by Peter Wright
• Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
[GW] Envy of other women’s beauty (competitive edge for securing male resources),36 and a potential for penis envy (a symbolic generalization representing male potency and provision).37
• A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
[GW] Displays an attitude and behavior of superiority over, and concomitant contempt for, men and boys.21, 38, 39
Gynocentrism can further be identified among items in the online narcissism lexicon:
Narcissistic supply is a concept introduced into psychoanalytic theory by Otto Fenichel in 1938 to describe a type of admiration, interpersonal support or sustenance drawn by an individual from his or her environment and essential to their self-esteem. The term is typically used in a negative sense, describing a pathological or excessive need for attention or admiration that does not take into account the feelings, opinions or preferences of other people. Self psychologist Heinz Kohut saw those with narcissistic personality disorder as disintegrating mentally when cut off from a regular source of narcissistic supply. Those providing supply to such figures may be treated as if they are a part of the narcissist, in an eclipse of all personal boundaries.40 These same motivations and behaviors can be readily seen in women’s search for, and expectation of, chivalric supplies from men.33
Narcissistic injury is a psychological wounding of the self through lack of ego-reinforcing supplies (narcissistic supplies). Such a blow typically lowers the narcissist’s self-esteem and produces feelings of humiliation, shame and rage.41 When it comes to narcissistic supplies women are often afforded priority over men, as we witness in common phrases such as “The wedding is her special day,” “Ladies before gentlemen,” “Aint nobody happy if mamma isn’t made happy,” “Women and girls first,” “Whatever she wants, she gets,” “Men must pay the bill for dinner,” etc. When denied the experience of such gynocentric entitlements women tend to experience injury and may express a sense of aggrieved entitlement.24
Narcissistic rage is a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is a perceived threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or self-worth. It occurs on a continuum, which may range from instances of aloofness and expressions of mild irritation or annoyance to serious outbursts, including violent attacks and murder. For Heinz Kohut, narcissistic rage is related to narcissists’ need for total control of their environment, including “the need for revenge, for righting a wrong, for undoing a hurt by whatever means.”42 It is an attempt by the narcissist to turn from a passive sense of victimization to an active role in giving pain to others, while at the same time attempting to rebuild their own (actually false) sense of self-worth.43 It may also involve self-protection and preservation, with rage serving to restore a sense of safety and power by destroying that which had threatened the narcissist. Viewed in the context of gynocentric relationships, the narcissistic rage, or rather gynocentric rage, is captured in the phrase “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” which indicates that a woman who cannot make someone love her can become extremely angry and vindictive.
In their paper aptly titled The Allure of Sexism, Matthew D. Hammond et.al. studied whether women’s feeling of entitlement to special treatments — which they emphasize is a central facet of narcissism based on feelings of superiority and deservingness — was linked with endorsement of benevolent sexism by women across time. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the study found that a psychological sense of entitlement in women does mediate endorsement of benevolent sexism. Moreover, the researchers theorized that characteristics of narcissistic entitlement – those which drive resource-attainment and self-enhancement strategies – are the same qualities that promote women’s adoption of benevolent sexism:
“First, benevolent sexism facilitates the capacity to gain material resources and complements feelings of deservingness by promoting a structure of intimate relationships in which men use their access to social power and status to provide for women (Chen et al., 2009). Second, benevolent sexism reinforces beliefs of superiority by expressing praise and reverence of women, emphasizing qualities of purity, morality, and culture which make women the ‘‘fairer sex.’’ Indeed, identifying with these kinds of gender-related beliefs (e.g., women are warm) fosters a more positive self-concept (Rudman, Greenwald, & McGhee, 2001).
