by Jean Oram
He gestured for him to continue, and Ryan wondered how he could ever doubt that his brother would have his back.
“Coach? What is it?” Hernandez called out.
Ryan leaned in, his focus back on his team. “We’ll play like we’ve never played before. Literally.”
As he outlined the plan, his brother listened thoughtfully. “I think that could work,” Myles finally said, admiration in his gaze as he nodded at Carly.
“Should we try it?” Ryan asked his team.
“Yes!” they yelled back, and he grinned. They were sweaty and exhilarated. They had the right energy to catch up with the other team and maybe even surpass them.
“Let’s go show them the best game we can give them,” Ryan said.
“We’ve got this, Coach,” his quarterback called. “And nice choice on the babe.”
“Babe?” Ryan asked in an unimpressed tone, eyebrows raised.
“She’s hot and she knows football. Totally perfect for you.” Hernandez aimed his pointer fingers, waiting for him to do the same. With a reluctant sigh, Ryan mimicked the gesture and carried through with a “Huzzah!”
He had a feeling that sharing that one simple kiss with Carly had just altered some major things in his life.
And he felt ready for it.
“You and Ryan?” Jackie practically jumped on Carly in her excitement as they left the field after the Torpedoes won the game. They were officially heading for the state championship final game in Dallas next week. Well, the team was. Carly might not be able to make it due to that stupid court case. Her business partnership with Eaton just kept messing up her life, didn’t it? She’d be in Montana on Tuesday for the preliminary hearing, but hopefully be released in plenty of time to get back for Friday’s game.
Jackie was nattering on to herself about how she’d known it, and how right Carly and Ryan were for each other.
“Man, that game,” Carly said on an exhale, breaking her friend’s stream of chatter. She was still reeling from the stress of trying to play it cool and not get sucked into what had almost turned into a tie-breaker. A crazy play had led to their last-minute win. Carly had nearly thrown the tablet in the air as she’d jumped out of her chair in excitement.
She’d glanced over, ready to share the moment with Ryan, but he’d looked so solemn she’d sat again, aware she might break a sidelines superstition with her enthusiastic cheering.
“Are you trying to change the subject?” Jackie asked.
“Maybe a bit,” she admitted.
It hadn’t taken the other team long to figure out what the Torpedoes were doing with their mix-up à la Carly, but it had been key to evening the score. And that’s all the Torpedoes had needed, their unpredictability unhinging their opponents enough that they could slip past and win. And it felt great. Really great. She’d earned her spot on the sidelines, and nobody could argue that she’d been placed there for any reason other than she was good. Carly hadn’t realized how much the possibility of people thinking she was there for anything other than her merit had been stressing her out.
Her life was finally becoming hers, and she was becoming the person she’d always wanted to be. And strangely enough, that was in part due to Ryan and their “casual” relationship, not from being alone.
Maybe wearing a reminder ring hadn’t been what she’d needed. Maybe she’d needed to surround herself with people who cared enough not to take over her life and dreams. Kind people who wouldn’t crush them into the ground as they used her as a stepping stone for their own lives. If she’d realized there were people like Ryan who wanted to help her get to the spot she’d marked on the map for herself, she would have sought them out ages ago.
“How long have you two been together?” Jackie demanded. She’d tried to ask that when they’d returned to the field for the second half, but Carly had shut her down, needing to call on intense focus to pull herself together after that hot kiss in the locker room. “Was that the first time you kissed? Because that was seriously steamy, and if that was your first—” She stopped abruptly. “That wasn’t your first, was it? Y’all have been telling us the truth, but saying it sarcastically or ironically so we’d run right past it.”
They had been walking toward the parking lot where the bus was waiting, but now Jackie turned, hands on her hips. “How long have you two been sneaking around?”
“About three weeks.”
“Three weeks!”
“Depends how you count.” Carly pulled her hands inside the sleeves of her jacket to shield them from the December wind.
Her friend’s eyes grew enormous. “You have got to be kidding me.” Then she froze. “Wait. Were you together before we started this stats thing?”
Carly smiled.
“No.” Jackie clutched her head. “That means this one doesn’t count.”
“What are you talking about?”
She was spinning in slow circles as though she’d lost her way, and Carly began directing her toward the bus. “Are you okay?”
“Three weeks?” Jackie let out a lengthy sigh.
“Hey,” called Levi. He was with Laura, Brant and April. Kurt was riding on Brant’s shoulders and wearing the man’s red game hat.
Carly and Jackie waved back and waited for them to catch up. The team was already mostly on the bus, with Ryan and Myles waylaid by yet more press outside the field.
“I can’t break the chain,” Jackie moaned.
“The chain?” Carly stared at her.
“If you don’t count, then what about Brant?” Her voice hitched as she added, “What about Cole?”
“Who’s Cole again?”
Jackie stared at her, crestfallen.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Brant asked her. “Didn’t you hear we won?”
“Carly and Ryan were a thing before I took her to the game,” she said glumly.
“Oh, that means…” Laura paused, her expression falling like Jackie’s had. She caught herself and closed her mouth.
