Defiant

by Ursula Sinclair

  I broke away from our kiss; I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t get enough air. But, both of our breaths were coming in pants, now. My eyes were closed again as I lost myself in the sensation of feeling full with him inside me, holding me, completing me. I could feel the sweat covering my skin, I could feel the same on his arms, wherever I touched. But, the sound of our lovemaking, the moans, the air leaving our lungs, our bodies colliding is what I focused on most—the ultimate pleasure, the sensations. Dachs took us to a height I’d never visited before and didn’t want to leave.

  Our movements became faster, our breathing harsher; we were both covered in sweat now and were so close to that oblivion. He was holding back but so was I, holding on to this feeling for as long as I could, this joining of our bodies. Finally, we could stem this avalanche no longer, he groaned as his body jerked. My core clenched at the same time and together we soared over the edge.

  As our bodies joined, so did our juices. We kept moving even after we were both spent, milking every last drop. We stilled, and our racing hearts slowed. I opened my eyes, and he smiled just before he kissed me again. This one long and deep as our tongues joined once more.

  “Wrap your legs around me,” he said.

  I did and lay my head against his shoulder. I could feel his cock soften and as he stood he slid out of me, but I didn’t mind. He walked us to my bedroom and lay me down on the bed, coming down beside me. I pulled the covers over our naked bodies, wrapped in his arms, and fully satisfied; I fell asleep.

  I opened my eyes to the morning light and smiled. I could feel Dachs lips against the side of my neck. His strong arms still around me. Without turning around I said, “It’s about time I woke up with you in my bed.” I didn’t see it but I could feel his smile.

  He turned me over until I lay on my side, facing him. The smile I sensed was plastered on his face, but there was a touch of sadness in his eyes. It hadn’t been there last night as we made love, but I suspected there would be times when its presence would be there. My baby had been through a lot, and it wasn’t exactly over. But, I would do what I can to keep that sadness away.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he said.

  I smiled. “Morning, handsome. Are you going to make this a habit?”

  He held onto one of my locks and twirled it around his finger, something he’d done last night too. “Maybe. If you want me too.”

  I couldn’t seem to stop smiling as I leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss.

  We were both just staring at each other and grinning like a couple of idiots but it felt so good.

  “I’ve got to get up and go. I’ve got to go home, take a shower and get to class, then work,” he finally said. “I was waiting for you to wake up, with a little help.” He winked.

  I knew he was in a technical school and was pretty proud of him. I’d always known there was more to him than his damn tats. My gaze moved to the HH on the side of his neck, and I leaned forward and licked it. “You know I now claim these as mine. We were destined to be.”

  He chuckled. “I’ll take your word for it.” Dachs sat up and hesitated, glancing down to meet my gaze. “My life changed when this little persistence black girl decided to sit near me.”

  “That’s right and what I say goes.”

  “Do you have class today?” he asked.

  “No, tomorrow. Are you sure about going to class today?”

  “I’ll be fine. It’s what my mom would want me to do. I’ve got a test today. But, maybe I won’t go to work. I’ll see if I can trade shifts with a friend. I need to go see my dad. I’ll do that after class. Come with me. I want him to meet you.”

  “Are you sure it’s the right time?”

  “No time like the present. I’ll come meet you after class about 11:00, and then, we can take the T.”

  “Ah, that’s fine but I can drive.”

  He chuckled again. I loved to hear even that small note of joy from him.

  “Let me guess.” He stared at me for a minute. “A Mercedes.”

  I sat up and punched his arm. “No, BMW.”

  His laughter deepened. “So, why was it every time I saw you you were either taking the T or Uber?”

  “Why do you think?”

  He frowned then smiled. “You’re a stalker.”

  “It worked.”

  He pulled me to him and kissed me again. “I really want to keep doing that, but if I do we might never get out of bed.”

