Hope & Despair- Full Circle

by Alan Wild

  He started to kick himself for touching Noah, so he apologized and said, "I am a hands-on kind of guy. I was in a difficult relationship and was not allowed to touch anyone but my partner, so I now make up for it by touching everyone." He told Noah, "You should have seen the look on Detective Ross's face when I reached over and touched him on his chest." Noah laughed and immediately looked down.

  Oliver told Noah that it would be better if he were in the room close to his bedroom. The other bedrooms have front-facing windows, and with all the police activity, he wouldn't sleep a wink. Noah agreed and followed Oliver up the stairs with his luggage in hand while Oliver carried one of his totes. He gave Noah the tour and let him know that he kept the fresh towels in the hall closet, and the bathroom was all his.

  Oliver walked to his room, stopped, turned around, and called to Noah, "I am sorry you are experiencing this mess right now. There is always a bright side to every situation". Noah frowned and said, "I don't know how there could be a bright side to my situation." Oliver responded promptly, "The bright side of this situation for me is that I now know my neighbor better, and I have a new friend." With an earnest look in his eyes, Oliver said, "You now have a friend Noah. I am here for you. You don't have to do this alone". They bid each other good night and headed into their rooms.

  Chapter 2

  Noah Blain

  “Sitting at his grandmother's table with his sisters, Noah could hear the arguing. First, his dad yelled, “I am tired of this bullshit. Now let’s move and get the hell out of here”. His grandmother yelled at her husband, “The washer and dryer are mine. God damn it! I bought them, and I am taking them”. Noah had always been jumpy, so when I heard the resounding echo of a slap, he felt tense. He looked around for some comfort from his mother, but she was nowhere to be found. He started to get up and look for her, but her sisters stopped him. NelDean said, “Sit down. We were told not to move”. Noah looked at her, and even though he was afraid, he stuck his tongue out at her. Just as he did that, his grandmother’s husband walked into the kitchen. There is a specific reason why he refers to him in this way, a grandfather; he is not! The man was angry because that was all he ever knew how to be. Noah’s grandmother was giving him a divorce, and he said, “I’ve had enough of your shit.” He told her that he would not take her back, and if she leaves, the door will be locked.”

  “That man was always quiet around Noah so that he could do as he wished and say he was not even there. Countless times when Noah would be on his lap, and he would pinch the child hard enough to make him cry. He would then put him down and laugh at him while telling everyone, condescendingly, that Noah was such a sensitive boy. So, when Noah stuck out his tongue, he was sure that the man had seen him. The guy towered over Noah with a silent scowl. He knew that a pinch was inevitable. The very thought of it made the little Noah shake. Grabbing the closest crayon, he started to color as he was told, but the tears just couldn’t be contained. It was just one of the things that disgusted him about his grandmothers’ husband.”

  “The pain, however, could not be put off. The tall man reached over and, with full force, pinched him. With fear and a trembling voice, Noah let out a scream. The tall man raised his hand and said, “I am going to give you something to cry about.” As he tries to slap Noah, his hand gets caught on the percolator coffee maker. Boiling coffee spilling and splashing on Noah was excruciatingly painful. Everything around him was happening at such a rapid speed that he would not comprehend what was going on. He felt his mom pick him up while everyone was screaming. He heard his mom and grandmother ask his dad to get towels to wrap him in. His dad was panicking and yelled, “The towels are packed and loaded in the moving truck!” He then proceeded to rip the curtains off the wall, to replace the towels. The last thing Noah remembers about that incident were both his sisters crying.”

  All that came out of his mouth was an agonizing scream. His dreams are always like this. Sometimes they are from a different viewpoint. At other times, they are like a vivid memory. Noah experienced that horrible day like a cursed reflection. He was jolted awake by his screaming and realized that it was still dark outside. He tried to use the breathing exercises his therapist taught him to go back to sleep.