“Is this a superstition?” Carly asked.
“Jackie believes that if she can get the four brothers—” Laura began.
“Hush! It sounds stupid if you say it out loud.” Jackie clapped her hands over her ears and turned away.
“You’ve heard of Jackie’s thing about taking friends to football games, and they end up in a relationship?” Laura asked, ignoring her pleas to remain quiet.
Carly nodded.
“Well, she was two-for-two this season, and was hoping for a higher number. Specifically, in the Wylder family.”
“I was three-for-three,” Jackie said with a deep frown, then a glare at Carly. “But she went and kissed Ryan before I could take her to a game.”
“You’re taking credit for Karen and Myles?” April asked. “They’re always on the field together, with her and cheer, and him and football.”
“Yes,” Jackie said with exaggerated patience. “It’s complicated, April, but yes.”
“Then why can’t you count Ryan and me? They were just kisses.” Although they were more than that now. Ryan was officially her boyfriend.
“Is that why you saved me a seat today?” Brant asked Jackie, cutting his eyes to April, who turned red.
“Jackie likes Cole,” April revealed quietly, and Jackie refused to meet anyone’s eyes.
“And so she figured if she hooked up all four brothers at games this season, then maybe…” Laura cast a glance at Levi, who had the grace to look sad that Jackie’s plan seemed to have been foiled.
“Then maybe he’d come back?” Levi said softly, draping an arm across Jackie’s shoulders.
“Yeah. Yup. And I only like him as a friend,” Jackie said, shrugging off the gentle embrace. “Who’s hungry?” She began marching away. “Let’s tell the bus driver to get moving to the hall so we can have our potluck supper.”
“That was awkward,” April said, looking at Brant with pink cheeks. He shrugged, his expression unreadable as he shifted Kurt on his shoulders, making
the boy laugh. He begged him to do it again, so Brant shuffled around in circles, making horse sounds as he went.
“So? You and Ryan?” Levi asked Carly, as they began moving toward the bus. “You’re a thing, huh?”
“We are,” she said. Admitting it out loud caused her chest to expand with happiness. She glanced down at her chilly hands. The familiar wedding band that had once given her a sense of security now felt so wrong. It was no longer a reminder to focus on herself, but an old habit that no longer served her. It was time to make a change.
“He can be a royal pain in the butt,” Levi warned.
“It’s okay. So can I,” she murmured, knowing that she and Ryan were a good match. In fact, they might even be perfect.
After the potluck supper, Ryan snagged Carly to go out for a quick walk before they got on the bus to return to Sweetheart Creek. Only one more week on the field with her, then taking what he thought of as their postgame walk. It was like when he’d slept in the stable, monitoring Blackberry, and each morning Carly would come out, her face still soft from sleep, a cup of coffee in each hand. They’d sit on a bale outside the door, a thick blanket wrapped around their shoulders, chatting, sipping coffee and enjoying the sunrise with their dogs sleeping on their feet. It had felt like this. Private, intimate. It was something he’d miss when their routine changed. But maybe they’d find a new routine, new habits.
It was almost mid-December and soon he’d be off for Christmas break. Maybe they could go on an official date. They could drive over to Riverbend to see a movie, or work on her farm, go for a trail ride on their ranches, attend a barn dance or enjoy a backyard fire and some of his home brew.
“Do you drink beer?” he asked, his hand tucked in hers as night set in around them.
“I do. Hey. So what’s with April and Brant?”
Ryan shrugged, then realized he could tell Carly anything. It didn’t matter if he knew the answer or not.
“I think something’s up,” he admitted.
“You think?” She laughed, then, catching his expression, apologized. “Something romantic?”
“He bought her a house.”
“So you think it’s serious?”
“They’ve always been close.” Ryan shook his head, thinking of the predicament April had gotten herself into with Heath. “Her husband’s a bit of a jerk.”
“I think I remember him from rodeo. A bull rider who liked to end conversations by using his fists?”
“That sounds like him. April always had an interest in making life lively.” Although it appeared she’d finally tired of it.
Ryan had been about twenty-three when she married Heath Thompson, and preoccupied with other things at the time, such as getting over what was supposed to have been a one-year anniversary with Priscilla. He had paid little attention to April’s life until recently.
“I don’t know why she married Heath and not Cole,” he mused. “Maybe Heath was ready to settle down or something.”
“So she dated Cole?”
Ryan tucked their joined hands between his arm and ribs to keep them warm. “They were always on again, off again.”
“That’s awkward if Cole comes back and Brant’s playing house with April, don’t you think?”
Ryan paused, then nodded.
“But Jackie likes Cole and wants him to come home for her?” Carly pressed.
Ryan slowed near a park bench in the grassy area behind the hall. Why were they talking about his brothers when they could be kissing?
“We all want him to come home. Jackie just wants anyone with the last name Wylder.”
“Is Henry available?” Carly asked with a giggle.
Ryan released her hand and slid his arms around her waist. “Funny.”
“Why did Cole leave?”
“Not sure.”
Carly let out a long, slow exhale, her concern for April and Brant clear when she said, “April’s still married.”
