by Sierra Dean
She leaned over the seat, her hair and face still streaked with ash. “You’re pissed at me for not telling you about how you blew someone up? Sorry, Genie, maybe I just thought that was one of those memories you were better off not having. But if we’re going to get into this, maybe you want to explain why you waited three fucking days to tell me our dead mother was still alive. You know, the mother I beheaded? Didn’t you think maybe I’d like to know about that?”
I pulled the car over to the side of the road and put it in park, then pivoted in my seat to face her. “I thought I could deal with it and leave you out of things. Last time I checked she almost murdered you, and that was with your powers. Now you’re just…” I trailed off, already hating myself for saying the words before they were even out of my mouth.
“No, go ahead, don’t let me stop you. Say what you were going to say.”
“You’re human now.”
She glared at me, and the ferocity of her expression felt like a punch in my stomach. “You know what I gave up for this,” she snarled.
“I’m sorry.”
Secret sat back in her seat and took a long, steadying breath. For a moment, or an eternity, we sat in totally silence with the two of us just feeling mutually shitty about the things we’d said. Neither Lucas nor Wilder said anything, I suspected they knew better than to get in the middle of a fight between two McQueen sisters.
“I didn’t remember what happened at the hotel until a couple days ago. And it when we were down in the basement I thought about what he’d done to Wilder, and to God knows how many others, and I realized I could channel the rage I was feeling. Rage was how I killed Morgan. The anger took me over completely, and it just became me. This time I took control of it.”
“Is that what you think you did? You controlled it?” she asked. “You can’t control something like that, Genie. It’s a power that’s so much bigger than you, so much stronger. Something like that lets you believe you’re behind the wheel, but you’ll only ever be the passenger.”
I stared out the front window and caught the reflection of animal eyes in the trees off the side of the road. Coyote, maybe, it was hard to tell from here. As if it knew it had been spotted, it turned tail and ran back into the bushes. I wanted to do the same.
“You’re wrong. Memere thinks I can control it. She wouldn’t have sent me back out here if she didn’t think I was strong enough.”
“I’m not saying you’re not powerful.” Secret sighed, and in the rearview mirror I saw her rub her eyes out of frustration or exhaustion, I wasn’t sure which. “But I’ve seen what these kinds of powers can do to someone. They’re old and unpredictable, and I worry the second you think you’ve got them under control, they’re going to turn the tables on you in an ugly way.”
“If I can put Mercy back in the ground, then it will all be worth it. It’s my fault she’s here, and I think I can do this.”
“We just saw you do it,” Wilder said quietly.
I got the sinking feeling that the moment I’d been dreading had finally arrived. He’d seen what I was truly capable of and it was making him question his desire to be with me. I’d long suspected we’d arrive at this bridge, I was just hoping I’d have a little bit longer with him first.
There’s nothing quite like seeing your girlfriend blow a guy up to make a man question his interest in a long-term commitment.
If he watched me do the same thing to my own mother that would probably be the thing that burned our little relationship bridge to the ground. But I couldn’t let that stop me. Love was love, and it made the world glowy and bright and wonderful. But homicidal mothers were something that needed to take priority.
Man, my life was fucked up.
When it seemed that Secret had nothing more to say about my methods, and no one else in the car had anything to add, I pulled back onto the highway and we drove back to New Orleans in a silence so thick I could have chewed on it.
Every mile we got closer to my house, the tension mounted, until we pulled into the driveway and I could barely breathe I was so anxious. Mercy knew where I was now, and if she wanted me dead, this would be the most logical place to come.
The light in my living room was on, a thin glowing sliver between the curtains. I knew Magnolia wasn’t here because we’d told her to stay away, but someone else was definitely inside and making no secret about it.
“Let me go in first,” Wilder said. He got out of the car as soon as it was in park and headed to the back kitchen entrance. I followed behind him, with Secret and Lucas drawing up the rear.
The door was unlocked, and Wilder was able to enter easily. I waited on the threshold until he was well into the kitchen and he stopped, staring at something in the living room, then glanced back towards me.
I came inside and stood next to him.
Ben was sitting on the couch, facing us, his head down. He was so still it looked as if he wasn’t breathing, and for a moment I wondered if maybe she had killed him just to prove to me there was nothing she wouldn’t do.
He hefted a heavy sigh, and my heart started beating again.
He was alive.
I was furious with him, but also relieved to my very soul that he was unharmed.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” His head flopped back on the sofa, and he stared up at the ceiling, barely acknowledging my existence. I gave him a once over to satisfy myself that he was okay. There were no obvious wounds, no signs of blood or bruising. If Mercy had done something to him, I couldn’t see it on his body.
“Ben, look at me.”
He continued to stare at the ceiling, then dropped his head back down and met my gaze. His eyes were rimmed with red and it appeared as if he’d been crying. A lot.
So Mercy had done a number on him emotionally rather than physically.
The mean part of my brain was glad she had managed to show him her true colors, but the sisterly part of me wanted to make my twin feel better. I had never tried to forge a connection with my mother because I’d believed what Secret had told me about her.
