by Mandy Baggot
‘It’s not that,’ Ray said. ‘I don’t want to invite anyone over at all.’ He took a breath. ‘I was thinking… maybe… that I could take you out.’ God, his heart was beating a rhythm harder and faster than any session drummer he’d ever worked with.
‘Oh, I see.’
‘Hey, listen, I know that you’re probably thinking that last night was a bad move and a big mistake because, let’s face it, why wouldn’t you think that?’ He sighed. Was he even in with a shot here? ‘And, Emily, I know I’m not someone your friends, or your parents, or, in particular, Jayden’s dad have warmed to, but the fact is… Emily, I really like you. And I really like spending time with you. And, for me anyway, I feel this connection with you that I’ve never felt with anyone else before and—’
‘I’d love to go out with you,’ Emily responded.
It felt like a doctor had taken off a clamp that had been restricting his blood flow. Suddenly Ray’s entire body was flooding with heat and his insides were performing all kinds of street-dance. ‘You would? Wow, I… really wasn’t expecting that.’
Emily laughed. ‘But you asked anyway.’
Ray shrugged. ‘I figured that when you’ve got nothing to lose you only have everything to gain.’
‘Well,’ Emily began, ‘you might also be surprised that I wasn’t going to say that I thought it was all a big mistake.’
‘No?’
‘No, I was going to say that I wasn’t sure what it was or where I currently am with my feelings… but that the one thing I do know is that life has become a little bit better since you’ve moved in.’
‘It has?’ Ray said, looking at her and taking in her beautiful petite features, her fringe falling over her forehead, her cheeks pink from the heat lamps.
‘The apartment is warm again,’ Emily said, then quickly followed it up. ‘And I don’t just mean the heating.’ She laughed, sounding a little nervous. ‘What I mean is, it’s nice to have someone to share things with again.’
‘Yeah,’ Ray agreed. ‘I like that too.’
‘So,’ Emily said, eyes bright. ‘Where are we going tonight?’
‘Ah,’ Ray said. ‘You’ll have to wait and see.’
Forty-Nine
Leadenhall Market
Emily wasn’t going to lie. It felt a little weird. She was going on a date. This was not two platonic flatmates sharing an evening together because they didn’t have another offer. This was two people going on a date. They might not know exactly where their feelings were at, but there were feelings. And they were definitely of the non-platonic kind…
‘Wow!’ Emily exclaimed as they stopped at the entrance to Leadenhall Market. There were cobbles on the ground and the air of a Victorian Christmas all around. A gigantic Christmas tree stood at the far end of the old-fashioned arcade, reaching almost the full height, top branches grazing the decorative glass roof. ‘I thought the pub we came from looked like something from Diagon Alley but this…’
‘Ah,’ Ray said, standing close to her, so close she could feel the warmth of his breath. ‘This market was actually used in one of the Harry Potter films as Diagon Alley.’
‘No!’ Emily exclaimed. ‘Really?’
‘Really,’ Ray replied.
She took in the painted red and gold signage of well-known shops and restaurants, all in keeping with the age of everything around it. Ancient columns, iron lanterns, delicate carvings, it really was like stepping back in time. As in the pub earlier. They had wound down a dark narrow alley and Emily had wondered where on earth it was leading, until a building that wouldn’t have looked out of place on the edge of a stormy Cornish cliff-edge had appeared. It had been all deep-coloured wood décor and mysterious corners, serving ale out of wooden barrels.
‘I’ve never been here,’ Emily breathed. ‘It’s so beautiful. Like another world.’ She wanted to step onto the cobbles and marvel at every little nuance. It was all so intricate, so detailed, like some kind of working museum. And who would have thought it? All this, here in the heart of London’s financial district.
‘Want to know where we’re going to eat?’
She wasn’t sure Ray could take her anywhere better than here. She’d be happy with another drink, in the midst of all this, sitting outside but inside, beneath heat lamps that were omitting a red glow over patrons sipping wine and nibbling on olives.
‘I…’ she began.
‘Right over there,’ Ray said, pointing to an establishment mere strides away.
