by Riley Rivers
“Fix it?” Raymond asked incredulously as Josh rooted through his duffel.
“Yeah,” Josh said. “I can just reapply my scent blocker and then—” He hissed another curse as he pulled out his regular-grade deodorant designed to mask his shifter undertone, instead of the scent blocker he used specifically to deal with the scent he had while virile. He must have forgotten to throw his extra-strength blocker into his duffel.
Not for the first time, Josh wished that his insurance would cover the script for an extra-strength scent blocker that he could use on a daily basis. If he didn’t have to shell out the full price cost for a blocker that properly worked during his virile period, he wouldn’t have to ration it and get into situations like this.
“Sorry,” he said finally, once he realized that the blocker he was looking for was probably still sitting on his bathroom counter. “Will… will my scent really bother you?”
“You want to exercise like this?” Raymond asked, looking thunderstruck.
Josh sighed, eyebrow raising despite himself. He wasn’t annoyed with Raymond, but he was definitely annoyed. “Raymond, my virile period happens like every other month. I see you three times a week. There has been no point in time since I’ve known you that I haven’t exercised while at some stage of my virile period. It’s not a big deal.”
“I… you’re not on suppressants or anything?”
Josh frowned, annoyance increasing. He was uncomfortable and distracted and horny, and he wanted to both kiss Raymond and also climb him like a tree. Since he could do neither of those things, he really just wanted to get to his workout and exhaust himself. “Um, no? My periods last, like, three days, and they don’t bother me. Not that it’s really any of your business.”
It could be, part of him said. It could be your business. Please want it to be your business.
He ruthlessly struck those thoughts down and just hoped the want and desire didn’t show on his face.
Raymond only ducked his head, chagrined. “Sorry, I—you’re right, not my business. Um. I just…”
When he made no move to finish that sentence, Josh blew out a breath and shoved the deodorant into his bag with probably more force than was necessary. It was hard not to feel hurt. “Look, it’s fine if you can’t handle it.” If you think I really smell that awful. “I should’ve made sure I’d brought the right stuff with me. I’ll, um, I’ll see you Friday?”
“Sure, yeah. Sorry.” Raymond swallowed and took a step back. “Friday.”
“Okay,” Josh said, heading back to the entryway to grab his shoes. He hoped that Raymond didn’t pick up on the dejected slope of his shoulders. All Josh had wanted was a way to get out his energy while spending time with Raymond. And now he got to go home still wound up and frustrated, but also with a fresh rejection in his brain. Raymond didn’t want him. Raymond didn’t like his scent. Josh liked Raymond so fucking much, but Raymond would rather Josh spend his virile period alone.
He knew Raymond didn’t mean it that way at all, but there it was. Stupid pheromones.
He’d just finished yanking on his sodden sneakers when Raymond took a hurried step forward, sounding panicked. “Wait.”
Josh stood up to look at him. “What? What’s wrong?” What now?
“You walked here,” Raymond said, eyes tracking fast.
“Yeah.” Josh was aware. It was why he was in this whole mess in the first place. “So?”
“Let me take you home.”
“That’s okay,” Josh said quickly. He could stand some more rain. It would add to the ambience of how miserable things currently seemed. “Don’t worry about it. It’s probably worse to drive in than to walk in, anyway.
“Josh, please. Please let me drive you home.”
Raymond sounded so close to begging that Josh fully focused on him again, baffled. “Why?”
Raymond had his hands clasped behind his back. He was also ducking his head and hunching his shoulders in a clear attempt to try to make himself smaller, sending out every single “I’m not a threat” signal he possibly could. On closer inspection, Josh realized that Raymond was breathing through his mouth.
“Because you smell really good,” Raymond mumbled after a long pause, gaze firmly fixed on the floor. “I’d worry.”
