by Paul Vayro
Chapter Eighteen
Spiritwind stood proudly atop Noel Hill. Placing his arms firmly on his hips he took a deep breath and surveyed the scene. It was a beautiful moment, only tainted by the huffing and puffing of Brick as he struggled to join his hairless friend.
“Come on. It’s not that hard.” Spiritwind called down to his peer.
“That’s…….That’s……easy for…..you to say. Stood……Stood up…….there.” The dramatic punctuation threw his breathing pattern completely off, leaving him more tired than the act of climbing.
“It was easy to say when I was where you are.” Spiritwind mentally searched his body for snacks. A pang of hunger had entered his thoughts.
“No need…….to…..to be…..so smug.”
“If it’ll help don’t speak to me. Save your breath.” Spiritwind had other concerns. He felt sure a family size packet of crisps sat about his person.
“Stop…….Stop talking to…….me then.” Brick sensed a stitch waiting to nestle in his ribs.
“Okay then.” Spiritwind assumed confidence in a memory of where the potato based snack may be hiding and reached for his sock. The confidence was misplaced.
“Okay…..what?” Brick stopped for a moment to catch his breath. He coughed as he tried to breathe in and almost suffocated on the spot. Only lying down could help him now.
“I’ll stop talking to you so you can climb in peace. Are you okay?” Spiritwind noticed his friend's struggle. Brick raised his hand to let him know he was fine before lifting himself heroically back to his feet. He continued the ascent, muttering as he stomped.
“I’m fine, just plain old dandy. Can’t leave me to climb in peace, oh no, has to keep interrupting me and making me look stupid. Well we’ll see who looks stupid when I’m proved right about this whole frozen time thing simply being an elaborate pulling technique…..”
After three wrong guesses Spiritwind stopped searching for his crisps and meditated on where exactly he’d hidden them. As he stood, eyes closed, the answer approached, as did Fut. Fut’s ability to spread calm made him the obvious choice to instigate the meeting.
“Morning my most wholesome dude. Glad to see you be where you be.” The accompanying smile promised complete trust and friendliness. Spiritwind faced the voice without any sense of panic and absorbed Fut’s warm greeting.
“Thank you. Glad you’re being where you be too?” Spiritwind left part of his mind searching for his snack as the rest dealt with the latest curious occurrence of the day.
“I like the feel of your rhythm my average sized man. May I say on behalf of my companions how nice it is to finally share the air.” Fut nodded gently as he spoke.
“You do know you’re alone?” Spiritwind pointed out the obvious as Brick scrambled over the lip of the hill on all fours. The stomping had worn him out quicker than the talking.
“Who’s your friend?” Brick tried to point. His arm only made it to shoulder height before giving up and falling to the floor. Spiritwind turned to face his exhausted friend.
“I’m not entirely sure.” Spiritwind turned back to Fut. “You didn’t already tell me your name did you? I’m not embarrassed to admit that if you did, I’ve forgotten it.”
Fut chuckled to himself. “There ain’t been no exchange of labels yet my man. Fut be the moniker attached to my frame.”
“Nice.” Spiritwind returned his gaze to Brick. “He’s called Fut.” Brick nodded approval as he stood and wiped himself down. The fact nothing could move to attach itself to him was irrelevant. He would often act out society's expected responses to situations, if only to see what all the fuss was about. As Brick began the short journey to his friend, Spiritwind turned back to Fut, just as Fate appeared next to the spreader of cool. Spiritwind wasn’t one to jump to conclusions and presumed Fate must have been stood there all along.
“May I attach names to faces.” Fut didn’t await the answer to his rhetorical musing and began the introductions. “This is Fate….” Fate offered a tentative wave as he stepped forward, his mind still processing the news Coincidence had given him. The rest of the concepts proceeded to appear and nod a greeting as Fut read out the register. “…Coincidence, They, Irony, Karma and….”
“Motivation. Pleased to meet you.” Motivation stepped forward and shook the hands of the two Earthlings in a robust manner. Her introduction was short as she jogged away to continue her exercises.
The six remaining concepts stood opposite Brick and Spiritwind. Brick and Spiritwind looked back. Those concepts that knew nothing of Fate’s error had expected something more physically daunting than the duo that faced them. As heroes trained from birth they seemed easy to underestimate. Perhaps that was their secret weapon, a lack of expectancy. Brick rifled through all his default topics of chit chat. Settling on something pointless he forgot it the instant he opened his mouth. He quickly called up an emergency strand of chatter.
