by Amy Lane
Jackson nodded dutifully. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t stop that—not even after surgery, you understand? Recovery is working every day to be healthy. Am I getting through to you?”
“Yes,” Jackson said, with another look at Ellery. Ellery couldn’t look at him, but his eyes were bright and shiny and his breaths were hard and long.
Dr. Keller nodded. “Well, not everybody sees recovery like that, but those are usually the people who don’t make it. Keep recovering, young man, and you may live to be a recovering old one, is that a deal?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Then you can take your husband outside and get him some air. He’s not looking too good.”
They were supposed to go to the office, but Jackson texted Jade as they were walking out of the hospital and told her they were going home instead. She said good—they had a bunch of meetings with potential clients tomorrow, and they needed to rest up. Jackson booty-bumped Ellery out of the way when he got into the car.
“Where are we going?” Ellery asked as Jackson pulled out of the parking lot.
“Home.”
“Why? Don’t we have work today?”
“What is it you keep telling me about being the bosses? We’ve done a funeral and a doctor’s appointment. I say we play hooky for the rest of the day.”
Ellery let out a half laugh. “So what do we do when we get home?”
“Oh, Counselor, if you have to ask that, I am falling down on the job.”
“But… but…,” Ellery sputtered, trying to come up with reasons not to.
Because he was scared. Because he’d almost lost Jackson too many times. Because Jackson had backslid, and so had Ellery, and Ellery’s faith was shaken.
Because it was up to Jackson to make things right.
“You finish that thought,” Jackson murmured happily. For once, traffic wasn’t being a rat bastard, and he was making good time. “Also think about what we can go out and eat that will fit into my whole new heart-healthy regime. C’mon… I know you’re dying to try some place that serves chicken in a whole new way.”
“Don’t patronize me!” Ellery snapped. But Jackson was suddenly feeling the joy of the student who didn’t have to be back in school for three whole days.
“I will patronize you with my dick in your ass, Ellery Cramer, so you had better get used to the idea and stretch!”
Ellery’s caught breath told Jackson the merits of the idea had just hit him right in the groin. “Jackson, I won’t be—”
“Nope, not trying to seduce you so you won’t notice, Counselor. I’m trying to seduce you because I fucking want you.” They were at a stoplight, and Jackson reached around to fondle Ellery through his slacks. “And I think you might have a thing for me.” He gave Ellery a squeeze. “A good thing.”
“A hard thing?” Ellery snarked back, and Jackson’s own cock began to get hard too.
“Not as hard as my thing’s gonna be,” he taunted.
“Talk, talk, talk…. Shut up and fucking drive.”
Jackson chuckled, liking the sound of that, and they pulled into the driveway ten breathless minutes later. They passed the tank and parked in the garage, practically running through the connecting door, slamming it behind them against the heat.
Jackson was on Ellery before they even passed the kitchen, a balls-out mauling as Ellery struggled for breath, for footing, finally clinging to Jackson’s shoulders as they threatened to overbalance on the floor.
“Bedroom?” Ellery begged, feet sliding between Jackson’s legs as Jackson pinned him to the wall.
“You gonna run away from me?” Jackson asked seriously. “You been running for three days, Ellery. I’m not going to stand for that anymore.” He hadn’t met Jackson’s eyes since the ambulance. And Jackson was done with that shit.
Ellery squeezed his eyes tight now. “I love you so much, every close call we have fucking hurts me more.”
“I know,” Jackson whispered, touching his lips to Ellery’s jaw, to his ear, to the side of his neck. “I’m hard to housetrain, I know it.” He pulled up a mouthful of skin at the joint of his shoulder, under his polo shirt. He nibbled a little, enjoying the way Ellery moaned and squirmed, and then let it go with a pop. “But I’m worth the trouble,” he promised. “I swear, I’ll be like Billy Bob—beat the fuck up, but still here.”
Ellery went for his neck, sucking his own mark, pulling back, letting it go. “I’ll hold you to that,” he breathed.
“Then come on.”
