A Perfect Cornish Escape

by Phillipa Ashley

‘Thank you for coming here. What you did today – facing your fears – was no small thing.’

  ‘I’m glad I made it, but without the incentive of having you by my side, I never could have even considered it. I’ve always felt the accident didn’t just rob me of my job in the RAF, but of my confidence – of my reason for being.’

  ‘I do understand,’ she said.

  ‘I couldn’t face going back to the MRT, even though they offered to find me a role away from the sharp edge – manning the phones, looking after the kit and giving talks. I felt that if I couldn’t offer my whole self, then there was no point being involved at all.’

  ‘Do you think that by denying yourself any contact with the team and leaving your job … do you think you might have been punishing yourself for what happened to Catriona – even if it wasn’t your fault in any way?’ she asked.

  ‘Possibly. It was more that I felt everything I loved and believed in – all my certainties in life – had been shattered. Obviously, my physical recovery took a long time, and it’s still on-going. The mental side of things will take even longer and that hit me much harder than I’d ever expected. I was grieving for Cat, and feeling guilty, and both of those things still apply.’ He grimaced. ‘Sorry, this weekend was meant to be a break for us both.’

  ‘It’s the space you need to think and talk. I don’t mind.’

  They strolled hand in hand in silence for a while. Lachlan was staring at the horizon and seemed to be on another planet.

  ‘Earth to Lachlan?’

  He turned to her. ‘Yes.’ He smiled. ‘Sorry. Miles away. There’s a bottle of champagne in the fridge with our name on it that we haven’t drunk yet.’

  ‘Why don’t we have it out here?’ she suggested.

  ‘OK. I’ll nip in and get it.’

  He returned with the bottle, two glasses and a rug, which he laid in the dunes. With no one else around, they kissed and cuddled close, watching the sun sink lower.

  ‘You know this is the furthest most westerly edge of Britain. There’s nothing between us and America but rocks and the lighthouse,’ she said. ‘In ancient days, it really would have been the edge of the world for the people living here.’

  ‘It reminds me of the Western Isles,’ Lachlan replied. ‘Only warmer.’

  She laughed.

  ‘Even though I’m almost a thousand miles from “home”, I feel I belong here in Cornwall, and Porthmellow,’ he went on. ‘It’s ironic that when I first arrived, I was determined to keep as far away from people as possible. It was nothing to do with the scars. Yes, some people do judge people on how they look and they’re disturbed by it initially, but that’s their problem and if they can’t get over it fast, then they’re not people I want to know.

  ‘The truth is that I didn’t want to engage with people, full stop. I thought I could stay in the background at the office, only communicating through a screen.’

  ‘You’d have been better off going to London if you wanted to avoid people.’

  He chuckled. ‘You’re right, but I knew Aaron, I felt comfortable with him and I trusted him. Cornwall was literally the other end of the country. I didn’t expect to be drawn into the community as I have. I fought against it.’

  Marina’s eyes widened. ‘Really? I hadn’t noticed.’

  He grimaced. ‘I’m sorry. I was an idiot.’

  ‘Oh, I wouldn’t go quite that far.’

  He narrowed his eyes at her then smiled ruefully. ‘I’ve realised over the past few months that I can’t stop myself caring about other folk. I tried my hardest but it hasn’t worked. Most of all, I can’t stop myself caring about you.’

  Wow. Now he’d taken the wind out of her sails. She listened intently, willing him to say more.

  ‘I don’t know what the future holds …’ he went on after a pause. ‘But I can only see it in Porthmellow. You might be stuck with me.’

  ‘I learned not to look too far ahead a long time ago,’ Marina said carefully. ‘But I’m happy you want to stick around and found a way to be comfortable with us. Porthmellow isn’t for everyone but I think it’s great that you’re giving it a chance.’

  He turned his head to her, his eyes demanding an answer to the main part of his statement. ‘And you? Are you happy to give me a chance?’

  Marina’s heart beat a little faster. ‘You know I am. More than happy. Like you, I can never take the future for granted again but, since you’ve arrived, and we’ve grown close, I’ve started to look a little further … and I’m excited to see where this takes us.’

