by Paul Vayro
Chapter Twenty Eight
“That’s a lot of aliens.” Brick could only verbalise the obvious. The map had led Team A to the natural basin that housed the Jefferian’s craft. Reaching the brow of the hill the foursome lay on their chests to crawl the final few feet. As their eyes breached the lip a highly stereotypical U.F.O. stared back at them, complete with protruding glass dome.
“That is a lot of aliens.” Spiritwind backed up his friend's observations whilst chewing a stick of liquorice.
The group peered down on thousands of aliens, all in one of two queuing systems. One led from the top of the basin towards the craft, splitting in to eight separate lines around fifty feet from the ship. Each line had been assigned an entrance. A constant stream poured in, all with bulging rucksacks and heavily laden crates. The second queue consisted of a steady stream coming from the back and heading over the opposite side of the hill. The exit line was less rigid, formed from congestion rather than meticulous planning; more a collective amble than a line. Judging by the buoyant strolls of those within it, the crates and bags had been emptied
“I told you about red lights. Not only did I tell you but I told you about this moment now when I’d be proved right.” Brick expressed concern and smug delight in one smooth tightening of his cheeks.
“Now you’ve been proved right do you have a solution?” Coincidence tried to limit Brick’s smugness.
“I usually find ignoring the problem makes it go away.” Brick’s solution didn’t promise much.
“I’m not sure ignoring thousands of aliens will make them go away.” Coincidence wasn’t convinced.
“It might…” The slight pause that followed covered Brick’s improvisation time. “…If we put up no resistance the aliens may think the planet isn’t worth it and go home.”
“Even I don’t believe that.” They couldn’t be any more sincere.
“I wasn’t too convinced meself.” Brick could only reply with a similar honesty.
“I’ve got an idea.” Spiritwind took centre stage as the group wondered what the next idea they dismissed would be. “Wouldn’t it be an incredible coincidence…” The nods and winks were excessive, if not annoying. “…if we, as a band of men searching for an abandoned crate, found one on the way back to base?” Spiritwind’s smile awaited congratulation, and another stick of liquorice. Everyone wanted to disagree but couldn’t think why, until Coincidence resorted to technicalities.
“Nice idea.”
“There’s a but coming.” Brick had to say something after all the thought he’d used.
“But..”
“There it is.” Brick wished he could keep quiet, everyone shared his desire.
“A coincidence isn’t usually planned. That’s why it’s a coincidence.”
“But you plan them.” Spiritwind wasn’t letting the idea go easily.
“I know but I have to make it look completely unplanned. You can’t ask for, or rely on a coincidence occurring. They just happen. You’re only aware it even was a coincidence once it’s happened.” Coincidence ran through what he’d said in his mind to make sure it was right. He believed it was.
“Oh.” Spiritwind had nowhere else to take it.
“It would however be considered a stroke of luck.” The raise of Coincidence’s eyebrow brought hope rushing back.
“So where's Luck?” Brick felt happy he could contribute again.
“Luck is a pseudonym used by Fate when he has to fix something but can’t think of a logical way of doing it. I’ll go and speak to him.” Without any discussion Coincidence disappeared from the hill.
“I knew this hero business was easy.” Brick peered back over the hill, watching the aliens go back and forth.
“Maybe we just make it look easy.” Spiritwind inflated the joint ego accordingly.
“Everything’s fundamentally easy. Humans have an uncanny knack for making things seem harder than they actually are. Suppose it makes them easily impressed. Helps stave off boredom. Life can be tedious at times.” They pondered out loud.
Seeing Coincidence disappear in to thin air had reminded Brick that the concepts weren’t just a group of passers by. He had questions burning in his mind. He opened his mouth to extinguish their flame.
“You all seem to be coping with time freezing rather well. Did you have to sit with a bucket on your head to avoid the ray?”
“No. We received extensive training on perceiving other times before starting work here. We were also trained in art history and bus ticket origami, but they’re not proving to be as useful as we were led to believe.” They elaborated.
