It was dusk by the time she arrived home and she went straight round to Dirk’s. He answered the door in a dark blue sweater and jeans, his hair wind-blown, his cheeks shaded by stubble. He was magnificent and wild, like the land he lived in – and as impossible to leave.
As soon as they were in the sitting room, he kissed her, leaving her reeling with lust and guilt. She had to tell him about the job offer; she owed him total honesty.
‘Wow,’ she said.
He grinned. ‘I needed that. I’ve been on a shout all afternoon. Some guy stole a rowing dinghy from the harbour and tried to get to France for some cheap wine. He lost an oar. We got him a moment before it was swamped.’
Tiff rolled her eyes. ‘What is wrong with people?’
‘This one was pissed. He didn’t want to come aboard even though he was sinking but we told him it was happy hour at the Smuggler’s and to save his booze cruise for another day.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Is that standard casualty procedure? If so, I’m not sure you’ll ever get a job as a hostage negotiator.’
‘It made him leave the boat and saved his life. The paramedics picked him up at the quay.’
She smiled and kissed him. She knew that behind the dark humour, these incidents bothered Dirk far more than he let on.
‘You look tired too,’ he said.
‘Thanks.’
‘But still very hot.’
‘That’s better. Actually, I am a bit knackered. I’ve been doing a couple of stints at the lookout station while Marina is taking a break, not that I’m much use. I had to endure an hour with Bryony Cronk today and if that’s not deserving of the highest honour, I don’t know what is. You know her, I suppose?’ Tiff said, rolling her eyes. Bryony ran a dog-grooming parlour in the village and had her own unruly Rottweiler constantly in tow, although with her booming voice and blunt opinions, Tiff considered Bryony to be far scarier than her dog.
He chuckled. ‘I heard Bryony had decided to join the Wave Watchers. I agree, spending any length of time with her deserves a medal.’ He smiled to himself again.
‘What’s up?’ she asked.
‘The idea of you spending your precious time in a coast watch station with someone like Bryony, out of the goodness of your heart … you’ve come a long way from the Tiff who first knocked on my door.’
‘Firstly, I only do it for Marina. Secondly, you overestimate the goodness in my heart.’
‘I don’t think so,’ he said, so gently that her skin tingled. She wished he wouldn’t say such nice things to her; every kind word would make it so much harder to leave him.
‘I’d say the jury’s out on that,’ she said lightly, dread weighing her down. He was right in one way; she’d never have dreamed that she’d become so involved in Porthmellow life and she wasn’t simply stepping in to help Marina. She’d begun to understand how no community, particularly a tiny one pitted against the elements, survived without pulling together. If that sounded cheesy, she couldn’t help it. It was true.
But the satisfaction she felt in helping out her cousin and the townspeople was overshadowed by her guilt over what she had to tell Dirk. Now here he was, leg crossed over his thigh, his arm flung over the back of the sofa. He looked tired but at ease, unsuspecting. Oh God …
Her stomach was doing backflips while she sipped the mug of coffee he’d made her. She teetered on the very edge of not telling him about Yvette’s revelations. Why did life have to throw these bloody great boulders in your way and, just as you’d found a new path, roll them away and reveal yet another route? She decided to start with the easier of the two.
‘If you’ve been out saving lives, I take it you won’t have seen the news?’ she said.
He frowned. ‘No. Why? Don’t tell me something else has happened to Marina?’
‘No, thank God. It’s about my ex, Warner. There was a short piece on the BBC news channel. He’s been sacked by the government. Misconduct in a public office. Turns out he was fiddling his expenses and claiming cash for employing a girlfriend. Not me, obviously.’
Dirk swore. ‘Is nothing enough for some people? Why do they have to be greedy as well as bastards?’
‘I don’t know. Some get into a bubble. Knowing Warner, he was simply arrogant enough to assume he wouldn’t get caught. He had this attitude that he could get away with anything … shaft anyone. Actually, I found out about it this morning. An editor friend called me to warn me the news was about to break.’
