“It’s working.” TJ’s voice was filled with hope, he even had a smile on his face. “The chemotherapy is working. We’re not out of the dark yet, but we are moving in the right direction.”
The overwhelming feeling of hope took my breaths. The panicked heartbeats that rolled through my system were terrifying.
“I—” my voice started but then it paused. I felt like I should say something, because Kellan wasn’t talking at all. Yet I didn’t know what the right words were. Were there any right words in a situation like this one?
My fingers griped the chair deeper. My right hand brushed against my cheek and I cleared my throat. “It’s working?” I asked.
He started speaking but, I stopped listening again. I took Kellan’s hand and squeezed his left, while Erika squeezed his right.
My brother, my hero, my best friend was fighting cancer.
He was beating cancer.
And I could finally breathe.
That night Alyssa and I climbed up to the billboard and stared at the stars tossed across the sky. We shared raspberry Oreos, and kissed until we needed a breath, remembering everything we’d been through, and dreaming of everything that was coming our way.
“I liked the DVD you gave me about the Greek mythology of the phoenix,” I said, as our legs dangled off of the ledge of the billboard. “I loved the idea of the bird dying, but then somehow rising from the ashes, reborn, receiving a new chance at life.”
She smiled. “Yeah, you’re the phoenix, Logan. You’ve come so far, seen so many things, and you’ve been reborn.”
I shook my head. “I looked deeper into different mythologies and different beliefs on the phoenix and what it stood for. Although I appreciated the story of the Greeks, it was the Chinese beliefs that got me the most.”
“What did they believe?”
“The phoenix was commonly seen in two, a male and a female. The two phoenixes together stood for yin and yang. They were two parts of a whole. The female phoenix was the passive, gentle, intuitive one, while the male was the assertive one, the one who took action. Together they stood for unforgettable partnership. In parts of the world, the two phoenixes symbol is given as a wedding gift—a sign of forever and happily ever afters.”
“That’s beautiful,” she said.
“I thought so.”
We took a moment to stare back up at the sky.
“High?”
“Yes?” My palms were sweaty as I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box. She took in a small breath when her eyes fell to the box, then her eyes locked with mine. “What are you doing, Lo?”
“Truth or lie?”
“Lie.”
“I’m doing absolutely nothing.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “And the truth?”
“I’m beginning to rise from the ashes. I’m only in the early stages of rebirth, but I know as I ascend, I want you to be locked with me forever.” The small box opened, and I pulled out the wedding ring, which showcased two phoenixes coming together, intertwined with a diamond in the middle of their wings. “You’re my healer. You’re my strength. You’re my ever after, and if it’s all right with you, if you’re okay with it, I’d love for you to be my wife.”
“Really?” she softly spoke.
“Really,” I replied.
Her voice was shaky as she moved in closer to me, resting her lips against mine. “For always, Lo?”
I took her hand into my hand, and slid the ring onto her ring finger, kissing her gently. “For always, High.”
Epilogue
Logan
Seven years, one wedding, one full recovery, two babies, and a stronger love later
I was happy.
I didn’t have much to my name, and I didn’t have many stories of success to pass on to my children. I wasn’t some millionaire genius. I didn’t have three bachelor’s degrees. I’d probably be working most of my life to make ends meet, but I’d always make them meet because I had love. I had three people counting on me to keep going when times were hard. I had three people believing in me and my faraway dreams.
Alyssa and I were able to start one of our dreams together: High&Lo Restaurant and Piano Bar. We’d been running it for two years now, and after my children, it was one of my greatest accomplishments. Still, I strived for more.
One day I’d give my children and my beautiful wife the world. My children would never know what it meant to be unloved. They had been cherished before they’d even entered the world.
Alyssa, my beautiful love, she had saved my life. She had given me a reason to live, and it was an honor to be loved by her. I promised her heart I’d never forget the way she gave me all of her when I had nothing left to give in return. She promised me I wasn’t the product of my yesterdays, and knew I was destined for amazing tomorrows.