Emily read the sign and smiled with excitement. ‘Cheese! We’re going to eat cheese?!’
Ray laughed and nodded. ‘We’re going to eat cheese. Is that alright? I’ve booked a tasting for us. Ten different types of cheese to sample. You can choose what styles you want to try and I don’t think it’s like a wine tasting. I think you actually taste it and eat it rather than push it round your mouth and spit it out.’
‘I’d never, ever spit cheese out, no matter what anyone said,’ Emily told him.
‘That’s good to know,’ Ray replied. ‘So, shall we go and sit down?’
Emily found his hand and held it in hers. Those long fingers, his large, strong palms felt so good to touch. ‘Ray, this is just so… me. I really really can’t wait.’
*
They had been shown to their table outside Cheese at Leadenhall, not at the very edge of the seating where the world – including fans or paparazzi – could see them but tucked in the corner. Yet here they were still very much able to look out onto the thoroughfare of the arcade. It was private and intimate, but with a great view of the goings-on and the plump Christmas tree twinkling with a myriad of traditional dressings. And now the cheese had arrived. Gorgeous portions of internationally produced dairy products rested on black slates and each serving was explained to them by their host. They’d also been given a list of their choices to refer to as they sampled. But it wasn’t the cheese Ray was really excited to look at. Emily had taken off her coat and revealed the most perfect dress he’d ever seen. He was no women’s fashion expert, but the colour made her skin glow and her eyes come alive. It wasn’t tight, it didn’t cling to her curves, it just enhanced her pure, beautiful simplicity. It was 100 per cent giving him the Emily Parker that so enchanted him.
‘You should have wine,’ Emily remarked, taking a sip of her tonic water.
‘Why?’ Ray asked.
‘Because red wine goes beautifully with cheese.’ Emily sighed a little sadly.
‘Well,’ Ray said. ‘I’ve heard real cheese lovers think only more cheese goes beautifully with cheese.’
She laughed then, smiling at him.
‘What?’ he asked, enjoying her delight.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘For the show of solidarity. But, I don’t want you to think that you have to be tee-total because I am.’
‘I don’t think that,’ Ray replied. ‘Really.’ He lowered his voice to a near-whisper. ‘Don’t tell anyone but I’m enjoying finding out what life is like without any enhancement. And, apparently, as well as wrecking your liver, too much alcohol can also dull your taste buds. Did you know that?’
‘God!’ Emily exclaimed. ‘No, I didn’t know that. How awful!’ She sat forward on her chair, eager. ‘Can we start trying the cheese now?’
Ray laughed at her enthusiasm and watched her cut a small section of the first cheese. The list said it was Bath Soft Cheese. She placed the morsel into her mouth and closed her eyes.
‘Oh goodness!’ Emily remarked, mouth moving slowly. ‘This is so good. I mean, it’s really, really good.’
Ray swallowed, watching her lips taking their time to completely savour every second of the cheese-eating. It was making him a little hot under the collar if he was honest…
‘You aren’t trying it,’ Emily admonished.
Her eyes were open now and she was looking straight at him. ‘Sorry,’ he answered. ‘I was enjoying watching you enjoy it.’ Probably a little too much. He cut himself a piece and put it in his mout
h. Wow, Emily was right, it really was a divine taste.
‘Isn’t it amazing?’ Emily asked, cutting herself another section.
‘It’s amazing,’ he agreed. ‘It’s soft and… creamy and so light on your tongue.’
‘So,’ Emily said, grinning. ‘You’re a cheese lover too.’
He shook his head. ‘I like it, but I don’t know much about it if I’m honest. Cheddar is still where it’s at, right?’
Emily laughed. ‘There are many kinds of cheddar.’
‘The yellow one,’ Ray said. ‘Goes good on a sandwich.’
Emily smiled. ‘We always had a wide variety of cheese at Christmas. Maybe that’s where I get the love of it from.’ She popped another piece into her mouth. ‘So, I know you’re not a fan of the whole Christmas thing but, when you were little, before you lost your mum, how did you celebrate it? What sort of things did you do?’