“Weather. Eh. What’s that about?” His face looked at itself disgusted.
“I can tell you exactly what the weather is about….” They stepped forward before being interrupted by Fate.
“…Not now, They. Mr Jones, Mr Wall. I expect you have many questions for us.”
The pair looked back blankly, then towards each other. Brick opted for the first query to fall into his thoughts. “If magicians are so good at making buildings disappear why don’t they pool their talents and start a demolition business? Big money in demolition you know. No more of those poorly attended midweek gigs.”
Fate turned to the concepts and smiled weakly before turning back round. “I was thinking more in relation to the current predicament.”
“Oh right. You mean, why isn’t there a lift to the top of this hill?” Brick smiled in the belief he’d cracked it. Spiritwind believed he’d cracked his own mystery and reached into a previously unseen pocket. Fate turned back to the concepts and offered a shrug to accompany an ever weaker smile. The pair weren’t making his mistake an easy one to cover up.
“I was thinking more about why the world may be frozen in time.” Fate gave up with hints.
“The world may be frozen in time but my crisps are not.” Spiritwind held the bag above his head victoriously.
“My job’s never felt in safer hands.” Irony threw scorn at Fate. He cringed and considered owning up there and then. Spiritwind offered everyone a potato snack as Fate considered any excuses he could use when the mission failed. Maybe it wasn’t too late to start a career in table testing.
Fate’s thoughts were interrupted by a packet of roast meat flavoured crisps being shaken in his face. The other concepts had all declined in confusion.
“Crisp?” Spiritwind shook a little harder.
“No thank you.”
“Come on. They’re chicken.”
“No honestly. I’m not hungry.” Fate continued to ponder.
“Are you sure? They’re ever so nice.”
“Come on now Spiritwind.” Brick intervened with a smirk. “Don’t tempt Fate.” The pair looked at each other, holding a serious expression for a second before descending in to hilarity. Fate faced the other concepts apologetically. Coincidence shielded his eyes with his hand.
“Can we not just see off these aliens ourselves?” Karma ground her fist in to her palm as she made her suggestion.
“You know the rules. We can’t affect the Earth’s destiny through such direct action. We can only usher Earthlings and present them with the opportunities to act in the way we need them to.” Fate quoted the code they agreed to uphold.
“How are we supposed to usher those two in to doing anything but bumbling around? Heroes indeed! I always knew that idea was flawed.” Karma was in no mood for understanding. Fortunately Brick and Spiritwind were. They’d listened to Karma’s last sentence without offence. Spiritwind peered around Fate and engaged the group.
“Hello again. We were just listening to your little chat, do not fear, we are not offended.” The look in Karma’s eye sugges
ted no fear would be forthcoming. Spiritwind quickly picked up on this and moved on. “Anyway, we’re noticing a few curious things about you lot. Are we right in presuming something is going on here?” Spiritwind wished he was sitting on a chair so he could cross his legs in punctuation.
“That’s exactly the kind of question I was looking for.” Fate began to see a light within the dimmest of tunnels. Maybe he wouldn’t have to confess just yet. The other concepts didn’t share his optimism.
“Have you been looking for a question? You should have said. I’m full of questions.” Brick merely wished to be involved.
“I did say. Right before your friend here starting offering out crisps.”
“So you do want a crisp?” Brick took on the role of crisp sorter outer.
“Eh.” It was all Fate could offer to stay in the conversation.
“Give the man a crisp Spiritwind. He wants one now.” Brick nudged his friend.
“So, Fate can be tempted.” The pair shared the look of a suspicion being confirmed. “Unfortunately I’ve ate them.” Spiritwind showed no remorse.
“All of them?” Brick had nothing but judgement.
“It was a small bag.”
“Excuse me. Excuse me.” Fate felt justified in interrupting. “I don’t want a crisp.” The concept wished to get on with things. Brick had other ideas and folded his arms, unhappy at being messed around. Had he not missed his elbow and ended up fumbling with his fingers it may have added some weight to the emotion, instead he just looked silly. Brick continued with a rebuke regardless.
“First he doesn’t then he does; now he doesn’t again. Maybe you should think about what you want before speaking.” Fate had nothing but an open mouth without words. He composed himself before trying again. He ignored the last few sentences and attempted to explain.
