by Anna Paige
But I couldn’t find it in me to just leave.
“Oh, God.” Charli put her hand to her mouth and came over to stand in front of us, her eyes darting between Blair’s face and mine. “Ash, I—”
“Don’t,” I cut her off in a dead voice. “Just don’t.”
I didn’t want to hear her apology. Honestly didn’t give a shit that she’d jumped to conclusions like everyone else, because of the three of them, she was the least important in the grand scheme of things. I knew it made me an asshole, thinking that, but I was entitled to feel however the fuck I wanted to feel just then.
They’d all given me that right when they turned on me.
I finally let go of Blair’s shoulders and stepped back, reaching for my keys—well, Mom’s keys, but whatever.
My anger returned full force as I watched Charli turn her attention away from me and begin comforting Blair, like she was the one who was hurt by all this. And Blair couldn’t be bothered to turn the fuck around and look me in the face after what she’d done.
What they’d all done.
Maybe I had it in me to leave after all.
What was the point of staying anyway? Tearful apologies wouldn’t fix what was broken, so why bother? Not that Blair had uttered one word of apology so far, anyway.
Even if she tried, why should I give them the opportunity to try and make it right when I wasn’t sure they ever could?
I stepped around the two of them and went to the driver’s door of the car, thumbing the lock open with the key fob. I didn’t meet Blair’s eye as I told her, “Give my best to your brother.” I nodded across the parking lot as his truck pulled in. “I did what I said I would. I stayed until he got here.” I jerked the door open and shook my head. “And now I’m done.”
Without another word, I folded myself into the car and drove out of the parking lot, right past Becker as he stood beside the open driver’s door of his truck, staring at the Civic with anger on his face.
Let Blair fill him in.
I had nothing left to say to any of them.
Ashton
Ashton
It gave me a bit of sick pleasure to think how it might have pissed them all off to know I left the courthouse and went straight to Marin’s. Would they jump to a fresh batch of bullshit conclusions if they could see me now?
Marching up her walkway, I decided I didn’t give a fuck one way or the other. Let them think whatever they wanted. Their misconceptions weren’t my problem anymore.
Marin answered the door in a pair of leggings and a long sweater, looking tired. “Hey, Ash. Get everything straight?” She waved me inside and shut the door behind me.
“Yep. All good.” I held up the receipt from when I’d turned in her old tag along with a small bag that had random junk in it I’d found while detailing the car for Mom. “Thanks for letting me keep the plate on it while I ran around this weekend.”
She shrugged it off. “No problem. Thanks for turning it in when you were done.”
I followed her as she headed toward the kitchen. The house was dark, the drapes all closed and the television the only source of light in the living room as we passed it. At least the kitchen was bright, the sliding glass doors letting in the sun and warming the place a bit. “You like your new ride?”
“Oh, yeah. It’s great. Lots of room. I mean, I do kinda miss the Civic already, though. I had that car for a long time.”
“Yeah, you did. I’m sure it’ll take a while before people start to associate it with my mom instead of you.” I didn’t expound on that thought, though I certainly could have.
She held up her coffee mug and nodded toward the half-full pot, offering me a cup.
I nodded and she set about getting me a mug.
“It’s half-caff, but it does the trick.”
I didn’t comment or change my mind, so she continued pouring and shot me a small smile.
“You do realize how sweet it is that you take care of your mom the way you do, right?”
I scoffed and shook my head when she offered cream and sugar. Taking the mug of black half-caff from her, I said, “Yeah, it’s so sweet that she pitched a fit when I told her I bought it for her. Said I should be saving my money or pissing it away on myself, not taking care of her problems with it.”
Marin snorted into her cup. “That sounds like Janet.”
It was odd to hear someone call my mom by her first name, but then again, she and Marin had worked together waiting tables back when we were in high school. I doubted she was called Mrs. Hunter at work.
She’d married my stepdad ten years ago but kept the Hunter name.
Mom had refused to change it; said she wasn’t leaving me as the only Hunter. My stepdad, Phil, didn’t argue the point, because he knew how important it was to her that she and I had the same name.
Marin stood with her back to the counter and watched me for a second. Her long blond hair was messy, tangled from sleep, there was mascara residue under her tired eyes and a hole in the shoulder of her sweater, and she didn’t seem to care one bit that I was seeing her at less than her best. “Any word on what happened in court this morning?”
“Yeah, I was there. He’s out. Trial is set for December.”
“Shit. How’d he come up with bail so fast? I wouldn’t think a thief would have much cash just lying around.”
“No idea, but his lawyer was escorting him to the cashier two seconds after court adjourned.”
“How’s Blair gonna handle that? She’s the one he attacked, right?”
“She was white as a sheet. Fucker actually stopped and tried to talk to her on the way out.”
“Oh, shit.” Her eyes widened. “Maybe she should file a restraining order or something.”
“Because a piece of paper will stop a criminal who’s determined to hurt someone?” I didn’t mean to sound so shitty. I just hated the helpless feeling in my gut. I blew out a breath. “Sorry, Mar. I didn’t mean to sound like an asshole. I think Jake had her file one when we gave our statements. I just hate that she has to be afraid. And I hate that I can’t do shit to fix it.”