Moreover, for women higher in psychological entitlement, benevolent sexism legitimizes a self-centric approach to relationships by emphasizing women’s special status within the intimate domain and men’s responsibilities of providing and caring for women. Such care involves everyday chivalrous behaviors, such as paying on a first date and opening doors for women (Sarlet et al., 2012; Viki et al., 2003), to more overarching prescriptions for men’s behavior toward women, such as being ‘‘willing to sacrifice their own well-being’’ to provide for women and to ensure women’s happiness by placing her ‘‘on a pedestal’’ (Ambivalent Sexism Inventory; Glick & Fiske, 1996). Thus, women higher in psychological entitlement should be particularly enticed by benevolent sexism because it justifies provision and praise from men as expected behavior and does not require women to reciprocate the reverence or material gains, which men provide.’ (Hammond, et.al., 2014, pp. 3-4).”33
Recognition of narcissism among feminist women is also not new. In her paper ‘Who Put The “Me” in Feminism,’ Imogen Tyler admits to the widespread recognition of narcissism in the feminist movement by wider society. Tyler attempts to put a positive spin on the practice, reframing the predilection among feminists as one of downtrodden women’s attempt to develop an independent, healthy narcissistic identity not tied to patriarchal demands. In her paper Tyler advocates what she views as the hidden benefits of female narcissism:
“Feminism exposes and challenges the sexual politics of narcissism both by making prevailing forms of narcissism visible (the homo-social bond) and by encouraging new self-conscious forms of narcissism amongst women to emerge.”
“In this article I have examined what is at stake in the attribution of narcissism to femininity and feminism, and the routes through which arguments about ‘feminist narcissism’ became central to the popular abjection of feminism… Despite the ways in which narcissism has been consistently employed as a rhetorical means of denigrating women and delegitimizing feminist politics, I have also demonstrated the central role of narcissistic theories of identity in enabling feminist theorists to prise open the mechanisms of feminine identity and critique the sexual politics of identity practices.”44
What has been men’s role in promoting gynocentric narcissism?
Firstly we can say that men have played a principle role in aiding and abetting the growth of gynocentrism among women, motivated in large part by a desire to form relationships with them. Secondly, as Paul Elam recently pointed out in an article Daddy’s Little Nightmare, men encourage narcissism in their daughters:
It’s quite ironic, listening to a man complain about how his wife has crazy unreal expectations. He bemoans the fact that she cannot be satisfied, no matter what he does. He claims that he pulls his hair out trying to figure out how to satisfy her endless demands only to be met with more disapproval and, of course, more demands. He wonders aloud how she ever learned to be such a bottomless pit, and such a bitch about it.
Then you go watch him interact with his four-year old daughter, whom he will endlessly coddle and for whom he will go to any measure to make sure she never lacks anything, no matter how trivial.
And it doesn’t stop when she turns five. Or fifteen, or twenty-five. When it comes to turning human females into paragons of pissy entitlement, the western father has few rivals.45
Suffice to say that many men are complicit in maintaining the status quo, creating a culture of exaggerated benevolent sexism in order to gain romantic access to women. The subsequent relationship dynamic is one they may come to find destructive to their emotional and physical wellbeing and thus unsustainable. Some of them adjust to a gynocentric relat
ionship by resigning their dreams and emotional needs and playing the role of what is disparagingly referred to as a cuck or servile partner, perhaps rationalizing that gynocentrism is ‘the way of nature.’ Gynocentrism is likewise upheld at the social level, relying equally on a heterosexual compact between women and male politicians, for example, or women and male court magistrates who are eager to demonstrate their chivalric credentials.
Another group of men, however, are making a conscious decision to avoid gynocentric relationships by searching for a woman who does not subscribe to extreme gynocentrism, or alternatively by adopting the life of a confirmed bachelor or MGTOW and engaging in meaningful activities and relationships that can fill the breach.
Summary
Most academic studies find males as a group score higher on narcissism scales than do females.46 However those findings may be misleading because the instruments used and their factor structures may be more effective at tapping male expressions of narcissism. Women’s narcissism may be less global in its expression because women might not feel entitled, for example, to special treatment by all non-intimate males nor by other women, whereas they may feel highly entitled to special treatment in intimate relationships with men and boys, as detailed above.
