I'm Pretty Sure You're Gonna Miss Me Ronin McKinsey

by M. J. Padgett

  Once Rose was a safe distance from him, Daniel slid into the corner. “I don’t like this girl talk thing,” he mumbled.

  “That’s why you don’t interrupt a group of besties when they’re talking about boys,” Dizzy said.

  “But I’m Hazel’s best friend, so how does that work?” Daniel argued.

  “I’m her sister. I’m first,” Rose informed him. “Everyone else falls in line behind me.”

  “Yeah, and I’m Rose’s best friend, which makes me Hazel’s by default.” Dizzy gave Daniel a breakdown of how she saw the hierarchy of best friendship. It was all news to me as well, but the look on Daniel’s face was funny enough to let it continue without questioning Dizzy’s crazy ways.

  “No, no, no. Okay, I concede that Rose is number one. She’s the sister, but there is no way you’re number two. Ha-ha, number two,” Daniel got side-tracked for a moment but came back strong. “She spends all her time with me now, so I’m her best non-sibling friend.”

  “But I know more about her; therefore, I am the second-best.” Dizzy knew full-well she was irritating him, but it was his payback for annoying her.

  “No, no chance. Peaches is my best friend. She’s the only friend I have, which, mathematically and theoretically, makes it impossible for her to be anyone else’s best friend but mine.”

  “Your argument makes no sense whatsoever. It’s a load of number two. I’ve known her since elementary school, and you’ve known her what, like, three days?” Dizzy scoffed while Rose and I sat back and watched the show.

  “Psshht... Try, like, four days, but if you take that four days and multiply it by the number of heartfelt conversations we’ve had, add the number of times we ticked off her ex together, square that by the root of how many times we’ve kissed, times the number of balloons she’ll blow up for my birthday, carry the seven and you get... dun, dun, dun... one. Which is me. I’m number one!”

  “Your math is flawed.”

  “My math is perfect, isn’t it Peaches?”

  Both looked to me to settle the argument. I was put on the spot, not having a clue what to say about two people arguing over me. Lately, people were working overtime to ditch me from their lives as quickly as possible, so the turn of events was flattering, yet confusing.

  “Um...”

  “I’m kidding. Peaches can have as many best friends as she wants. She’s too awesome to keep to myself,” Daniel said, causing Dizzy to whip her head around so fast she nearly fell from the bed a second time. When she was finished assessing Daniel’s sincerity, she looked back at me. Her expression was clear—don’t screw it up.

  “I like him much better than Ronin. Don’t screw it up,” she said. I forgot Dizzy always said what she was thinking, which was why her comment caught me off-guard.

  “We’re just friends, right Peaches?” Daniel smiled and started flipping through one of Rose’s magazines. I didn’t like the statement. It hit me all wrong, the idea of being just friends. Surely, there was more to our friendship than the word just implied, but what was it? Somehow, he felt like more than a friend but less than... My thought was interrupted by Rose’s phone ringing.

  “Oh, gosh. It’s him. What do I do?” Rose asked me.

  “Answer it,” Daniel said, annoying Rose again.

  “I mean, what should I say?” she asked.

  “Say hello.” Daniel had no idea how close he was to the end of his life, but Dizzy did, and she distracted him with more magazines.

  “I guess what he said. He really is going to ask you out. He asked me if it was okay, and I said yes. He wants us to double date, so answer the phone already!” I said, pushing it closer to her.

  She answered and immediately slipped into a zombie-like state. She mumbled; she stuttered; she stammered, and, eventually, she said yes. “I’m such an idiot,” she said when she hung up the phone.

  “Sometimes guys like idiots,” Daniel said, and that was it for Rose. She yelled and sprang from the floor, pouncing on him and jabbing her thin fingers into his ribs. He tried to fight her off, but he failed, and she tickled him until he was purple. When she finally let him up for air, I couldn’t stop laughing.

  “Is it funny?” Daniel asked. “Do you think it’s still funny now?” He leaped at me, pinning me to the ground and tickling until I couldn’t breathe, but Dizzy, the friend that she was, tackled him to the ground. Before long, my mother had to intervene—probably because she had a serious issue with us duct-taping Daniel to the chair to tickle him.

