His brows snapped down and he shook his head slightly. “Well, I thought so. Or I used to think so. At least until recently.”
“How do you view your lifestyle now?”
Shaking his head, he said, “I now look back and it all seems like I was just running away. That all those meaningless flings were nothing more than immediate sexual gratification, but they weren’t making me happy. Not really, not for long.”
“Meaningless can keep you from feeling. No feelings keep you from being involved and not being involved keeps you from feeling hurt when the ending is not what you’d hoped it would be or what you feel it should have been.”
Eyes wide, he nodded. “Exactly. I’d never considered that, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I haven’t wanted to risk feeling so…out of control again.” He chuckled. “Ironic right? Most people would probably say my moving from one girl to the next is pretty out of control.”
“You know, Aiden, a lot of people seek counseling because their feelings are rather jumbled up inside of them. For many they need a lot of help detangling those feelings. But I think you have the solutions inside yourself, you just hadn’t verbalized them. You suffered a life-altering event while in the Marines. But I think that event is one of the reasons you decided to come back to your hometown, work with your family in a business that you enjoy and spend time with your family and friends. Part of living life to the fullest has been becoming involved in the American Legion and I know you work with the youth baseball teams. So, don’t forget all the wonderful things that you’re doing to live life to the fullest. That’s not being a Peter Pan. That’s truly enjoying a productive life.”
He leaned back in his chair, feeling like all his thoughts had been untangled. He had always been a a genuinely happy person, for the most part, even after Afghanistan, but there had been an unnamed tension when he got back that he just could not ease. Finally, he could breathe freely again. Charles was right. He just needed to name it, voice it, in order to let it go.
A vision of Lia’s face moved through his mind and he winced when he remembered her expression of disappointment by the end of their date. Lifting his gaze back to Charles, he said, “I’m no longer interested in meaningless flings but have no idea how to move forward with a real relationship.”
Charles said, “In just the hour that we spent together today, Aiden, I can tell that you do know how. So now, tell me about the relationships in your life you are good at and why.”
Smiling, he said, “That’s easy. My family is fabulous. My parents have been married forever, so were my grandparents. They raised me and my brother and sister to be close. We watch out for each other, work together, sometimes fight together, but always laugh together. The Baytown Boys were my closest friends growing up. I would drop anything in an instant to be there for any one of them. And that includes the women that many of them have fallen in love with now.”
“Okay, so what I hear you say is that you have the ability to be loyal, dedicated, loving, and put those people you care about ahead of your own needs. Does that sound about right?”
He grinned, and said, “Man, when you put it that way, I feel like a pretty decent guy.”
Charles threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah, I’d say so too.” Sobering, he held his gaze, and said, “And now for the hard part. If you have the capacity for all that, what were the most important things with a fling?”
Blushing, he responded, “Uh…I guess easy. No commitment. Preferred not to see them again. Definitely not spending the night with someone. God, it does make me sound bad, but really it was just about sex.”
“I think while the physical act of sex, without an emotional attachment, might be very normal for some people, it ended up making you feel as meaningless as the non-existent emotions. Thinking about how you are with your friends and family, I think the answer for how to build a true relationship lies within you.”
As self-doubt slid away from him, he sat up straighter in his chair. “I know it won’t be easy, so I have to be willing to work at it. I have no problem being loyal, but I have to be able to convince her that I’m in for the commitment. It’s been a long time since I’ve ever spent the entire night with a woman, but for Lia, the idea of holding her all night is exactly what I want to do. And while I think she’s beautiful, and I’d be a liar if I said there were no sexual feelings, what I really want to do is just be with her.”
“Then my suggestion is to do just that. Just be with her. And while it might take time for her to learn to trust you, that will come.”
Standing, they shook hands and, afterwards, he tilted his head to the side and said, “This seemed too easy. I thought counseling was going to be a long, agonizing process.”
Charles laughed again. “Well, not every counseling session is quite so straightforward. I would like to see you again, though. Because you do have some nightmares, I think it would be healthy to explore a little more about what happened to you in Afghanistan, if you are amenable to that.”
He nodded his head slowly. “Absolutely. I think that’s definitely something that would help.”
After setting up another appointment time with the receptionist, he stepped out into the sunshine, sliding his sunglasses onto his face. The warmth penetrated and for the first time in a long time he felt confident. Smiling, he walked down the road toward the pub.
Entering, he observed the usual afternoon crowd with Brogan behind the bar. His brother looked up, catching his eye and holding his gaze, Brogan’s curiosity and concern evident. With a smile and a nod, he silently communicated that he was fine. Brogan grinned and nodded before pulling another beer for one of their customers.
“It’s kinda quiet in here,” he called out loudly. “Why don’t we crank up the music and get this place hoppin’?”
As he walked behind the bar grinning widely Brogan popped him on the back of the head. “Why do you gotta be so loud in front of the customers?”
He answered with a continued grin and was met with Brogan’s wide smile in return. Moving to the back of the bar, he recognized the wonderful feeling of coming home.