Josh blinked at him, thoroughly taken aback. He’d been told by multiple people for multiple years that his scent didn’t leave much to be desired, and that his virile scent was no different. He’d even been told that his scent was unappealing. At best, his scent was “fine.”
Unobtrusive.
He’d never had anyone say he smelled genuinely good, before.
And Raymond thinking he smelled good enough to worry about being in danger or something? That was all levels of weird.
It didn’t at all make his stomach flutter.
“I guess if you really want to,” Josh heard himself say. “But it’s not like anyone else is going to be out there.” It was still torrential.
“Thanks,” was all Raymond said. “Let me go get my keys.”
“Okay,” Josh said, kind of at a loss.
***
Raymond realized, once he and Josh had gotten into his car, that he had made a massive error. Josh’s scent—alluring, enticing, delicious—had been strong enough in the studio.
In Raymond’s car, with the windows rolled up against the rain, it only further bloomed, completely suffusing the small space. It made it difficult to concentrate on anything but Josh, and the only reason Raymond was able to focus at all on the drive was because he needed to keep Josh safe.
Safe meant not dead in a ditch because they’d run off a road turned river, so Raymond kept breathing through his mouth and did his best to steer, and he might have been panting and sweating with the effort of keeping himself from just pulling over and pushing Josh down in his seat, but he did it. He was able to get to Josh’s complex and pull into a space.
He hunched forward in his seat, taking big gulps of air and immediately regretting it, because that air was still wrapped up in the perfume of Josh’s scent. At least it would be gone soon. Josh would leave the car and head to his apartment and… and finish out his virile period alone…
The thought had Raymond whimpering before he could stop the sound. Just imagining Josh alone, having to deal with a virile period without help, without Raymond being there, taking care of him… it was almost too much to bear.
The other thought though, was Josh not ending up alone. Him going out to find someone for the night, or next several nights, someone else taking care of him, touching him, smearing their scent all over him—
If Josh seemed startled by the growl that rattled up through Raymond’s chest before he could squash it back down, he didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed blessedly unaware of Raymond’s massive crisis over how desperately he wanted to run his hands over every inch of Josh’s body, touch him, taste him, kiss him, please—
Raymond buried his face in his hands and tried not to whine.
“Raymond?” Josh was touching his shoulder and he sounded concerned. “Raymond, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Raymond gasped, trying not to react to Josh touching him. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He needed to get it together. “Here I’ll—I’ll walk you to your door.” At least he could provide some more protection. Josh smelled too good. Raymond needed to protect him.
“That’s okay,” Josh said, clearly alarmed. His scent was starting to turn distressed. “Are you sure you’re good to drive?”
“Sure,” Raymond forced out, throwing open the door, immediately buffeted by the intense, increased sound of rain. “Yeah, yeah, I—just gotta get some air. I’ll be fine.”
“All right,” Josh said doubtfully. “On three?”
They both bolted to the entrance of Josh’s building, and Josh shoved his keys in the lock to open the door so they could fall inside. He let out a sigh of relief once the door was shut, but just those few seconds outside had him dripping again. Raymond traced a droplet
of water sliding through Josh’s bangs and down the side of his cheek before he groaned and leaned heavily against the wall.
“Okay,” he managed. He needed to leave. He needed to make himself leave. “Right. Okay. I’ll—I’ll see you Friday.”
“Okay, no.” Josh grabbed his arm. “There’s no way you’re driving right now. That is literally an accident waiting to happen. You can barely stand up. Come on.”
“What?” Raymond asked, staring at him.
“Come on.” Josh tugged on Raymond’s wrist. “Come back to my place and at least sit down for a minute.”
“I’m fine, I shouldn’t—”
“Raymond, please. You look like you’re about to fall over. Please, I can’t let you drive like this.”
Raymond couldn’t ignore Josh’s scent tinged with distress. Especially not because of him. “Okay,” he allowed. “Okay. Just for a minute.”