Her eyes narrowed on me and one corner of her mouth tipped upward. “You’re really into her, huh?”
“I don’t know what I am anymore,” I surprised myself by answering honestly.
“I don’t know her that well, since she was so far behind us in school, but what I do know of her has all been positive. She seems sweet. I think you two would be a good couple.”
“We almost were.”
“So, what happened to put the brakes on it?”
I gave her a bland look, figuring I’d already opened the can, might as well let all the worms crawl out. “Cody Blake assumed that I was looking for you so we could hook up, and he announced that he had your number for me in front of Blair.”
“That boy has got to be the dimmest son of a bitch alive.” She shook her head, frowning. “You want me to set her straight?”
“Nope. Already did. About twenty minutes ago.”
“And?”
“And nothing. She just stood there. Didn’t even try to apologize.” I stepped past Marin and dumped the rest of my coffee in the sink. “Oh, it gets even better. When Cody ran his mouth, Beck was standing there too. And all this happened about half an hour after I told Becker with no equivocations that I was in love with his sister.”
“Surely Beck at least knew better.”
I just stared at her for a second. “You would think. But no.”
“Jesus, Ash. What a clusterfuck.”
“You can say that again.”
“Wait, you told Beck you love Blair?”
I nodded.
“Well, have you told Blair that?”
“Nope. Don’t know that I intend to now. She doesn’t even know I told Beck about me and her at all, much less the scope of what I said to him.”
“Maybe it’s time everyone put their cards on the table.” She ran water in both our empty mugs and placed them in the dishw
asher. “I mean, damn. There’s been way too much drama lately. You can’t fix what happened at the beach, but maybe you can work on the rest.”
“Why? Why let them off the hook after what they did?”
“You’re just angry. You know you can’t simply cut them out of your life. Beck is your best friend.”
“Yeah, some best friend. I thought he was gonna rip my head off when he stopped by Mom’s place yesterday and spotted that car in the driveway.”
“He’s protecting his sister’s honor.”
“By assuming I have no honor of my own?”
“Ash, you’re being ridiculous. You’re twenty-four? Twenty-five?”
“Twenty-four. What’s your point?”
“How many of your twenty-four years have you spent being best friends with Becker?”
I didn’t answer, just gave her a bored look.
“Fine. How many years has it been since junior high, when this level of maturity was to be expected?”
I threw up my hands and turned to go. “I didn’t come here for a lecture, Marin. Thanks for cutting me a deal on the car. See ya ’round.”
She was right on my heels. “You want to know why I sold the car?”
“Because you upgraded to an SUV.” I didn’t see why it mattered all of a sudden.
“Because I couldn’t see myself hauling a car seat in and out of a two-door car. Because the guy I’ve been seeing just left on deployment to God knows where, and he insisted on the SUV because he wanted to do as much to help as he could before he left me here knowing he isn’t likely to make it back in time for the birth, assuming he makes it back at all.”
I turned back as her voice broke.
“So, forgive me if I hurt your fragile little feelings by pointing out how childish all this is, but I’ve got grown up problems and these pregnancy hormones have disabled my filter.”
“Shit, Mar. I had no idea.” I walked over and hugged her to my chest, feeling like a complete asshole. Never, in all the time I’d known her, had Marin said anything even remotely terse to anyone. I would have thought her incapable of being so brutally honest, but I guess pregnancy hormones are no damn joke.
“I know you didn’t. Sorry I snapped at you.”
“You were right. I’m being ridiculously immature, and I needed someone to call me out.” I shook my head, rubbing her back one last time before I let go. “I just never would have thought you’d be the one to do it.”
“Estrogen, man. It’s a killer.” She snorted, wiping her nose on her sleeve.
“If you need anything, anything at all, call me. I’ll do what I can.” Marin’s parents had moved to Florida several years ago and left her their house, and with only a cousin or two still in the area, she was basically alone in this.
She rose up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. “Thanks, but I think maybe you should sort things out with Beck and Blair first.”
“I will. Knowing them, they’d be offering to help, too, if they knew.”
“I’m not really telling people yet. Just you and my cousin so far. It’s still early.”
“My offer stands.” I reached for the door and gave her a reassuring smile as I stepped outside. “You’ll do great with or without help, but there’s nothing wrong with having a support system in place.”
She quirked a brow at me, leaning in the open doorway as I stood on the top porch step. “You know, you’re kind of incredible, Ashton Hunter. You look after your mother, risked life and limb on that beach, and offered to help out a pregnant chick you most certainly didn’t knock up. Blair’s a really lucky girl.”
It was great that Mar thought so.
But I had to wonder whether Blair would agree.
Blair
Watching Ash drive off that morning, I felt sick.
Literally overcome with a wave of nausea that left me bent over, retching into the empty space he’d just driven out of.
Beck hurried over and I could hear the panic in his voice. “What the hell happened? Is it Tommy?”
“No, Ash,” Charli volunteered, one hand resting on my lower back while the other held my hair out of the way.