14
“Mrs. Markham?” Lia called out. “I think the new accountant, Mr. Redding’s grandson, is supposed to show up this morning. I’m trying to get ready to meet with the Town Council after lunch, so as soon as he comes in please show him back.”
Receiving acknowledgment from Mrs. Markham, she finished her preparations for meeting with the Town Council. She had read the audit that was provided to her by the Mayor and had concerns. She hoped that the members of the various departments in the town would cooperate, but she knew that most people who knew that they are being investigated would not welcome her with open arms.
Her mind began to wander and visions of Aiden filled her head. After hearing what his family had to say and considering how things had been between them after they had cleared the air and started fresh, she realized she had been unfair to him the other night. Her original impression of him was so wrong and rather than put that aside and see him for who he was, she had let her own insecurities get the better of her and had laid such judgement at his feet because of it.
The reality was he made her laugh. He made her comfortable enough to share about her marriage with Carl and the difficulties she had had with Emily. He treated her with kindness and respect, and she had repaid him with criticism and suspicion. Embarrassment flooded her and she determined to make amends. She started to send him a text, but then decided she preferred to talk to him face-to-face.
Closing her notes, she carefully put them in her briefcase just in time to look up as the new accountant arrived. Following Mrs. Markham into her office was a tall, dark-haired man. She rose from her chair and made her way around her desk to shake his hand. She had pictured a young man barely out of college, but this man was obviously closer to thirty years old.
“Welcome, Scott. I see you met Mrs. Markham.”
His handshake was warm and firm and as
he smiled down at her, she was immediately relieved. Waving him to one of the seats, she sat down at her desk, eager to get acquainted.
“I have to confess that I’m very excited about you joining our firm. As you know, I only took over for your retiring grandfather a couple of months ago. Tax accounting is not my forte. I can certainly handle the basics but am not comfortable making that the full practice. My specialty is forensic accounting, but of course I know that there’s usually not enough work for me to do that full-time. On a normal basis, I’m sure we’ll have enough work for both of us to stay quite busy. As it turns out, right now, the Town Council has asked me to take a look at their books.”
Scott’s eyebrows lifted, and he said, “That’s interesting. Did something come up in their audit?”
Nodding, she confirmed, “Yes, and it made the Mayor concerned enough that he was forced to take it to the Town Council. In fact, I have to meet with them right after lunch today.”
They chatted for a few more minutes and he told her of growing up in Accawmacke County and visiting his grandfather in Baytown when he was a child. He glanced around the office and smiled saying, “I like your decorations much more than my grandfather’s stuffy diplomas on the wall.”
She laughed and replied, “There’s still more I’d like to do, but I’ve been so busy since I got here. Unfortunately, as you know, we don’t have another office, but the conference room is so rarely used, I’m going to suggest that we make that your office.”
“That’s perfect,” he replied. He looked at his watch, and said, “Do you have time for lunch before your meeting? We could grab something, chat a little more, and then you’ll be ready to meet with the Town Council.”
“That would be lovely.”
“We could always go to the pub,” he suggested. “They have great lunches.”
Blinking in surprise, she quickly rallied. “I think perhaps I’d prefer the Seafood Shack, today, if you don’t mind.”
Standing together, he allowed her to walk out before him, saying, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been there. That sounds great.”
Walking out with her new employee, she breathed a sigh of relief knowing she would not run into Aiden.
Aiden walked out of the Seafood Shack manager’s office, having taken a few minutes to stop by and say hello. He had been killing time as he waited for the Carson & Sons fishing boat to come back into the harbor. Purchasing the fresh fish from local fishermen was one of his favorite duties at the pub.
With a chin lift, he said his goodbyes to the bartender and moved toward the front door. Looking around as he went, he did a double take when he glanced to the side and observed Lia sitting with a man he did not know. Instantly alert, he leaned over to get a better view. The man was tall, dark-haired, and wearing a business suit.
A strange feeling hit his gut and he realized he was staring jealousy in the face, an emotion he was unused to. Keeping his eye on the couple, he noted they were not holding hands, nor did the man touch Lia in any way. Which is good, or I’d have to break his hand.
He continued to watch for a moment as the two of them chatted. Then, unable to stop his feet, he found himself heading straight for them. She looked up as he approached and blinked in surprise. He could have sworn a flash of uncertainty moved through her eyes before her smile widened as she greeted him.
“Aiden,” she called out.
“Lia,” he said, barely recognizing his rough voice. He watched her blink again before she glanced to the side at the man she was with.
“This is Scott. Scott Redding. He’s Thomas Redding’s grandson and has joined the accounting firm.”
Fighting the ever-growing feelings of jealousy at the thought of the college educated, business suit wearing man being around Lia every day, he accepted the handshake offered to him. He was so focused on Scott, he did not realize Lia was speaking to him until he felt a slight squeeze on his arm. Jerking his eyes back to her, he tilted his head in question.
“I have a meeting with the Mayor this afternoon and I have a feeling it’s going to take the rest of the day. But…uh…I had planned on calling you later…if that’s all right. That is, if you’re not busy or have plans or something.”