Chapter Five
It was a relief once Raymond agreed to come rest at Josh’s apartment, but watching him stumbling through the door was disconcerting. Josh had never seen someone get sick so fast before, and Raymond had always been the picture of perfect health.
He pushed Raymond in the direction of the couch and went to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water. This Josh shoved into Raymond’s hands before heading to the bathroom to snag him a towel.
“Favor for favor,” Josh tried to joke, handing the towel over. “It’s only fair, since you let me use yours before.”
Raymond stared at the towel for altogether too long before he took it. “Thanks,” he said weakly.
Thinking about a towel reminded Josh of something else kind of important. “Be right back.”
He made a beeline for the bathroom again, this time with a different purpose. Sure enough, sitting innocently on the counter was his stupid extra-strength scent blocker. Grumbling to himself, he grabbed it and applied the spray, taking the time to check his absorption pads while he was at it. His slick hadn’t yet soaked them—he’d always been a light leaker—but he felt cleaner doing so anyway. He stuffed the used ones in his trash and sprayed them with the scent blocker too.
When he came out of the bathroom, it was to find Raymond hunched over on the couch, head in his hands. He looked up when Josh approached and then immediately dropped his head again. The water glass was empty on Josh’s coffee table.
“You really don’t look so good,” Josh said, trying not to let too much worry show. But inside he was kind of panicking. Raymond had been totally fine. What had happened? Did people get sick that fast? The only time Josh had ever had gotten so sick so quickly was when he’d gotten food poisoning. “Did you eat anything weird recently?”
Raymond shook his head. He took a deep breath, then instantly looked like he regretted it. “I’m feeling better.”
“Are you kidding me right now?”
“No, no, I really am. It’s getting better. I just...” He abruptly stopped talking.
“What? What is it? What happened?”
Raymond glanced away and muttered something too low for Josh to hear.
“One more time,” Josh said, trying not to sound exasperated. Raymond was sick. Be patient.
“I underestimated being in an enclosed space with you.” Raymond was fully concentrating on the floor. “I’m fine. I am. I just needed to get some distance. And you, um… you smell different now.” He sounded unhappy about it.
Still, that was a relief to hear. Josh breathed out. “That’s all? Okay, good. I thought there was something to worry about for a minute.”
Raymond stared at him. “No,” he said at last. “I’m fine. Thanks. Sorry. I’ll just—” He stood up, wobbling a little, and headed to the door.
Josh dove in front of it. “If I’m not bugging you, you can stand to rest for a little bit longer. You seemed really out of it for a while there.”
“But I’m fine to drive now,” Raymond pleaded. “I’m feeling a lot better.”
Josh crossed his arms. “Just because you aren’t dying doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to go right back out into a torrential downpour and try to drive when the visibility is nil. You might as well wait until it lets up a little.”
Raymond nodded, still looking a little dazed. “I guess that might be a good idea.”
Josh snorted. “‘Might be,’ he says. But yeah, okay, just wait a few more minutes and get your head clearer and then you can head out. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Josh grabbed his duffel. “I’m going to take care of my wet stuff. Might change too, since I’m soaked again.”
Raymond nodded.
“I can try to find something for you too,” Josh offered. “So you’re not sitting in wet clothes.”
“O-only if you want to,” Raymond stuttered. “But the towel helped a lot.”
Josh eyed Raymond critically. “I’ll see what I can do. Be right back.”
“Okay.”
Josh nodded, satisfied, and went back to his room to throw off his wet clothes. He still was wound up and antsy, but having Raymond around kind of soothed him a little bit too, for all that he still wanted to crawl into his lap and kiss him.
Right now Josh wanted comfort, so in lieu of day clothes, he pulled on a soft pair of flannel pajama bottoms and one of his most worn t-shirts. He didn’t super care about Raymond judging him for walking around in sleepwear. Not that he really thought Raymond would.
For Raymond, he decided to leave clothes for now. If he truly was going to leave pretty soon, it’d be silly to have him change and then change back. It wasn’t as though Raymond was spending the night.
