by Noelle Adams
Sometimes she wondered if he was jealous that she was making more money than he made from sales at his father’s car dealership.
“That’s good,” Josh said with the same feigned interest he’d always used. “Real good. Dating yet?”
“Thinking about it. Have to find someone I’m interested in first.”
Josh was dating. He seemed serious about Gina Burkhardt, who’d just graduated from high school two years ago and currently worked in a beauty salon in a neighboring town. She was a nice girl. Madeline couldn’t think of anything wrong with her. She wasn’t much of a thinker, but that was probably a benefit for a girl who dated Josh.
If they were happy, she was glad for them. But that didn’t mean she wanted to have a heart-to-heart with Josh about their relationship.
“Anyway, I better get going,” she added quickly before he could say anything else that annoyed her. “Good to see you, Josh.” She started to walk so he couldn’t extend the conversation.
He called out, “See you!” to her back.
She made a face at the words, although they were perfectly harmless. They irritated her just the same.
Unfortunately, she made the face right as Ken stepped out of the town offices, which were located on the corner of Main and Monroe.
He saw her. She knew he did. He’d had on his normal expression of laid-back good nature, but his mouth turned down into a frown when he saw her. “What’s the matter?” he asked as she approached him.
She wasn’t walking toward him on purpose, of course. That was just the direction she was heading.
She composed herself into a more neutral look. “Nothing,” she said, feeling ridiculously flustered at his sudden appearance. And also at how hot he looked in his uniform. She wasn’t sure why the brown-and-tan polyester struck her as hot. It definitely shouldn’t have been. But her heart jumped a few times just the same. “Why do you ask?”
“Because you looked like you wanted to shake something.” Ken’s blue eyes scanned her face closely. Then his gaze flickered back over her shoulder to the sidewalk behind her. “Ah. Never mind. I see what the problem was.”
She turned back to see Josh walking away in the other direction. “He was fine. Just being friendly.”
“Uh-huh.”
“He was. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Didn’t he?”
“Maybe he kind of made me feel like I was a little kid. I hate it when guys patronize me.”
“Between the two of you,” Ken drawled, “I don’t think you’re the one who should be treated like a little kid.”
The words surprised her, making her giggle softly. Then she said in a different tone, “I shouldn’t get so annoyed by him. He is what he’s always been. It’s just that I spent so many years, swallowing over the things that bothered me, and once I had finally admitted them, they just... really started bugging me. Like all the years of repression exploded.”
“Sounds pretty natural. Not sure how you were as patient as you were for so long.”
“Me either, if you want to know the truth. But I guess we fool ourselves all the time.” She sighed. “When it comes to love, I mean.”
“Yeah.”
She slanted him a quick look, wondering what he was thinking, wondering if he was remembering kissing her the way she was remembering it herself.
He cleared his throat. “You got plans for tonight?”
She blinked. “What?”
“You heard me, I think.”
“Well, yeah, but... but... I’m confused. Do you want to date me?” She sounded too shocked. She really needed to work on that. Other women weren’t astounded like that when a guy happened to be interested.
“Didn’t say that. Just asked if you had plans.”
“Oh. Well, I don’t.”
“Supermoon tonight. I was thinking ’bout hiking up Canterbury Hill to get a good look at it.”
“Hiking in the middle of the night?” Her eyes were wide now. “That doesn’t sound very safe.”
He shrugged and gave her a quirk of a smile. “I thought you said you wanted to be a little bad. Didn’t you mean it?”
The truth was she wasn’t entirely sure if she meant it or not, but she could hardly admit it to Ken. “Maybe.”
“So come with me. Might be fun.”
She hesitated. “I’m not sure...”
“Not expecting anything but a hike. You don’t have to kiss me again... unless you really want to.” His blue eyes got hot for just a moment before the mood passed.
The heat snatched her breath. Her heartbeat throbbed in her ears. “So you don’t want to date me?”
“Seems like you’re not too comfortable with that idea, so I’m telling you that’s fine with me. We can have some fun without dating.” He paused, still watching her closely like he was trying to read her reaction. “No one else has to know.”
“Really? We could keep it secret?”
“Of course we could. I’m not a big fan of gossip, and I try to be careful about that kind of thing because of my girls.”
That made sense to her. In a small town like Azalea, rumors flew thick and fast, and it could possibly make things awkward for the daughters of a single father.
“Okay,” she said, coming to a decision before she was aware of it.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
“Okay you want to take a hike with me tonight or okay you want to keep it secret?”
“Both. If that’s all right with you.” She peered at his face. She was confused and flustered about this whole thing, but she was also incredibly attracted to him. She wanted to see what happened here, as long as it was safe. As long as the whole town didn’t know it was happening.
The stakes in that case would be way too high. She’d never be comfortable trying out something new.
But she also didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
He didn’t look hurt at all. He gave her an intimate little smile. “Sounds just about right to me. I’ll meet you in the parking lot of the park at ten.”