Jackson helped him stand, and they ran to the bedroom, stripping as they went. Ellery kicked off his deck shoes as soon as they hit the hallway, and Jackson left his sneakers on the white tile of the kitchen. Jackson’s shirt was ditched at the bedroom door, and his shorts fell to the ground with a thump by the side of the bed.
He looked up and saw Ellery stripped to the skin on the other side, and he slid his boxers right off his ass and dropped them on the floor and pulled back the covers.
And then he pinned Ellery underneath him before he could even breathe.
“Jackson!” he pleaded. “No—not like—”
Jackson pulled back from sucking on his nipple and smiled wolfishly. “Let me seduce you, this time,” he said sincerely. “I am right here with you, and I want to hear every moan.”
He pulled Ellery’s nipple back into his mouth and sucked hard, and Ellery didn’t let him down. One breath, one stretch of skin at a time, Jackson paid homage to the man who’d stood by his side, the man who was just a little bit afraid this time, because his heart was a little sore. He pulled Ellery into the present with him, into the sense of hope, of renewal that he had, because just this once, trying to do the right thing had been rewarded.
He was alive. He was here in bed with the only person on the planet he could think about spending a long, healthy life with.
He was going to make Ellery glad he was there if he had to by God make the man jizz out his eyeballs.
But that didn’t stop him from getting lost in Ellery’s cock, from sucking it so far back in his throat, he killed his own gag reflex, just to have more. He wanted the taste, the texture, the absoluteness of Ellery Cramer in his body, and his own arousal roared through his ears, amped in his groin, with every lick, every taste, every suck.
Ellery cried out too early, but Jackson swallowed anyway. All of it. He drank deeply, wanting Ellery to be a part of him. Ellery moaned a little, moving away, and Jackson moved up his body, claiming his mouth without hesitation, growling when Ellery gave in to him, holding nothing back.
They kissed. Jackson’s cock drooled precome, and he ached for completion, but still they kissed. He reached under the pillows for the lubricant and only broke off when he had it in his hand.
“I’m gonna fuck you,” he cautioned, and Ellery nodded.
“I know.”
“And you’re gonna be all mine.”
“I know.”
“And we’re gonna be that way for as long as we’re both breathing. You’re mine.”
Ellery’s eyes spilled over, and he nodded, touching Jackson’s jaw gently, cupping his neck. “I know. I’ve been all yours from that first time. Didn’t you know that?”
“I know it now,” Jackson whispered, kissing him again. He tasted brine, but he needed too badly, Ellery needed too badly, for him to stop and wipe his tears.
A quick pass with the lubricant and he was there, poised at Ellery’s entrance, while Ellery tilted his head back in acceptance.
“Hey,” Jackson whispered. “Look at me.”
Ellery opened his reddened, shiny eyes. “What?”
“This is a good thing, us together.”
Ellery nodded, and Jackson slid into his body, satin on satin, and Ellery made a little cry in the back of his throat. “More!” he begged, and Jackson kept thrusting, all the way in, and Ellery wrapped his arms around Jackson’s shoulders and his legs around his hips and clung.
Oh, inside Ellery was his favorite pla
ce. Warm and tight—for maybe the first time, he believed Ellery was never letting him go.
“Move,” Ellery begged. “Move. C’mon, baby, I’m dying here—ah! God, yes, fuck me!”
Jackson couldn’t hold back, not anymore. He used to be so good at being selfless, at making a lover come, and come again, before he got his piece. But not with Ellery. With Ellery he needed—so bad it hurt, so bad he ached with the needing. There was no holding back, no making Ellery come again and again before Jackson felt entitled to his own release.
It was Ellery he just fucking needed.
He thrust into Ellery’s body in a frenzy, and his heart held out, this once, as he fucked again and again, until Ellery cried out and came, just this once without trying to make Jackson come first. Jackson gloried in the heat of his come, the sloppiness, the way they both wore it without thinking. The thought of it bowed his back, tightened his ass, oh dear God, it made his cock hurt with the needing, the needing….
“Come, Jackson!” Ellery begged. “Please, just—oh!”