“So is time frozen or not, because nobody’s being very clear on the matter.” Brick tried to fold his arms. Being lay on his chest made the task nigh on impossible.
“No. Even I wouldn’t try and peddle such a ridiculous idea. You can’t freeze time.” They mocked such a thought. “Time is all consuming, everything exists within it. If it were possible to build a machine that stopped it, which it isn’t, and it succeeded in doing so, which it wouldn’t, then logic wouldn’t allow it to switch time back on; because it would have to move through time to work, and as time is frozen it can’t. All it could do is change the perception everything around it has of time. If we perceive time to have stopped, or are unable to perceive the time around us, then it would appear frozen but wouldn’t actually be so.” They chewed an apple in satisfaction at his thorough explanation. Brick took a moment to chase his eyes around his face before voicing his question. He didn’t get past the first syllable.
“Wh…”
“There’s no debate. Think about it. If time stopped it has to do just that. Stop. That means it can’t ever start again, otherwise the period it stopped for was in itself a passage of time, which couldn’t happen if time had stopped. Things can stop ‘in’ time, but time itself can’t stop. Try and imagine it. Nothing could ever happen again. Not even the thought that nothing can happen. It wouldn’t even be forever because forever wouldn’t exist anymore. You couldn't even call it the end. It'd just be an eternal now that never progresses and nobody is aware of.” Brick and Spiritwind disappeared deep in to their heads to try and imagine such a state. It left the pair practically comatose. They used the time to retrieve a bus ticket from his pocket and fold it into a Victorian chest of draws.
The silence didn’t last long as Coincidence re-appeared.
“What’s wrong with those two?”
“Trying to grasp time.”
“Oh right. What’s with the facial expression?” Coincidence pointed at Brick’s tongue as it sat trapped half way from escaping his mouth.
“I can hear you know. I’m only thinking. I’m not deaf.” Brick allowed his tongue back into his mouth. Spiritwind remained still. The three waited for him to come round. Brick clicked in front of his face at various intervals to speed up the process. Eventually the bald hero re-emerged from his mind.
“I’m going to need more time on that. I like it though.” Spiritwind beamed as he retrieved his second ten pence mix up of the day.
“You’ll both be pleased to know that I spoke to Fate, and he said if we head back the way we came we may be ‘lucky’ in our quest.” Coincidence tapped his nose as he spoke, alerting everyone to the underlying agreement.
“A tap of the nose is as good as a signed and witnessed contract for me. Let’s go.” Brick stood and began walking in one swift move.
“That’s why your emotions business failed. I told you at the time nods and winks can’t be presented in court as evidence.” Spiritwind dragged his body to its feet once more. With the concepts already standing, the group set off.
Coincidence wandered in the vicinity of Brick, thinking about something that required his eyes to gaze upwards. They ambled behind. Spiritwind saw the opportunity for finding out more about the concepts and approached They for a chat as they strolled.
“Are you able to grasp the idea of time stopping? Lollipop?” Spiritwind queried and offered con
fectionery at the same time.
“Oh yes. It took a while though.” They replied and took the offer of a sweet.
“So will I be able to at some point?”
“Probably not.”
“Oh. Any reason why?” Spiritwind weighed up the merits of a chocolate banana against a fizz bomb.
“The human brain isn’t equipped to handle such an idea yet. You see, knowledge is built upon knowledge. Occasionally a mind turns up so brilliant it can bridge the gaps required, and in the process lay the foundations for the next generation’s thoughts. The mind that enables humanity to grasp the true nature of time has not yet arrived for you. The understanding is there in your subconscious but it will remain unseen by your mind until somebody can bring it in to the conscious world.” Spiritwind’s expression confirmed he wasn’t the mind to bring it forth.