Ben had obviously hoped for something different.
“I thought she cared about me,” he said. “I thought she meant it when she said we’d be together, and that things would be different, and we’d be a family.”
I sat down in the other loveseat, far enough away I could move if this was a ploy and he was planning to attack me, but close enough I could better see the expression on his face. He looked crushed. Heartbroken.
“You already had a family.”
He swallowed hard, and after an agonizingly long beat, he looked at me again. His expression was one of such intense guilt and anguish I could feel the emotions for myself, deep in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t put a lot of stock in the idea of twins sharing emotions or thoughts, but in that instant I could feel every single ounce of his pain as if it were my own. It made me want to cry and vomit in equal measure.
“What were you thinking?” I asked him.
“I don’t know.”
I shook my head firmly. “No, you can’t keep saying that. You can’t run off with her, then show up here and not have any answers. You knew what she’d done, what she was capable of, and you went with her anyway. Because of what? Love? Devotion? That’s some serious bullshit, Ben, and you know it. So tell me everything now, or get out.”
It hurt me to say it, because all I wanted to do was fold him into my arms and hug him until his pain was gone, but I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive him for this betrayal. He had a family that cared about him, and had every luxury in the world at his fingertips. Was he seriously so jealous about Callum making me Apha over him that he would stoop to this level?
“She wants to kill me,” I reminded him. “And you went with her anyway.”
“She wants to hurt her.” He pointed at Secret.
“I feel like maybe this is a good time to remind you that I’m also your sister,” Secret retorted. “And it do
esn’t feel great when your family bands together to kill you. Just FYI. That bit of knowledge might come in handy down the line sometime.” She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “You know, in case you do something totally moronic to alienate your entire pack.”
Secret crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall that divided the kitchen from the dining room. I knew her well enough to know that this was her version of being gentle.
“Mercy promised me she didn’t want to kill anyone,” he said.
Secret snorted.
“How stupid are you?” Wilder asked, giving voice to the thing we were all thinking right then. “You saw what she did to The Den. You heard your own sisters tell you what she was capable of, and you took her at her word? You’re a special kind of idiot, aren’t you?”
Ben’s expression changed from one of sadness to one of sharp anger in the flash of an instant and he snarled at Wilder, “Don’t you dare speak to me like you know me. I’m still a prince to you.”
“You put my Alpha and my whole pack in danger. I don’t respect your fucking title anymore,” Wilder replied.
The whole room went dead quiet. There might have been other occasions where I would have defended Ben’s status, but I agreed with Wilder here. Ben was a prince by birth, but what he’d done over the last day showed that his allegiances weren’t to the pack. They were to Ben. That was lone wolf behavior, and lone wolves forfeit any of their pack rights.
Everyone in the house was a werewolf—or had once been, in Secret’s case—and they knew the weight of those words better than most. Lucas, especially, as a king, would be the one most likely to put Wilder in his place, but he said nothing.
No one was on Ben’s side here.
Callum wouldn’t be either.
My brother had fucked up in an irrevocable way. Which made him a dangerous unknown, because I still wasn’t sure whose side he was on, beyond looking out for himself above all others.
There was a chance he was here at Mercy’s request and was just lulling me into complacency so she could strike.
I didn’t think he was a good enough actor for that. Ben tended to wear everything he was thinking and feeling on his sleeve, and there wasn’t a lot of nuance to any of it. Subtlety was an art form my brother had never learned. It was the one thing he and Secret had in common.
Ben, knowing he was outnumbered and wouldn’t gain anything by fighting with Wilder, looked back at me. “She told me she wanted us to know the truth about everything. Mercy said Callum has lied to us for years, and if I went with her she would tell me who our father was, and why she left us when she did. She swore to me she didn’t want to hurt you, but she wanted you to know the truth.” Then he looked at Secret. “And she said we should stay the hell away from her.”
“Yeah. She would,” Secret replied.
“Can’t you see she’s just manipulating you?” I asked him.
“Don’t you want to know?” Ben looked anguished again, and while I felt sympathetic for him, my patience for his naivety was wearing thin. “I want to know who my father is.”
“I know who my father is. He’s the man who raised us, who gave us a home and loved us. Callum McQueen is the only father I care to know.”
“He sent you away,” Ben retorted. “Shipped you off into the swamp, away from everything you knew.”
“He was protecting me. He helped me. I wasn’t alone out there.”
Ben shook his head. “You don’t get it. Callum just uses us when he needs us, that’s how it’s always been. When you were gone he treated me like I was going to be the next Alpha, taught me everything he knew, and then you showed up again, and suddenly it was like I didn’t exist.”
“That’s what this all comes down to, isn’t it? Mercy made you feel special, and you were so fucking jealous of me you would listen to anyone who told you that you were better.”
He was quiet, and I knew I’d nailed it.