Jackson poured himself into his lover’s body, eyes rolling back in his head, lost in orgasm as he never allowed himself to be lost with another human being. He rutted, still aroused, until another aftershock rocked him and he collapsed, his face buried in Ellery’s neck, his own tears making a hot and sticky haven of his favorite fort in the world.
“Don’t leave me yet,” he begged. “I’m just starting to be worth your time.”
“I could never leave you,” Ellery whispered, smoothing his hair back from his face. “Dammit, Jackson, I can’t even take a step back to breathe. You are my heart and lungs…. How could I leave you? You’re the only reason I’m alive.”
Jackson nodded and caught his mouth in a messy, briny kiss.
Ellery was here. In his arms. Jackson would recover for the rest of his life, if that’s what it took to keep him there.
Look! A Castle!
IN A way, it seemed like the worst time in the world to have a party. Jackson was going into surgery in two weeks and the business was brand-new.
But as Ellery circled around his living room and made sure everybody was eating and drinking and happy, he had to agree with Jackson.
It did make him happy to be alive.
“So,” Galen Henderson said, calling Ellery to his table as he sat and conversed with Crystal. Crystal was gazing at him like his aura was pure and lovely, and Ellery had to laugh as he thought of all the evil Galen would readily confess to, but apparently, didn’t really do.
“Yes?” Ellery asked. “More sparkling water?”
“I just got a refill from this lovely woman here.” Galen nodded, and Crystal giggled, and Ellery hoped someone had told her Galen was gay.
“He’s going to fit in great at your office,” Crystal said guilelessly. “Once he starts getting clients too, maybe you can afford to hire me.”
Ellery’s eyes popped open, and at that moment John wandered up, his red hair still damp from the pool, although his board shorts were mostly dry.
“Did you ask him?” John said. “Because I think it’s a great idea. We’ve got an ex-model who’s waiting for his bar exam results—he’s going to be looking for a job soon. I was going to send him in for an interview, but in the meantime, Galen would love to be a full partner.”
Ellery gaped, and Galen smacked John’s arm.
“You,” Galen said distinctly, “have no tact.”
John grimaced. “Never have,” he said by means of apology. “But what do you think, Cramer? Think you could let Galen come on as a partner after he gets his results?”
Ellery recovered his balance and smiled. “I think we should talk,” he said, already liking the idea.
“Good,” Galen told him. “That way, John and I don’t have to break up because of his runaway mouth.”
John grinned, all teeth. “You love my runaway mouth.”
Galen smacked him again, and Ellery used that as a chance to escape. “On that note, I’ll go. But call me in two weeks, okay?”
Their expressions sobered—two weeks would be after Jackson’s surgery. “Of course,” Galen said softly, and Ellery turned away.
He walked right into Reg Williams, who, like John, was still damp from the pool.
“Hey, uh, Ellery,” Reg asked shyly, “where’s Jackson?”
Ellery’s eyes searched outside, where most of Kaden’s family, including his adopted son, Anthony, was enjoying the pool. They weren’t the only ones—Bobby was out there, along with Henry and his friend, the med student. David and Carlos were swimming with Frances, and Kryzynski and his boyfriend were blatantly ogling their bodies in surprise. Reg was dressed in board shorts as well, but he’d dried off and put on a shirt since he’d last been outside. Ellery had to laugh at all of the shirtless hot young men in his swimming pool. It was like every wet dream he’d ever had in high school.
“I’m not sure,” Ellery said, scanning the people. “He’s sort of disappeared.”
“We just want to thank him,” Reg said. “You know, for asking us. He said we could be friends, and I thought that was great, but then someone at work said he was just humoring me—”
“One thing I know about Jackson Rivers,” Ellery said, “is that he takes being a friend seriously. He was thrilled you could come.”
Reg’s smile could light up a room. Hell, it could light up a city.
“That’s real nice. I’m not so good on crowds, but I’ll stay until I can tell him thank you myself.”
“I’ll make sure he knows to come find you,” Ellery said quietly.