  Sleep finds him once again, and his dream starts over from the beginning- only this time, there is blood everywhere. To Noah, it’s like he’s stuck in a never-ending loop. The same things happen only from a different viewpoint. “He is standing, watching, from the corner of the kitchen. Everyone is running around, screaming at each other and sloshing through the blood. It’s gushing in from under the cabinets, through cracks in the wall with such speed that he is sure they won’t survive.

  Looking around, he finds the back door and tries to open it so that the blood can escape, and they can run to safety. But the door is stuck. Something is in front of the door, blocking it, and he can’t open it. Feeling terrified and frustrated, with every ounce of strength he could muster, he pushed as hard as he can. As Noah tries to get his family's attention so they can all escape, he realizes that the events are happening just as they always do in the same order; his dad was screaming, “The towels are packed in the moving truck.” Everyone was moving quickly in a panicked frenzy. The only thing that he can think of is to run. As he is leaving through the backdoor to run for his life, his grandmothers’ husband blocks his exit. He is laughing at Noah, and he tells him that he will never escape. There is no use, even trying. The vile man bent down and pinched Noah’s arm extremely hard.”

  Noah was startled awake by another scream. The scream scared Noah enough to take action and fight or run like hell. His shaking and terror allowed him to pursue neither option. Frozen in the spot, he started to hyperventilate. As Noah struggled to breathe, the door flew open. The only thing he could understand was that somebody was asking him to breathe. There was something about his voice that soothed Noah. Once he was able to focus, he saw the gorgeous neighbor from across the street sitting in front of him on his bed. Oliver was rubbing Noah’s back, telling him, “I have you; it’s okay; you are safe.” Noah was still struggling to understand what was going on, when, suddenly, it all hit him. “This is not my bed, and this is not my house. The man in front of me is still my gorgeous neighbor. His name was easy to remember because it was just as hot as he is. How can a name be hot?”

  Noah knew now that he was going crazy. He may need to find another therapist because the dreams were back, and he felt attracted to a name, along with the man it belonged to. Once Noah could focus on what was going on, realizing that Oliver was not only rubbing his back, but his hand was on Noah’s knee. He was slowly moving his hand up and down his leg, and that is all Noah could feel. His hands were doing something to Noah that the man had never felt before. Once he was brave enough to look up at Oliver, he found his voice, and said, “I’m okay, thank you, I appreciate everything you are doing for me.” Finding himself embarrassed because he has been such a pain, again, he says, “Thank you.” This time he found the nerve to look into his eyes.

  Noah started to feel the heat run up his neck and flush his cheeks. In his embarrassment, his chin dropped down to his chest. That was when Noah found that he had something popping up underneath. His penis was fully erect and poking out for Oliver and the whole world to see. Flying out of bed, he ran to the bathroom. In the process, his feet got tangled up in his shoes, and he fell flat, doing a faceplant on Oliver’s hardwood floor. The pain was strong enough to make Noah cry in agony. He wasn’t worried about his face as much as he was concerned about his dick. It felt like the precious thing had broken in half, as his balls flew up inside his asshole. With damaged pride, he realized that Oliver had watched this whole catastrophe go down and was trying hard to hide a smile. Pulling himself off the floor, Noah made his way to the bathroom. He heard Oliver padding in his beautiful bare feet as he stopped in front of the bathroom door.

  In his deep, alluring, sexy voice, Oliver says, “Breakfast will be ready in fifteen minutes, an
d coffee is ready now. Come on down when you are ready.” Checking himself in the mirror, Noah ascertained that nothing was broken or sprained. His dick was red, where it took the direct hit with the full weight of his body. He decided that fifteen minutes would be sufficient time for him to shower. Turning on the water as hot as he could stand it, Noah allowed the spray to do its job and wash away his pain. It included the embarrassment and tension from the past haunting him in his dreams.

  Turning off the water, Noah made a quick job of drying himself. Making his way to the room with the towel wrapped around his waist, he was trying to hurry. While Noah had put his entire lack of coordination on display, he’d forgotten to gather his clothes and take them to the bathroom with him. He asked himself, “What in the hell is wrong with me?”. Fortunately, he made it to the room with no additional mishaps. He stepped over the shoes while cursing and blaming them for his lack of coordination. Noah made a mental note to go online and buy new shoes. Getting dressed quickly had always been Noah’s hidden talent. During high school, he made sure to wear a clean undershirt and only remove the top layer. He refused to let anyone see his scars. That would lead to questions where he would be forced to talk about what happened. Noah avoided talking in general and hated having to explain his scars.

