only confirmed that — but I had insisted on taking over all culinary duties while Fin’s body was busy creating new life. That left me sweating and stressed over a set of three different bubbling pans, trying my best to prepare a variety of different vegetables and flavors. I had to satisfy both a mate enduring pregnancy cravings and the complex nutritional needs of two shifters sharing a body.
When I thought I heard sniffling over the sound of all this chaos, it was one plate too many to spin. The tortillas I’d been trying to heat started to burn, and I swore quietly as I pulled them away from the heat. After briefly checking that nothing else was going to suffer in my absence, I hopped out of the kitchen to find my beautiful, heavily pregnant omega dabbing a tissue under his eyes.
At a hip replacement commercial.
“Honey…”
He turned to face me with watery eyes, summoning me with a hand. “No, I… I know, Vaughn, but look.”
Fin rewound the commercial, continuing to wave until I dutifully perched beside him on the couch. When he hit play again, I cleared my throat. An actor — who, God love him, was not about to win any Academy Awards — was pretending to be in terrible hip pain, staring out of the window at a bunch of kids playing at the foot of a long, verdant garden.
“He can’t…”
“Uh-huh,” I said, rubbing Fin’s shoulder as he trailed off.
As the commercial continued, a stock, sad piano melody playing in the background, the colors in the ad faded to gray. Fin grabbed my hand.
“But-”
I bit my lip, determined not to laugh. His emotions were all over the place these days, and the depth he felt things at was both entertaining and completely adorable. I stopped trying to film these teary displays after he caught on to the practice and started blocking off the camera with his hand, but I still filed this story away in my mental cabinet. One day, I’d tell this story to our kid.
I cleared my throat, unexpectedly caught up by the power of that mental image. Okay. Maybe I was feeling a little sentimental too.
At least I wasn’t as turbulent as my mate. The commercial’s background music changed to something jazzy and cheerful as they announced their innovative new hip replacement device, and this daytime De Niro stepped out into the sun to play with his grandkids, pain-free.
“I mean — it’s just…” Fin shook his head, sniffing again.
I pulled him closer, giving him a firm kiss on the side of the head. “You’re okay, baby.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “It’s just how happy he is, when he steps outside. The look on his face.”
“Uh-huh?”
He gestured at the screen. “He gets to play with the kids,” he said, cut off by his own choked emotion. I kept my jaw clamped shut to guard against laughing, pressing another few fond kisses over his face.
“That’s adorable, Fin.”
“Isn’t that nice?” he insisted, dabbing at his eyes with the tissue again. “I just… You know. Some things in the world, Vaughn. They’re just nice.”
I stood up, smoothing his hair back away from his eyes. He gave me a wobbly smile. Whatever happiness the hip guy had after being able to play with his fake grandkids again, it wasn’t a patch on how I felt right now.
“Ah, Blondie. I really fucking love you.”
“Oh, Vaughn-”
“No, no-”
I sank back down to the chair as he burst into tears again, already prepared with open arms and a scattering of kisses, finally losing the battle against the grin on my face. Dinner was probably a little soggy by now, but we could deal with it. Having his happy, damp eyes pressed against my shirt, and hearing the muffled sound of his affection being given right back to me? That was definitely worth a few overdone vegetables in my book.
///
“Well, I’ve definitely been there,” said Owen as I came back into the room. After inviting him over to visit, Fin had promptly dozed off into a deep after
noon nap, hands fastened on top of his beautiful big belly. It was almost time now, and events like this had gotten more and more frequent as time went by.
I grinned, slipping back down into the couch. “Pregnant omegas, huh? Who’d have them?”
“Us, apparently. Even when they’re almost about to pop.” He smiled right back at me, sitting forward in his chair to look at me more closely. “You know… you’re looking really well.”
I waved a hand at him. “Oh, don’t start with that. I know, I know. You told me so.”
“Don’t you start with your hypermasculine bullshit,” he joked right back. “Seriously, Vaughn. Ryker’s noticed it too, and I’m pretty sure he has enough on his plate to occupy an entire government.”
