by Riley Rivers
“I’m not saying it was,” Curtis replied calmly. “I’m just asking. If you hadn’t gotten an intense and sudden face full of his scent, would you still have said yes if he’d asked?”
If Josh had asked? Made the first move? No question. If Josh had shown any interest in him anytime during the last six months… “Yeah,” Raymond said. “Yes, of course.”
Curtis made a relieved sound. “Okay. That’s good.”
“It is?”
“I don’t think you did anything wrong,” Curtis said with finality. “And you know I’d be at you if I thought you had. But I do think you really need to talk to Josh. Cause I doubt you have. Have you?”
“No,” Raymond mumbled.
“That’s what I thought. Talk to him, okay? If he’s really upset, you can grovel and then promise to leave him alone forever. But I don’t think he will be, except maybe over the fact that you radio-silenced him all day. Since I’m betting that’s what you did.”
Raymond didn’t really have a response to that. “Okay. Okay, I’ll… say something.” If nothing else, it was the right thing to do. He had to give Josh the chance to let Raymond know exactly what he thought of what had happened.
“Good man. Let me know how it goes?”
“I will.”
They hung up soon after, to Raymond’s phone beeping with a message. From Josh.
Hey… are we still on for tomorrow?
Raymond took a deep breath. Yeah, if you want to come.
Several minutes passed before Raymond received a simple Okay. See you then.
Raymond took a deep breath, then proceeded to cancel the rest of his evening appointments on Friday. He knew that there was no way he’d be able to concentrate on anything once he and Josh had seen each other
***
Thursday hadn’t been the easiest day for Josh. The day after his virile period was over never was, especially when Josh woke up alone. After three days of intense longing and wishing to be close to someone, the following twenty-four hours of come-down always left him feeling kind of bereft, like he was floating unpleasantly out of his skin.
It was possible that Thursday was particularly bad too, because he’d been with Raymond who had then left him, but it wasn’t as if Josh hadn’t had the same experience with one-night-stands before.
He had… hoped that wasn’t what Raymond was, but Josh wasn’t planning to make him uncomfortable by asking for more than what he’d gotten.
At least they were still on for today. Josh clung to that. Raymond still didn’t mind seeing Josh for a session, so at the very least Josh hadn’t ruined anything by coming onto him. Having sex with him.
Probably.
He was more or less a ball of nerves by the time he had to get ready to head over to Raymond’s place, but that was neither here nor there. He could totally be normal about what had happened. He sort of wanted to talk to Raymond about what had happened though. He wasn’t too keen on the idea of pretending Raymond hadn’t spent the night in Josh’s bed. Closure. That was all he really wanted.
He pushed open the door to Raymond’s studio, bell jingling, to find Raymond standing in the middle of the space. He jerked his head up when he heard Josh come in.
“Hey,” Josh said tentatively as he stepped out of his shoes.
“Hey,” Raymond said. “How… how are you?”
Josh, well, he’d always been honest with Raymond before. He wasn’t going to change now. “Not great.”
“No?” Raymond asked, looking nervous.
Josh shrugged before he knelt to lace up his sneakers. “Going virile takes a lot out of you. No one ever talks about the day or two after, you know?”
“Oh,” Raymond said, still sounding off.
Josh looked up at him, taking in how Raymond was shifting from foot to foot, head ducked, hands clasped behind his back. Doing the I’m not intimidating, I’m not a threat thing again. But why?
“Are you okay?” Josh asked.
“Me? I—yes, of course.”
“Alright,” Josh said slowly. “But you’re acting kind of weird.”
“Sorry,” Raymond said, ducking his head again.
Josh sighed and stood up. Here it comes. “Is this because of Wednesday?”
“I’m sorry,” Raymond blurted. Fast, like he was trying to get it out as quickly as possible.
“Sorry? What for?”
“For… for…”
Josh’s heart sank. Ah, there it was. He tried to smile around the fact that he was suddenly much, much too cold. “It’s okay. You did me a favor, so… no harm, no foul, right?”
“I still shouldn’t have done it,” Raymond said, eyes fixed on the floor. “I should’ve been better.”
“Better?” Josh asked, baffled. “Better at what? It was great. I had a really good time. I thought I’d uh, made that pretty clear.”
“You don’t regret it?” Raymond asked hesitantly.
Taken aback, Josh shook his head. Then Raymond’s words fully sunk in. “Do you?”
When Raymond didn’t say anything more, Josh went even colder. “Raymond… fuck, god, did you want to say no?”
“What?” Raymond asked, head jerking up.
But once the thought hit him, Josh couldn’t stop, feeling sick. “You… you could have told me no.”
“I… what?” Raymond’s eyes were very wide, which didn’t help Josh’s ensuing revulsion and panic.
He stumbled back a step. God, is this why Raymond had left? Not because he hadn’t wanted to stick around after sex but because he’d been ashamed? Of what… of what Josh had convinced him to do?