  ‘Yes …’ He slipped his arm around her waist and she rested her head on his shoulder, drinking in the glory of the endless view over sea and sky, wishing the weekend could go on forever.

  They lapsed into a silence that felt the opposite of awkward. It was so natural to simply sit there, with his arm around her, enjoying his presence, the awe-inspiring beauty and sense of isolation from all the pressures of the world.

  She would approach the new season with fresh energy this year. She’d grown used to her own company in front of the fire on a dark evening. No storm bothered her after the one she’d weathered over the past years. She was independent, had good friends, colleagues, students and Tiff and she finally had closure in emotional – and soon legal – terms.

  However, it would be lovely to have someone to share the sofa with in the evening – and her bed with at night. She certainly hadn’t known Lachlan long enough to think of moving in together but he was only a few steps away and despite her hints about living for the moment, she couldn’t drown out the desire and hope that they would have much longer than the next few months to enjoy. She was thinking of autumn and winter too, Christmas … and beyond?

  ‘Marina?’

  His voice was soft. ‘Hmm.’

  ‘This may be too soon and you can say no if you like but … I’d like to join the Wave Watchers.’ He smiled. ‘If you’ll have me.’

  She took her head from his shoulder to look in his face. ‘Of course we’ll have you. I think you’d be great, but are you sure you’re ready?’

  ‘No, but it would be another step back into the life I once had, or rather the life I want to live. Like I said, I tried to stay away from the community but I found it impossible. Someone made me look at my life, and the way I was living it, in a new way.’

  The sun had gone now, leaving the sky deepest indigo and the breeze freshened as night fell, so Lachlan tightened his arm around her shoulders to try and keep her warm. She carried her shoes, revelling in the damp sand under her toes on the way back to their cottage. It was as if all her senses were heightened; she hadn’t felt so alive, deep in her skin and bones, for a long time … or perhaps ever. This intensity of living wasn’t from a time before Nate disappeared, it was completely new, and she couldn’t compare it with the past. They hurried home, went straight to bed, making love in the pure darkness here at the edge of the world.

  For the first time, she felt she could let go of the guilt that came in admitting that her life was more deeply joyful this evening than, perhaps, it had ever been with Nate.

  Chapter Thirty

  ‘Hi Tiffany, I’m ho-oome!’

  Trying not to giggle, Marina trilled out the greeting as she unlocked the door to the cottage. Tiff would be bound to walk out of the sitting room, ready with a ‘Don’t you dare use that name!’ remark.

  Still buoyed by the happiness of her break with Lachlan, Marina left her case by the bottom of the stairs. Maybe Tiff was in the garden. Or upstairs with Dirk.

  ‘Hellooooo!’ she shouted again, ready to make a rapid escape to the garden herself if the pair of them really were in bed. She doubted it – their liaisons were almost exclusively kept to Dirk’s place – but Tiff might have invited him for an away match while Marina had been in Scilly. She was home slightly earlier than planned, having been put on the flight immediately before the scheduled one.

  Thuds on the stairs almost confirmed her worst fears, but it was only Ti
ff with her hair in a towel and green gloop on her face.

  ‘I’d kiss you but I don’t want you getting avocado facemask all over you. You look fantastic. How was it – or need I ask?’

  ‘Well, it was … wonderful, actually.’ Marina burst into a grin. ‘How about you?’

  ‘Oh, it’s been … interesting. Let me wash this off and we can tell each other everything.’

  Marina wasn’t sure she wanted to tell Tiff everything, and she was certain that Tiff was holding back some of the events that had passed between her and Dirk. Still, she felt buoyed by happiness and Tiff seemed to have made things up with Dirk for now. She couldn’t ask for more.

  She felt sure her life was on an upward curve. Lachlan was good for her, and she hoped she was good for him. Their blossoming relationship would make it easier to go through with the legal necessities around ending her marriage to Nate and, finally, closing the door on a dark time of her life, forever.