‘I’m relieved he’s finally been rumbled. How was he caught?’
‘An undercover team had been investigating him and they handed over their findings to the police. What I find most amusing is that it was the old expenses fiddle that got him in the end. He’s done much worse, but I’m sure a lot of stones will be turned over now he’s been caught out. He has plenty of enemies. We’ll see what comes crawling out.’
‘I’m assuming you had no idea of the kind of man he was?’
‘Do you need to ask that?’ She was a little hurt.
‘No. I’m sorry I did. He must have hidden his real nature well.’
‘He fooled me. My pride was hurt and it still is. I’m angry with myself that I fell for someone who I thought …’ She still felt the sting of betrayal. ‘Who I thought would never use me like he did.’
‘I know that,’ he said gently.
‘Even so, I’m not sure how I was so taken in, and yet I was.’
‘You’re as human as the rest of us. Don’t think you’re not. People always amaze me. The strongest will clutch at a drowning relative to save themselves; the smallest, oldest, seemingly the frailest will show enormous strength …’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, but we don’t use that in our PR.’ His brief smile melted away. ‘How do you feel about this … finally being vindicated?’
‘It’s … hard to say. I suppose I should be doing a dance and whooping but I don’t feel like doing that as much as I might have once expected.’ Tiff could not deny that she’d thought she loved Warner back then, and she couldn’t openly revel in his misfortune … but she wasn’t sad for him either.
But she knew too that the real reason behind her sadness was sitting right in front of her. She hadn’t known that tearing herself away from Dirk would have hurt so much. That a pound-shop Heathcliff was the man she loved. She was also painfully aware that she was only putting off the moment when she had to confess all to Dirk. ‘My contact is the editor of the Post. She didn’t only call me to warn me that Warner had been dropped in it. She had something else to tell me.’
Realisation flickered in his eyes. He’d guessed … ‘Somehow I had a feeling you might say that,’ he murmured.
‘She also offered me a job.’
He waited before replying, measuring his words. ‘I see. Is this because you’re now back in favour?’
‘I wouldn’t put it like that; this editor – Yvette – told me at the time that she thought I’d been done an injustice. She believed I’d been set up, but there was no proof so she couldn’t justify taking on a disgraced reporter, not to mention she didn’t have a job for me. She has tried to help along the way; she’s the one who’s been running my freelance stories and, as you know, she came up with the auction lot.’
‘Yours is a world I will never understand.’
Goosebumps popped up on Tiff’s arms. He’d hit the nail on the head. The gulf between their worlds was huge and about to widen. She could see no way of bridging it.
‘Is the job offer anything to do with the exclusive about Marina?’ he asked.
‘That played its part, I’m not going to lie to you, but if you think for one moment that’s why I did it, then you aren’t the man I thought you were.’
‘What man is that, Tiff?’ He fixed her with those dark eyes that made her shiver with lust. They were also eyes that let her know there was no hiding from him.
She held up her palms. ‘No, no. I’m not feeding your ego …’
‘It woul
d make a change.’ His smile was chilly but his expression softened quickly. ‘You’d be a fool not to accept it.’
‘Then I’m a fool.’ She laughed. ‘I’m not sure I can accept it.’
‘Why?’ he burst out.
‘Because …’ Tiff faltered. ‘Because Marina needs me.’
‘This is your big chance to go back.’
Yes, but at what cost?
‘It’s not quite as simple as that …’ she murmured, unable to frame her feelings in words. Seeing Dirk now, feeling that their relationship had moved to a new level, she suspected that he was the reason she’d told Yvette she still needed a little more time to think over the renewed offer. How ironic it was that the door back to her old life – a better version of her old life – had opened again, right at the moment when she’d felt that she and Dirk had a glimmer of a chance at making a go of things.
‘You know I’ll miss you,’ Dirk said, so gently that she could hardly bear it. ‘But I’d never hold you back. You’d despise me if I tried.’
‘Despise?’ She smiled, but her heart ached. ‘That’s not quite the word I’d use.’