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, this has never happened before,” Josh babbled. “Not that it makes it better, but I’ve never coerced someone with my scent before—I swear I didn’t know what I was doing, fuck—”
Raymond stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
Josh paused, thrown. “I… I scent induced you. Isn’t that why you’re upset? You… you were talking about control the whole time and I just went ahead and—god, not that it’s your fault , of course it’s not your fault, I should have paid better attention. I should’ve just stayed in my bedroom and let you have the rest of my apartment until you felt calmer—”
“Josh, I—you are literally the hottest person I’ve ever met.”
Josh’s mouth opened and closed twice before he managed, “excuse me?”
Raymond averted his eyes, but he kept talking, almost as though he couldn’t help it. “I’ve wanted to ask you out for ages. You’re fucking beautiful and amazing and we’ve got the same sense of humor, but you never seemed interested, and that’s—it was fine. I didn’t want to push, I never wanted to push. But when you offered I just—I leapt at the chance to be with you for a reason. So please don’t feel bad. Please.”
Josh took that all in. “Raymond?”
Raymond looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. “Yeah?”
“I think we’ve both been missing some important signals here, so I want to be very clear and upfront about this. You like me?”
“A lot,” Raymond mumbled.
“Okay,” Josh breathed out, relieved. “Okay, well. The feeling’s mutual, all right?”
“It...” Raymond seemed so stunned that Josh almost wanted to laugh. Maybe sob.
“It’s mutual,” Josh said again. “I… you’re surprised by this?”
“Yes!”
“How?” Josh raked a hand through his hair. “I thought… I thought I was being anything but subtle, which is why I started trying to tone it down. You were the one who never seemed interested.”
“Scent,” Raymond blurted.
“What?”
“It was your scent,” Raymond said. “I didn’t—I try my best not to read too much into peoples’ scents, since it’s not my business, they can’t help that I’m an alpha with all these extra senses but… I paid attention to yours. Because I was paying attention to you. And I never even got any hint of intere
st so I… I figured there wasn’t any.”
“Oh my god,” Josh said in disbelief. “My scent blockers. That’s why, isn’t it? I wear them to mask being a unicorn shifter, since that’s just a conversation I hate having. But they dulled everything else for you too, didn’t they.” It wasn’t a question.
Raymond nodded anyway, clearly miserable. “I figured it out Wednesday. Not that you were, um, attracted to me, but that you were wearing a scent blocker. I hadn’t even considered that, before. I just thought your natural scent was fainter than most people’s.”
“You mean to tell me that your first time actually scenting me was while I was virile?” Josh croaked.
Raymond nodded again.
Josh rubbed a hand over his face. “Okay, that… that is marginally made better by the fact that you were apparently already into me but, god. Fuck. No wonder you seemed so out of it.”
Raymond cleared his throat. “Nothing happened that I wasn’t one hundred percent on board with.”
He sounded so firm, that it eased something in Josh. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean that. So don’t feel bad. About that.” Then, much more hesitantly, “You really liked me? Before all this?”
“Raymond,” Josh said gently. “I’ve had a crush on you for months. You’re sweet, smart, and funny, but I didn’t think it was appropriate to say anything, especially when you seemed so uninterested. Which was apparently because you thought I wasn’t interested and so were tamping down your own feelings to keep from making me uncomfortable. Is that right?”
“Got it one,” Raymond said. Then, shyly, “You think I’m smart?”
“Okay, hold on, what? Um, yes? Of course?”
“Oh,” Raymond said quietly, cheeks pinking.
“Wait—Raymond, what—” Josh shook his head, trying to understand. “Does someone think you aren’t?”
Raymond shrugged, ducking his head. “I’m a big guy who likes to work out. It’s not a stretch for people to peg me as a musclehead. Big, dumb, werewolf, you know? Especially if they know I’m an alpha.”
Josh was suddenly furious. “Wow, fuck everyone who’s ever made you feel that way. That’s—that’s—fucking no!”
“Josh?”
“You’re so smart. Half the reason I love your humor is because it’s clever! And you love to learn! And-and talk about stuff you’re learning. It makes you happy. It makes me happy that you share that excitement with me. Who the fuck’s been trashing your self-confidence like that? I’ll fight them.”
Raymond let out a laugh, half nervous, half amused. “You don’t have to fight anyone. It’s okay.”
“Watch me!”
“But it um, it really means a lot.” Raymond rubbed the back of his neck. “That you think that.”
“Of course I do,” Josh said looking up at him, desperate for Raymond to understand. “You’re so good, okay. I hate that anyone has ever made you feel like you weren’t. God, like… I don’t expect anything. I promise I don’t. Whatever we do next is up to you. But give me the chance and I’d date the fuck out of you. No, uh, no pun intended, even.”
Raymond stared at him for a long moment before taking a step forward, then another, then another, until he and Josh were practically chest to chest. “You mean it?”
“You have no idea how much I mean it,” Josh said emphatically. “I—Sorry, I’m wearing my scent blocker again so I can’t, uh, prove it that way but yeah. I’d really like the chance to date you. Even if we sort of did this backwards.”
“God, can I kiss you?”
Josh reached up to cup Raymond’s cheek. “Yeah. Let’s start with that.”
Chapter Nine
Raymond nervously drummed his fingers on his thigh as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. He’d just finished rescheduling all his clients for the next couple days, and was now about to head home to pack a bag for some overnights at Josh’s apartment.
