by Jean Oram
Brant was silhouetted under the light.
“What are you doing here so late at night?” Ryan demanded.
“What are you doing having a heart attack on my front walk? I’m not insured against that, you know.”
“Family shouldn’t sue each other.”
“Doesn’t mean they won’t.”
“Are you and April a thing, or are you doing that fake boyfriend thing to scare off Heath? I heard he’s not letting her go without a fight.”
Brant came down the steps, stopping a few feet away. “I was babysitting. April needed to pick someone up at the airport.” He watched Ryan for a long minute before asking, “Since when do you go for a run in blue jeans?”
Ryan looked down. He was wearing a button-up flannel shirt, jeans and a pair of old running shoes he hadn’t bothered to lace up. The clothes were stuck to him, the air chilly, but he hadn’t noticed until now as the sweat dried. In fact, he’d barely even noticed Joe panting happily beside him, the leash loose in Ryan’s grip.
“Are you trying to start rumors?” Ryan asked, pointing toward the house. “Her divorce papers are still unsigned.”
Brant had been petting Joe, and straightened. “Since when do you care about anyone’s opinion? And the papers were signed yesterday. It’s almost final.”
“I care about you,” Ryan said. “What? Don’t look so surprised. You know I care.”
“Ditto.” Brant was watching him out of the corner of his eyes, his head tipped down, as though afraid if he gazed at Ryan straight on it might spook him. His brother spent too much time around animals. It would take a lot more than talking about feelings to spook Ryan.
Brant was watching, waiting.
Why had he come here? Was he hoping his brother would absolve his feelings of guilt?
With Priscilla he hadn’t felt this heart-wrenching sense of loss that made his entire body hurt, made him want to curl up in bed and sleep until he felt okay again.
“You broke up with Carly, didn’t you?” his brother asked. Ryan let out a long sigh and Brant shook his head. “You’re too independent for your own good.”
“So’s she.”
“I thought it might work for your benefit, but I guess being a couple takes a lot more than that.”
“But we were happy. We were both independent and yet together. It worked, Brant. It really did.” He caught the look of doubt in his brother’s gaze.
“It did?” Brant asked, the skepticism in his voice thick enough to spread over a piece of bread.
He’d thought it had. Obviously he’d been wrong.
Ryan aimed his gaze to the night sky above, the streetlight on the corner not quite masking his view of the stars. It was beautiful, and he wished he could share the heavens with Carly.
He swallowed hard, knowing he’d messed up. She’d come to him tonight to work things out and, instead of letting her in, he’d used the truckload of cruising students as an excuse to avoid talking about his fears and how he’d felt when he’d looked over to find her gone from the sidelines that afternoon.
“She let me down,” he said, knowing he had actually let himself down. He just wasn’t sure where he’d started and where it all ended—or if it even had.
13
Carly sat hunched in a booth at the diner, with April and Laura across from her, Jackie at her side.
“Y’all want a warm-up?” Mrs. Fisher asked, waving her coffeepot. She had tiny green and red gems stuck in her teased hair to celebrate the quickly approaching Christmas Day.
Jackie held out her cup. “Yes, please.”
Mrs. Fisher topped it up, then hovered the pot over Carly’s mug. She shook her head, scooting it out of reach. She had the mix of cream and sugar just right and adding more coffee would ruin it.
“Very exciting to have the boys win State.” Mrs. Fisher gave a low whistle, giving a slow shake of her head. “Ryan sure took a risk not accepting that forfeit. I don’t know if he’s a crazy fool, or the best darn coach this state has ever seen with iron-strength courage and conviction.”
“Hey, Mrs. Fisher,” Karen Hartley said, squeezing in beside Jackie and folding her coat in her lap. She half stood again, stretching to snag one of the clean cups sitting upside down on the table across the aisle. The waitress filled it without question while patting her teased hair.
“He knew all along that the Torpedoes could beat those cheaters,” Karen said, adjusting her dark-framed glasses. “Myles sure wasn’t happy though.”
“None of us were. Talk about sending our hearts racing.”
“It was worth it in the end,” Laura said.
“Sorry you missed the windup party, hon,” Mrs. Fisher said to Carly.
“Me too.”
“A family thing take you away?”
“Something like that.” She could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she took a sip of her coffee.
Seeing she wasn’t going to get an answer from Carly, Mrs. Fisher said, as the order-up bell rang, “I’ll bring you girls more cream and sugar.”
The diner was busy for a Thursday night, with Christmas decorations reminding Carly the holiday was mere days away.
“Your cheer team did well,” Laura said to Karen. She was sitting up straight, her posture perfect as always. “Has anyone heard how Robyn’s doing?”
As they started discussing local gossip Carly allowed her mind to drift. The past few nights had been sleepless, her thoughts on Ryan and what she could have done differently. She had about a thousand retorts she wished she’d said to Priscilla, a thousand ways to get that happily ever after with Ryan she still so dearly wanted.
As therapy, she’d spent hours with her hands in the dirt, planting her winter garden, and spreading the word that she would have fresh produce in a few months. It hadn’t helped her thoughts, but it got her closer to her farming goals.