‘You wouldn’t respect me if I asked you to stay. Which I both want and absolutely don’t. If you really need to be here for Marina’s sake, that’s different.’
Was it? She cared for Marina, she cared for Dirk. In different ways, of course, but each equally as powerful. The pull of Porthmellow had become stronger by the day, a little bit at a time, carrying her away from the shore until she was so far out, she wasn’t sure she could get back.
‘Actually, it was Marina who told Yvette I should take the job. I’d turned it down once.’
‘And you should take it.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘Be all that you could and should be, for my sake.’
Tiff saw his expression and she realised, finally, that he probably was right. Why was it so very hard to do the thing she’d vowed from the start – have no regrets? Was he secretly feeling as sad as her at the possibility she actually might leave soon?
The worst thing was she’d probably never know now …
She fought back tears, and placed her finger on his mouth, feeling its warmth. ‘Please, would it be OK,’ she managed, ‘if we avoided the issue for now and had knicker-ripping, hot and sweaty sex?’
His audible intake of breath told her that her diversion tactic had worked.
‘Hmm. Let me think …’
His eyes darkened with passion and Tiff’s own body tautened with desire. He leaned in closer and she felt his breath against her as his lips brushed the tender skin of her neck. How could she ever leave … would it be so very bad to stay and experience this every day?
‘Dirk!’
Her shriek of delighted surprise pierced the air as, without warning, he swept her up in his arms and dropped her onto the Chesterfield. Even as she was getting her breath back, he was pulling his sweater and T-shirt off in one go and wasting no time in delivering on her request.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
After more soul searching, Marina decided to start formal divorce proceedings from Nate. Her lawyer pointed out that it was the natural step, given that she’d applied to dissolve the marriage anyway. However, that was when she’d accepted he was gone and that the dissolution was a conclusion to a process she’d had seven years to grow used to – divorce brought a whole new load of emotional baggage. At least it should go through quickly, as Nate had so clearly deserted her, behaved unreasonably, committed adultery … He ticked every box, her solicitor had said in an attempt at grim humour.
Without her Wave Watchers shifts, she’d thrown herself into her college work, and now the new term had begun she had more than enough to occupy her. Yet even with a few weeks away from the station, she still felt as if she’d cut off a limb: she missed it so much – the camaraderie, the sense of purpose and company. However, she still couldn’t face going back, and the longer she stayed away, the harder it was to even contemplate a return. The thought of walking into the station, built on a sham, made her feel ill.
One Saturday morning, after Tiff had stayed overnight at Dirk’s, she had the cottage to herself. The face she saw in the mirror when she went into the bathroom was gaunt and pale.
She needed to sort herself out, so she showered, put on some make-up and dug out a new top she hadn’t even worn from the wardrobe. Her Wave Watchers uniform, the blouses and trousers, still hung in the same place they had for weeks. She wondered if she’d ever have use for them again.
A knock on the door took her out of her thoughts. Hoping it wasn’t anyone from the press, she went downstairs to unlock it. The moment she opened it a chorus of voices rang out.
‘Surprise!’
The lane was blocked by a crowd of people. There was Gareth, Trevor and Doreen plus half a dozen other members of the Wave Watchers. Rachel and several of the lifeboat crew had also joined the throng, along with Troy, Evie and Aaron Carman. She spotted the harbourmaster, the guy who ran the diving school, a woman from the sailing centre, several sea cadets in their uniforms and half a dozen local fishermen, some still in their yellow waders. One of them was Craig Illogan, arms folded.
Tiff stood at the rear of the group with Dirk, both smiling.
‘What?’
Marina covered her mouth with her hands.
Gareth stepped forward. ‘We’ve come to persuade you to come back to work at the lookout station, boss,’ he said.
‘And we won’t take no for an answer until you agree,’ Trevor and Doreen piped up in unison.
‘We need you,’ everyone chorused.
‘We all need you,’ Dirk called.
‘The people of Porthmellow need you,’ the harbourmaster spoke up. ‘The holidaymakers, the sailors, the kite surfers and the divers …’
‘… the daft buggers who set sail in leaky dinghies, three sheets to the wind,’ said Troy.