  Making his way down the stairs, the first thing that Noah sensed was the fantastic smell of bacon. He could also smell other delectable aromas, but he was unsure of what they were. Walking into the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks and just admired the sight of the man standing at the stove. Noah may have let a moan escape because Oliver looked over his shoulder and flashed Noah, his brilliant smile. Oliver asked Noah to grab some coffee and have a seat. “Breakfast will be ready in five minutes.”

  Oliver went all out for Breakfast. He must have been up for hours, cooking. There was bacon, buttermilk pancakes, Colorado home fries, and cheddar & chive quiches. Looking at his incredible and rather large selection of food, Noah realized that he might be imposing on some kind of breakfast date. Noah cleared his throat. “I will get out of your hair; I appreciate your generosity.” He almost missed the look of disappointment on Oliver’s face. It flashed by so quickly, before turning into a radiating smile. “Do you have any plans for the day?” Oliver asked. Noah wanted to sound more important than he actually is, so he told Oliver that he was booked today with back to back appointments. Oliver flashed his smile again and placed the food on the table.

  Noah looked at the quantity of food once again, and couldn’t help asking, “When are your guests going to arrive?” Again, Oliver’s bright smile was back. He replied, using a southern accent, “Why, sugar tits, my spread is all for you.” Noah couldn’t hold back his smile even though he gave his best effort. It came out as a half snort and half-laugh. Oliver joined in, and Noah could not tell if Oliver was laughing at how red Noah’s face was or because he was pleased with having caught him off guard. After what seemed like an eternity of full belly laughter, both men drew in long deep breaths to settle themselves with enough composure to sit down and enjoy their morning sustenance.

  The pancakes melted in Noah’s mouth, the quiche tasted amazing, the home fries were crispy, and who doesn’t love bacon? Just as they were clearing their plates, Noah told Oliver that he would do the clean-up if Oliver would point him in the direction of the storage containers. With the breakfast leftovers put away and the last dish washed, Noah made his way to the room he slept in, and he grabbed his computer. Noah needed to catch up on all of his unanswered emails that had piled up. He kept up on his work when he was in Florida, but he still had some unfinished projects to complete. As Noah walked out of the bedroom, he looked up. Standing in his room, looking down at his phone, in nothing but his underwear, was Oliver.

  Noah froze. He must have looked like a deer in the headlights. The man had the body of a god. He had thick, beautiful, soft brown hair in all of the right places, tight washboard abs and thick broad shoulders. Noah found himself thinking about rubbing his face all over Oliver’s chest dusted with hair while his hands worshiped every one of Oliver’s thick beautiful muscles. Noah wanted to rub his hands all over Oliver’s body, and his ass was something that should have its own fan club. Oliver looked up, and the only thing that made Noah snap out of his head was the smile on Oliver’s face. Well, that and the swelling pressure in his pants.

  Oliver told Noah that he meant to jump in the shower, but he got a call from Detective Ross. He flashed Noah his smile again and said, “Clear your schedule, sugar tits; we are going downtown.” Noah was already feeling the heat from his highly inappropriate thoughts, but when Oliver called him “sugar tits,” well, that did him in. “We both need to go down to the police station on Cherokee Street to answer additional questions and give our official statements,” Oliver sighed.

  The first good mood Noah had in a very long time started to slip and fade as the seriousness of his situation returned to strike him. Realizing that he was acting like a child, forced to eat brussels sprouts, Noah lifts his head and says, “I am ready when you are. If it isn’t too much trouble, could I get your Wi-Fi password so I can take care of all the emails that have been waiting for me?” Oliver said, “I am a little crazy about my security, so my password is almost impossible to crack.”