  “Crap, we have half an hour to get ready!” Rose yelped and darted to the bathroom.

  “I’ll help,” Dizzy said and ran off to catch Rose.

  “Oh, boy! Is this the part where I get to learn about make-up and shoes?” Daniel teased, so I plastered the duct tape over his mouth. He mumbled something incoherent, so I ripped the tape back off to hear better.

  “Ahhh! Why did you do that?” he yelled. “I was giving you a compliment!”

  “Oops, sorry, couldn’t hear you,” I said flippantly. Daniel was still sitting in the chair with no one else around, no one to impress, just the two of us. He had no one to make jealous, no one to make a show for, no reason to give me a compliment. He just... wanted to.

  “I was trying to be nice and look what you did,” he said, pointing to the red mark on his face.

  “Okay, what was it then?” I asked, a bit nervous though I had no clue why.

  “Wear that red dress, the one with the little sparkly belt thing,” he said. “You look really beautiful in that.”

  “The dress I wore to Josh Salazar’s party last summer?” I purchased the dress for that party, and I hadn’t worn it since. I barely remembered it myself, and I didn’t remember seeing Daniel at that party—not that I would. I’d only realized he existed after the fire alarm incident.

  “Yeah, that one.” The tint on his cheeks returned. I thought there was probably no harm in wearing it. Besides, the dress would probably drive Ronin crazy, too. Red was his favorite color, after all.

  “That’s a good idea. It’ll drive Ronin nuts,” I said.

  “I think it’ll drive any guy in a five-mile radius nuts, Peaches,” he said, then left the room so I could get ready.

  I found the dress in the back of my closet, a little wrinkled, but it would fall out with some wear. I slipped it on and buckled the glittery belt, appreciating the suggestion. I left my hair down, but ran a blow dryer over it to liven it up, then painted my lips red. A little mascara—okay, maybe three coats for good measure—and voila!

  It felt good to doll up a little, even if it wasn’t a real date. Ronin never really liked it when I wore heels. He said it made him feel short, but Daniel was easily eight inches taller than me, so I slipped them on without worry. I was probably overdressed for a movie, but when I walked into the hall and saw Rose just as dressed-up, I felt better about it.

  Dizzy whispered in my ear, “Someone is staring at you.”

  I glanced down the hall where Daniel was waiting. My mother had loaned him one of my father’s shirts so we wouldn’t have to go by his house on the way. He looked great. A simple button-down shirt paired with his usual jeans. He’d even run a comb through his hair, an attempt to control the messiness that failed but still looked so amazing on him.

  “Um...” I stuttered, realizing I was staring at him, too. “Should we go? We don’t want to be late.”

  “You look... I mean... Do we have to go out tonight?” Daniel asked, ignoring the fact that my sister and Dizzy were standing right there.

  “Why? Are you feeling okay? Is something wrong?” I asked.

  He shook his head a little, then offered me his hand. “Nothing. No, I’m fine. Let’s go have some fun.” I took his hand, nothing we hadn’t done a million times before, and he led me to the front door with Rose trailing behind us. Dizzy was totally fine hanging out with our mother until we returned, one of the reasons she was such a great friend.

  The other reason? Her ability to make me see so
mething I hadn’t before. She pulled me aside and motioned for Daniel to go ahead. “Daniel, she’ll be right out. I just remembered I need to ask her something.”

  “Cool, shall we?” Daniel offered Rose his arm, which she took with a sarcastic little smirk. The two left through the front door, leaving me alone with Dizzy.

  “Hazel, please don’t screw this up. Whatever it is you think you have to do with Ronin, let it go. Just let it go,” she urged.

  “Dizzy, I appreciate—”

  “Did you not see that? Are you as blind as you are stupid when it comes to boys?”

  “Excuse me?” I asked indignantly. How dare she call me... Okay, I was stupid when it came to boys.

  “Oh, don’t play games with me. You know I’m right. Just do me a favor, one favor, and I’ll stop annoying you about Daniel and Ronin.”

  I sighed. “Fine, what is it?”

  “When you walk out that door, forget about Ronin. For one night, forget about him entirely. No deal with Daniel, no making Ronin jealous, no getting him back. Forget it all for just one night, tonight.” With that, she shoved me out the door.