“There is indeed something going on here and we are not as we seem. We are in fact the people behind many of the ideas and concepts that allow your society to function and flourish.” Fate looked for signs of the words going in. It took a moment but eventually Spiritwind responded.
“I’ll believe that.”
“It makes more sense than one omnipotent being sorting everything out.” Brick added his opinion.
“You understand what I just said?” Fate wished to make sure.
“Completely.” Spiritwind nodded.
“Entirely.” Brick picked at his tooth for no practical reason.
Spiritwind sensed disbelief in the silence. “Would you like me to explain it back to you to prove we understand?”
“If you don’t mind.” Fate was pleased he hadn’t had to ask.
“You work on the Earth controlling many aspects of our everyday lives, unbeknown to us mere Earthlings. So if I stole an orange then bit into it and found it to be mouldy, that would be down to you.” Spiritwind pointed at Karma. Her expression hadn’t warmed leading him to withdraw his pointed finger fairly quickly. “And if I met an old school friend a day after speaking about them that would be down to you.” He pointed at Coincidence. Coincidence bowed.
“What about They?” Brick supplied his friend with the lines he needed to continue.
“They? Why of course he is the storyteller, the spreader of myth and rumour. They say the Queen employs somebody to have her nightmares for her.”
“It’s a good idea that. Nightmares can be rough. You don’t want the Queen waking up all teary eyed and accidentally making it illegal to wear trainers.” Nobody followed Brick’s logic, least of all himself. He continued to stick to the script. “What about Fut?”
“I wouldn’t like to say. Care to offer a clue?” Spiritwind didn’t wish to offend.
“Or the answer?” Brick didn’t see the point of subtlety.
“I stroll this rock we straddle spreading cool and calm to all I meet. I hold stress up to the light and show the world its transparent nature. To see beyond is to see within, and realise what is truly worthy of worry.” Fut responded with a sway of his hips and a smile.
“So where does Fut fit in to that?” Brick cut straight back to the question.
“Cool as Fut my man. I believe the franchise language turned my name in to something a little more offensive, but I’m cool with that.” Brick nodded his head as Fut spoke, without any idea why.
“And I’m presuming Irony deals with Irony?” Spiritwind rounded off the group, except for Motivation who was self explanatory and busy running up the hill in a crab position.
“Indeed. Or at least she would if she understood the concept of irony.” Fate took great pleasure in revealing such a fact.
“Irony doesn’t understand irony! Genius.” Spiritwind toasted the witty twist.
“Why does everyone find that so amusing? Irony is a very difficult concept to grasp. You should try dealing with it on a daily basis, sends you nuts.” She fell in to a sulk.
“Is it just you few then or are we to meet countless others?” Brick wondered if he should warm up his greeting face.
“This will be all on our mission. We felt a tight knit group would stand a better chance of success.” Fate resumed information duties.
“She doesn’t seem very tight knit.” Brick pointed to Motivation. She’d found a log and ran with it across her neck.
“No. I’ll be dealing with that. Everyone else was told to take the day off but being so motivated she doesn’t know how to.”
“Is she another one of yours?” Brick pointed to an approaching figure: a girl around eight years old skipped towards them. She wore a party frock that sprouted outwards the nearer the ground it reached, stopping around knee height to show off a pair of white socks. Her hair sat in pigtails, proudly restrained by a vibrant red bow fashioned from ribbons. The rest of the concepts turned to see the youngster approach. Each ran instantly in the opposite direction. Fate ushered the duo along.
“We need to leave now, as quickly as possible.”
“Any particular reason?” Brick always liked to know why he was running.
“A very particular reason; that little girl is Danger and if we hang around something bad will happen to you and most likely us too.” Motivation saw the group running and believed she’d finally made a breakthrough. She yelped in delight and ran to the front.
“Do we know where we’re heading?” Spiritwind queried on the jog. Danger was in no rush to catch them.
“The nearest building site.” Fate continued to glance back.
“Building site?” The query came in stereo.
“Danger’s powers are weak in building sites. There are too many signs warning of her presence. Awareness of her threat makes her ineffective.”
“You’re saying she pays attention to Danger Keep Out signs?” Brick felt surprisingly sprightly after his morning climb.
“Yes. Now come on.”
“I’m not sure I believe that.” Brick turned to his friend as they cantered alongside each other.
“The way today’s going I’m not ruling anything out.”
As one they headed back to Puddleton. Brick and Spiritwind hoped it would be the last bout of exercise they would be forced in to, although neither was holding out much hope.
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