He picked up his pint of lime and lemonade and took a sip before answering. ‘Well… usually my dad would leave buying a tree to the absolute last minute.’ He adopted a thick, breathy Cockney accent. ‘That’s when you get the best bargains, son, never mind late-night shopping, this is never-too-late shopping.’
Emily laughed, taking a sip of her drink.
‘And every tree he got was always miles too tall, or miles too wide, with a bare trunk and missing boughs or some other tree defect. But he enjoyed getting it on the cheap and my mum used to enjoy moaning about it. But she’d be smiling as she grumbled about it, knowing, no matter what, it was going to be exactly the same the next year.’ His mum had generally seemed happy at Christmas time. Maybe because his dad had some time away from work and they were together as a family. Plus, everyone started drinking at breakfast time on Christmas Day, didn’t they? Maybe, for her, it was a day off having to hide things. And maybe the reason he didn’t like it now, was because, without her, the happier, more smiley version of her, Christmas didn’t feel anything like it used to.
‘Well,’ Emily said, ‘the Parker family always had a real tree and we always got it early. Another one of my parents’ status things. Get the tree as early as possible to have the best pick and to ensure that every December drinks party they hosted was accompanied by the scent of pine and spruce. And all matching decorations, naturally, whatever colour was in that season.’
‘What’s in season this season?’ Ray asked.
‘I have absolutely no idea,’ Emily answered. ‘And no desire to know either. I got all my decorations from charity shops or fairs I went to. Simon…’
She stopped talking and dipped her head as if suddenly finding her slate of cheese needed closer inspection. ‘Sorry,’ she whispered.
‘Hey,’ Ray said, leaning forward a little and, putting his index finger to her chin, he encouraged it upwards. ‘What are you apologising for?’
‘I don’t want to keep bringing him up.’
‘Emily, Simon, he was a huge part of your life. You loved him. I think it would be crazy if you didn’t bring him up.’
‘Really?’ Emily said, looking back him.
‘Of course,’ Ray answered. ‘People we care about aren’t suddenly erased when they leave us.’ He sighed. ‘In fact, the memories get stronger and more vivid. Especially the good ones.’ He smiled. ‘For the love of God, tell me Simon liked cheese the way you do.’
‘Ah,’ Emily began, holding a finger in the air. ‘He actually liked cheese the way you do. Plain cheddar on white sliced bread, toasted under the grill.’
‘Now you’re talking,’ Ray answered. ‘Good on him.’
Emily shook her head, but her mouth was upturned in a beam. ‘You are both cheese heathens. How did that happen to me?’
‘What’s the next cheese?’ Ray asked. ‘I’m prepared to be educated.’
‘Oh,’ Emily said, looking to her piece of paper. ‘It’s called Golden Cross. I think this is the one the lady said was goaty and grassy and actually rolled in ash.’
‘I remember she said the texture of that one was like eating ice cream,’ Ray said. ‘I’m going to think of it that way.’
Before he could cut himself a sliver of the cheese, Emily reached out and touched his hand. Her small fingers rested on his and he looked over at her. Her auburn hair loose and tumbling down to lightly kiss her shoulders, her blue eyes full of intent…
‘Thank you, Ray, for bringing me here. It’s the most wonderful place for a first date.’
He moved his hand and cupped hers, gently holding on, her fingers so small compared to his. ‘Is this what this is? A first date?’ he asked. ‘Because, for me, the kiss on the roof terrace… well, that felt a lot like a date to me.’
Emily smiled. ‘A second date already. Wow. Who knows, by the time Christmas Day gets here we might be—’
‘Proficient on the recorder and glockenspiel,’ he interrupted.
‘Absolutely,’ Emily agreed, nodding. ‘Or signed up to write songs for the next Broadway extravaganza.’ She gasped. ‘Of course, you could actually do that, because you have all the songwriting talent.’
All at once Ray was distracted. Despite their slightly guarded position at the back of the outside seating, he had noticed a group of people gathering in the arcade, mobile phones trained in their direction. He dropped his head a little lower, even though he knew it was no doubt too little too late. He was thankful that Emily had her back to them. At least, hopefully, she wasn’t going to be brought into the middle of his chaos just yet…
‘Are you OK?’ Emily asked him softly.
