“Not exactly.”
“What then?”
Laurie drew in a deep breath. Feeling as if she were on the edge of a precipice, she finally forced herself to dive off. “I want to know about Dad.”
The spoon slipped from her mother’s grasp and clattered against the bowl. “Your father? Why on earth would you bring him up after all these years?”
“Because Harlan Patrick thinks he’s the reason I won’t make a commitment, and I’ve finally concluded he could be right.”
“That’s ridiculous. You barely even knew your father. He’s been gone for more than twenty years now, and you’ve never asked about him once.”
“That’s why I’m asking now. I need to know everything, Mom. I need to know why he left. Was it something I did? Something you did? Have you ever heard from him again? Do you know where he is?”
“Well, I never...” Clearly agitated, her mother refused to meet her gaze.
Laurie reached across the table and clasped her mother’s icy hand. “Please, Mom, it’s important. Did I do something wrong? Is that why he left?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You were a child. He adored you.”
“How can you say that? He walked away without ever looking back. He never sent so much as a card at Christmas or for my birthday.”
Her comments were greeted with guilty silence. “Mom, he didn’t, did he?” She stared at her mother in stunned horror. “He did send me something and you kept it from me. Why, Mom? Why would you do something like that?”
“You never asked about him,” her mother retorted defensively. “I saw no need to go stirring things up.”
“What did he send?”
With a look of utter defeat on her face, her mother stood up shakily and left the room. Laurie didn’t try to stop her because something told her that at long last her mother wasn’t running away from the past. She was going after it.
With her heart in her throat, Laurie waited. Her mother came back into the room a few minutes later with a huge cardboard box in her arms.
“I should have thrown these away, I suppose,” she murmured as she set the box in front of Laurie. “But I couldn’t. I think I always knew this day would come.”
Laurie stood and peered into the box that had been taped shut and labeled Old Bills, all but ensuring she would never open it. There were postcards and letters and greeting cards, all addressed in a firm, masculine handwriting. There were even a few small gifts, still wrapped in Christmas and birthday paper.
“Oh, sweet heaven,” she murmured as tears filled her eyes and flowed down her cheeks.
“I’ll leave you to go through this,” her mother said.
“No,” Laurie snapped. “Before you go, I want to know why. I want to know why he left.”
“It was simple, really,” her mother said wearily. “He didn’t love me anymore.”
“Falling out of love is never simple. Something must have happened. I heard you arguing that night. It must have been about something.”
“Oh, baby, you have so much to learn about marriage. Even when both people love each other with all their hearts, it takes work and commitment to stay together, to have a relationship that grows stronger year after year. Your dad was tired of the struggle to make ends meet. He was tired of having to account for the money he spent or where he spent his time. He was tired of coming home to the same bed every night.”
“He had an affair?”
“No, not that I knew about, but he was bored with me, with marriage. And when he tired of it all, he left. My love wasn’t enough to keep him here.”
She heard the raw pain in her mother’s voice even after all these times and felt guilty for stirring it up again. “Oh, Mom, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I accepted it long ago.”
“Did you really?” Laurie wondered aloud. “You kept all this from me.”
“Maybe I worried that if you knew he wanted to see you, you would choose him over me. I hope that’s not why, but it might have been. I told myself I was doing what was best for you, keeping you with somebody who would always love you, who wouldn’t turn away no matter what.” She regarded Laurie sadly. “Was I so very wrong to do that?”
“I should have had a choice,” Laurie whispered. “It was my choice to make.”
“You were four years old,” her mother retorted sharply.
“If not then, later. When I was eight or ten or even seventeen.”
“By then it was too late.”
Laurie’s heart thudded dully. “He’s dead?”
“No, I just lost track of him. The cards and packages stopped when you were barely ten. I guess he gave up.”
Laurie vowed then and there to find him. If he was still alive, she would find her father again and get his side of the story. Maybe even after all this time, they could try to build some sort of relationship with each other. Maybe he would be someone she would want in her life. Maybe he wouldn’t be, but this time she would have the chance to choose.
And then, at last, maybe she would find the peace that had eluded her for so many years.
Thirteen
When Harlan Patrick walked back into the Jensen kitchen two hours later, he found Laurie still seated at the kitchen table, surrounded by papers. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes puffy. She was holding an unopened package, its bright red Santa wrapping paper incongruous on the hot summer day.
“I can’t open it,” she told him quietly, not looking up. “I can’t take my eyes off of it, but I can’t open it.”
He guessed at once who had sent the gift, and how very long ago. “It’s from your father.”
She nodded. “My mother saved it.” She gestured toward the postcards and birthday cards littering the table. “All of this, and I never knew.”
“He must have missed you very much.”
“He said he did,” she said in a soft, disbelieving voice. She set the package on the table and reached for a postcard. “See here, he says he loves me, that he wishes I were with him.”
Harlan Patrick noted that the card was from Dallas. Laurie chose another one, from California.