“Damn,” Kaden muttered, coming out of the kitchen. In spite of Ellery’s best efforts at air-conditioning, the kitchen was warm, and Kaden’s shaved head reflected the light like shiny syrup. He smiled widely at Ellery, and Ellery hugged him, happy when the giant of a man hugged him hard back.
“Damn what?” Ellery grinned at him, genuinely happy to see Jackson’s brother-of-the-heart. “Damn, your wife is outside with all those hot men?”
“Well, that, yeah,” Kaden said with a laugh. “But I had no idea how many people you guys knew.”
Ellery’s mouth twisted, and he sought out Rabbi Watson, who was probably the only person there that he’d invited for himself. And the reason the rabbi had agreed to come was that he was worried about Jackson. Ellery couldn’t spot him, but that didn’t change the truth. He didn’t see the rabbi, but he did see Crystal and AJ and AJ’s friend—Ellery’s former client—Jael.
“These are all Jackson’s friends,” he said. A year ago, he’d never had more than four people at his dinner table, and he’d been the only one to use the pool. Until he’d met Jackson, that had been enough.
Something about Jackson made Ellery’s heart bigger. Made his life bigger. Made him want to open up his home to accommodate all these new people, to celebrate them.
“Are you still worried?” Kaden asked softly. Because of course Jackson had told him. Jackson didn’t keep secrets from his brother.
“Aren’t you?” Ellery asked, trying not to be bitter.
“Of course.” Kaden shrugged. “But we’ve been worrying about him a lot longer than you have. You have to pace yourself or you’ll get exhausted.”
Ellery let out a bark of laughter. “That’s hilarious. Every time I think I can step away and breathe and pace myself, he….” He made love to Ellery until every barrier between them broke down and they were left, broken heart to damaged soul, beating together as one.
“Are you strong enough?” Kaden asked seriously. “Because he thinks you’re strong enough. And he hasn’t put his faith in anybody but me and Jade for a long goddamned time.”
“Of course I am,” Ellery snapped back. He laughed then, less bitterly. “I am. I guess it’s like recovery. He’s recovering from the rest of his life, and I’m just recovering from being scared for him.”
“Welcome to the club,” Kaden said gently. “Call me if you ever need to talk.”
Ellery found his smil
e then, and it was whole and unfettered. Kaden had hated him once—but not anymore. Now they were family. “I’ll do that,” he said genuinely. “But first, I need to find him.”
Kaden looked around at all the people. “Uhm, I hate to suggest this, but maybe he’s hiding. I mean, this many people might freak him out a little, you think?”
“Who, Jackson?” Jade asked, coming to talk to them, with Mike at her elbow. “Yeah. He’s never been great at parties—especially meant for him. Remember when Mom tried to throw him a bash for his eighteenth birthday?”
Kaden’s smile went sweet and sentimental. “We had to drag him out of the laundry room, and that was just us and some kids from school.”
Ellery’s eyes darted to their bedroom, where they’d stored purses and backpacks and changes of clothes. “Actually,” he said, “I think I’ve got an idea.”
They let him go, which told him that he was the one they trusted to take care of Jackson and that he was probably the right man for the job.
He found Jackson sitting cross-legged on their bed, Billy Bob in his lap, while he talked quietly with Rabbi Watson.
“Ellery!” the rabbi said, smiling through his neat brown beard. “How nice to see you. We were just talking about me resuming my visits next week. I think that would be terrific, don’t you?”
Ellery grinned at him, charmed as he always was by the rabbi’s attempt to sound older than his maybe forty years in order to be a more “rabbinical” presence.
“I think Jackson talking to anybody is a really good idea,” he said, meeting Jackson’s green eyes across the muted room.
Jackson smiled and looked away.
“Well, I’m going to go inside and try some of those wonderful canapés,” Rabbi Watson told him. “And how kind of you to make a plate that was kosher, and one that was halal.”
The halal plate was also vegan—Ellery liked to cover his bases.
“Enjoy the food,” Ellery told him, his public face and voice very much to the fore. The rabbi left, and he felt that slip away as he sat down on the bed next to Jackson, taking his hand.