by Amy Vastine
“I know you’re mad. Will you just talk to me?”
“I’m not mad. I have nothing to say.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” He glanced at her, which was a mistake. She was beautiful even when she was sad.
“Shut me out. I’d rather listen to your mad voice than have you sit there and seethe in silence.”
He did not have a mad voice. Why did she and Avery keep saying that? “I’m not mad.”
“Just because I needed to be alone doesn’t mean my feelings for you have changed. I care about you and what you think and feel.”
If he told her how he felt, he would be handing her the weapons she needed to rip out his heart. His feelings had done nothing but cloud his judgment. She couldn’t hurt him if he didn’t feel anything.
They pulled in the driveway at the same time as Mrs. Finnegan, who was dropping off Avery from after-school club.
Donovan cringed at the thought of how difficult it was going to be to explain to the kids why Kelly was leaving tonight. He waved to Mrs. Finnegan as Avery jumped out of her minivan.
“Kelly! Guess what happened at school today.” Avery had Kelly by the hand before Donovan shut his door.
“Tell me all about it, sweetheart,” Kelly said as they made their way to the front door.
Avery went on and on about a science experiment the teacher did for the class. The house was otherwise quiet. Graham must have been in his room. It was a little strange that he wasn’t in front of the TV, playing video games like usual.
“Avery, Kelly needs to go upstairs and get her stuff packed. She’s going to stay with her uncle just like you stay with yours.” Donovan hoped that making it seem like something they had in common would lessen the blow.
“What? No! I don’t want Kelly to leave.”
“I know, but this is good news,” Donovan said. “It means that Kelly is safe to go.”
Avery wrapped her little arms around Kelly’s waist. “No.”
Kelly stroked Avery’s head. “I know it’s sad. No more sleepovers. But it’s time for me to go.”
“No!” Avery didn’t let go.
“What’s happening?” Graham came flying down the stairs. “Why is Avery shouting?”
“Uncle Donovan is making Kelly leave,” Avery said.
“I’m not making her leave.” Maybe he was. He was trying to rip the bandage off instead of prolonging his misery.
“Why are you making her leave?” Graham looked panicked. “Is it because of me?”
Kelly’s eyes went wide. “No,” she said firmly. “Absolutely not because of you.”
“Why would it be because of you?” Donovan’s gaze shifted from Kelly to Graham and back again.
“Is it because you left work?” Graham asked Kelly, who was shaking her head.
Donovan’s jaw ticked. “How do you know she left work?”
“Blame me,” Graham said. “Not her. Don’t kick her out because I asked her for a favor.”
“Graham—” Kelly started to say, but Donovan cut her off.
That familiar heat crept up his neck. He couldn’t hold back this anger if he tried. “You left the station because of Graham? Start talking and don’t even think about lying to me.”
“I gave him a ride home. It’s not a big deal.”
“Gave him a ride home from where?” he asked. Kelly and Graham exchanged another look. That’s when Donovan noticed the cut by Graham’s right eye. “What happened to your eye?”
Graham came over to stand next to Kelly while Avery still clung to her like a wet blanket. It was a standoff. The three of them against Donovan.
“I went to hang out with Mia after school today and we ran into the guys from math class who hate me. They thought it would be really funny to humiliate me in front of her. Only, they didn’t know I could fight back. They got one hit in and I took the three of them out thanks to everything you taught me.”
“You got in a fight? I didn’t teach you to fight. I taught you how to get away.”
“I didn’t want to fight, but it was three against one. I had to.”
Donovan shook his head. “And why did Kelly have to pick you up?”
There was another exchange of looks, which meant whatever it was, it was not going to make Donovan any less angry.
Graham sighed. “We were at King’s Ice Cream. Someone there called the cops.”
“You got arrested?” Donovan could only see red.
“No,” Graham and Kelly answered at the same time.
“He didn’t get arrested, but they had to release him to his...guardian,” Kelly said with a grimace.
“Which is me. Not you.” He threw his hands up. His mind was blown. “But you chose to go anyway. You put yourself at risk, lied to the police about being his guardian and then plotted to keep all this from me?” She wanted to know how he felt? She cared about what he thought? She was a liar.
Kelly pried Avery off her and wrung her hands. “I know what it’s like to be a cop’s kid. He wasn’t in trouble. The officers on the scene were actually pretty cool about everything. They understood Graham didn’t have many options. I planned to talk to Graham tonight about telling you. We weren’t going to keep it a secret forever.”
Donovan couldn’t talk about this anymore. The fact that she thought it was okay for her to have any secrets with his nephew made him furious. He had opened himself up to this woman. He had let her into his home, around his kids, and she stabbed him in the back. Conspired with his nephew. Agreed to lie. The sooner he got Kelly out of this house, out of their lives, the better.
“Please go pack your stuff. I need to take you to your uncle’s. Now,” he added when she didn’t move.
“No!” Avery cried. “I don’t want her to go. We love her.”
“You don’t love her, Avery. You barely know her. Graham, go to your room. You’re grounded indefinitely. Avery, go in the kitchen and take out your coloring books. You can color until I get back.”