She was the fire in my soul that kept me warm at night.
“That’s too high,” my five-year-old son Kellan cried, as we walked over to the billboard ladder. He was named after his uncle, who still was chasing his dream of becoming a successful musician, and was getting closer each day.
His younger sister Julie sat on my shoulders, looking up. “Yeah, Daddy! Too high!” she agreed. She was named after her grandma, the woman who knew more dark days than light, but now was able to walk in the sun and for the past seven years kept her demons at bay. Not every day was easy, but each day was a blessing.
I smiled at Alyssa, who had warned me that the kids would think it was too scary, but I wanted them to see the stars that night from the same place I’d first fallen in love.
“We have blankets,” Alyssa said. “We can always lay them out down here and look up.”
“Can we do that, dad? Can we just look up instead of climbing?” Kellan asked.
“Of course. That’s even better.”
That night we were quiet, staring out into the star-lit sky which was fading into darkness. My arms were wrapped around Alyssa’s waist, and she leaned back against me, allowing me to be the one that held her up. Each night we watched the sun set no matter where we were, and we’d wake early to witness it rising again. That was the thing about life: even when the days faded to black, you were always given another chance, a second moment to try again to rise from the ashes.
The kids ran around, playing, as Alyssa and I stared at the lives we’d created. They were our happily ever after, the gifts that brought us so much joy.
My gosh, I was happy.
I was so damn happy, secure, and loved.
As the sky became black and the cool winds brushed against us, I whispered against Alyssa’s ear, pulling her closer to me. “For always, High?”
“For always, Lo.”
I shrugged.
She shrugged.
I laughed.
She laughed.
I parted my lips.
She parted her lips.
I leaned in.
She leaned in.
Our lips locked, and even though my feet were planted firmly on the ground, I’d never in my life felt so high.
The End
Acknowledgments
So many people helped bring this novel together, and I don’t know where to start thanking people. So I’ll start with my best friend. To my mom: You helped me get through writing this book. I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for you. You make life better for so many souls, and I’m so happy to call you my best friend.
To Alison, Allison, Christy, and Beverly: Thank you for taking the time to help beta read Alyssa’s and Logan’s story. You’ve helped me figure out so many issues with the storyline, and gave me the best feedback. You are all so close to my heart and I can never thank you enough.
Thank you to my amazing editor Caitlin at Edits by C. Marie: You are so gifted beyond words.
To my other editor Kiezha: Thank you for not only helping me with edits, but talking plot with me day after day. You’ve made this story tighter, and I love you for that.
To Danielle Allen:
You’re my world. Seriously. We spoke each day for the past two months, and you held my hand when I cracked. You gave me your always inspirational words when I needed them most. You made me laugh when I felt like crying. I love you, friend. SS/KS.
To Staci Brillhart: For the hours you spent on the phone with me, talking storyline. For the hours you spent on messenger with me (MONTHS!) making sure I was okay. The world needs more beautiful souls like you. Thank you for existing, and thank you for allowing me to call you my friend.
To my tribe: You all know who you are. My heart beats with yours. Always.
To my proofreader: Judy, you saved me last minute, and your skills are mind-blowing. I’m crazy about you!
To those who made my novel beautiful: My cover photographer Franggy for the lovely cover image, and my cover designer, Staci, from Quirky Bird.
To my agents who believe in me when I can’t even believe in myself. You’ve made all of my dreams come true. Thank you.
To the readers: Thanks for taking a chance on me and my novels. You changed my life more than you’d ever know.
Lastly a big thank you to my family. For the good times, and the bad, I’d always choose you.
XoXo!
The Silent Waters
The Silent Waters
The Silent Waters
Copyright © 2016 by Brittainy C. Cherry
All rights reserved.
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, you should return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.