This essay demonstrates that the DSM-5 criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder is significantly correlated with behaviors and expectations of gynocentric women, which leads to the conclusion that gynocentrism is a gendered expression of narcissism operating in the limiting context of heterosexual relations.
References
[1] Ovid, Metamorphoses, Volume I: Books 1-8 Loeb Classical Library (1946)
[2] The tale of Princess Cottongrass and its utility as a metaphor of the narcissistic personality is elaborated by Nathan Schwartz-Salant in his book Narcissism and Character Transformation (1982)
[3] Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.), Arlington: American Psychiatric Publishing, pp. 669–72, (2013)
[4] Stephen Sherrill, Acquired Situational Narcissism, interview with Robert B. Millman, New York Times, (Dec 9, 2001)
[5] Christopher Lasch, The Culture of Narcissism: American Life in an Age of Diminishing Expectations (1979)
[6] Jean Twenge, Generation Me (2006) and The Narcissism Epidemic (2009)
[7] Golec de Zavala, A, Cichocka, A., Eidelson, R., & Jayawickreme, N. Collective narcissism and its social consequences, in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 97.6 (2009)
[8] John Banja, Medical Errors and Medical Narcissism (2005)
[9] Stephen Sherrill, Acquired Situational Narcissism, interview with Robert B. Millman, New York Times, (Dec 9, 2001)
[10] Linda McSweeny, It’s Official: Power Creates A Narcissist, Pursuit, Inside Business, University of Melbourne (May, 2018)
[11] Peter Wright, Bastardized Chivalry: From Concern for Weakness to Sexual Exploitation, New Male Studies, (Dec 2018)
[12] Lester Frank Ward, Pure sociology: A treatise on the origin and spontaneous development of society. (1903).
[13] George A. Birmingham, From Dublin to Chicago: Some Notes on a Tour in America. (1914)
[14] Iris Marion Young, Humanism, gynocentrism and feminist politics. Women’s Studies International Forum. Vol. 8. No. 3. Pergamon, 1985.
[15] Peter Wright, Feminism, sex-differences and chivalry (2016), and Gynocentrism’s love affair with gender differences (2017), published at Gynocentrism and its Cultural Origins (gynocentrism.com).
[16] Paul Elam and Alison Tieman, Discussing Gynocentrism | HBR Debate 7 | Youtube (March 2018)
[17] Paul Elam, Gynocentrism: The Root of Feminism, speech delivered to International Conference on Men’s Issues, London (2016)
[18] Katherine K. Young and Paul Nathanson, Sanctifying Misandry, [p. 58] (2010)
[19] Adam Kostakis, Lecture 2: The Same Old Gynocentric Story, Gynocentrism theory Lectures (2011)
[20] Adam Kostakis, Lecture 11. The Eventual Outcome of Feminism, Part II, Gynocentrism theory Lectures (2011)
[21] Adam Kostakis, Lecture 2. Pig Latin, Gynocentrism theory Lectures (2011)
[22] Peter Wright, Bastardized Chivalry: From Concern for Weakness to Sexual Exploitation, New Male Studies Journal, December 2018
[23] Peter Wright, Damseling, chivalry and courtly love (part one), (2016) (Gynocentrism.com)
[24] Dennis Gouws, Not So Romantic For Men: Using Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe to Explore Evolving Notions of Chivalry, in Voicing the Silences of Social and Cognitive Justice, 167–178. (2018)
and Their Impact on Twenty-First-Century Manhood
[25] Peter Ryan, Diagnosing Gynocentrism (2018)(gynocentrism.com).
