Bess touched her arm gently. “You look tired.”
Because I haven’t been sleeping at all since Matt and I broke up. Not that we were actually a couple. Still, sometimes it felt as if we were.
Bess opened the storage room door. “I thought Charley might be getting another tooth.”
Sara smiled wanly. “He is. But now that I’ve learned all the ways to ease his discomfort, he’s okay most of the time.”
“Good to hear.” She pulled out a large plastic tub marked Lost & Found. “See it anywhere in here?”
Sara sorted through the collection of jackets and T-shirts, socks and shoes.
Bess perched on the edge of the desk with her arms folded in front of her. “So what is bothering you? I can tell it’s something.”
Finally, Sara thought, something they could talk freely about. She lifted her head. “I’m worried about Matt.”
Bess was not surprised. “A lot of us are,” she replied kindly. “Although he has seemed to be doing a lot better since he started hanging out with you and Charley.”
Sara nodded. That was true, too.
Bess continued to study her. “Is Matt going to continue helping you and Charley out, now that Champ is with Alyssa Barnes?”
Sorrow pinched Sara’s gut. “Probably not.”
“Really?” The other woman blinked in surprise. “The two of them looked so cute together on Saturday. Almost like father and son!”
And what a good daddy Matt would be, Sara thought wistfully, if only things had worked out between the two of them. “I know.” She bent her head and went back to looking through the bin.
Predictably, her friend, sensing trouble, did not give up her questioning. “So...what’s going on?”
Should she say something or say nothing? Sara wondered. In the end, she couldn’t risk doing nothing. Again. Even if doing nothing was meant to protect the ex-soldier in her life.
She swallowed around the ache in her throat and looked at Bess again. If anyone would know how to help, her friend the rehab nurse would. To her relief, Sara found that her affection for Matt gave her the courage she needed. “I found out Matt’s been having nightmares related to his time in the Middle East.”
“Does he talk about them?”
“Not really—” not the way I’d like “—and he doesn’t want me to mention it, either.” Which left a great big emotional wall between them. The kind so insurmountable it had torn them apart.
Bess nodded in understanding. “I’m guessing you suggested he talk to someone here.”
“I did. And that did not go over well. He pretty much ended our, um—” love affair “—friendship,” she said finally. Without warning, Sara spied what she had been searching for. She plucked the lost baby moccasin out of the box. “Here it is.” Although she had gotten what she needed now, she continued sitting for a moment, suddenly too weary to move.
The last few days had taken a lot out of her.
In fact, she felt as depressed, deeply saddened and empty inside as she could ever remember feeling.
Bess moved next to Sara. She put an arm around her shoulders. “One of the things I’ve learned in my years as a rehabilitation nurse is that whenever trauma or tragedy occurs in a family, it hits everyone close to them, too.” She paused to let her words sink in. “Even when the wounds aren’t visible.”
Sara blinked back tears and looked over at her friend. Bess took her hand, and they went to sit on the sofa along the wall.
Kindly, Bess explained. “Take Matt’s brother, Jack, for instance. Jack’s a civilian, but when his wife, Gayle, died during the birth of their third child, he was completely thrown by the loss, as were his kids.”
Sara wiped her tears away. “But they’ve recovered.”
Bess hesitated. “His situation is definitely a work in progress.”
Which meant he had hope about reaching reconciliation.
Whereas she...
“The point is, Sara, Jack knows he needs help after what happened. And he isn’t afraid to ask for it.”
* * *
Matt was in the pasture, tearing down old barbed wire fence with a vengeance, when he saw his mother’s SUV driving across the field, toward him.
Knowing she’d likely heard through the Laramie grapevine that his “friendship” with Sara was kaput, he swore. Sensing a lecture of some sort was likely coming, he set his tools down, yanked off his leather gloves and strode toward her.
Rachel propped her hands on her hips. “And here I thought you were getting better.”
He bypassed her and went straight for the big insulated water jug sitting on the bed of his pickup truck. “Thanks for the observation, Mom.”
She watched him mop his face with his sleeve. “You’re not returning messages again.”
Matt tipped the jug and opened the spout, then drank deeply of the cold water. “Probably a reason for that.”
“You don’t want us to know you and Sara broke up.”
Heart aching, he drank again. This time, to quell the sudden tightening of his throat. Feeling suddenly, unbearably, weary, he leaned against the side of his truck. “We were never a thing.”
His mom scoffed, “Come on, now.” Her expression as impatient as her voice. “Your family isn’t that clueless. You were definitely a couple, even if you never identified it as such.”
He didn’t care what “evidence” his lawyer mother had uncovered. With a shrug, he turned his glance away. “It doesn’t matter.”
She narrowed her eyes at his terse words. “Why not?”
Matt sighed. Knowing the maternal inquisition would not end until he gave his mother something concrete to go on, he explained, “Because Sara found out I’ve had a few nightmares, and has demanded that I go to this support group at WTWA, and I’m not going to do it. I’m also not going to fight about it with her, so she and I are...not going to be friends or anything else anymore.” It hurt, just saying the words.