As though his world tilted on its axis, falling into place, he met her nervous gaze with a wide smile. “Lia, you can call me anytime. I’m always available for you.” The words were true, but he hoped she realized there was meaning in them.
She and Scott stood, and he observed their meal was finished. Holding out his arm for them to lead the way, he followed behind. Walking out, he looked over to the harbor and saw that the fishing vessel had returned. He watched Lia and Scott walk across the parking lot, heading back toward Main Street and he sighed.
Within the hour, he had the ice chests of fresh fish and seafood loaded into the back of his truck. Needing to get back to the pub, he climbed into the driver seat, his mind full of Lia. Slumping down, he thought back to his conversation with Charles. I know it won’t be easy, so I have to be willing to work at it. Finally cranking his truck, he put it in drive and headed toward the pub, more determined than ever to show Lia he could be the man for her.
Lia fought to keep from rolling her eyes as Mayor Banks droned on to the Town Council. Silas Mills, the town manager, was also in attendance, but his mannerisms were far from welcoming. Slender, with a thin, weasel-like face, it was hard to imagine that he had been rumored to have had an affair with Corwin’s secretary while being engaged to another woman. Shaking the musings from her mind, she brought herself back to the matter at hand, realizing that Corwin had finally stopped talking and was turning the meeting over to her.
She pointed out the areas of the audit that had brought out the discrepancy and outlined the steps she would be taking to try to identify the missing money and the person responsible. The Town Council consisted of six members, all appearing concerned, and promised her the town departments would work with her.
After she had answered their questions the meeting was adjourned, each member shaking her hand. As they filed from the room, she turned to Corwin and said, “Thank you for the records that you have already sent to me and I would like to go ahead and meet whoever I can today. When I am ready to formally interview them, I will set up my own appointments for that.”
“Fine, fine,” Corwin said, turning and moving toward the door. Looking back over his shoulder, he called out, “Silas, come on. You need to be a part of this too.”
She cast her gaze to the side and saw Silas’ blatant irritation as his lips pinched and eyes narrowed. Her curiosity grew but she left her face studiously blank. She found it easier when interviewing people if they were unable to see what she was thinking.
They stepped from the Town Council conference room into a hall that led to the back of the Municipal Building, bypassing the lobby and continuing to where the main offices were. Corwin’s secretary was sitting at a desk right outside of his office, situated where she could also see into Silas’ office. Celia Ring jumped to her feet as soon as Corwin and Silas came into view, her eyes darting between the two men and Lia.
Lia wondered if she imagined that, for an instant, Celia’s eyes narrowed on her. Nervousness? Jealousy? Insecurity? She also noted that Celia’s desk was a large, highly polished oak desk and her chair was a thick, comfortable leather chair. Odd, considering the furniture in the Town Council’s conference room had been more utilitarian and, from a previous visit to the building’s lobby, she also knew the receptionist’s furniture was a plain, metal desk. She was trained to not make hasty judgments, but simply to pay attention to her surroundings whenever she was investigating possible fraud so she simply filed that little observation into the back of her mind.
“Celia!” Corwin barked. “Get me Sandra and Mark. While you’re at it, get the others into my conference room as well.”
“Absolutely,” Celia purred, sitting back into her chair and immediately picking up her phone.
As she walked into t
he Mayor’s office, she watched Celia’s gaze slide over to Silas, her lips curving in a smile.
Corwin’s office was also understated opulence for a tiny town, consisting of heavy wooden furniture paired with thick leather chairs. Artwork on his paneled walls indicated that he liked to surround himself with the accoutrements of what he considered his position to be.
Silas darted through the door to the right, saying, “I need to make a quick call. I’ll be right there.”
Corwin led her through the door on the left and into his nicely appointed conference room, with a huge wooden table in the center, and she settled into one of the comfortable seats at the end of the table. Corwin sat at the other end and she watched as he fiddled with his phone, as though he wanted to limit his time making conversation with her.
Within a moment, several other people walked into the room, some smiling, some not, and she nodded politely at each of them as they took seats. Silas had made it back into the room and glowered as he took the only seat left, the one next to her.
She took notes as they each introduced themselves to her. Sandra Toski, the elected town treasurer. Mark Weber, the accounting clerk. Silas Mills, town manager. And rounding out the table was Celia Ring, the Mayor’s secretary.
She knew there were many other departments in the town’s staff and would be looking over their finances as well, but all checks and purchases went through the finance department represented at the table, so they were a good place to start.
Used to this type of meeting, she launched into her explanation of what she would be doing in her forensic accounting investigation and what she would need from each of them. All eyes were on her, some heads nodding in acquiescence, some jaws clinched, some eyes wide in surprise and others narrowed in irritation.
At the close of the meeting, she indicated for Sandra and Mark to wait behind. She gave each of them a list of the reports that she would need from them and asked that they would send them electronically to her. Gaining their agreement, she smiled as she said goodbye and watched them file out of the room.
Hear My Heart: Baytown Boys Page 11