I sighed. Maybe my mate was rubbing off on me, but this kind of talk made me shy. I didn’t like the idea of people tracking my happiness — spending their time concerned about me.
Clearly, everything had turned out well.
“I’m serious,” he said. “I know you don’t like talking about your feelings, and… all that shit. I get it. But after Kylie, I… I don’t know. I was worried about you. I know you hate that, but that’s tough shit. You worry about us, too.”
I tipped my head from side to side, conceding.
“I’ll say ‘I told you so’ as a joke,” he said. “And you can expect to hear that from me plenty. But actually, I’m just glad you put yourself out there. Spent a lot of years thinking it wouldn’t happen, and letting that be your excuse. It’s not easy to open up after that, and… man. It’s just good to see it working out for you. You’re glowing, V.”
I smiled down at my coffee, shaking my head. “I don’t know about all that. Now… Fin, on the other hand…”
Owen grinned. “Yeah, we can agree on that. Man. You have no idea how excited Lukas is that you guys are making it work. He’s already convinced our kids are going to be best friends for the rest of their lives.”
“No pressure, obviously.”
“No pressure, kids,” he agreed. “But if you don’t immediately take to each other, your dads are going to be very disappointed.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Sounds about right.”
“Speaking of which,” he said. “I don’t want to put any pressure on Fin either, but… I’m really hoping you have a girl. I want your life to become as consumed by raising a strong and empowered little princess too.”
“You know, we’re deliberately keeping it a surprise. Have at every ultrasound.”
“I know, I know. Don’t worry; I don’t know anything you don’t. No spoilers.”
“Hey, if you-” I cut myself off, hearing a strangled cry from upstairs.
There was no time to think. I didn’t say a word to Owen as I bolted to Fin’s side, heart already pounding out a heavy drumbeat. He wasn’t due for another couple of days, but I felt instinctively that it was happening now, and my whole body had gone into an adrenaline-flushed ‘go’ mode.
“I’m here, baby,” I assured him, striding into the bedroom and grabbing the go-bag off the dresser. “I’m right here. Are you okay?”
Fin nodded, forehead tense and jaw clenched as he rode out the contraction. He managed to speak after a few heavy breaths. “I’m okay, but it’s definitely happening.”
I squeezed his hand, slinging the bag over my shoulder. “Got it. I’m gonna load up the car, and then I’m coming back for you. Anything else you need?”
He shook his head, still recovering from the pain. I took my cue to dash back down the stairs and throw the go-bag into the truck. Owen was already clearing away the dishes and gave me a broad smile over the shoulder.
“Here we go, I guess?”
I nodded.
“Put it in my car,” he said, rinsing off the last of the glasses. “I’ll drive. You can sit in the back with Fin.”
“Okay.”
I did as he suggested, tossing the bag into his car, and came right back inside. As I walked past the door, Owen called out to me again.
“Uh, Vaughn? Don’t forget to breathe.”
I didn’t answer, climbing the steps as quickly as I could to get back to Finley’s side. When I got to the room, he had climbed out of bed, one hand clutching his stomach as he steadied himself.
“I’m here,” I said again, feeling like a broken record. The fact that I couldn’t take any of this pain or discomfort away from him was horrible. If we could just carry the burden between us…
I felt dizzy, and realized I should probably take Owen’s advice seriously. I wasn’t the one doing the hard work here, but Fin would want me present and with it for every step of this process, however long it took. That level of support was exactly what he was going to get — and that couldn’t happen if I passed out or didn’t take enough care of myself.
I wrapped my arm around him, carefully guiding him to the doorway and back down the stairs. “They’re still kind of far apart?”
“Uh-huh,” he said. “But I just… I just want to be there.”
“Of course, baby. We’ll stick to the plan.”
It seemed that Fin had adopted more of his mom’s anxiety than he realized. He rolled his eyes at me every time she called for one of her long, detailed chats about how he’d been taking care of himself, which had only gotten more frequent and extensive now that he was pregnant — but in our planning for the birth, he had admitted to being exceptionally worried about the whole thing. There were so many ways it could go wrong. Wouldn’t he be safest heading straight to hospital in Harrison?