‘Yeah,’ he answered, forcing a smile.
‘What is it?’ Emily wanted to know. She made to turn around, to look where he had looked and he caught her hand in his, holding it tight.
‘Don’t,’ he begged. ‘Just… ignore them.’ He took a breath. ‘Just keep looking at me.’ He squeezed gently, protective. ‘I like you looking at me.’
‘Is it journalists?’ she whispered, keeping her gaze on his.
‘Not yet,’ he answered. ‘It’s just people. Being people. It’s OK.’
‘It’s not OK,’ Emily responded. ‘Really, it isn’t.’
‘Hey,’ Ray said, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. ‘No one is going to spoil our kind-of second date, right?’
She didn’t say anything, and he knew how she must be feeling. Suddenly under scrutiny. Spied on.
‘No,’ Emily said with a determined nod. ‘No one is going to spoil our second date.’
‘It could be worse,’ Ray remarked. ‘They could be a lot closer and they could be asking me to sing.’
He should tell Emily, here, now, about the issue with his voice, about his fear of having the operation. But, in a corner of his mind was the reminder of everything that had happened with Ida. And he so didn’t want to appear weak to Emily. Their friendship that had happened so unexpectedly, this move forward to something that could be more than friendship, was his chance for a new beginning. He so longed to try and find the person he used to be before he’d got into a relationship that had altered his perception of everything. And Emily – beautiful, sweet, strong and determined Emily – she already had her hands so full with everything going on in her world… he really didn’t want to end up letting her down. Not now, on this second date, or, in fact, ever.
‘Well,’ Emily said, ‘let’s taste the cheese before they do.’ She picked up a sliver of the Golden Cross and put it in her mouth. Ray watched again as she closed her eyes and the sensations hit her taste buds.
‘Good?’ he asked, already sensing the answer that was coming.
‘So good,’ she breathed. ‘Like… the sweetest savoury cream and sunshine and sky…’ Her eyes opened and she gasped, her head turning to face the end of the arcade and the archway they’d walked through.
‘Oh goodness, Ray, look!’ Emily exclaimed, completely animated in her seat. ‘It’s snowing.’
His gaze followed hers then and he watched the lightest specks of snow begin to gently float down from the dark sky. Looking bac
k to Emily he saw the complete joy in her expression, like this weather change was a precious gift that had relegated curious members of the public to way down the pecking order and enhanced her everything.
‘You like snow,’ Ray said, making it a statement rather than a question.
‘I love snow,’ she answered. ‘Can we go for a walk after here? It might have settled by then.’
He wasn’t going to tell her that it really didn’t look like it was going to amount to anything significant; in fact, seeing her joy in it, he was mentally willing the snowfall to speed up and thicken.
‘Absolutely,’ he answered. ‘Maybe there’ll be enough to make a snowman.’
‘Wow,’ Emily said, smiling at him. ‘The man who doesn’t like Christmas would help me make a snowman?’
He nodded, suddenly overwhelmed with sentimentality. ‘Sure. I’ll even ask here if they can give us a carrot for his nose.’
Fifty
London Bridge
The snowfall had sped up and the flakes were now super-sized, but the pavements were damp and there was little chance of there being more than a crisp topping on the ground unless things changed overnight. Ray and Emily walked across London Bridge, taking in the usual sparkling lights of England’s capital, coupled with all the festive enhancements. Colour shone across the city – reds, electric blues, gold and bright greens – in December celebration mode, the vibe laid-back, but also buoyant, exciting and expectant.
‘I do love London at night,’ Emily said, a shiver running through her as she delved her hands a little deeper into her pockets. ‘There’s no other city quite like it.’
‘Have you been to many other cities?’ Ray asked.
‘Edinburgh. Edinburgh was lovely,’ Emily said. ‘Paris. Paris was beautiful. We went in the summer. It was chic and the Eiffel Tower was even more astonishing than it looks on the internet. I didn’t think I was going to make it all the way to the top, but I did and it was so worth it.’