“Okay.” She couldn’t believe she was agreeing to such a crazy outing with the county sheriff. What the hell was she thinking? But she’d wanted to feel free, and this was helping her do it. “See you then.”
KEN WASN’T SURE HOW he’d gotten the courage to suggest night hiking to Madeline. He hadn’t even been thinking about it. He’d been telling himself to play it cool and see if she made any moves.
Instead, as soon as he saw her that day, he burst out with a half-formed offer. He couldn’t believe she’d actually said yes.
Sure, part of him would love to take her out on a real date. Have her take him seriously. Romance her the way she deserved. But he was a pretty good judge of people, and Madeline was definitely skittish. If the only way she was comfortable spending time with him was in secret, then he would be perfectly content with that.
Maybe not perfectly—but mostly—content. Happier than he expected to be.
He felt like a teenage boy all day, squirming with excitement about getting together with her tonight.
He took a shower and shaved again before he dressed in jeans, hiking boots, and a flannel shirt over a black T-shirt. It didn’t feel like a cold night, but it might be brisk in the dark. He looked at himself in the mirror before he left, wondering what Madeline really thought of him. He didn’t look anything like Josh Cantor (the asshole). He was a little too old for her. He figured he was smart enough, but he’d never been academically inclined. Madeline was brilliant and beautiful. She could have anyone she wanted.
He had no idea why she had agreed to go hiking with him.
But that kiss... that had been something else. And it hadn’t been one-sided.
Maybe that blazing chemistry was enough, even without a lot else in common between them.
For whatever reason, she’d said yes, and he wasn’t going to waste his opportunity.
He arrived about ten minutes early in the parking lot of the small
park by a lake that allowed access to nearby Canterbury Hill. No one else was there at this time of night. He sat in his pickup truck and waited seven minutes until Madeline’s little sedan pulled into the lot and parked directly beside him.
He got out and walked around her car so he could help her out.
She was dressed in jeans and an unzipped hoodie with a ribbed shirt beneath it that clung to her breasts in a tantalizing way. “Have you done this before?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Hiked in the dark? Sure.”
“And taken a girl?”
“Nope. Never done that before.”
“Well, I’m counting on you to keep me safe from any wild animals or vampires that might be lurking in the dark.” Her smile was warm and clever.
It made him laugh. “You got it, baby. I’ll keep you safe.”
He wasn’t sure where the “baby” had come from. It had just slipped out. She didn’t react to it or look shocked or annoyed, so he figured it was okay.
He took her hand as they started to walk, and she didn’t seem to mind that either.
AN HOUR LATER, THEY’D made it to the top of the hill and found a clearing with a great view of the clear sky, bright stars, and enormous full moon.
Madeline was thrilled with the view. Thrilled with the night air and fresh scent of trees and dirt. And thrilled with Ken’s relaxed companionship. He was easy and funny and thoughtful, and she felt safe with him even in the dark. When they got to the top, he pulled a blanket out of the backpack he’d been carrying and spread it out so they could sit down.
They lay on their backs and stared up, and Madeline felt for a few minutes like a happy child getting a special outing past her bedtime.
It was a silly thought, but she couldn’t shake it off until she turned to smile at Ken. Only to be hit with an intense wave of attraction at the sight of his big body, square jaw, and strong hands.
She didn’t feel much like a kid after that.
“Pretty nice, huh?” he said.
“It’s amazing. Do you come up here a lot?”
“Not as often as I’d like. Usually I’m too tired to go out at night.” He paused, his blue eyes glinting in the bright light of the moon. “I guess that makes me sound old.”
“No. It makes you sound like an adult. To tell you the truth, I go to bed pretty early myself.”
“Well, that’s not surprising. You’re basically doing two jobs, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” She sighed and stared back up at the sky. “It’s a lot.”
“Why not quit the library? I can’t believe you really need that money since the flower shop has taken off the way it has.”
“Yeah. I mean, no. I don’t need the money. I just...”
“You just what?”
She glanced over and saw that he had his head turned to watch her. His eyes were steady, like he was really listening. Like he wanted to hear what she said. That gave her the push to admit, “Maybe it sounds weird, but I don’t trust it. The success. It happened so quickly. It was such a fluke. People work their whole lives with just as much skill and talent as we have, and they don’t find this kind of success. So I don’t trust it. I’m afraid it won’t last. So the library is like... like a safety net.”
“How long do you think you’ll need the safety net?”
“I don’t know.”
He turned slightly so he could stroke her cheek gently with his fingers. The touch was featherlight. Delicious. “Every time I see you, you seem more tired.”
“Really? Is it that obvious?”
“To most people? Probably not. I’ve just noticed.”
Her heart gave a funny little jump at the words, although they were spoken in such a casual tone that it was hard to take them too seriously. He probably hadn’t taken special notice of her. He was just an observant man.
“I thought maybe it was because of the breakup, but now I’m wondering if you’re really just tired.”
“I am tired. The breakup upset me, but not... not...” She flicked him a quick look before she continued, “Not as much as I would have expected.”
“That’s good then.”