  Over the next few weeks, Lachlan was as good as his word, joining her for his first official shift at the lookout station and signing up for the training course. In the meantime, Marina and some of the other Wave Watchers helped to supervise him, although with his military background and training, he was already very familiar with search and rescue routines, radio operation and procedures.

  Marina felt he’d taken a giant leap forward in being able to return to this kind of environment. She really did think she’d helped him and was quietly pleased she’d persisted in trying to bring him into the community, and that she’d found the courage to reach out to him personally.

  He spent many nights at the cottage, which suited Tiff too, because she spent as many at Dirk’s – though when they were both there, Marina was pleased to see they got on well.

  ‘Hi there.’ Lachlan leaned down to kiss her one evening when he came round for dinner. ‘Busy?’ Marina had been busy all afternoon, emailing her solicitor and preparing a lecture for the coming term, but while dinner was cooking, she’d broken off for a much happier duty – writing a Facebook review of the lighthouse cottages.

  ‘I was … but I’m now writing a post about how fantastic our stay was on St Agnes. Do you want to see it while I finish dinner?’

  ‘Do you really want me to see what you’ve written about our weekend?’ He raised an eyebrow and she was reminded of their days – and nights in bed – on the island.

  ‘I haven’t gone into too much detail!’ She laughed. ‘Here, you can see for yourself while I serve up the pasta.’

  Leaving him with the iPad, she drained the linguine and added it to the white wine and garlic sauce, before tipping two portions into chunky bowls. Just in time, she rescued the garlic bread from the oven and put it into a basket.

  When she returned, he was sitting at the dining table staring at the iPad. His expression wasn’t what she expected: slightly stunned rather than pleased or amused.

  ‘Everything OK?’ she said, putting a bowl in front of him. ‘I haven’t revealed anything I shouldn’t have?’

  He closed the case on the iPad and pushed it away, the smile back on his face. ‘It’s great. Love the bit about the “exciting activities” on offer, though I don’t think that what we did was quite what the guide book had in mind.’

  ‘No … it was much more fun, though.’

  He smiled again and inhaled the steam from the bowl. ‘This smells good.’

  ‘Hope so, I got the mussels and prawns from the harbour fishmonger this morning.’

  He poured some chilled wine left over from the sauce into her glass and topped up his own. Marina chattered away about more memories of their trip, hoping they could visit again. Lachlan hmmed in the right places and smiled but, from time to time, he seemed not to have heard what she’d said.

  At one point, he paused, with a hank of linguine around his fork.

  ‘Is dinner OK?’ she asked, half amused, half wondering what planet he was on.

  ‘Oh, aye. It’s great.’ He popped the pasta into his mouth.

  After dinner, they took the rest of the bottle out onto the terrace and sat quietly in the evening sun.

  ‘I went to see the solicitor earlier,’ Marina said, feeling that they’d relaxed.

  She’d got his attention again finally. ‘Oh aye?’

  ‘Mmm. I should have the legal declaration in a couple of weeks.’ An unexpected lump rose to her throat.

  Lachlan squeezed her hand. ‘So soon?’ he said.

  ‘Well, it has been a long time coming …’

  ‘Aye. It must feel like a lifetime and yet now, so … strange.’

  ‘It is. Every time I visit the lawyer or sign something, I tell myself it’s a positive step but it still feels like …’ She was about to say a betrayal of Nate, but stopped just in time. ‘A weird thing to do.’ She kissed him quickly and got up. ‘I’ll get us a coffee. I need perking up.’

  When she returned with the coffees, Lachlan was speaking to someone on his phone but he ended the call. ‘Aaron,’ he said, and smiled broadly, accepting the mug.

  They sat down and she thought he looked tired, with dark smudges under his eyes. Well, they had been burning the midnight oil, she supposed, with a thrill of delight. Maybe it also had something to do with the extra work he was putting in in Aaron’s business, and the Wave Watchers shifts.

  ‘Are you still OK with the coastguard coming to assess you on Saturday?’ she asked. ‘It’s a bit of a pain but you can move on to the next stage of the training when she’s given you the certificate.’