“How about you?” Laura asked, reaching across the table to gently tap Carly’s hand.
“Sorry?”
“How are you holding up?” Karen asked.
“I’m fine.”
“Ryan showed up around midnight the day you came home. He looked upset,” April said, her voice lowering as Brant entered the diner. Her cheeks grew pink as they all waved at him, and he called out a hello from the other side of the diner as he met up with Levi, his eyes locking on April for an extra beat.
Clint, the local mechanic, joined the brothers and the three men headed out together.
“Ryan should be upset,” Jackie said indignantly. “He broke Carly’s heart. He told her he loved her, then when she had to leave the game he ended things with her.”
“Why did you have to leave?” Laura asked.
“It’s not our business,” April stated. But she watched Carly, no doubt hoping to hear the answer to that little mystery.
“Oh, come on. Tell us,” Jackie coaxed. Carly had steadfastly avoided the topic for days as well as on the way home from the airport last Friday for fear she’d break down and cry.
“I was called to a preliminary hearing as a witness,” she said reluctantly. The words practically stuck in her throat, she’d kept them inside for so long.
The women gasped, and Carly braced herself for judgment.
The entire group leaned in, questions flowing. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Are you in the witness protection plan?” Jackie asked. She straightened her spine and peered over the walls of the booth, looking this way, then that before hunching down again.
“No, no,” Carly said with a laugh that dissolved her earlier urge to cry. There was something about Jackie that always made things feel lighthearted and easier. “I was running a business with a friend. We had a contract with the United States Army, but it turns out my business partner made some dubious decisions and some of his contracts got us in trouble.”
They all gasped.
She hurried on. “I didn’t know what was going down. I’m lucky I was so oblivious—as embarrassing as it is—because the co
urts decided not to charge me as an accessory.” They’d come close, though, and she felt the familiar wash of shame for not knowing her own business. The guilt at what she’d helped Eaton do was a heavy weight on her shoulders, and she was no longer welcome in the Reserves as a result.
Carly allowed her eyes to flutter shut and inhaled through her nose, trying to find some serenity. The words of her ex-business partner washed over her. He’d called her gullible, naive, stupid, the real one to be blamed because she’d made it so easy for him to take advantage of her.
And he was right. She was all of those things. The worst of it was that she hadn’t learned. She had worn that ring to remind herself not to be those things, and what had she done? Turned around and done it again. Her independence had been a false front, and she’d fallen in love with the first man to kiss her.
“That’s so awful,” Laura said, gripping Carly’s hand and making her feel like crying again.
“Are you in trouble?” April asked. “Is everything okay?”
“But wouldn’t you have known you had to go to court?” Jackie’s forehead crinkled with confusion.
“The courts absolved me of guilt, but I was called in as a witness to testify against my business partner. I was subpoenaed for the preliminary hearing last Tuesday, but it got postponed until Friday. Only I didn’t hear about the new date and time until I was already on the way to the stadium for the final game. I booked the last flight available right then and there, but didn’t want to tell Ryan in case it would throw him off his stride. And then Priscilla was there, and the game was delayed by those streakers...” She swallowed hard, aware she sounded as though she was making excuses. “It turned into a giant mess.”
“That must’ve been so difficult,” Laura said, giving her hand another supportive squeeze.
“The bright side is that I’m not going to jail.” She let out a bubble of pained laughter. It didn’t change the concern she saw on her friends’ faces. “I’ve definitely earned the labels of gullible, blind, and frankly, pretty stupid, though.”
April was shaking her head, but it was Laura who spoke. “No. Don’t do that to yourself. We have all made errors that make us think less of ourselves.”
The group nodded in agreement.
For a moment there was only the clatter of dishes, and country and western Christmas songs playing in the background, as Carly waited for the judgment, the “How could you not have known?” questions.
“Where’s Kurt?” Jackie asked suddenly, as if she’d just noticed the single mom was without her little guy.
“With Heath,” April said impatiently. “So why did Ryan break up with you?”
“That’s what independent men do. They tell you they love you, tell you they need you, and then when you start believing it they rip the rug out from under you and there you are, with a broken heart, crying all the way to Montana to get what’s left of your soul stomped on by a lawyer and your ex-friend.” Carly let out a shuddery breath, fighting the sudden flow of unstoppable tears.
She dipped her head as other customers turned to look her way, then buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking. Her friends immediately surrounded her with hugs and passed napkins to dab her eyes.
“Men are such bastards,” Jackie declared, cracking her knuckles. “Is Ryan in school today? I’ll go over there and give him a piece of my mind.”
“They’re on Christmas break,” April said.
Carly looked up. “No. This is for the best. I knew it was coming, and I kidded myself that it wasn’t.”
The women were all watching her, their expressions forlorn.
“I just didn’t think it was going to hurt this bad,” she whispered.
“None of us ever do,” April said wisely.
Looking up at her, Carly realized that her new friend probably had bigger things going on in her life than a little heartbreak after a short romance. She likely had an even better idea of just how awful things could hurt when true love turned around and bit you.