“You’re ridiculous.” I lifted my hands to the ceiling in exasperation. “I love you so goddamn much I can’t even hate you right now, but don’t you see what you’ve done? She came back to kill me. To kill Secret. And your desperate need to be the best twin means you helped her. Your need to be seen was more important than your family.” I saw he was about to argue and waved my hand to silence him. “No, don’t try to tell me she’s family. She abandoned us, she tried to murder our sister. There’s no excuse for any of this, Ben. You’re pathetic.”
I hadn’t meant to dig into him so ferociously, but he should really count himself lucky I wasn’t beating him senseless him right now. He’d fucked up in a serious way, and while I was being honest when I said I didn’t hate him, I knew for a fact I’d never trust him again.
Ben had lost his place in my life for this.
He might have very well lost his place in the pack, too.
Ben lowered his head, looking at his clasped hands where they rested between his knees. He was the perfect picture of guilt, but I couldn’t help think it might all still be an act, and even the thought made me ill.
“Tell me where she is.”
“She wanted to hurt Secret, but she couldn’t get to her. She knew hurting you would hurt her most, but she couldn’t get to you either. So she’s going for the next best thing.”
Secret let out a little gasp, and Lucas swore under his breath. They seemed to have figured it out before I was up to speed.
“What? Where is she?” I asked, not sure if I was directing the question to Ben or to Secret and Lucas.
“New York,” Ben said. “She went to New York.”
Before I could even ask why, Secret said, “There’s only one thing in this world I love as much as you. She’s going after Desmond.”
Chapter Thirty
Mercy was on the hunt for Secret’s husband.
Of course.
If she couldn’t get to Secret or me directly, lashing out at the most important person in Secret’s life was the perfect solution.
But if Mercy thought getting to Secret and I was difficult, she had no clue what was waiting for her in Manhattan. Desmond wasn’t just some lowly werewolf. He was the King of the East now. He was well protected at all times, and wouldn’t be waiting in the sniper’s eye ready to go down easy.
Still, I didn’t put much past Mercy when it came to getting what she wanted, and she had to know Secret and I would be hot on her heels once Ben cracked and told us what her plan was.
Which she had to know he would.
If I wasn’t so furious with Ben I would feel bad for him. He’d played right into her hands, and she had manipulated him perfectly. He’d done absolutely everything she wanted him to, and now we were going to step in line for her. I hated that I was going to do exactly what she wanted, but what other option was there?
We were waiting on the tarmac at Lakefront Airport as the private jet Secret had called for was refueling and ready to take us to New York. One of the many benefits of being a queen, and married to the man who had inherited Lucas Rain’s billions, Secret had a lot of very fancy things available to her on call.
Right now she was pacing a few feet away, speaking to Desmond on her cell phone in hushed tones. She was quiet, but not so quiet I couldn’t hear what she was saying.
“I know you think you’re safe, but could you please just take Dominick and go back to the apartment for now? I don’t like the idea of you just being out in the open.” Dominick was Desmond’s brother, and like Wilder, was a bodyguard.
I leaned against Wilder, who was keeping an eye on the open tarmac as if he expected Mercy might come for us here, rather than waiting for us to stumble into her obvious trap.
For now, though, it was just us: Secret, Lucas, Wilder, and myself. Magnolia had damn near insisted on coming with us, but I would only be worried about her. As it was I was already worried about everyone with me.
Worry seemed to be the new constant in my life: worry for myself, worry for my family, worry for my pack.
I alm
ost missed the days when my biggest concern was wondering whether or not I should join one of the Tulane sororities. Ah, those were such youthful, innocent times.
Secret came back to us, putting her phone into her pocket. “Stubborn ass,” she grumbled.
“Now you know what it’s like for us every time you barrel head-first into trouble,” Lucas said. It was a line so smoothly delivered it took us all a moment to realize how badly he’d just burned her.
She blinked at him. “You’re so lucky that I’m still in awe of you being back from the dead. Desmond is still refusing to go into hiding.”
“You shouldn’t be surprised.”
“I’m not, but that doesn’t make it less annoying.”
“Would you go into hiding?” he asked her.
Secret gave him a look that plainly said, have you met me? All of us knew Secret would never back away from a challenge or a threat. None of us were the type to cower with our tails between our legs. It wasn’t how things worked with alpha wolves.
Or McQueens in general.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said with a sigh.
Secret lead the way to the plane, and I wasn’t so wrapped up in my own life-threatening drama that I could be at least a little impressed with the red carpet treatment. It wasn’t my first time being on a private jet, but the last time we’d been on one Secret had just killed Mercy. Now we were heading back into the fray to kill her again.
One of these days I might get to be on a private jet and be on my way somewhere cool, like an island resort, or even just a nice one-on-one vacation with Wilder. But no, it seemed almost inevitable that the only time I’d get to travel in style would be when my life or the lives of others was on the line.
Which meant it wasn’t really an ideal time to ask if they had any booze on board.
I sat next to Wilder on one of the sofa-style seats in the back, while Secret and Lucas sat across from each other in large leather chairs. I curled against Wilder’s side, taking deep breaths, letting his familiar scent calm me.
“I wish we were still home,” I told him.