Naturally, I wouldn’t dream of saying ‘no’. This day was about him and his needs. About making this labor as simple and easy to endure as possible.
He squeezed my hand as we stepped outside, and a beat later we came to a stop as he made a long, drawn-out moan of pain.
“Oh, Fin,” I said, feeling useless. “It’s okay. It’ll be over. You’ll be there before you know it, okay? And we’ll have doctors and nurses and painkillers, and you’ll be lying whatever way you need to.”
“Uh-huh.”
He was still riding out the contraction, but his eyes darted up to me for a brief moment — and as only a mate could, I understood immediately. He wanted me to keep talking. Wanted the distraction.
“We’ll get you propped up in a nice bed, all cozy with pillows. Might even put those architect muscles to use and build you a complicated pillow fort, huh? Though I don’t think the nurses would be too happy about that.” I glanced over my shoulder, and saw Owen leaving the house. Thankfully, he had the presence of mind to bring our keys, and to lock the door behind us. I was lucky to have a friend like him. “And I guess the view is going to be pretty nice there. I think Lukas said that the birthing wards have beautiful big windows. Let a lot of light in.”
He began to take staggering steps towards the cars again. Moving with him, I steered him towards Owen’s, helping him carefully into the back seat.
“Oh, god, Vaughn. I don’t know if I can do this.”
“You’re doing great, baby,” I told him. “Keep doing your breathing. And once we’re there in the hospital, I can read to you, just like we planned. Maybe listen to some music.”
“Uh-huh.”
He closed his eyes, leaning back against the headrest. The contraction seemed to have passed now, but I still kept tight hold of his hand, giving Owen a grateful smile as he climbed into the car and waited for us to belt up. It was much better this way. I would have been happy to drive, but now I could sit right here and endure this with Fin, insofar as I could do that. He had my hand to hold, and my voice in his ear, and we could both focus on the boundless joy that was about to come into our lives.
Our life.
“Okay,” said Owen. “We’re going. Let me know if you need to stop. Otherwise… destination Harrison.”
20
Finley
It was like no pain I’d ever known before — not just because of the depth and intensity of it, but because it was accompanied by a sense of pu
rpose and happiness that had my heart and head pounding. As the gaps between my contractions grew shorter and shorter, I knew I was getting closer to meeting this blessing that had beamed into our life.
I’d endure anything for them. Anything at all.
Vaughn was a perfect pillar of strength at my side, letting me squeeze his hand as hard as I had to without complaint. He’d read the same chapter to me three times now, since every time I realized I hadn’t been concentrating enough on the story to figure out what was happening. The cadence of his voice was just soothing — and I liked to think that went for baby as much as it did for me.
This must be a stressful time for Tiny, after all. What a rude awakening into consciousness, all surrounded by prodding doctors and nurses, and with the smell of disinfectant in the air. Part of me understood some wolves’ desire to give birth out in nature.
The rest grimaced at the thought of the germs, and that pseudo-debate was over.
I groaned as another, stronger contraction hit me. Vaughn held my hand, and stroked the back of it with the other. “Okay, sweetheart. It’s okay. You’re almost there now. They’ll be ready for you soon.”
I inhaled sharply, nodding my way through the pain. Every second felt like the last moment I could bear it, but it just kept mounting and mounting — and this time, it wasn’t fading away.
“I can’t wait any more,” I choked, head falling back against the pillow. “I can’t. I need it. Tell them, Vaughn.”
“They’re coming, Fin. I promise. I… see, here comes the obstetrician now. He’s here.”
“The anesthetist, actually,” the doctor corrected, with a friendly smile. “It’s cool, though. I think I’m about to be your new best friend. I’ve looked at your charts and all the calculations are done, so I’m just going to inject you with a local anesthetic and get you ready for this. Okay?”
Claiming My Omega: Blackwater Pack: Book 2 Page 18