Josh had let him know that he’d gotten all the signs that he was about to go virile.
It was Josh’s first virile period since they had gotten together two months ago, and while Josh had insisted that he’d be okay with Raymond’s normal schedule, Raymond really wanted to do things right. At least this time, he wanted to make sure he provided all that he could.
He’d had to talk it out with Josh, because Josh had been worried that Raymond was trying to make up for how things had gone the last time Josh had been virile. And yeah, it was a bit of that for sure—Raymond wanted to make sure he didn’t fuck up again by outright leaving while Josh was asleep, for one. But mostly Raymond wanted to make it a positive experience for both of them. Especially this new, “first” time.
He’d broached the subject a few times over the last several weeks and, with Josh’s help, continued to not only learn about Josh’s personal experiences, but about the virile period in general. He was very glad to be able to operate under information that wasn’t just sensationalized media, but he had also gleaned enough to be… more than a little angry at Josh’s previous partners
The virile period was about closeness. About protection and comfort and care, and wanting it—needing it. Needing looking after.
Sex too, of course, in Josh’s case. That was a pretty big component and one Raymond was looking forward to for sure.
But god was he also looking forward to the rest of it.
Raymond loved being able to take care of his partners. And he loved the idea of being able to be the strong one, to provide protection, to being someone safe for someone important to him. So he was dying to put this into practice for Josh. He had read up on all the best ways to calm a unicorn as they were fully entering their virile period, and how to provide proper aftercare after sex, which tended to be incredibly exhausting for a virile unicorn dealing with an influx of emotions and sensations.
Now it was just a matter of doing it all.
“You’re overthinking this,” Josh had said when Raymond had started asking questions about what he liked. “It’s really no big deal. No one’s ever offered this type of stuff to me before—I’ve clearly got on fine without it.”
“No one’s ever offered before?” Raymond had asked, horrified. By then he’d been very aware of how affectionate and cuddly Josh could get after sex. Surely at least one of Josh’s previous partners had noticed that he’d been asking for more—
But Josh had just shrugged. “I haven’t had a lot of long-term partners. So I haven’t done a lot of aftercare. I told you, it’s not a big deal.”
“Are you kidding me? They never—no one’s ever—” Raymond had sputtered for a while before growling, “Fuckers, not treating you right.”
Josh had raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I didn’t exactly push for anything.”
“You shouldn’t have had to! It’s basics to provide aftercare.”
“Okay, okay, so I won’t argue. Did you want to prove your point?”
“Yes,” Raymond had growled. “I’m going to spoil the fuck out of you.”
Josh had snorted. “Show me what I’ve missed out on?”
“Damn right.”
And Raymond planned to make good on that promise.
***
Josh hadn’t realized just how antsy he had been for Raymond to arrive until there was a knock on his door. He fairly leapt up out of his chair to go answer it, throwing the door open without ceremony to reveal Raymond, a duffel slung over his shoulder and carrying a reusable grocery bag in one hand.
“Hey,” Raymond said softly, lips quirking up
“Hey,” Josh breathed, taking a second to just look before he was overwhelmed with the urge to touch. “Come on in, come in, come on.”
Raymond chuckled and followed, stepping out of his shoes and setting the grocery bag on the floor before holding out his hand. “C’mere?”
Josh went eagerly, letting out a little whimper of a sound at the kiss, the warm heat of Raymond’s body so close, the press of his large hand at the small of his back. “God,” he panted when th
ey parted. “Missed you.”
Raymond kissed his forehead. “Missed you too. How are you doing?”
“Not bad,” Josh said. “Not out of my mind yet, at least. I um, I didn’t take my libido inhibitor though. If, uh, if that’s okay. But I can take it now.”
“Don’t.” Raymond caught his shoulder as Josh started to turn away. “Don’t, please. It’s okay.” He ducked down to press his face into the join of Josh’s neck and shoulder, inhaling as Josh shivered. “God, you smell amazing.”
Josh let out a nervous little laugh, which made no sense, because he wasn’t nervous. He knew this would be good, because Raymond was good. He knew Raymond would take care of him. Would be with him, and then would stay.
Okay, so maybe he was a little nervous just to… to know that he was going to have all that. Have Raymond, here, with him. For this.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Raymond asked, cupping his face.
Josh swallowed. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just—I, um. I’m really happy you’re here. That you want to be here. Even if you didn’t have to be, and it was totally fine if you wanted to do regular work for the next two days.”
“I wanted to be with you, and I’m happy to get the chance to be. There’ll be other virile periods where things might be different, but this one’s special.”
“Yeah?” Josh blamed being virile on his soppy smile.
“Yeah,” Raymond said. He bent to pick the grocery bag back up.
“Oh, here,” Josh said, reaching for the duffel. “I’ll go put that in my room.”
“Okay.” Raymond grinned at him and handed it over. “You’re not hungry, are you?”
Josh shook his head. He never had much of an appetite while virile. That was pretty typical.
“Okay,” Raymond said again. “Kind of figured. Meet me in the kitchen anyway?”