Rachel nodded. “I see.” A mixture of pity and disappointment gleamed in her eyes.
Matt knew Rachel didn’t mean to judge him, but she was. Everyone was. He tensed all the more. “Look, Mom, I know you and Dad want me to be married and have a family,” he began.
And part of me wants that, too. Or did. With Sara.
“And...?” Rachel prodded.
Matt spread his hands wide. Digging deep, he forced himself to be completely candid. “I want what you and Dad have. A relationship that’s easy. That just works. And if I can’t have that, then hell... I’m not going to have anything,” he finished honestly.
His mother stared at him as if he’d grown two heads. “A relationship that’s easy...that just works,” she repeated in shock. She stepped nearer, her brows knit in confusion. “Is that what you think your father and I have?” she demanded.
Matt didn’t know why she was so surprised. Sensing another critique coming on, he returned, “I know it is.”
She matched his low, fierce tone. “Then you’re wrong. Marriage only looks easy on the outside. When you’re in it, it’s anything but. A successful union takes work and effort and putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own, and having them make the same sort of sacrifices for you. Because if you’re both giving ninety-five percent, and taking five percent, a relationship will always work.”
He understood selfless teamwork. It was what made military units thrive. “And that’s what you and Dad do?”
“Yes,” Rachel said softly. “We always put each other first. And we always will.”
That made sense now that he thought about it. His parents were always helping each other out, caring for each other, loving each other, finding ways to make even the most contentious situation work out in a way that ultimately satisfied everyone. It was that kind of loving unity that had made their family thrive. Matt gulped. “I’m not sure Sara
and I can do that, Mom. We’re so different.”
His mother offered a wry smile and shook her head. “Maybe not as much as you think. Given how stubbornly you’re both behaving.” She touched his shoulder with maternal affection. “Sara wants you to live life fully. She wants you to be able to sleep at night, to not be so shut off. Now tell me, Matt. What exactly is so wrong with that?”
* * *
“I know this was tough for you,” the counselor said, as the group disbanded. She rose and intercepted Matt before he could get out the door. “But I’m happy you were here tonight, and happier still that you’ve also agreed to see one of our counselors, one-on-one.”
“I appreciate the opportunity.”
“It’ll get better.”
Will it? he wondered, thinking how he had initially let Sara down.
“Just give it time.”
“I will,” Matt promised. Because time was the one thing he suddenly had plenty of.
He ran into Bess Monroe as he headed down the stairs. She grinned at him, offering the encouragement, “Getting started is always the hard part!”
Bess was right. Taking advantage of all the WTWA had to offer hadn’t been difficult, Matt thought. The really tough part was what was coming up next. Because he was on his way to the Blue Vista to see Sara.
Except...she wasn’t at the ranch she’d shared with her late husband. She was here. In the flesh. Coming out of one of the other support group rooms. He blinked. “Sara?” he said hoarsely.
Surprise lit her pretty features. “Matt!” she said, coming to a halt right in front of him. Not looking nearly as unhappy to see him as he would have expected her to be, given the way they had parted several weeks ago. For a moment, her gaze devoured him, head to toe, as if checking for any further injury. She lightly clasped his arm. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”
“Same here,” he countered gruffly.
Bess passed them again and said, “My office is empty. Third floor.”
Sara looked at Matt, an inscrutable question in her eyes. “Sounds good to me,” he murmured. Whatever afforded them privacy.
They climbed the stairs, neither speaking until they got inside Bess’s office and closed the door behind him.
Sara turned to face him, looking more gorgeous than ever in a pretty pink dress and white cardigan. “As you can probably see,” she said, her intent gaze giving him courage, “I had my first group session.”
“So did I,” he forced himself to reveal with unflinching honesty.
Her breasts rose as she inhaled a shaky breath. “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.” It had been a rough road, getting him to the recovery process, but now that he was here, he was not giving up. Not on healing. Not on her. Not on the two of them and the future he knew in his heart they were destined to have together.
“I guess great minds do think alike.” Her eyes were kind. Hopeful...
He wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her against him. “I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely.
“I’m sorry, too. Really, really sorry. I was way too hard on you.”
“You gave me the kick in the pants I needed.”
She splayed her soft, delicate hands across his chest. Her palm settled over his rapidly beating heart. “The thing is, Matt, we both need help. I realize that now.” Her lower lip trembled with emotion and her eyes sparkled with tears as she gazed up at him.
Shaking her head in silent regret, she confessed, “I accused you of not wanting to deal with what happened when Mutt passed. Well, I haven’t dealt with what happened when Anthony passed.” Her low voice caught. “And I know that I have to do that before I have even a chance of moving on.”
The heartache of loss was something they both shared. “I need to do that, too,” he told her. The difference now was that grief was bringing them together, instead of driving them apart.
And together, he knew, they could do anything.
They continued staring at each other, breathing raggedly. Filled with hope.
“So...we’re both getting counseling,” Sara said, mulling that over with a mixture of satisfaction and relief.
