by Roxie Ray
But…
“Is that even possible?” I looked to Kloran, who was staring at me with a guilty look on his face. “I mean, I know it’s possible, I know how sex works, it’s just—”
Adskow removed a white medical wand from a machine he must have rolled in while I was in the bathroom spewing. As he moved it over my lower abdomen, an image of my womb showed up on the screen.
“It’s more than possible,” Adskow said with a smile. He tapped a tiny little speck in the center of the screen, just along the inner wall of my uterus—one that there was no way human technology would have been able to detect. “You are pregnant, Bria. It is early still, but there it is. Clear and true.”
I stared at the speck for a second, waiting for my brain to process it. When it finally sank in, my eyes filled with tears and my lips trembled. A sob left my chest, so hard that my entire body rocked forward with the force of it.
Pregnant. Holy cow, I was pregnant.
In that little speck, all of Kloran’s hopes and dreams for his people had finally come true.
Kloran moved to me immediately, pushing Adskow aside so he could wrap me up in a hug.
“I am so sorry, vringna. Please do not cry—I am so, so sorry.”
When he pulled away, I blinked up at him, confusion melting my tears away. “What do you mean, sorry? You don’t need to apologize, Kloran.” I gave him a smile that I hoped would reassure him. “I’m not crying because I’m sad. I’m crying because I’m happy, you big idiot. I guess this explains all the puking too, huh? Morning sickness—a lot of human women have it. I guess having a half-Lunarian baby inside me doesn’t change things much in that way.”
Now it was Kloran’s turn to look confused. “Well…yes, you smell happy. But Bree-ah…earlier, when we spoke of this, you said you were not yet sure you wanted to become a mother, and—”
I cut him off with a laugh. “Maybe I wasn’t sure then. But now…this is happening, Kloran. We’re going to be parents. Come on—it’s good news, isn’t it? You’ve found a solution to the big Lunarian baby problem without even trying!” I sniffed, then giggled again. “Well. Maybe with a little trying. Just not the kind of trying you thought you’d have to do.”
I took his face in my hands and ran my thumbs across his broad, handsome cheekbones. Sunshine was practically bursting in my chest. Suddenly, I didn’t feel sick at all anymore. If anything, I felt like I was glowing, glittering light through my every pore.
Pregnant. I was pregnant with Kloran’s baby—and despite my earlier reservations, I was happy about it, too.
But as I looked into Kloran’s eyes to find that happiness reflected back at me, I didn’t see them shift into any color that looked like happiness.
If anything…
My heart fell in my chest as Kloran’s eyes slowly changed color.
Cloudy and gray.
17
Kloran
I sat in the captain’s chair at the helm of the ship as the bright lights dimmed, signaling the oncoming of night. My other warriors and ship’s officers had already retired for the evening, and Head Healer Adskow had required Bree-ah for additional testing to ensure our cub’s health.
I was alone on the bridge, and I had never felt more alone than in that moment just then. News of Bree-ah’s pregnancy had already leaked to the rest of the ship—Adskow’s doing, no doubt, the old gossip—and all afternoon, I had been congratulated, applauded, clapped on the shoulder and patted on the back. But I did not feel as joyous as the rest of my warriors about the conception of my cub. Not nearly so joyous as I should have felt.
No. It was guilt that I felt when I thought of the tiny life that I had stirred into Bree-ah’s womb. Never before had I felt guilt, but now it was sinking its teeth into my insides, eating me alive. Bree-ah had told me there was nothing to be sorry about, but I knew better. Of course there was.
Bree-ah was pregnant because of the fertility serum I had given her without her knowledge. It had prolonged her heat in her moon-cycle, ensuring that the coupling we had been doing would not be fruitless. At the time, it had been what I wanted, but now, I was not so sure.
I had promised Bree-ah that I would not force myself on her. Now, I had forced a child within her instead.
Better to rip out the sutures now than let the wound heal over, only to slice it open again. The words of Haelian’s advice struck me like a warhammer to the chest.
