by JL Bryan
Chapter Eleven
Aoide's feet ached. She and her bandmates had left Sidhe City bright and early, departing through the western gate, under the shadow of a bronze statue of Queen Mab. They'd been walking all day, feeling the packs on their backs grow heavier as the afternoon dragged on. They had passed pastures full of plaid and polka-dotted sheep, and others inhabited by large burrowing groundpigs, one of which poked a curious snout out of his hole when they walked by.
Now the four of them moved aside as a giant caterpillar raced past, heading west. Covered wooden benches were roped on top of its body segments. About half the seats were occupied by fairies and other Folk.
“I wish we could take a caterpillar,” Rhodia complained.
“We don't have the fare,” Aoide said.
“I don't think caterpillars run all the way out to the Hauntlands, anyway,” Neus said.
“Halfway would be better than nothing,” Rhodia said. “Walking is stupid.”
“Would you rather leave the boys behind and take our chances flying alone?” Aoide asked.
“I'd rather not go at all,” Rhodia said. She flipped her long pink hair, which had gone sweaty and flat. “If we ever catch those man-whelps that stole our instruments, I'm going to wring all their necks. And then shove them face-down in a spitting-ant mound.”
“I think I'm getting hoof splints,” Neus said. “Those wolves better help us.”
“What if they don't want to?” Skezg asked.
Everyone walked quietly, letting that question hang in the air.
As the sun set ahead of them, the forest became illuminated by swarms of chirping fireflies, painting the road and the trees around them in shades of orange, yellow and purple.
“Oh, goody,” Rhodia said, pointing. “Gumdrops.”
Ahead of them, on the left side of the road, was an orchard full of blossoming gumdrop trees.
“Yum, I'm starving!” Skezg tramped off the road and into the orchard, where he began ripping brightly colored gumdrops from the branches.
“Wait, we don't know whose orchard that is!” Aoide said.
“Who cares?” Rhodia flicked her wings and jumped up to the top of a tree, where she plucked several green gumdrops. “These better be apple. I hate mint.”
“Neus, do you think this is a good idea?” Aoide asked, but the faun was already springing over the ditch at the side of the road, into the orchard.
She watched the three of them stuffing their faces on the sweet fruit. Her stomach was rumbling. So far, nobody had showed up to stop them.
“I guess one or two little pieces won't hurt,” Aoide said. She fluttered to the largest tree and plucked two red gumdrops. She bit into the first one, and it tasted like cherries. She quickly ate it, then moved onto the other, which had a strawberry flavor.
“Ugh!” Skezg spit out a piece of purple fruit. “Boysenberry. Thought it would be grape.”
They took off their packs and reclined against the trees, resting their swollen feet.
“When we get our instruments back,” Rhodia said, “Let's never let them out of our sight again. Not even for half a hummingbird flutter. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” Neus said.
“I can't even think about instruments right now,” Skezg said. His eyes were drooping. “I just want to find a nice termite bed and go to sleep.”
“Where are we going to sleep?” Rhodia asked. “I don't see an inn anywhere. Not even a little nap-and-nibble.”
“We couldn't even afford to stay at the cheapest nap-and-nibble,” Aoide said. “Unless someone's opened one in a barn behind their house.”
“Maybe there's a nice cave,” Skezg said.
“I don't smell one,” Neus replied.
“Then maybe we sleep...right here....” The ogre's eyes drifted closed, and his head sagged forward onto his hairy orange chest.
Aoide looked up at the stars and moons, wondering how they could have reached this low point in their lives. Her eyelids began to droop, too.
A loud, sizzling screech pierced the silence. An arrow thunked into the tree above Skezg's head, and the ogre jumped.
Then the arrow exploded, sending a cascade of bright gold and silver glitter down onto the ogre. Skezg jumped up, howling, beating at little trails of multi-colored smoke that erupted from his fur as the glitter ignited.
“Glitter arrows!” Neus shouted, as another exploded in the air above his head. Sizzling, burning glitter fell all over him.
Everyone jumped to their feet as the arrows whizzed around them, trailing the sparkly crackles of deadly glitter. Aoide ducked as an arrow sliced by her head, igniting wisps of her violet hair, which she hurried to pat out with her bare hand. Another arrow shot straight down from above her, thunked into the ground between her feet, and spilled hot, burning glitter all over her toes.
“Ow!” Aoide danced around, shaking the glitter from her feet. She looked up and saw a young male fairy, probably only two or three centuries old, circling above them. The swirling reds and oranges of his wings had the intense bright colors of the very young. He fired another arrow, which clipped one of Neus's horns.