“Is it? To tell you the truth, it makes me feel kind of guilty. Nine years of a relationship and I’m mostly just relieved that it’s over.”
“There’s nothing to feel guilty about. You did everything you could to make the relationship work. Even I could see how much you gave—and as far as I could tell, you didn’t get all that much back. Most people would have given up on it long before you did.” He shook his head and looked away, making it seem like the last words were spoken to himself. “I never did understand why the fool didn’t marry you. I mean, what the hell was he waiting for?”
A little laugh spilled out unexpectedly at his dry tone. She wasn’t sure why, but his words and disbelieving tone were making her feel better than anything had in a long time. “I never understood it either, but now I’m glad it didn’t happen. It was hard enough to end a long-term relationship. If it was a marriage, it would have been even messier. In the end, I’m glad I wasn’t... tied to him in that way.”
“Yeah. But still... I could never understand what his problem was. Sometimes I wondered if you were the one who wasn’t sure you wanted it. That made more sense to me.”
“Why?” She frowned, glancing over at him again. She’d been mostly staring up at the sky since it seemed safer somehow. Less intimate than holding his gaze. “Did you think I’m not into marriage or something?”
“No. Not at all. I mean, it’s fine if you aren’t, but that’s not what I mean. I just mean that it made more sense if you were the one who wasn’t sure about him. I couldn’t imagine why in the world the man wouldn’t be absolutely sure of you.”
She caught the nuance of the dry comment, and her chest clenched in response. It could pretty easily go to a girl’s head. A man making it seem like he couldn’t see any way that another man wouldn’t want her. “Well, he wasn’t,” she managed to say in a tone as light and easy as his. “He promised we’d get married eventually, but he kept saying the timing wasn’t right. God, I was stupid. I know perfectly well that a guy who keeps stalling like that means he’s not all in. I mean, it’s a surefire red flag. But I kept making excuses and convincing myself there were reasons. It makes me cringe to think about it.”
“You shouldn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong except give him the benefit of the doubt when he didn’t deserve it.”
“Maybe. But if I’d been smarter, I would have realized five years ago that he was taking the relationship because it was easy, but he only wanted it on his terms. Now I wonder if he was just waiting to see if something better dropped in his lap.”
“He’s an idiot. You shouldn’t feel stupid. He should.”
“I guess. Either way, I’m glad to be rid of him.” She smiled at Ken, feeling like a weight was off her chest. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I was thinking about your marriage. Was it really messy? It always seems like you and Katie still get along pretty well.”
“We do. I guess our divorce was as simple as divorces ever get. Neither one of us cheated on the other. We got married really young—we were both just eighteen—and a few years ago we realized the spark had gone out of marriage. I mean, we were okay. We had our jobs and we raised our daughters and we had friends and family around. But we were just going through the motions. We didn’t have fun together. Our sex life had kind of petered out too.” He paused. “Sorry, was that TMI?”
“No,” she said with a laugh, although she was blushing. “It’s fine. Go on. So you just decided to end it?”
“No. We had a shared life at that point, so we tried to save the marriage. We made a big point of doing things together. Talking. Going on dates. Anything we could think of. It just didn’t work. One evening, we were sitting across the table from each other at this fancy waterfront restaurant in Norfolk, and it kind of came to us. There was nothing left to revive. So we c
ould keep throwing ourselves against a brick wall, or we could end it before we started to hurt each other. So the next day we talked to lawyers and filed for divorce. I won’t say there weren’t any sharp words or hurt feelings in the process. Ending a marriage is always going to be hard. But it was the right decision, and both of us knew it. We still get along and do everything we can to make sure Heather and Jessie are happy.”
“They seem really happy,” she told him, picturing the pretty brown-haired, blue-eyed girls in her mind. “I mean, I don’t know the girls well, but every time I see them they seem happy.”
“I think they are. I think Katie and I are doing right by them. As much as we possibly can.”
“It’s been a couple of years since you divorced, hasn’t it? Haven’t you dated anyone since?”
“Why do you ask that?” His eyebrows arched.
“Oh.” Her cheeks were warming again. “Sorry. I just hadn’t heard about you dating anyone. I figured I would have...” She was embarrassed and didn’t really know why.
“I haven’t dated anyone,” he admitted. “At first I just felt kind of... tired. Like the whole idea of dating was too exhausting. And then there just wasn’t anyone I was really excited about. The thing about Azalea is that, if you go on one date, you immediately get hit with this pressure to be serious. Because everyone knows about it. And it felt like it might be worse ’cause I’m the sheriff. So even thinking a girl is cute isn’t necessarily enough for me to want to... face all that.”
“That makes perfect sense to me,” she replied with a smile, feeling strangely connected to him through the sheepish vulnerability in his expression. “So you never had your rebound?”
“My rebound?”
“You know. The throwaway relationship to help you get over a relationship and move on.”
He gave a huff of dry amusement. “No. I never had a rebound.”
“Me either.”
He lifted up enough to look down on her. Cupping her cheek, he said with a warm texture to his voice, “I’ll be yours, baby, if you’ll be mine.”