He had been right, too. I should have told her sooner so she could prepare herself for the news of her pregnancy. Now…
Now, it may have already been too late.
“Kloran?” Bree-ah’s voice called out to me from across the bridge as she entered it. “I thought I might find you here.” She hesitated at the inner level of controls that circled around me. “Can we talk?”
I turned my captain’s chair to face her, swallowed hard and nodded. “Of course, precious thing.”
I could feel the color drain from my face as Bree-ah came to me, placing herself on my knee and staring down at me with distress.
“I can tell something is wrong, Kloran. This baby should have made you the happiest man in the entire universe—but instead, you’ve been really…distant, since we found out.” She brushed her fingers against my forehead, pushing my silver waves away from my face. “Will you talk to me, please? I don’t want you to shut me out. Especially not now.”
Her hand lowered to her abdomen. She must have been thinking of our cub, growing there within her. Tenderly, I cupped my own fingers over hers.
“It is just…you have been through so much, Bree-ah.” It was only half a lie. I could not bring myself yet to tell her the real truth. “After everything your husband on Earth did to you, your abduction, Queen Lieja’s insults on Jeorkana, everything you have endured just to get here. I fear that pregnancy will be but another burden on your delicate shoulders.”
“Not so delicate,” she reassured me with a little smile. “Despite all my fainting and puking and panicking, I’m tougher than I look sometimes.”
“Oh, Bree-ah…” I gave a sad laugh. “That is not my fear at all. I know how strong you are. It makes me proud to call you my mate. But…” I sighed, just not for the reasons she must have assumed. All of this half-truthing was almost more difficult than maintaining my deception. “The papers I was given about you when I purchased you revealed you had been on some sort of heat blocker on Earth that had to be flushed from your system. Are you sure—”
“I was on birth control on Earth against my husband’s wishes, Kloran. He was…” She flinched even at mentioning him. “He was a cruel man. You know that already. I didn’t want to have his babies. I was afraid he’d hurt them just as much as he hurt me, and they would have bound me to him forever. But you…” Her smile returned as she placed a tiny kiss on the flat of my nose. “You’ve been so good to me. So kind and loving and protective. You could have kept me a prisoner here on your ship, impregnated me by force if you’d wanted to. You’re the captain, the only one who knew that I wasn’t actually a slave. You didn’t have to tell anyone. No one could have stopped you. Instead, you’ve taken such good care of me. You were honest, even when it didn’t benefit you to be.” Her smile broadened even as my heart plummeted into my stomach. “It’s why I love you. Or at least, it’s part of it.”
I cleared my throat uncomfortably. I knew Bree-ah was trying to soothe me, but now, I felt even more guilty than ever. If she had only slipped a dagger between my ribs instead, it would have pained me less.
“Oh, Bree-ah. I am so sorry.” It was all I could say.
“Sorry for what?” She laughed softly, the ringing of a bell, clear and true. “Did you not hear anything I just said?”
“It is only…” Tell her, you fool! Tell her now, before you make this even worse! “I do not know how to move forward now. Knowing that humans can carry Lunarian cubs, it is more important to my people than you can truly comprehend. But humans do not know of other lifeforms in the universe. You have told me t
hat much yourself. And I cannot imagine that an alien invasion with the sole purpose of impregnating Earth’s women would be welcomed by your people.”
Bree-ah scrunched her nose up adorably, brown eyes sparkling. “Then you obviously don’t know how attractive you and your warriors are to us Earth women. And you obviously haven’t met human men.”
I cocked my head to one side. This was news to me. Of course, I believed that Bree-ah was attracted to me. We shared a bond, she and I, the likes of which few Lunarian men of the last several generations would have ever had chance to know.
And if there were other human females out there like Bree-ah, who would be amicable to the idea of being taken to bed by the men of my race…
I clenched my jaw with resolve, then pulled her lips down to my own.
I could not risk breaking my bond with Bree-ah, nor could I jeopardize this chance at saving the Lunarian species.
I would have to live this lie for the rest of my life. Bree-ah could never know.