They, gave Spiritwind a moment before continuing. “Imagine the dawn of man, a hunter armed with a stone and a brave disposition. His subconscious knows precisely how to throw the stone at a moving animal and strike it. You too can perform such a skill, but you understand the stone is moving at angles and a velocity, it requires pitch and timing. The animal is moving at a speed you can label, and were you to have the time you could draw up an equation to show the force and trajectory required to hit the animal at that exact point. Before early man could understand such things you would have to explain numbers, mathematics, and physics. To him he is just throwing a stone, but with the foundation of man’s knowledge beneath you, you see more. In the realm of time you are still throwing a rock, but one day your species will grasp the mathematics that explains how it bent out of time and back in again before poking an unsuspecting wildebeest in the eye.” They took a deep and satisfying breath.
“I’ll look forward to it.” A flying saucer popped into his mouth. The sherbet fell out almost instantly, causing a wince before his next question. “Why do people keep referring to the Earth as a franchise planet?”
“Now that is a question.” They cracked his knuckles and began the explanation of language distribution and the popularity of the Earth, and how countless franchises were built. Spiritwind took the news in his stride and posed a further question upon completion of They’s answer.
“So how does it end up as a lifeless rock floating in space? Human greed?”
“Not at all. Humans are a little optimistic about their power at times. They couldn’t destroy such a creation if they tried, which they often do. The Earth is a truly powerful beast. No, plants were the first life to be given complete control of the planet, but growing numerous beyond comparison they required further life to maintain the levels of carbon dioxide in the air, and so mobile life was created. Beginning in the seas, purely because floating is infinitely easier than walking, fish were left in control, until curiosity got the better of them and a few wished to claim the dry as their own. Soon reptiles took over, but nature felt they weren’t progressing; all those years and not one skateboard. Anyway nature took control away and handed mammals their chance, but they progressed too well. Taken down a peg or two by nature, and its array of viruses and disasters, the insects that had been building their forces rose to stake their claim. Only the birds could handle such a challenge and the final battle of mobile life reigned until everything wiped itself out, leaving only the plants once more. This time they limited their numbers and lived within their resources to avoid the whole cycle spiralling again, until they got bored without the excitement of the previous years and died out because they just didn’t see the point.”
“Remarkable.”
“And true.” Spiritwind took a moment to think before speaking.
“So why don’t the aliens wait until there’s only plants left?”
“Plants are notoriously difficult things to negotiate with. The only way to stop their iron will is to chop them down. There aren’t enough machetes in the universe to attempt that.” They noted the scenery around them growing more and more man made. It was subtle for the moment.
“Negotiate. I thought this was a takeover?” Spiritwind was thoroughly enjoying the conversation. It was far and away the best he’d had that day.
“It is. The universe is, for the most part, very civilised. You can’t just run around taking planets over anymore. There’s all manner of forms to fill in these days and votes to be counted. I’m sure the aliens are doing everything by the book, although I’m not sure how. The Earth franchises are known for their watertight laws.”
“Care to divulge further?” Spiritwind enjoyed They’s explanation, irrelevant of its truth.
“Of course.” Concrete had taken the place of grass beneath their steps. “As I mentioned, the Earth isn’t allowed to achieve grade three status: meaningful contact with another planet, for fear of the mountains of paperwork that would follow; however the Earth contract does state that the occupants can at any point lodge a legal challenge to take ownership of the planet. Without this it would be legal slavery. But as nobody can inform the occupants, as they aren’t allowed to gain meaningful contact, the clauses loop themselves in to never being used.”
“That is clever.”
“It is. Which is why I’m intrigued to see how they plan to do it, and what’s in those boxes may offer a huge clue.”
As Coincidence’s name implies he popped up at the perfect moment to reveal his discovery. “There’s a discarded crate over there.”
The box rested beneath the eye-line of a garden wall, as though hiding from the angry residents at the window. The four gathered around it, pleased yet nervous at what they would find. Aliens could be seen way in the distance, all heading towards their queues. They had no interest in what Team A were up to, although most of Team A weren’t that interested in what they were up to either.
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