“We are,” he told her tenderly, taking her face in his hands and rubbing his thumbs over her cheeks. His throat felt tight and his easy speech deserted him. “But I don’t want to just work on myself,” he murmured softly. “I want to work on us, as a couple, too.”
Sara blinked in amazement. “You do?”
“Yes, darlin’.” He bent to kiss her, softly and sweetly, with all the tenderness she deserved. He paused, shook his head in remorse, admitting, “I’ve missed you more than words can say.”
“Oh, Matt,” Sara trembled in his arms. “I’ve missed you, too! So much!”
He gathered her close, and they kissed again, even more poignantly this time. With heartfelt regret, he admitted, “I never should have walked out the way I did, but,” he paused to draw a breath, “our time apart reinforced something that deep down I think I’ve known all along.”
“Which is...?” Sara asked, going completely still.
Matt sifted his hands through the silk of her hair, tilting her face up to his. “That you and I are made for each other. We might have our struggles and imperfections, but together we make sense.”
Sara beamed with unmistakable happiness. “I couldn’t agree more, Matt.”
He nodded in relief. Knowing there was still more to work out, he forged on gruffly, “I want to do the things that will make our relationship selfless enough and strong enough to last a lifetime,” he confessed raggedly, telling her all that he’d hidden, all that was in his heart. “Because I love you, Sara. With all my heart and soul.”
“Oh, Matt,” she whispered back joyously. “I love you, too!”
She lifted her head to his, and their lips met in a searing kiss that sealed the deal, and then another that was deeper and more long lasting, more passionate.
Finally, Matt drew back slightly. Grinning, he cleared his throat and drawled, “So now...for the really important part...”
She listened, ecstatic.
He took both her hands in his and clasped them tightly. “I want us to have a future together. You, me, Charley and whatever canine companions we bring into our lives.”
Sara’s smile brimmed, mirroring the happiness he felt. “Sounds perfect to me!”
He dropped down on one knee, ready and able to give her everything she ever wanted and needed. Solemnly, he asked, “Good enough to marry me when the time is right?”
“Oh, Matt,” Sara whispered. She knelt and tugged him close. Their lips met in another sweet and enduring kiss. “There’s nothing I want more!”
Epilogue
April, three years later...
“Mommy, when is my baby sister finally going to crawl?” Charley asked, his cute little face scrunched up impatiently.
“I don’t know if Kristen will crawl,” Sara told her son honestly as she set her six-month-old daughter on the play mat spread out over the living room floor.
Grinning, Matt picked up Charley and held him in his arms. The two handsome fellas went nose to nose. “You never did.”
Charley blinked in amazement. “I didn’t?”
Matt shook his head, then relayed proudly, “You went straight to walking.”
“Wow,” Charley breathed, and he and Matt settled on the floor next to Sara and the baby.
“Wow is right.” Matt leaned over and bussed their son’s head. “Your mommy and I were really amazed when we saw you pull yourself up on the side of your crib and start walking along the rail.”
Charley climbed onto Matt’s lap and rested his hands on Matt’s broad shoulders. Never at a loss for questions, asked, “How old was I, Daddy?”
Matt ran a hand lovingly over his back. “Eight months and two days.”
Tilting his head, Charley considered. “Is that good?”
“Very good,” Matt praised.
“I think Kristen will do very good, too,” Charley pronounced solemnly. He got down to play with his baby sister. He showed her toys, and pretend-read to her from one of the cloth-covered infant storybooks.
Nearby, their adopted eight-year-old retired service dog, Mollie, watched happily from her cushion next to the fireplace, her big blond head nestled on her paws.
Looking every bit as contented as Sara felt, Matt settled closer to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzled her hair. “So what do you think, wife?” he murmured in her ear as their kids continued to play. “You want to grill out tonight, since the weather is so nice? Or go into town and eat?”
Aware it didn’t matter what they did, because they were always incredibly happy when they were together as a family, Sara turned toward him and smiled. “Either option works for me, cowboy.”
Soaking up his strong, masculine warmth, she wreathed her arms about his neck, kissed him on the cheek, then gazed adoringly into his gray-blue eyes.
It was amazing how much the support they had both received from the West Texas Warriors Association had not only helped them both resolve their own grief but helped others suffering from similar calamities heal as well.
She’d gone back to work part-time as a large-animal vet, and still shepherded a new litter of future service puppies into the world every year.
Matt had finished revitalizing his ranch and now ran a little cattle, alongside his brother’s herd, too.
When they’d married, a year into their official courtship, she’d sold the Blue Vista and moved into his ranch house at the Silver Creek.
It hadn’t taken long to convert the big empty space into their home, or for them to decide to expand their family. And now Charley and their dog, Mollie, and their new baby girl, Kristen, loved it there as much as she and Matt did.
To the point that life just didn’t get any more perfect.
She smiled. “I think I’d like to stay here. Tomorrow is the service dog reunion. We still have a lot to do to get ready to host it, once the kids are in bed.”
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