The next few weeks were all but torture for me. I forced my guilt down into the pit of my stomach. It writhed there like a black snake, coiling and growing larger with every passing day. But on the outside, I could not show Bree-ah even the slightest hint of my sadness. She loved me, and she had my cub in her womb. I did not wish to cause her more distress by appearing anything but overjoyed about her pregnancy—and so, I did not.
Throughout those weeks, Bree-ah’s pregnancy progressed without trouble. The morning sickness she had felt was abating, and our cub was growing within her, strong as its mother was. I called her to the communications deck one night to make a call to my parents—an annoyance, I knew, but a necessary one. Bree-ah deserved to meet our cub’s grandparents, and my mother and father needed to know that I intended to make her not just my mate for life, but my bride as well.
The call began with a tense start. Mother and Father were obviously still vexed that I would be breaking their pact with Dianella’s parents, though they did not say so outright, and the concept of making a human female a princess of Lunaria was uncharted ground for all of us.
But after a few moments of speaking with them, the tone shifted abruptly. Bree-ah was complimentary to my mother’s jewelry and hairstyle, which quickly won Mother over in her favor. And my father had only to accustom himself to the way she looked, her beauty, her smile, before he appeared pleased by her as well. At the news of her pregnancy, their fondness of her grew even greater. Before long, Bree-ah had my parents laughing and joking with her as if they were old friends.
She had charmed them just as she had charmed me. The pride I felt at her accomplishment was enough to make even the black snake in my belly recoil—at least, for a little while.
“You have done well, my son!” My father shouted into the communicator, his face far too close to the screen as it always was. “With this precious human of yours, you have all but saved Lunaria!”
My mother pushed Father away from the screen. A bright smile was on her lips, lighting up her entire face. “We are very excited, Kloran. For more reasons than just this one. We will speak with the rest of the high council at once. Perhaps there is a way to create a slave contract with Earth’s government officials so we can procure more like your Bri-yuh.” At my side, Bree-ah stiffened immediately. “Until then, we will begin making preparations for your marriage ceremony as well. The feast we will hold in your honor will be unlike anything Lunaria has ever seen before—you have my word.”
As we ended the call, though, Bree-ah did not seem as pleased as my parents and I were.
“Kloran, you can’t enslave humans. That’s not right.” She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. “I won’t let you.”
Frustration welled up within me. After all of my lying to protect what we had built together, she dared to find new reasons to be enraged with me? I would not stand for it.
“You cannot tell me what I can and can’t do, vringna.” I all but snarled the words at her.
But Bree-ah did not recoil at the harshness in my voice. Not this time.
“I’m not telling you how to act, I’m telling you that it’s immoral, Kloran. There’s a longstanding history of enslaving people on Earth. One that too many people have fought and died to wipe out. But I can guarantee you, if the Earth governments catch wind that there might be money in it for them to start it up again, they’ll find a way. More women will end up being kidnapped just like I was. They won’t be willing, and it won’t be right.”
“The slave trade commission has ways to stop such nonsense,” I scoffed. “This is the way of life throughout the galaxies, Bree-ah. Suggesting that we would not uphold the rules of the commission—it is an insult to my people, and to the commission itself.”
“I’m not insulting your people, I’m insulting mine.” Even through my anger, Bree-ah was standing her ground. “I’m telling you that Earth’s governments will find a way to line their pockets with this if you pose the idea to them. Back on Earth, my country already has unethical laws in place so they can send people to work camps just for being poor, or saying the wrong thing, or being the wrong… type of human.” Gently, she took my hands in hers, fire flashing in her pleading eyes. “It happened to my parents, Kloran. They were taken away from me and I never saw them again. Probably, they’re already dead. I’m telling you, my people aren’t like yours.”
“I…” I frowned as I took in Bree-ah’s words. “I understand why you take such a strong position on this, Bree-ah. I am so sorry about your parents, and I will heed this warning well. But the high council will want more human women once they learn that you are able to mate successfully with Lunarian men. And they will need to acquire them somehow.”