  “And that’s bad…”

  “I need to get my Master Welder’s Certification to make more money. I’m sure my savings is only enough for the retainer of that lawyer you hired for me. I also need to help my dad rebuild the shop...now that Mom is gone.” He combed his fingers through his hair.

  That sobered me up. I placed my hand on his face. “I’m sorry, babe, so sorry about your mom.”

  “I know.” He covered my hand with his palm. “Thanks.”

  I took a deep breath. I’d planned on paying for Donald’s services. He was one of the best and didn’t come cheap and I knew Dachs would never be able to have access to someone like Donald, but there was one thing I knew about my Dachs. Well, maybe two things, one he was mine, and two, he had his pride. “I’ll make sure Donald gives you a discount.”

  “Don’t worry about it. He and I already discussed his fees.”

  “Really, what’s he charging you?”

  “He’s giving me a flat rate, but even as expensive as it is, he’s still giving me something off, and I need him.”

  “Okay, good.”

  He rose from the bed and stretched. His back was too me, and damn if I didn’t lick my lips at the sight of all that sleek muscle before me. I itched to get him back into bed, so I could trace all those nooks and crannies with my tongue. But then, he turned around. He was sporting a semi and as my eyes were riveted on his cock, it jerked.

  “Don’t look at me like that.”

  I placed one hand under my head and shifted the covers so he could see my body. “Like what?” I asked all wide eyed and innocent like.

  “That. That right there.” He began to back out of the room since his clothes were all out in the other room, where we’d left them last night. “I’ll be back about 11:00 to take you home.”

  “And, I’m driving.”

  “Sure, whatever.”

  Then, he rushed out of the room as I laughed because now, he was wearing a full on woody.

  “That’s gotta hurt,” I yelled after him.

  “I’ll live,” he yelled back.”

  31

  Dachs

  I couldn’t focus on class. My project for final certification was basically done; all I had to do was make it pretty for the professor who loved aesthetics. One by one, I yanked my fingers free from the gloves and tossed them down beside me. I stared up at the bookshelf, seven foot high by four foot wide; it was meant to be an industrial piece created with steel and fire. Once powder-coated, it would look like any other furniture piece meant strictly for function. I skimmed my palms across the joints, smooth as a baby’s bottom. A snort escaped me; I am good at what I know. Still, something was missing—my own special touch.

  I reached beneath my apron and dug my cell free from my jean’s pocket. There were still a couple hours before I met Harper. I set my phone on a shelf and squatted to go through the wire and metal scraps.

  She claimed my HH tattoo as her own, I would make it so. Laying out the spare pieces in front of me, I created a design integrating the letters and using the last of a roll of thin wire, I sculpted a small flower connecting the harsh lines. I lifted my gloves to put them on.

  “What are you up too, Mr. Neumann?” My teacher, and Master welder, stopped beside me. She held a clipboard in her hands.

  “Besides paint, this looks like a finished piece.”

  Of course, it did. I already knew my job, understood the craft. All I needed was the actual certificate. In the past I would ignore her. The woman clearly wasn’t white. Her brown skin and t
ight curls could have been a mix of many ethnicities. Not so long ago her very existence was against my principles. I straightened and peered down at the much shorter woman. It was the first time I’d ever really looked at her. There was a kindness in her features I’d never noticed; a hint of a smile lifted the corners of her mouth.

  “I was thinking of adding a little something extra. Just because it’s functional furniture doesn’t mean it can’t be pretty.” Lord, I said those words out loud. I sucked in a deep breath, prepared for the laughter I was sure would come—the ridicule of making something seemingly more feminine.

  “Well, there are quite a few women in the industry now.” She nodded. “I can attest to that.”

  No mockery. The more I learned about other races, the stronger my realization that I was a fool. I wasted so many damn years. A deep exhale blew through my mouth.

  “It’s your final project and twenty-five percent of your grade. You already completed your apprenticeship. Mr. Neumann, I do believe you did things a bit backwards.” A soft chuckle erupted from her. “I look forward to seeing your final piece.” She scribbled something on her notepad and ambled away.