Craig stepped forward. ‘And the fishermen,’ he said. ‘Thanks, Marina.’
‘Thank you, Craig,’ Marina managed, although her throat was almost too full to speak. It must have been devastating for him to discover that Nate had also willingly chosen to put him, a mate, through hell.
‘And us.’ A teenager emerged from the crowd with a huge bunch of flowers, followed by his parents. Marina recognised him as Jacob, the boy who had been rescued from the kayak. ‘Thanks for saving me and my dad,’ he said shyly, handing over the bouquet.
‘And for saving my life too,’ his mother added. ‘The lifeboat crew told us that you were the ones who tried to warn my husband and spotted that he and Jacob were missing. Please keep doing what you’re doing, even when it seems tough. It does matter, it does save lives, and we can never thank you enough.’
‘I’ve made a donation and so has my company,’ the man said. ‘It can never be enough but thank you from us all.’
Marina was going to reply but instead she could only burst into tears and let people hug her and shake her hand, one by one. She’d half hoped Lachlan might have appeared, but she’d told him in no uncertain terms that she needed a break, so why would he come?
Focusing on those who were there, she spoke up, her voice breaking. ‘Thank you so much. I’m more touched than you could ever know. I’m too choked up to say much but I promise I will come back to Wave Watchers as soon as I can,’ she said. ‘I mean it. Thank you.’
Satisfied, the throng began to leave and the street was empty again, save Tiff who followed Marina into the cottage. ‘I hope you didn’t mind the surprise,’ she said.
‘No,’ Marina said, still wiping her eyes. ‘Did you organise it?’
‘Me. No? I knew about it, but I didn’t arrange it.’
‘Who did then?’
‘I’m not sure … Dirk told me about it. Maybe one of the lifeboat crew or Gareth or Trevor and Doreen?’ Tiff shrugged. ‘Does it matter? The only important thing is that it’s made you think about returning to the Wave Watchers. Will you?’
Marina nodded. ‘Yes, I think I wil
l.’ She thought about the crowd of people who’d spared their precious time to come to her doorstep and let her know how much the Wave Watchers meant to them and smiled. ‘After what just happened, how could I let my friends and neighbours down?’
Tiff patted her arm. ‘That’s the spirit. Now, shall I make you a nice strong coffee and then help you write an email to the Wave Watchers saying you’re going back?’
Marina laughed. ‘I won’t say no to the coffee but you don’t need to supervise me. I promise I’ll message them now.’ While Tiff put the kettle on, Marina opened her laptop, but she couldn’t help thinking that someone had organised this morning’s gathering, and, despite her protestations, it surely had to have been Tiff. Had Lachlan not heard about it? Or did he know and had taken her at her word and kept his distance? If so, she had only herself to blame.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Summer felt like a distant memory when Tiff called into the Harbour Café for an espresso. The autumn landscape was as beautiful as ever, with the trees tinged with russet and the holiday crowds thinning. Even the increased potato-lorry traffic struck her as a charming quirk of country life.
She’d called Yvette the morning after she’d got home from Dirk’s and finally accepted the job.
Yvette had shocked her by asking if she could start work within the next two weeks. Tiff had been in tears when she’d broken the news to Marina, but her cousin was supportive as ever. She’d given notice at Cream of Cornish and spent her final couple of weeks with a fresh enthusiasm for the job, now that it was ending.
She spoke to Ellie Latham who was working behind the counter. Her bump was large now. ‘How long to go?’ Tiff asked her.
‘Only a month or so. I finish work this week actually and I’m ready for a break. The usual, dark roast espresso?’
Tiff smiled. ‘You know me too well.’
‘You’re becoming a regular. You’ve really settled in here, haven’t you?’ Ellie asked.
‘Yes,’ said Tiff, her insides twisting with guilt. ‘I’ll admit, I never expected it to be this interesting or fun.’
A Perfect Cornish Escape Page 26