Avery resumed her clinging to Kelly, who crouched down and gave the little girl a hug back. “I love you, too, sweet girl. I have had the best time being your roommate, but it’s time for me to go. Your uncle found the bad guy who was trying to hurt me, so I’m safe now.”
“I still don’t want you to go,” Avery cried.
Kelly had tears running down her cheeks. Donovan had to look away. “I know. I’m going to miss you like crazy. I need you to be a big girl and go do what your uncle said, okay?”
Avery sniffled all the way to the kitchen table. Graham wrapped Kelly up in a hug. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”
“No, it’s not. I’m the grown-up. It was my call. You’re an amazing kid, Graham. Don’t forget that.”
“I wanted to show you my drawing. I get it back on Friday after my last final.”
“You have my cell number now. If it’s okay with your uncle, you can send me a text. I’d love to see it.” Kelly glanced in Donovan’s direction. He nodded. That was the one and only concession he would make.
Kelly and Graham walked solemnly upstairs. Donovan waited at the bottom, his head spinning with all that had happened. He held his head in his hand and gave his temples a rub. His head wasn’t the only thing hurting, though. The pain in his chest was a million times worse. Between the tears and the obvious bonds that had been formed between Kelly and the kids, he could hardly stand it. There was also this resentment. Why was he always the bad guy? Why did they ask for his trust but refuse to give him theirs?
He drove Kelly to her uncle’s and had nothing to say when she got out of the truck. That didn’t stop her from saying her piece.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I hope you talk with Graham. He cares about what you think more than you know. He only called me because he was afraid of how you would react and I went bec
ause I thought I could help him.”
“Don’t. Don’t act like you lied and put yourself and Graham at risk because I might not have reacted the way a fifteen-year-old wants me to.”
That left her speechless. She closed the door and walked away. When he got back home, Avery was at the kitchen table like he had asked her. Donovan went upstairs to talk to Graham. Not because Kelly told him to, or at least that was what he was going to tell himself.
He knocked on the door and got no response, so Donovan pushed it open. Graham was on his bed, sitting in the dark. Donovan flipped on the light.
“We need to talk.”
“What’s there to talk about? You hate me. You hate Kelly. You wish you never had to take either of us in,” Graham said.
Donovan sat on the end of his bed. “Why do you always assume the worst? Why am I always the bad guy?”
“You’re the bad guy? I’m the bad guy! I’m the one always getting in trouble. I’m the one who does nothing but disappoint you. Why would you want me to live here?”
Kids were more confusing to Donovan than women. He thought Graham hated him, but it appeared the boy hated himself more.
“Is that what you really think? Graham...” He wasn’t sure what to say. He tried to put himself in the kid’s shoes. To see it from his perspective. “You are my nephew. You will always be welcome here. This is your home. I...I love you, buddy. No matter what you do, no matter what you say. We’re family. Family is the most important thing in this world.”
Graham shook his head. “I make you mad. I bet you wish you could kick me out like you kicked Kelly out.”
“I didn’t kick Kelly out. And this isn’t about Kelly. This is about trust. We have got to find a way to trust each other. I need to be able to count on you and I need you to believe you can count on me. I know I’m not as easygoing as your dad was or as patient and understanding as your mom was, but I am trying so hard to do right by you and Avery.”
“I know you didn’t want the burden of two kids.”
“Hey,” Donovan said, waiting for Graham to look at him. “Your mom was my favorite person in the entire world. The fact that she asked me to take care of her kids when she passed away means everything to me. It’s a privilege to get to raise you two for her. Not a burden. Never a burden.”
“Never?” Graham’s eyes were wet.
“Never,” he replied, patting his nephew on the leg. “If you had called me today from the police station, I’m sure I would have used my mad voice, but I would not have grounded you for life or whatever you thought was going to happen. If you had given me a chance and talked to me, I would have understood. Maybe not right away like Kelly probably did, but eventually, I would have understood.”
“That’s what Kelly said.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“She said you have more layers than I think.”
“Layers? Like a cake? Because if Kelly was talking in food metaphors, that could be dangerous.”
The right side of Graham’s lip curled up into a half smile. “She said you’re more than just a big, bad cop. More than a mad voice. She also said I should talk to you about what happened. I was going to, but then everything happened...”
Kelly had not conspired to keep the truth from him. He felt some relief in that. Donovan had been so afraid of what his feelings for her meant, he had lashed out without giving her a chance to explain.
“I’m really sorry, Uncle Donovan. Please don’t hate Kelly because of me.”
Donovan gave Graham a hug. “I don’t hate anyone.” Hating her was impossible, but was he capable of loving her? Or would fear stand in his way?
CHAPTER TWENTY
“HE’S NOWHERE.” UNCLE HAL threw his phone on the couch Friday morning. “He’s not at his apartment, his mother’s house or with anyone his mother identified as a friend.”
The hunt for Miller Green was not going as expected. What was supposed to be an easy arrest had become more like finding a needle in a haystack. It meant that Kelly’s lockdown continued. Only not with Donovan.