“He said it here, too,” she told him. “He was at the beach.” She met Harlan Patrick’s gaze with tear-swollen eyes. “Did you know I’d never been to the beach, not until my first concert stop in Los Angeles? That was the first time I saw the ocean. He could have been right there, and I would never have known it.”
“Are other things postmarked from Los Angeles?”
Startled, she stared at him. “I don’t know. I only read the messages.”
He held out his hand. “Let me see.” He watched her closely. “That is if you’re interested in finding him.”
“You know I am,” she said vehemently. “I have to.”
“Then I’ll help.”
Her eyes brightened for the first time. “You will?”
“Of course I will. We’ll find him together, Laurie. That’s a promise.”
“And you always keep your promises.”
“If I can.”
“No,” she said, suddenly angry. “Always, Harlan Patrick. You have to say it.”
Startled by her burst of fury, he could only guess at the cause. “Your mom’s been telling you that promises don’t mean much, hasn’t she?”
She sighed wearily. “Pretty much.”
“Mine do.” He glanced at the package on the table. “Why don’t you open that now, darlin’?”
“No,” she said, tucking the tiny package into her pocket. “I think I’ll save it and open it when we find him.”
Harlan Patrick knew then that his whole future rested on finding Laurie’s father and putting the past to rest once and for all. The sooner he could make that happen, the better. Fortunately he had a cousin who was a sheriff. Justin ought to be able to get the ball ro
lling before the day was out.
But if Justin ran into a dead end, there were private investigators. Hell, he’d go chasing after the man himself, if that’s what it took.
Anxious to get started, he stood up and dropped a quick kiss on Laurie’s forehead. “You get your things together, sweetheart. We’ll take off for Ohio in a couple of hours. Meantime I have some things I need to do.”
“What things?”
“Odds and ends,” he said evasively, refusing to get her hopes up until he’d had a talk with Justin about just how difficult this search was likely to be. “Be ready when I get back, okay?”
“Sure,” she said distractedly, already lost in another of her father’s letters.
“Maybe I’ll turn the packing over to Val,” he murmured as he left the room. Laurie’s mind clearly wasn’t likely to be on anything except her daddy for some time to come.
A few minutes later he sat in Justin’s office and pleaded his case.
“You want me to track down Laurie’s father?” Justin repeated.
“As a favor to me. She needs to put an end to all the wondering.”
“Any idea where I might start this search?”
“California. The last cards and letters he sent came from a little town just north of Los Angeles.”
“And when was that?”
“About ten, maybe fifteen years ago, judging by the postmarks. I don’t think there was anything more recent than that. I suppose he just gave up when he never heard back from her.”
“Do you honestly think he’s been staying put all this time?”
“Maybe not, but it’s a starting point. Surely a bright law-enforcement officer such as yourself can be clever enough to follow his trail after that.”
“Flattery won’t help.”
“Bribery, then? Blackmail?”
Justin regarded him with indignation. “You’d resort to that, wouldn’t you?”
Harlan Patrick grinned. “Oh, yeah, and who knows all your sins better than me?”
Justin didn’t flinch at the threat. In fact, he seemed to be considering it thoughtfully. “Okay, then. Let’s concentrate on the bribery for a second.”
His straight-arrow cousin was open to bribery, actually soliciting it? Harlan Patrick couldn’t wait to hear what he had in mind. “Okay. What’ll it take?”
“Patsy and I want to build a new house on that land granddaddy intends to leave me out at White Pines.”
Harlan Patrick’s gaze narrowed. He wasn’t sure he liked where this was heading. Justin had always been very sneaky about tricking him into hard work, then taking off for parts unknown. “Exactly what does that have to do with me?” he asked suspiciously.
“We need labor. We need a strong back and lots of sweat. We want to do this ourselves.”
“Excuse me, but I see a slight contradiction here. If you want to build this all by your little lonesomes, why am I involved?”
“Because Patsy’s pregnant, in case you haven’t noticed. She might be able to hold a hammer, but it’s doubtful she could get close enough to actually hit a nail.”
“You’d better not let her hear you say that,” Harlan Patrick warned. “I’m told women are very sensitive on the subject of their waistlines, especially this late in a pregnancy. Besides, she won’t be pregnant forever. Isn’t the baby due any minute now?”
“True, but I’d like to have the frame of the house up as a surprise on the day we bring the baby home from the hospital.”
“Maybe you ought to go for walls, too, or were you intending to sell her on the idea of open-air living?”
“Very funny. I’m not planning on making her live there yet. I just want to show her it’s under way. Can I count on you?”
In exchange for a future with Laurie? He didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll give you twenty-four hours a day as soon as I get Laurie up to Ohio.” He regarded Justin evenly. “What about you, then? Can I count on you?”
Justin grinned. “Was there ever any doubt? I’m a cop. Nobody loves a good mystery more than me.”