“Things are going to get messy,” he agreed.
“I hope Brant’s a good fighter.”
“He was the one who broke up the fights when we were kids and forced us to talk it out.”
Carly grimaced, and Ryan snuggled her closer. “I’m sure it’ll all work out.”
“If not, hopefully April’s first aid certification is up-to-date. Life gets so complicated sometimes when we follow the wrong path, doesn’t it?” she added, a wrinkle forming between her brows.
Ryan finally stole a sweet kiss from the woman in his arms. She ended it before he was ready to, her mind obviously too busy to focus on kissing right now. “You know that business deal I was involved in that ended poorly?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“There’s more to it than the business just falling apart.”
He could sense her hesitation, and that old feeling of shame and the need to push his feelings aside reared up inside him again. They’d both had big failings, and when she talked about her past it always reminded him of his own. Trusting people when he shouldn’t have. Being blindsided by deceit. It all made him feel stupid, and he just wanted to ignore it all and move on with his life. He didn’t want to hash it out. Not even with Carly. They’d connected over their past errors in judgment, and that was enough for him.
“There are still some loose ends I need to take care of in Montana. On Tuesday,” she stated.
“You’ll be back for State?”
She nodded.
“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.” He snugged his arms around her.
“I feel you should know the details about where I’m going and what I’m doing.”
“We’re independent, remember? It’s not necessary to check in with me.” He trusted her, and didn’t need her ETA or a list of who she was going to be meeting with. “Your life is your life. Mine is mine. I’m not planning on judging you for your past mistakes. I understand, remember? We’re moving forward. Fresh start.”
She sighed at his light tone. Finally, she said, “I want you to know I’ll be here for you when I can. You’re important to me.”
“You’re important to me, too.” He couldn’t imagine what his days would be like if she wasn’t around.
Her voice was forced, like she was pushing through something based on sheer willpower, and his heart broke for her as she said, “I don’t want you to lose faith in me because I was stupid and naive and allowed my business partner to ruin everything.”
She choked up, her eyes filled with pain and regret, and Ryan could see her fear. She feared he didn’t care enough to be able to overlook her past mistakes. If only she knew that her imperfections made her even more precious to him.
He clasped her cheeks with his hands, bringing her forehead to his. “I would hate to be with someone who made no mistakes. I like being with someone who understands how turning a blind eye can mess up a person’s life. It allows them to appreciate it when something great comes along. That’s who you are to me, Carly. I won’t ever think you’re stupid. We’ve both been hoodwinked by others. That’s part of our past. It’s not part of our future.”
She gave him a ghost of a smile, then opened her mouth to say more. He shushed her. “Remember? We’re a thing, and that thing is good. Forget the past, Carly. All we have is the future. I trust you.”
Carly continued to walk with Ryan, mulling over why she’d yet again given up on telling him the details of how she’d been blindsided by her former business partner, and how she had been subpoenaed to attend a preliminary hearing before the trial. They considered her a witness, but she didn’t trust the lawyers, the courts, or the decisions that had already been made. Things could get twisted. She could be thrown in the line of fire once again. It could still be her on the stand getting ripped apart.
She would fight with everything she had to ensure it didn’t happen, and that Eaton got what was coming to him, not her.
She needed to believe in the system. And that was not an easy thing to do.
But Ryan was right. She neede
d to focus on the future. A future bright with opportunities. One that would differ from her past.
The problem was that the trouble from her past could change Ryan’s perception of her. She’d tried to tell him. And yet the way he’d looked at her so tenderly, his words, his trust… It had all combined in a power she’d been unable to overcome, and she’d lost the courage to confess everything.
He was right. They were great as they were. Independent. It was becoming a relationship, but it wasn’t like they were looking for love and forever, right? He still wanted distance, and he didn’t want the gory details of her past. Was it wrong that she didn’t insist on telling him, even though she wanted to share that part—all parts—of her life with him?
Thankfully, her Montana court appearance wouldn’t affect her ability to take stats at State. She’d fly out on Monday night for Tuesday’s court date and be back in time for Friday’s morning game in Dallas. She wouldn’t have to experience letting Ryan down.
As though sensing her mood, he gave her hand a squeeze before pointing at a fox squirrel nibbling on a stale piece of bread just off the path. They took a few steps, sending the squirrel scampering, before Ryan paused, a thoughtful look in his blue eyes. He lifted her hand, linked with his, and stared at her bare ring finger for a long moment.
Carly’s doubts about what she’d done earlier in the day ate at her. Maybe it had been too soon to remove the ring. Maybe it had represented something to him that had felt safe.
But she wanted to be fully free to enter this relationship with Ryan. She didn’t want to hide behind that ring any longer.
Just like she didn’t want to hide her legal issues. But one thing at a time, right? She’d find a way to tell him before she left on Monday.
“You took it off?” he said, blinking at her.
She looked at her bare finger, then up at him, unable to mask her hope. She could see him thinking. He didn’t believe he could be the man she needed. He didn’t know how far he could trust her. He worried she was trapping him. What if his gut was leading him astray?