“Maybe I should call Walsh to meet you at the station. Without him, they can’t seem to get this done,” he said.
“No!” Kelly said a bit too roughly. Uncle Hal’s brow quirked up. “No reason to make him come to the station when the other detectives are there.”
“I guess you’re right.” Uncle Hal sat down next to her at his large oak kitchen table. “I’m sorry, Kell Bell. I thought this would be over by now.”
“Don’t be sorry. At least we know who we’re looking for. It’ll be over soon. I’m not worried.”
She was much more worried she might not get the chance to make amends with Donovan. Kelly had managed to ruin everything with one decision.
Uncle Hal placed his hand over hers. “Walsh really went above and beyond. Not only did he watch over you like I asked him, but he solved the case.”
Kelly’s heart ached. Donovan had done everything to keep her safe and she only made it harder for him. On top of that, she let her personal baggage destroy any chance they had at having a relationship. “You really know how to pick ’em.”
“Maybe once all this is over, we’ll have him over for dinner to show our appreciation,” Uncle Hal said, unaware of all the reasons that was a terrible idea.
“Sounds good,” Kelly replied with a tiny smile.
“Are you nervous about this Miller guy showing up at the farmers market today?”
“I’m more worried about him not showing up. If he does, this is over. If he doesn’t, who knows how long it could take.”
He patted her hands. “I’ll say a little prayer. Your father is up there, making sure we get our man. I’m not worried.”
Kelly gave Uncle Hal a hug. Hopefully, her dad was watching out for her, even though he was probably disappointed in the way she’d handled everything up until now.
At the station, nothing happened to get them any closer to finding Miller. The detectives were more concerned with setting a trap at the farmers market. They had a female detective working undercover as Kelly’s intern and a few others who would mill around, waiting to pounce.
All of this was supposed to make Kelly feel safe, but the truth was she missed having Donovan there to watch her back. He had a way of calming her when she had that flutter of anxiety in her chest.
“If you see him, you make Detective Roman aware. We want him to get close enough for you to positively identify him, but far enough away that he can’t touch you,” Detective Hermann explained.
Kelly nodded. She understood the plan and hoped it would work. There were all these conflicting emotions. As much as she wanted Miller to show up, it was terrifying to think he could get close. She had to trust the police would make sure that wouldn’t happen.
They set up their booth and Kelly organized all the promotional giveaways. Lyle was there, as well. He was in charge of the spinning wheel. His nerves were evident.
“You going to be all right?” Kelly asked him.
Lyle readjusted his K104 hat on his head. “Am I going to be all right? I’m not the one with a target on my back. You are. Are you all right?”
“As good as I’m going to be.”
“I wish Detective Walsh was here,” Lyle whispered so Detective Roman couldn’t overhear. “That guy took his job seriously. I have no doubt he’d take this stalker down in a heartbeat.”
Kelly’s chest tightened. She wished he could be there, too. She wished she could take back some of the things she had said and done so he didn’t hate her like he probably did. “Me, too. Let’s hope the rest of the MNPD is as good at their jobs as he is.”
There seemed to be twice as many people at the market today compared to every other Friday they had been there this summer. Kelly found herself distracted by searching the faces of everyone in their immediate area. It made being intera
ctive with listeners a bit challenging. There was a man with a mustache. A boy around ten years old just out of his mom’s reach. A pregnant woman and her husband. A lanky young man and his friend in cowboy hats. None of them was Miller.
“Kelly!”
She looked up at the sound of her name being called. Graham and Mia were holding hands and coming her way.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
Graham gave her a hug and she hugged him back, grateful for the opportunity but fearful that Donovan had not exactly given his permission for Graham to be there.
“I wanted to show you my final art project, which I got an A plus on, by the way.” The pride in his voice almost brought Kelly to tears.
“An A plus! I didn’t expect anything less.”
Graham took off his backpack and unzipped it to remove a tube. He popped the lid off the tube and carefully slid out the paper rolled up inside. “Mr. Reed said he thinks I should enter it in the city’s art competition.”
Kelly watched him unfurl it and hand it to her. It was a gorgeous drawing in colored pencil. Kelly had seen pictures of Jessica around the house, and this looked exactly like her. It was just her profile and her head was tipped down. She wore a smile that made the corner of her eyes crinkle. Kelly imagined it was how she would have grinned down at Graham when he was little.
“This is absolutely beautiful,” she said. “I definitely think you should enter it in the competition. You should enter it in every competition. You would win them all.”
“He’s so talented,” Mia said, giving him a light punch to the arm. Graham’s cheeks turned pink. They were cute together, but most likely in a lot of trouble.
“Please tell me your uncle knows you’re here.”
Graham grimaced. “Not really.”
“Graham,” she said with a sigh. “As happy as I am to see you and grateful you wanted to show me this in person, I don’t think you should be here. You should head home.” Kelly rolled up the drawing and handed it back to him.
“I was going to go home right after we saw you. I need to be home when Avery gets there. Don’t worry—I think you were right. Uncle Donovan has more layers than I thought.”