He doesn't want to. He doesn't want you.
Josh gritted his teeth. He needed to stop being stupid. Raymond was his friend and Josh wanted to be a good host. He made his way back to the living room.
Which was empty.
“Damn it, Raymond—”
Then he registered the sound of running water coming from the kitchen. When he got there, it was to find Raymond at the sink, downing another glass of water.
“Oh good,” Josh said. “You’re still here.”
“You were right,” Raymond said. “It makes sense to wait a while. My next client isn’t for a couple hours anyway. I have the time. Thanks for uh, keeping me from going back out in that.”
“No big deal. Do you want to watch TV or something?”
“Sure,” Raymond said easily, following Josh back into the living room. “If you don’t mind.”
“Pick whatever.” Josh grabbed the remote and held it out. “It’s hooked up to Netflix too.”
“All right.”
Josh left Raymond on the couch flicking through shows and went over to his sectioned-off office space intent on losing himself in work, but even just that small distance away from Raymond made him uneasy. He was more comfortable around him. Closer to him. This constant buzz of want.
Josh could ignore it, but maybe trying to concentrate on work right now was just an exercise in disaster. He could stand to spend some time doing something a little less involved. He picked up his sketchbook instead and grabbed a pencil. It wouldn’t be a big deal to join Raymond on the couch and watch something with him and maybe sketch. As long as Raymond didn’t mind.
“Course I don’t mind,” Raymond said when Josh asked. “It’s your place. I’m the one intruding.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like I gave you much of a choice,” Josh said as he sat down on the opposite end of the couch. Too far away, he thought mournfully.
Raymond chuckled, finally sounding more like his regular self. “You said it, not me. Are you good with watching this?”
“This” was a nature documentary about alligators. One that Josh had been planning on watching anyway. He smiled at Raymond, loving how similar their tastes were. “Yeah, sure.”
They watched in silence for a few minutes while Josh absentmindedly sketched out bits and pieces of animals and people in the show. When he started feeling tired, he set his sketchbook and
pencil on the coffee table to close his eyes.
“Josh? You okay?”
“Hm?” Josh felt fine. Great, actually. Really content and happy, just a little sleepy too. The buzzing had finally settled a little, with Raymond so close and warm and there. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Raymond shifted on the couch. “Do you want me to turn the TV off?”
“Mm-mm, it’s cool.” He let his chin rest on his hand and blinked slowly at the screen. “S’good background noise.”
“If you say so.”
Josh drifted happily as the program played out, startling a little when Raymond got up to go to the bathroom. He felt a little colder with him gone, and when Raymond returned and brought the warmth back with him, Josh snapped his fingers in realization. “Oh!”
Raymond looked at him, confused. “Oh?”
“Nothing, nothing. I just figured something out.”
“You uh, wanna share with the class?”
“I’m reacting to your pheromones.”
“You are?” Raymond asked, freezing on the couch
“Yeah. That’s why I’m feeling, you know, all drifty and stuff.” More specifically, he felt ready to curl up under some nice warm blankets and take a nap, but that probably also had something to do with the rain continuing to pound down outside.
“But… drifty? That’s it?”
“What’s it?”
“That’s, um… all you’re feeling?”
“Yeah? Why?” Josh blinked muzzily before he realized what Raymond was very carefully trying not to ask. “Oh! Oh, no—Raymond, don’t worry about it. I might not be on suppressants, but I take a libido inhibitor. You don’t… you don’t need to worry.”
It stung. What was Raymond expecting? For Josh to jump him? Sure, Josh wanted to, but he had control. All unicorns had control. Going virile didn’t turn them mindless. Just miserable.
Instead of looking relieved, Raymond just frowned.
So did Josh. His light, happy mood was dissipating. “What now?”
“I thought… I thought inhibitors could be really bad for you guys.”