A few days after breaking up with Carly, Ryan found his mom sitting in the ranch house kitchen. It seemed like every time he’d come by since her return from the beach town of Indigo Bay a few days ago, she’d been here rather than in her tiny home in the yard. And he’d been by the ranch plenty seeing as he was steadfastly ignoring his rodeo horses over at Carly’s, taking Lucinda’s word that everything was fine.
“Hey, Mom.” He took a seat at the table. “What’s up?”
She gave a halfhearted shrug, her hand wrapped around a steaming ceramic mug. His best guess was peppermint tea, based on the minty smell in the air. Peppermint meant she was feeling down, according to what Brant had once told him.
“How are you doing?” she asked, and he wasn’t sure if she meant with all the ego-boosting kudos on the state win, the fact that Myles was still mad at him for his unilateral game-day decisions, or how he and Carly no longer spoke.
“Fine. The players are settling down finally.”
“I remember when you boys used to play.” Her eyes were kind and patient, and he sensed she was angling toward asking him something.
“That was fun,” he said, waiting for her to get to the point.
“What’s happening with you these days?”
“Nothing.”
She gave him that unimpressed look that said she wasn’t buying it and could wait forever. His mom was a good listener, a great problem solver, but spilling his guts about his love life wasn’t something Ryan was comfortable with. He considered getting up and heading home to his dog, but knew she’d just find a different way to get the information from him.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he said, leaning back in his chair.
“Just dealing with life changes.”
“I don’t want to hear about menopause.”
She chuckled. “Well, that’s flattering if you believe I haven’t yet experienced that life change. Or else your health education is severely lacking and I’ve failed you as a mother.” Her eyes took on a teasing glimmer. “Shall we talk about the birds and the bees?”
He gave a growl of disgust, then eyed her carefully. “Brant said you were hanging out with Clint during your trip to Indigo Bay.” Levi speculated that the local mechanic had a crush on Maria. It was something her sons preferred not to think about, but Ryan couldn’t help but wonder if the man was the reason for her sadness. If so, it could be time to find a new mechanic. “You two are friends?”
The sadness in his mother’s eyes deepened and her mouth turned down in a frown. Ryan was tempted to change the subject, but remembered Brant’s honest look of surprise when Ryan had told him he cared about him and the family. He cared, but maybe it was time to show it. He could start by making a point of letting them in and listening more. All that stuff Brant did so well.
“Or are the two of you more than that?” Ryan felt like he was talking to one of his students, prying out the truth with gentle, leading questions.
His mother flashed him a warning look to mind his own business. “Clint and I are friends.”
“He’s made it clear he’d like to be more than that?”
“Have you been talking to Levi?” She sat straighter, pulled her cup closer.
“You don’t like Clint?”
“He is a very thoughtful man who…” Maria made a clucking sound. “You don’t want to hear about your mother’s love life.”
“You have a love life?”
She snorted at him, her eyes flashing.
“Tell me.” He was curious, feeling a need to hear how someone else in the family had foolishly put their heart on the line, and what had happened.
“Why don’t you tell me about you and Carly instead?” his mom asked.
Ryan let out a large puff of air and sat straighter, just like his mother had. “Really? You want to hear about that menace?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I forgot the golden rule. Women leave.” He shrugged, feeling that painful sensat
ion in his chest whenever he thought about Carly not being there on the sidelines when he’d looked over. Then how that pain had deepened when he’d discovered she’d left without even saying goodbye. That was always followed by the sensation that he was missing something, something important. Some reason or clue that would make it all fall together. Why had she gone to Montana, then spun around and returned home so quickly? None of it added up. His brothers were right; he needed to work on his listening skills.
“None of it makes sense, Mom.”
Maria was silent for a long moment, and he waited for her pearl of wisdom that would help him make sense of it all.
“What?” he asked, when she remained deep in thought.
“Men leave. I guess women do, too.”
“No. It’s women.” He hadn’t left Carly or Priscilla. He shook his head before taking a moment to look at it from his mom’s perspective. She’d come from a long line of leavers. Her dad first, then her husband, Ryan’s dad.
He had a feeling that despite her history, she’d stepped up to the plate with Clint in hopes of a home run.
“Okay, fine. People leave,” he said. “You gave it a shot with Clint, didn’t you?”
His mom’s cup was now clutched at chest level. “I tried, but he left.”
The man had gone to Indigo Bay to help a friend put a scooter back on the road for the fundraiser his mom had been helping with. At the time Ryan had thought it was a bit of a coincidence, with both of them having friends in South Carolina, and both going to help with the same fundraiser at the same time. But then the more he thought about it, the more he realized it wasn’t one at all. Clint had attempted to reach out to his mom, away from all the things that may have held her back. Like her boys.
She’d tried, failed, and was home again.
“He left,” Ryan repeated.
Something about that proclamation didn’t sit right. Clint wasn’t the leaving type, for one. He’d been making eyes at Maria for years, according to Brant, who noticed stuff like that. Why would he go all the way to Indigo Bay just to mess it all up?