  Oliver grabbed a card from his pants pocket and a pen out of one of his side drawers. He wrote his password down and handed Noah the card. Noah thanked him and headed downstairs to his living room. After peeking at the police activity in his house, he settled into the chair that he was in last night and signed into Oliver’s WI-FI. Waiting for his Outlook to load all of the unread emails, Noah looked at the business card sitting in his hand. He had to read the card twice. “Oliver Thaddaeus – Private Investigator.” Noah decided that he was infatuated with Oliver even more now. He had a steamy, hot body, a chest dusted in fuzzy hair, a beautiful smile, and now his first and his last name seemed incomparably incredible. Shaking his head, Noah told himself, “I am in so much trouble already. I know nothing about the man, and yet, I am willing to do things to his body that I only ever watched in porn movies.”

  Noah didn’t even know if Oliver was straight, gay, in a relationship, or even married. There was no sign of a wife or husband in the house. He didn’t see a ring on his finger. Oliver had moved into his home around the same time that Noah had moved into his. He hadn’t seen anyone else living with him. Oliver did tell him about being in a previous relationship. With all of this speculation swirling around in his head, he needed to get it together. Shaking free from all of these thoughts, Noah got his head together and started working on his email.

  Chapter 3

  Oliver Thaddeus

  It was knowing that he was able to get Noah worked up and flustered so quickly that made Oliver’s day. The guy was a live wire chocked full of nerves. He felt a sense of satisfaction, thinking of how he was able to calm him down when he is worked up. Then in a split second, he could get him worked up again. There was something about Noah that made him want to save the boy from the things that made him afraid. He felt compelled to be his protector even though he was a grown man in a hot body. When he heard Noah screaming this morning, he was afraid that someone was attacking him. Oliver never knew he could fly up the stairs as fast as he did.

  Once he found Noah was physically fine, he felt the need to soothe and calm him down. Oliver wants to know all about the terror that went on in his head. It was clear to him that Noah had been through traumatic experiences in his life. Once Noah was back to breathing fine and was answering his questions, it was exciting to see that he was sporting wood. “I particularly enjoyed the graceful way he panicked, tripped over his shoes, and then descended into a belly-flop on my hardwood floor.”

  As an investigator, he had mastered his bullshit detector and knew right away this morning at breakfast that Noah was lying about having a booked schedule. Oliver wasn’t sure why he lied to him, but it was something that he would have to explore later.

  Oliver
started to get ready for his shower. He was stripping down, just as his phone rang. It was Detective Ross calling to deliver the news that they would have to go downtown, to give their statements officially. The Detective asked if Oliver could save him a call and bring Noah with him. Oliver agreed and got off the call; he had to call Jake, his real-estate agent, and cancel their appointment for today. He had no idea how long it would take to give his statement. These things tended to ramble on.

  Jake told Oliver that he had pulled together a list of commercial properties he wanted to have him look at. Jake said that he would send it right over. Oliver let him know that he would get back to him and reschedule as soon as he knew what his schedule looked like for the rest of the week. After heading back to the shower, the sound for his email notification chimed on his phone, so his curiosity got the best of him. With his smartphone in hand, he opened the email and started looking at the property listings. As he stood there in his big boy britches, reviewing pictures of the buildings, one caught his attention. He pulled the listing up to look at other images in the listing. As his focus was solely on his phone, there was a movement in his peripherals. The process of elimination made him realize that it was Noah.

  Being the curious sort that he was, Oliver decided to see where this would go. He knew Noah was shy, but he was not going to give in. Oliver was going to make him speak first. Well, that plan went to shit. After what felt like five long, excruciating minutes, Oliver decided to look up from his phone at Noah. The look on his face was a mixture of shock and awe, it made Oliver’s whole day, and all he could do was smile. Finally, he decided to break the ice. He told Noah that he was getting in the shower when he got the call from Detective Ross. He knew what he had to say to him was going to be upsetting, so he lightened his delivery by calling him “Sugar tits.” “We are expected to provide our official statements. We will leave once I am showered and fresh.” The look on his face seemed to switch from total bliss to total annoyance.