  It seemed I was always doing things a bit off. I grabbed my cell to check the time. There was no time to finish; I would have to complete the shelf in a few days. As long as the project was turned in on time, then there would be no worries. I cleared my workspace and locked my tools away. Harper was waiting for me.

  We sat in her car, staring at the boarded up picture window of my family’s pierogi shop. Soot covered the once pristine bricks of the storefront. My mother took pride in our place of business. Thankfully the fire didn’t make it past the entrance and the damage looked worse than it actually was. Mostly cosmetic, the water did more harm to the building than the fire.

  Because my mother took the brunt of the Molotov Cocktail.

  I know I needed to move, open the door, get out the car, but that day was playing on a loop in my head and left me incapacitated.

  A gentle touch on my hand took me out of my headspace and claimed my attention. I glanced down to find Harper’s hand covering mine. I followed the length of her arm up to her face with my gaze.

  She freed her hand and cupped my jaw. “Are you alright?”

  I would never be alright. I could only get used to my new normal. “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t look fine.” She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head, her dreads brushing her shoulder.

  I opened my mouth to speak when there was a knock on my window. I twisted to find my dad staring at us through the glass. His eyes wide, he held his hand up mid-knock. I motioned for him to move and opened the door. Harper opened hers at the same time.

  “You have been down here a long time. I wasn’t sure if it was you…” My dad’s gaze kept drifting to Harper. “You brought company?”

  There was no need to hide my relationship with Harper. “She is my girlfriend.” It was hard to control the hint of a smile sending the corners of my mouth upward. The tension in his shoulders eased. It felt good to say those words out loud.

  My dad was quiet for a long time. He leaned into me. “Son, I thought you—ah—she is…”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Neumann.” Harper held out her hand to my father.

  He took it, warmly covering her palm with both hands. “It is mine, the pleasure.” There was just a hint of Eastern European accent to my dad’s words. “Come up. I have lunch waiting.” He moved away toward the alley.

  I took Harper’s hand and followed my old man to the entrance to the upper apartment. On the landing that led to the second floor the scent of smoke lingered in the air. Peering through the doorway that led to the kitchen, the room was immaculate as always. I navigated the narrow stairway, pulling Harper behind me.

  In the apartment, the kitchen table was laden with food. “Sit down.” My dad waved his hands down, motioning toward the seats. “It has been a long time since Dachs has sat at this table.” A thread of sadness was clear in his tone.

  “He’s here now.” Harper inserted a vein of cheerfulness into her voice.

  “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure how to maintain my relationship with my father with both of us knowing I was the reason my mother was dead.

  “He is.” As if speaking to the room in general. “Mama would be happy.” My dad sighed as he took a seat.

  “I can help with the funeral.” I awkwardly blurted out before dropping into a chair. I know my father wouldn’t accept my help, but I had to try one more time.

  “No need. Arrangements were made a long time ago for both your mother and me. Eat.” My dad pushed a dish in mine and Harper’s direction. “And, tell me how you two met.”

  For the first time since all the bullshit started, I saw my father smile.

  32

  Harper

  The wind tried to whip my locks around, but I had them braided together so it was a losing battle. Instead, the chill seeped through my coat, and I shivered. Dachs wrapped his arm around me as I stood at the edge of the lake beside him and his father. We were saying goodbye to the woman who’d borne him. They flung her ashes into the wind and it picked up the remains, carrying it over the water. As the sunlight hit the particles, they sparkled with warmth. Still, I felt the pain of both men as I held Dachs waist. I regretted that I’d never get to meet this woman. I wanted to tell her ‘thank you.’ At his core, Dachs was a good person, and that was his mother’s doing. He’d told me that more than once, so did his father.