“Thanks. I owe you.”
“Oh, yeah, and I intend to start collecting first thing tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? I was thinking of spending one day in Ohio before I came back.”
“Tomorrow,” Justin repeated. “I can’t count on this baby waiting around much longer. Patsy looks as if she’s about to pop.”
“I’ll be back tonight,” Harlan Patrick agreed with regret. He’d hoped for a long night with Laurie back in his arms. Maybe this was just as well, though. When they were together the next time, he wanted her full attention and he seriously doubted he would have it until she’d finally found her daddy.
* * *
Laurie was startled when they got to her hotel in Columbus and Harlan Patrick stayed outside the room, rather than following her inside. She’d also been a bit bemused by his lack of persistence when it came to keeping Amy Lynn with him for the next couple of weeks, but she’d been so grateful that she hadn’t questioned that.
“You’re not coming in?”
He shook his head. “I’ve got to get right back to Texas.”
“But I thought—”
“I’ll be back before you know it, darlin’.”
Conflicting emotions tore through her. She’d expected him to stay, to plague her about coming home, to be in her face for the next two weeks. It should have been a relief to know that he was leaving. It wasn’t. He was standing right next to her, and already she felt alone and abandoned.
“Why?” she asked, because she’d never gotten a chance to ask another man that very question. “Why are you leaving?”
“You’re going to be very busy the next couple of weeks, and I have some things to do. You won’t even have time to miss me.”
She missed him already.
He tilted her chin up. “I will be back. I promised Justin I’d help him with something, a surprise for Patsy. It’ll take a few days, maybe a week or two.”
“Fine. You do what you have to do,” she said finally, ungraciously.
He chuckled. “A man could almost get the idea that you’re not anxious to see me leave.”
She drew herself up and resorted to her haughtiest demeanor. “Don’t be silly. I never wanted you trailing after me in the first place.”
“When did you change your mind?” he asked, bending closer. “Was it when I did this?”
His mouth settled over hers, and his tongue slid between her lips. Laurie eased into the kiss as naturally as breathing.
“Or this?” he inquired, his hand doing a slow sweep over her hip before finally coming to rest just below her breast.
Her pulse raced.
He leaned back and gazed into her eyes. His own eyes were the deep, mysterious blue of dawn with the promise of excitement to come. His hand closed over her breast, and his thumb scraped over the nipple until she gasped with the wicked sweetness of the sensation.
“Could it be that?” he asked, laughter in his eyes now.
“If you have any other alternatives you intend to demonstrate, perhaps we ought to take this inside,” she suggested breathlessly.
“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he taunted. “Knowing that you could keep me here and have your way with me?”
Laurie felt a grin spreading across her face. “You bet.” Her smile broadened. “Dare you.”
Before she realized what he intended, he scooped her into his arms, walked into the room and kicked the door shut behind them.
“Darlin’, don’t you know better than to dare a man like me?”
She chuckled at his predictability and at the fire that made his skin burn to her touch. “Got you,” she taunted.
“Oh, no,” he said, heading for the suite’s bedroom. “I’ve got you.”
And in case she had any
doubts about that, he spent the next several hours proving it.
It was dawn before he left, sneaking from the bed that smelled of perfume and sex. He bent over to drop a kiss against her cheek.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promised. “Unless Justin murders me for being late this morning.”
“Love you,” she told him with a yawn.
“Remember that when you wake up,” he teased, and then he was gone.
Laurie’s eyes flew open at the sound of the door clicking softly closed. “I’ll never forget it again,” she whispered. “Never.”
* * *
Just as he had predicted, that day and the next she was so busy that she hardly had a second to spare. Val had lined up newspaper and television interviews, along with drop-in visits to a couple of country-music radio stations. At night there were her appearances at the Ohio State Fair, where the temperatures were wickedly hot, the air still and muggy. The wildly enthusiastic crowds more than made up for the discomfort.
It was only late at night that Laurie realized that she hadn’t heard a word from Harlan Patrick, but by then it was too late to call and morning brought a new and demanding round of commitments.
From Columbus the tour moved on to Cleveland, then west to Indianapolis, then south to Louisville. She was getting closer to home again, but for some reason she didn’t care to explore too closely the allure of Nashville wasn’t what it once had been. Something inside her knew that that brief visit to Los Piños had reminded her that her real home was in Texas and always would be.
Back in her dressing room after another wildly successful concert, she sorted through the stack of messages Val had left for her, hoping for one from Harlan Patrick. Nothing. She told herself she wasn’t disappointed, but the truth was that she felt let down and scared. It was as if he, too, had vanished from her life.
Val wandered into the dressing room carrying Amy Lynn.
“I thought you were taking her to the hotel,” Laurie said, reaching for her wide-awake daughter.
“Your daughter woke up about an hour ago and started fussing. Nothing I could do seemed to settle her down, so I figured we’d come on over here and see if seeing her mama could help.”
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