[26] Staff writer, “Gynocentrism”, in Encyclopedia.com. (2005)
[27] Staff writer, “Gynocentric”, in OED, ed. Oxford English Dictionary. Oxford University Press. (2010)
[28] Peter Wright, Gynocentrism: From Feudalism to the Modern Disney Princess, Amazon Books (2014)
[29] Mary Field Belenky, et al. Women’s ways of knowing: The development of self, voice, and mind. (1986)
[30] Carol Gilligan, In a different voice, Harvard University. (1984)
[31] Douglas Galbi, cultural construction of Reddy’s The Making of Romantic Love (2015), and Musa iocosa: vital medieval poetic medicine for pedestalizing women. at PurpleMotes.com (2018)
[32] Stephen Jarosek, Transcending Scientism: Mending Broken Culture’s Broken Science, (2017)
[33] Matthew D. Hammond, et.al. The allure of sexism: Psychological entitlement fosters women’s endorsement of benevolent sexism over time. Social Psychological and Personality Science 5.4 (2014)
[34] William Collins, The Empathy Gap, article published at The Illustrated Empathy Gap. http://empathygap.uk (2016)
[35] Janice Fiamengo, The Empathy Gap – Fiamengo File Episode 4, YouTube. (2015)
[36] Nancy Friday, Chapter on envy in The power of beauty. London: Hutchinson, (1996).
[37] Gerald Schoenewolf, Feminism and ‘gender narcissism,’ published on A Voice for Men website (2017).
[38] Paul Nathanson, and Katherine K. Young. Spreading misandry: The teaching of contempt for men in popular culture. McGill-Queen’s Press-MQUP, (2001).
[39] Gerald Schoenewolf, Feminism and ‘gender narcissism,’ published on A Voice for Men website (2017).
[40] Narcissistic supply, entry in Wikipedia (2018)
[41] Arthur S. Reber. Narcissistic injury, definition in The Penguin dictionary of psychology. Penguin Press, 1995.
[42] Elsa Ronningstam. Identifying and understanding the narcissistic personality. Oxford [Oxfordshire]: Oxford University Press. pp. 86–87. (2005)
[43] Narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury, entry in Wikipedia (2018)
[44] Imogen Tyler, ‘Who put the “Me” in feminism?’: The sexual politics of narcissism. Feminist Theory (2005)
[45] Paul Elam, Daddy’s Little Nightmare, published at A Voice for Men, (2019)
[46] Grijalva, E., Newman, et.al., Gender differences in narcissism: A meta-analytic review. Psychological bulletin, 141(2), 261. (2015).
PART THREE
Lester Ward’s Gynocentrism Theory
13. Women: Our Better Halves (1898)
Lester Frank Ward delivered this his first major essay on Gynæcocentrism Theory in 1888, entitled Our Better Halves. The speech was delivered at the Fourteenth Dinner of the Six O’clock Club in Washington on April 26, 1888, at Willard’s Hotel, where Sex Equality was selected as the evening’s topic. Distinguished women in Washington on that day were invited to the Club, among them being Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Miss Phoebe Couzins, Mrs. Croly (Jennie June), Mrs. N. P. Willis, and a number of others equally well known.
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But let us now inquire what grounds there are for accepting this mental and physical inferiority of women as something inherent in the nature of things. Is it really true that the larger part taken by the female in the work of reproduction necessarily impairs her strength, dwa
rfs her proportions, and renders her a physically inferior and dependent being? In most human races it may be admitted that women are less stalwart than men, although all the stories of Amazonian tribes are not mere fictions. It is also true, as has been insisted upon, that the males of most mammals and birds exceed the females in size and strength, and often differ from them greatly in appearance.
But this is by no means always the case. The fable of the hedgehog that won the race with the hare by cunningly stationing Mrs. Hedgehog at the other end of the course, instructed to claim the stakes, is founded upon an exception which has many parallels. Among birds there are cases in which the rule is reversed. There are some entire families, as for example the hawks, in which the females exceed the males. If we go further down the scale, however, we find this attribute of male superiority to disappear almost entirely throughout the reptiles and amphibians, with a decided leaning toward female supremacy; and in the fishes, where male rivalry does not exist, the female, as every fisherman knows, is almost invariably the heavier game.
But it is not until we go below the vertebrate series and contemplate the invertebrate and vegetable worlds that we really begin to find the data for a philosophical study of the meaning of sex. It has been frequently remarked that the laws governing the higher forms of life can be rightly comprehended only by an acquaintance with the lower and more formative types of being. In no problem is this more true than in that of sex.