  She was an odd duck, too, that Dizzy. But she was also smart. I did just as she asked, only because I wanted to make a point. I wanted to prove that Ronin was right for me, and her ridiculous thoughts of Daniel swooping in to steal my heart away were just that—ridiculous.

  I got into the passenger seat of my own car, letting Daniel drive us to the theater to meet Tee. Rose and Daniel were already in the middle of a conversation about the movie we were headed to see—already more than she and Ronin ever spoke, so when I settled in, I didn’t interrupt them. His eyes lit up, a brilliant green I couldn’t stop staring at. Hazel eyes... Daniel laughed at what my sister said—not fake, a real laugh. He glanced at me and gave me an appreciative smile, really seeing me. At least, it felt that way since no one had ever looked at me that way before.

  “You look beautiful, Peaches,” he said, then gave his attention back to Rose.

  Crooked smile, pretty eyes. Daniel made me laugh a lot, smile more than most, and didn’t give a care about what anyone thought about him. Solid, that’s what I saw when I looked at Daniel. Someone reliable, someone I could trust and count on when I needed him.

  I didn’t know how Dizzy knew. I couldn’t say how she figured it all out. But just as sure as I sat there, I was falling for Daniel Starnes.

  “You okay, Peaches?” he asked, glancing at me once more before he put the car in drive.

  I nodded and clicked my seatbelt into place. Click. Just a little click, the sound of a big, fat realization falling on my head. I liked Daniel. I liked Daniel a lot, and Ronin McKinsey was slowly fading into the background.

  Chapter Nine

  TO SAY I DIDN’T CARE at all about Ronin was an overstatement. It wasn’t entirely true. That, coupled with my insecurities, made me talk myself out of Daniel as an option before we’d even set foot in the movie theater. The fact was, Daniel was a genius, and I was not—not even close. Daniel had his future mapped out. He knew what he wanted, and I was not part of that plan. He said as much himself when he said we were just friends.

  Geez, Hazel. Why do you do these things to yourself? I loved an idiot, and I was falling for a genius. Neither wanted me as anything more than an ex-girlfriend or a friend, respectively. Whatever Dizzy saw, or thought she saw, was probably far more one-sided than she realized.

  I caught Daniel staring at me, which was naughty since he was supposed to be driving. “Peaches, seriously, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. A little tired, that’s all,” I said, not a total lie. I was tired—tired of trying to figure boys out, of guessing what it was about me that made them run away screaming, of trying to change who I was to make everyone else happy while I slowly realized I was miserable.

  Daniel pulled into the lot and parked. I saw Tee waiting by the ticket booth on the phone, but he hung up when he saw us approaching.

  “Wow, you guys look great,” he said, causing Rose to live up to her name with a pinkish tinge to her cheeks.

  “Thanks,” Daniel said.

  Tee tore his eyes from my sister and looked at Daniel. “I meant the... Oh, never mind. I went ahead and got four tickets since the line was getting long.” He handed Daniel two tickets and started talking to Rose, leaving me to come up with something to say to Daniel. It wasn’t a date, but it was to everyone else watching. It was a non-date date that I wished was a date but wasn’t. See? Tired.

  “I wish you’d tell me what’s bothering you. Maybe I can help?” Daniel asked, slipping his fingers through mine. It wasn’t necessary to show so much affection since Ronin was nowhere to be found, but he did it anyway. Maybe it’s what he imagined best friends did? Curse Dizzy and her mouth. Now I questioned every move Daniel made, wondering if it was part of the plan, just something we did as friends or something else entirely.

  “I really am tired,” I said, faking a yawn that turned into a real one.

  “You can nap on my shoulder if you want, or I can take you home. I don’t think they’ll miss us much.” He pointed over his shoulder at Rose and Tee, who were lost in conversation. I really didn’t want to bail on my sister, but the thought of sitting with Daniel next to me for two hours, debating his feelings in my head, made me want to vomit.