“Stop that, you ditch-troll!” Aoide shouted.
He laughed and flew behind a tree, out of sight.
More arrows crackled towards them from every direction. Aoide saw more fairies in the moonlight, mounted on goatback, darting from one tree to another and firing glitter arrows in between.
“Watch my hair!” Rhodia shrieked as another glitter arrow burst near her face.
The arrows stopped flying. Four fairies rode toward them on goats, with more glitter arrows notched in their bows. They were mostly young, two males and a female, plus one older fairy with a long beard and fading red wings. The youngest one perched on a branch overhead, pointing an arrow at Aoide. All of them wore the dingy, dirt-stained clothes of farmers who’d been working out in the fields.
“Gumdrop thieves!” the old bearded one snarled.
“Oh,” Aoide said. “We're sorry.”
“That's gonna cost you a silver piece each,” he said.
“A whole silver just for a handful of gumdrops?” Rhodia asked. “That's far too much.”
“Stolen gumdrops,” the old fairy said.
“I'm sorry, we don't have any silver,” Aoide said. “We were just desperate and hungry—”
“No silver?” the old fairy asked. “Then give back the gumdrops. Now.”
“We already ate them,” Aoide said. “I'm so sorry.”
“Give 'em back anyway,” the old fairy said.
“Gross,” Rhodia said.
“If you don't give 'em back, my daughter Soeche will cut them out of you.”
The girl farmer-fairy drew a long, sharp flint blade from a sheath on her back.
“May I suggest a solution?” Skezg said.
“What's that?” Neus asked.
“We should run. Fast. Now,” the ogre replied.
“You know,” Rhodia said. “That's a pretty good idea.”
The four of them raced out of the orchard and back onto the cobblestone road. The farmer fairies chased on goatback, unleashing more glitter arrows.
Aoide and Rhodia leaped into the air and flew along the road, dodging glitter arrows left and right. The faun and the ogre ran along the road below them.
Everyone put on speed as the farmer fairies charged after them, firing more arrows. Aoide flew as fast as her wings could beat.
The farmer fairies pursued them a long way, but eventually ran out of arrows and turned back toward their farm.
“We better not catch you in our gumdrops again!” the girl fairy shouted, as a parting shot.
The four band members kept hurrying on down the road until the incident was far behind them. Aoide and Rhodia fluttered to the ground to join their friends. Everyone was panting and sweaty.
“We...showed...them...” Rhodia gasped.
“We're lucky they gave up,” Neus said.
“They were right, you know,” Aoide said. “We shouldn't have stolen their gumdrops.”
“What else could we do? I was starving,” Rhodia said. “Now I'm just tired as a hippopotamus after a marathon.”
“Did anyone remember to grab their packs?” Neus asked.
The four of them looked around. All their supplies, including their tents and sleeping rolls, had been left behind in the orchard. All they had left was their water canteens.
“Oh, this is awful! Whatever shall we do?” Rhodia asked dramatically.
“We're in luck,” Skezg said. His nose snuffled the air, and he followed it into the woods alongside the road. Aoide shrugged and followed.
He led the four of them down a narrow rabbit-path to a clearing in the woods, full of wildflowers that stank like rotten sausage, and plants bristling with bruise-colored spikes. Skezg sighed and sprawled out on the ground.
“Ew, it's nothing but stinkblossoms and uglywort,” Rhodia said. “Tell me this isn't where you want to stop.”
“It's so nice,” Skezg sighed, closing his eyes.
“You know, he has a point,” Neus said. “Stinkblossoms eat bugs. They'll keep the insects off us.”
“Yeah, but they smell puke-a-licious,” Rhodia replied.
“I personally don't care right now,” Aoide said. “I just want to drop somewhere and crash.” She folded and tucked her wings and lay on the ground near the big orange ogre. Neus found a spot to curl up.
“Ugh, you aren't serious,” Rhodia said. She reluctantly sat on a log covered in uglywort. “This is the worst vacation ever.”
“It's not a vacation,” Neus said.
“Whatever it is, I hate it,” Rhodia said.
“It's going to be a lot worse when we reach the Hauntlands,” Aoide said, without opening her eyes.
“At this point, I just hope some monster eats us,” Rhodia replied. “Then we can finally stop walking.”
“We'll be fine,” Aoide said. She tried not to think about the dangers ahead of them in the haunted places. After a while, Rhodia quit grumbling and began lightly snoring. As exhausted as she was, Aoide took a long time to fall asleep, worrying about how they would deal with real monsters when they'd nearly been defeated by a bunch of farmer fae.