I hadn’t eaten that morning, so nothing was coming up, but that somehow made it worse. The heaving was making my eyes water, or at least that was what I’d tell Becker if he asked.
I was such a low-down, hateful, judgmental, arrogant, ignorant bitch.
How could I have done this to him?
How could we have done this to him?
Shit, I had to tell Beck the truth. The truth about Ash and Marin but also the truth about my feelings for Ash, not that anything would ever come of it now. He hated me and he had every right.
“Ash? What the fuck has he done now?”
“Nothing,” I whimpered, clutching my stomach and willing it to stop spasming. “He didn’t do anything. And we broke him, Beck. I heard it in his voice. Saw it in his face before he climbed in the car and left us all behind.”
“What the hell is she talking about?” Beck asked Charli, since I’d gone back to gagging and crying.
“Ash didn’t want to hook up with Marin. He was tracking her down to buy the Civic.” Charli sounded like she was crying too, but I couldn’t be sure since I hadn’t torn my gaze from the pavement by my feet. “For his mom.”
Beck was completely silent for what felt like an eternity.
“Motherfucker,” he eventually muttered under his breath.
Charli continued to rub my back as she added, “I guess the good news is you’ve still got a shot with Marin.”
“What?”
“You were pissed he was trying to hook up with her, right? Because you have a thing for her, I assume?” Charli had already been upset over what we’d done to Ash, but there was no mistaking the hurt in her voice when she talked about Beck wanting someone else.
Needing to comfort her for a change, I righted myself and turned to put an arm around her, tugging her into a hug.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not into Marin. Not since high school anyway.”
My whole face was scrunched in confusion when I looked over at him and combined with the blotchy red patches I always got when I had dry heaves, I just knew I was a sight to behold. Luckily, most of the crowd had moved along, probably turned off by my retching. Anyone who was still being nosy, deserved to see the god-awful mess I’d morphed into. “If you weren’t mad at him over Marin, why were you angry?”
He hesitated, seeming to debate something with himself for a minute. “I was mad about Marin but not because I wanted her for myself. I was mad because I thought he disrespected you.”
“Me?” I asked, even more confused.
He blew out a breath and gave me his patented “don’t try to bullshit me” look. “I know about you and him, Blair. He told me a little at the hospital Friday night, and everything else before we left to give our statements the other morning.”
“What exactly did he tell you?”
Again with the hesitating? Really? I was not in the mood to have to drag shit out of him.
“He said you two were into each other. That he’d been into you for a while and he’d finally admitted it to you. He said you had feelings for him, too.” Beck watched me for a second, his gaze darting to the way my hand still gripped my stomach. “Given how torn up you are right now, I guess he was telling the truth.”
“I wanted to tell you, I swear. And I was going to. It was just so new, and we were still figuring it out for ourselves, so I wasn’t even sure what you needed to know yet.” I brushed a tear from my cheek, though it was quickly replaced with another. “None of it matters now. He hates me. This may be my shortest relationship ever.” I snorted and swiped at my cheeks, flicking tears onto Charli’s shoulder as I met her eye. “Ended before we even went on a real date.”
“Blair—” Beck tried to reach for me, but I held up my hand.
“Don’t comfort me. I don’t deserve it.” I stepped out of Charli’s embrace, to
o. “I’m a horrible, horrible human being and I’m the last person who deserves to be comforted. Ash is the one who needs it, but I know he won’t let anyone near him after what we all did to him.” I was really bawling now. “He’s only had his mom most of his life. His dad left, his stepdad just moved out maybe for good, and the only other people he thought loved him just completely shit on him for no reason.”
“Blair, you didn’t know. It’s been a stressful weekend and we were all on edge.” Charli was really trying to help, but she didn’t see the irony of what she’d said.
“That’s right, I didn’t know shit. I assumed. We all did. We assumed the worst of him, and it was fucked up. And that stress you mentioned could have been a million times worse if Ash hadn’t found me and taken Tommy down. He’s a fucking hero and we treated him like a villain.” My voice was getting higher and higher, my throat constricting as I spoke, as wave after wave of regret washed over me. I wondered for a moment if I might actually drown in it.
Or in the tears I couldn’t seem to stop.
Beck took out his phone and started dialing or typing, my vision was too blurred by my tears to be able to see him clearly.
“He won’t answer. Why should he?”
“I’m not calling. I’m texting.”
“He won’t answer that either. He’s too angry.”
“I don’t need him to answer it, I just need him to see it.”
“See what? What are you saying to him?”
My brother’s gaze touched on mine for a brief second before he went back to texting. “I’m telling him that he can hate me if he wants, but I know like hell he can’t hate you. And if he meant what he told me the other day, he’ll meet us at your place to talk this shit out.”
“What did he tell you?”
Beck slid his phone into his back pocket and shook his head. “With a little luck and a lot of forgiveness, I’m hoping you can hear that from him directly in a few hours.” He stepped over and grabbed my arm. “In the meantime, let’s get the hell out of here. We’re putting on a show for the gossip mongers and I don’t want Mom and Dad burning up my phone today.”