  ‘If she gives me the certificate,’ he quipped.

  ‘Of course she will.’

  His smile faded quickly. ‘Don’t worry, I’m used to assessments. Or rather I was. It’s been a while.’

  ‘You’ll smash it,’ she said, hoping he wouldn’t lose any more sleep over the test. He’d already made giant strides from the day she met him, when he could hardly bear to talk to her. It would be a huge pity if he went back into his shell again, for him and for her.

  Shaking her head, the coastguard assessor glanced at her watch. ‘I’m afraid I can’t hang on much longer, Marina. I’ve another assessment to do in St Ives, so if Mr McKinnon doesn’t arrive in the next five minutes, I’ll have to cancel.’

  Marina tried not to panic. She’d been at the station for over an hour already, and had agreed to meet Lachlan for his assessment. She’d spoken to him only the afternoon before, when he’d been about to head off to Plymouth for a meeting. He’d warned her he’d be late back that evening, but never mentioned anything that might make him miss the test.

  ‘I’m sure he’ll be here any second,’ she said, though she was clutching at straws by now. ‘I’ll try to get hold of him again.’ She called his mobile but, once again, it went straight to his answerphone. A text and WhatsApp had also failed to get a response. What if something had happened to him? An accident? Or perhaps he’d had a last minute panic attack at the idea of being tested, and couldn’t face telling her.

  ‘I’m sorry but I can’t reach him. It’s not like him to miss something this important,’ she said.

  The assessor’s lips twisted. ‘Well, we’ll have to rearrange it for another time. I do have to go, Marina,’ she added in a softer tone.

  ‘It’s OK. I understand, and I can only apologise for wasting your time.’

  ‘Let me know when he’s ready. We’ll work something out.’

  With a sinking heart, Marina saw the assessor out and sat down in the control room, feeling completely deflated. It was hard not to feel let down by Lachlan, but anxiety over where he was and what he might be going through eclipsed her disappointment.

  She thought about calling Aaron and asking him if he knew anything, but she didn’t want Lachlan to think she’d been checking up on him and, if he had got cold feet, he might be embarrassed by other people knowing.

  She picked up the binoculars and tried to focus on her job but she felt she was scanning the sea for Lachlan and wondering where he was … It must b
e something serious; he’d known the assessment was today, so it couldn’t be a misunderstanding. Her stomach clenched hard. What if he never answered her calls? What if she never saw him again?

  The terrible feeling of helplessness and loss that had overwhelmed her all those years ago flooded back. She scrabbled for perspective, but the fear of losing Lachlan the way she’d lost Nate overwhelmed her. She dropped the binoculars on the counter and covered her face in her hands in despair.

  ‘Marina?’

  Lachlan stood in the doorway to the control room.

  Marina let out all her fears and anger. ‘Where the hell have you been?’ she cried. ‘I had the assessor here for ages. They had to go and I had no idea what had happened to you! Why didn’t you reply to my messages? Answer my calls! If you’d bottled it, all you had to do was tell me.’

  He took the onslaught without a word and it was then she saw his face: drawn, the eyes dark with lack of sleep.

  ‘Lachlan? What’s wrong?’

  He didn’t answer, but she saw him swallow hard. His lack of reply had done nothing to allay her fears. In fact, she felt even more anxious.

  ‘Will you sit down, please?’ he said, so softly she could barely hear.

  Her body turned cold with dread. ‘Sit down? Why? What’s the matter?’

  ‘This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and there’s no easy way of saying it that will ease the shock. It’s not about me, it’s Nate. He’s alive.’

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Marina stared at him, wondering if he’d had a meltdown. ‘Is this some kind of sick joke?’

  ‘No. It’s not a joke. You know I’d never joke about something like this. Nate’s alive. He’s living in South Africa.’

  She shook her head. ‘I don’t know what’s made you think he’s alive, or who’s convinced you he is, but they’re wrong and they need to understand that.’ Her voice rose as the shock of his statement turned to anger. Who could think such a cruel thing, and convince Lachlan enough to force him into telling her? It was ridiculous and she wanted to know who they were.