Bree-ah pushed herself up on the tips of her toes to give me a kiss. “I know you’ll do the right thing, Kloran. You always do. We’ll find a solution to this somehow.”
But despite the sweetness of her kiss, I felt as though our situation was beginning to reach a tipping point.
I feared what would happen when it all came tumbling to the ground.
18
Bria
For the next few days, I couldn’t believe how stressed Kloran seemed. Even though my morning sickness was getting better, the meals we shared together at night weren’t any easier. Now it was Kloran who was barely eating.
“You have to keep your strength up too, handsome,” I told him, picking up a Lunarian berry and pressing it to his lips. “You can’t lead the ship on an empty stomach. You already look like you’re losing weight.”
“You are good to me, vringna. Kind and sweet.” Kloran nodded and accepted the berry, but he didn’t chew it with any enthusiasm.
That night, he didn’t have any interest in sex, either—much to my libido’s chagrin. He only seemed to want to hold me in his arms, so tight it felt like he was afraid if he loosened up his grip, I’d somehow slip away from him while he slept.
I understood the stress he was under. Or, at least, some of it. He was pushing the ship on to Lunaria as quickly as possible so he could explain the problems with enslaving Earth women himself, but we both knew that it wouldn’t go over well. When I passed his warriors in the halls, all I heard them talking about was how thrilled they were about my pregnancy—and how thrilled they were to have human slaves of their own soon.
“You do not happen to have a sister, do you, little human?” Nion grabbed the sleeve of my white healer’s shift as I made my way to the ward one day. His smirk was a handsome one, but his tone was a little vulgar. “I should like to have a dark-eyed human mate like you, I think—and those hips…”
Nion nudged one of the other warriors with his elbow, obviously pleased with the little fantasy he’d conjured up. But his retinue only roared with laughter as I wrenched my arm away from him.
“I do not have a sister,” I snapped at him. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t want her anywhere near a bunch of thugs like you.”
That only made the other warriors laugh even h
arder, but as I turned away, I saw Nion’s face fall.
“I am sorry, Bree-ah! I only meant—” he called after me.
“I don’t care what you meant,” I shouted back as I stormed away. “If you think you’re ever going to find a human woman who’ll want you, you’re going to have to clean up your act. We are not slaves.”
In the ward, Healer Adskow tried to console me when I explained what happened, but it was difficult with the number of patients we’d been getting lately. The Avant Lupinia was obviously a sort of home-base ship for all Lunarian patrols in the galaxy. More and more of them were meeting up with us as they left their posts in Jeorkanian space, and a lot of the men were coming back wounded. Often, badly.
“Nion is a young warrior. Headstrong and far too sure of himself.” Adskow held his hand out to me, and I placed a pair of tweezers in his massive palm. The warrior we were working on groaned as Adskow began plucking bits of shrapnel from his shoulder. “Even on Lunaria, the few women who reside there lust after him greatly. Of course, they are all promised to others of higher houses, which I am sure causes him great frustration. Likely, he is just excited at the prospect of finally having a mate of his own. All our warriors are. You give them hope, Bria.”
“What I’ll give them is a knee to the balls each if they keep staring at me like I’m a beer at a frat party,” I said with a glower. “They’re all going to be disappointed when they find out that Kloran is telling the high council not to go through with this slave trade agreement.”
Adskow gave me a look of sympathy. “A great weight rests on your mate’s shoulders, Bree-ah. Is he handling the stress well?”
I bit my lip, not sure of whether to admit it or not. “He seems…more tired than usual. And he’s losing his temper more often, too.”
I hadn’t wanted to tell anyone, but I’d kind of gathered that Kloran’s temper was already a well-known facet of life aboard the ship. It was easier to bear now that he was losing it at his warriors more often than he was directing it at me, but it worried me, too. He’d never raised a hand to me or demeaned me, but as much as I’d been telling myself Kloran was nothing like Michael, the two of them did share a volcanic sense of rage. At any point, with just the slightest provocation, it was all too easy to set Kloran off.