  My loyalty to my sister overruled my insecurity. It would prove to be a difficult movie to watch, though. Too much gore and guts for my taste, which meant I regularly covered my eyes or shoved my face into Daniel’s shoulder, waiting for the blood to disappear from the screen. He didn’t seem to mind, but every time I did it, I felt silly. It was all very ridiculous, to fall for a guy I’d only known a few days. He was just being kind and helping me out, and in return, he would get a prom date out of the deal. That was it. He was kind, and I needed a nice, sweet friend—not a boyfriend whose brain I would never understand.

  “Excuse me, I need to use the ladies’ room,” I said, unsure if I was excusing myself because the movie made me want to puke, or because I wanted to clear my mind of Daniel.

  “Do you need me to come with you?” Daniel asked.

  “I’ve been going potty unassisted for many years, so I think I’m good,” I said, mortifying myself as the words fell from my mouth. What an idiot. My brain was not even in the same realm as his, let alone the same room.

  He smirked. “Well, I could—”

  “Do not finish that sentence. Whatever it was, do not finish it,” I said.

  “I was gonna say I could go get some more snacks while you’re gone, but now I’m curious to know what gutter your mind is in?” he asked, irritating the man behind him who shushed him, only making Daniel speak louder. “Maybe another bucket of popcorn would be nice!”

  “Shh, Daniel!” I fussed as I walked away as fast as I could. My face probably looked like a giant tomato. I didn’t have to go, but I did need to regain my composure. Thinking of Daniel as anything other than a friend, a best friend, was moronic on so many levels. Back to plan A, get him a date, and get Ronin back.

  Ronin and I were better suited to one another, and I had a feeling when I saw him again, all those old feelings would return in full force. I managed to pry myself away from Daniel long enough to slip into the empty ladies’ room, give myself a pep talk, and fix my makeup. Once my mind was somewhat clear, I reminded myself one last time that Daniel did not need his best friend to fall for him and headed toward the door.

  I opened the bathroom door, and of course—because my life was one cliché drama after another—there was Ronin. He stood at the snack counter, tapping his debit card on the glass countertop. Tanner and Sara were with him, but Sara didn’t look very thrilled about it.

  Sara glanced my way, just as I was retreating into the safety of the bathroom again. I’d just lock myself in there for two or three hours, long enough for them to see their movie and leave. If I was lucky, Sara hadn’t recognized me, and I would be just fine. I forgot I was a hugely unlucky perso
n.

  Sara threw the door open, almost smacking me in the face with it. “Oh, I didn’t see you there.”

  She walked to the mirror to freshen up, and I noticed a few new things about her. Her blonde hair was a lot blonder, her eyelashes a lot faker, her lip gloss a bright shade of pink, and her clothes were a size too small. Perhaps it was an attempt to keep Ronin’s eyes on her alone, but if a clown car had rolled through the bathroom to pick her up, it wouldn’t have surprised me. She looked ridiculous. If she knew Ronin at all, she’d have known that was not what he liked.

  “What are you staring at?” she snapped.

  “Nothing. Nothing at all,” I said, pulling the door open to escape the strawberry-lotion scented ex-friend of mine.

  She pushed the door closed, and with one long pointy finger, she poked my chest. “Listen, Hazel, and listen close. Ronin is mine now. You had your chance, and you screwed it up, so stay the away from my boyfriend.”

  “Funny, your boyfriend wants to talk to me about getting back together tomorrow at lunch, did you know that?” I wasn’t sure that’s what Ronin wanted to discuss, but I didn’t care. It made her mad, and that was the point.

  She laughed. “No, he wants to meet you to apologize for being mean, which he wasn’t. You were a freak, but for some reason, he feels bad about how things happened.”

  “Whatever, Sara. Are you done now? I’m here with friends.”

  “What friends, Hazel?” she asked in a sing-song voice that made me want to flush her head down a toilet. A stall door opened, and a girl our age stepped out. I hadn’t even noticed she was there until she appeared at the sink station, which meant she had heard my personal pep talk and, well, all the other crazy things I said to myself before Sara. Poor girl, she’d probably stayed in the safety of the stall as long as she could in the presence of crazy people.

  Sara rolled her eyes at her, irritated she interrupted our little spat. “Just stay away from him. Am I clear?”

  With that, she stomped out the door in a whirl of strawberry stink. The girl, dressed in a theater uniform, washed her hands in silence. Once she was finished, she pulled a few towels from the dispenser and gave me a look.