  That day Dachs took me home with him to meet his father was very healing for them both. I know his father was both shocked and pleased to see me, a person of another race by his son’s side. His smiles were warm and welcoming. When he’d asked how we’d met Dachs said, “She stalked me.”

  I lightly slapped his arm. “Okay, well kinda, we kinda stalked each other.”

  His father chuckled.

  “That’s true, until I wore her down,” Dachs said, squeezing my hand.

  His father told stories of Dachs when he was younger, even pulling out the baby pictures. I laughed to see the naked two-year-old, blond-haired boy hugging his mother and smiling as he pulled her into the tub. Dachs was the splitting image of his mother with her eyes. Both Dachs and his father laughed too at the memories. I felt I got a glimpse at the woman who’d raised him and the man who’d fathered him. In the end, Dachs had been true to who he was. His father had forgiven him, and hopefully with my help, Dachs would forgive himself and move forward.

  Hand in hand we walked back to the cars. His dad had driven up separately from us. Dachs and I would head back to Boston right now, but his dad would stay in the small town for the night. Dachs drove my car the two hour trip back since I’d driven us out. He was quiet on the return drive, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. He kept our fingers entwined and every so often, he’d rub his thumb against my palm. When he did speak, it was about his mom and me.

  “I should have done a lot of things differently,” he said. “Mom would have liked you. I’m sorry she never got a chance to meet you.” He raised my hand and kissed my knuckles. “No. She would have loved you.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him I would have loved her too as I loved her son. But I didn’t. I was sure Dachs loved me, but it was something he had to figure out for himself. If he didn’t and soon…well, I’d just have to tell him. For now, I replied, “I know I would have loved her too. I adore your dad. You’re a lot like him.”

  “I’m not nearly the man he is, but I’ll get there. They both hated that I was part of NMAWP.”

  Dachs didn’t refer to the men and women as the brotherhood or the members as his brothers and sisters any more—kinda hard to do when they killed your mother and then, tried to blame it on you. “But, you’re out of all of that now, and the police are gathering up all the members involved.”

  “They’ve found everyone, except Bruno.”

  “Still no word on him?”<
br />
  “None. I don’t want to think about him or them right now.” He glanced at me and smiled. “I want to think about you—about us.”

  “So, I’m your girlfriend?” I asked. It didn’t escape my notice how he’d introduced me to his dad.

  “Yes.”

  “And, so we’re clear, you are my boyfriend.” It wasn’t a question and by his grin, he knew it.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Are you…are you at all worried?”

  “Hell no. Let any of those fuckers come for me or you. You’re mine.”

  I smiled. “Goes both ways, babe. No one better mess with you either.”

  It was his turn to smile. “Tell me about your dad.”

  One reason we were headed back sooner was to have dinner with my dad later tonight. “Are you scared to meet him?”

  “Not really.”

  I chuckled. “Don’t worry, my dad is a fair man. He will treat you as you treat him. As long as you respect me and make me happy, he’ll be happy.”

  He glanced at me. “Are you happy?”

  “What do you think?”

  “Like I told my dad, I think you stalked me enough to wear me down. But I’m not complaining. If that’s what makes you happy…I should do my part to make sure you are satisfied and don’t go stalking anyone else.” He glanced at me and winked.

  “I got what I wanted.” And, I did. I guess I’d always been spoiled like that.

  “Do you always get your way?”

  “Are you reading my mind? With you, I better.”

  “What have you told him about me?”

  I’d thought about that long and hard, what to tell my dad. But, he and I never lied to each other. Besides, my father was well informed, and I’m sure he already got phone calls from his lawyer as well as the chief of police about my involvement with Dachs. So, when I’d called him to tell him I had someone I wanted him to meet—he already knew. I told him everything. Well, everything he needed to know. Was he happy about it? Not at first. But I reminded him about the woman he married and how I felt about that, and he shut up. I’ve been nothing but respectful to Teresa. I expected the same consideration from my father. To at least give my choice a chance.