Published: Brittainy C. Cherry 2016
[email protected]
Editing: Editing by C. Marie, Ellie at Love N. Books
Copy Editing: Librum Artis Editorial Services
Proofreading: Virginia Tesi Carey, Lawrence Editing
Cover Design: Quirky Bird
Cover Model: Luke Ditella
Created with Vellum
Moments
Moments.
Humans always remember the moments.
We recall the steps that led us to where we were meant to be. The words that inspired or crushed us. The incidents that scarred us and swallowed us whole. I’ve had many moments in my lifetime, moments that changed me, challenged me, moments that scared me and engulfed me. However, the biggest ones—the most heartbreaking and breathtaking ones—all included him.
It all began with a rocket ship nightlight and a boy who didn’t know me.
Prologue
Maggie
July 8th, 2004
Six Years Old
“It’s going to be different this time, Maggie, I swear. This time is forever,” Daddy promised, as he pulled up to the yellow brick house on the corner of Jacobson Street. Daddy’s soon-to-be wife, Katie, stood on her front porch watching our old station wagon pull in the driveway.
Magic.
It felt like magic, coming up to the house. I’d moved from a small place to a palace. Daddy and I had lived in a tiny two-bedroom apartment all our lives, and now we were moving into a two-story home with five bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen the size of Florida, two and a half bathrooms, and an actual dining room—not a living room where Daddy set up TV dinner trays at five in the afternoon each night for supper. Daddy told me they even had an inground pool in their backyard. A pool! In their backyard!
I went from living with one person to becoming a part of a family.
The family part was nothing new, though. Since I could remember, I’d been part of many families with Daddy. The first one I hadn’t really known, since my mama had walked out on Daddy and me before I’d even spoken my first word. She’d found someone else who made her feel more loved than Daddy, which was hard for me to believe. Daddy gave his all to love, no matter how much it cost him. After she left, he gave me a box of photographs of her so I could remember her, but I thought that was a weird thing. How could I remember a woman who was never even there? After her, he became good at falling in love with women, and oftentimes, they fell in love with him, too. They’d move into our tiny world with all their belongings, and Daddy would tell me it was forever, but forever was always shorter than he hoped it would be.
This time was different.
This time, he had met the love of his life in an AOL chat room. Daddy had his share of bad relationships after my mama left us, so he thought trying to meet someone online would’ve been better, and it worked. Katie had lost her husband years before and hadn’t dated until she signed online and met Daddy.
And unlike all the times before, this time Daddy and I were moving in with Katie and her children, not the other way around.
“This time is forever,” I whispered back to Daddy.
Katie was beautiful like all the women on TV. Daddy and I watched television when we ate our supper together, and I’d always notice how beautiful the people were. Katie looked just like them. She had long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, kind of like me. Her nails were painted a bright red color that matched her lipstick, and her eyelashes were thick, dark, and long. When Daddy and I pulled into her—our—driveway, she was waiting there in a pretty white dress, wearing yellow high heels.
“Oh, Maggie!” she cried, rushing over to me and flinging the car door open so she could wrap her arms around me. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
I raised an eyebrow, wary about hugging Katie back, even though she smelled like coconuts and strawberries. I never knew coconuts and strawberries went together until I met Katie.
I looked over at Daddy, who was smiling my way, and he nodded once, giving me permission to hug the woman back.
She hugged me so tight and lifted me out of the car, squeezing the air from my lungs, but I didn’t complain. It’d been a long time since I’d been hugged that tight. The last time had probably been when Grandpa had come to visit and wrapped me up in his arms.
“Come on, now. Let me introduce you to my kids. We’ll stop by Calvin’s room first. You two are the same age, so you’ll be going to school together. He’s right inside with a friend of his.”
Katie didn’t bother putting me down, instead carrying me over to the steps as Daddy grabbed a few pieces of our luggage. As we walked through the front door, my eyes widened. Wow. It was beautiful, something straight out of Cinderella’s palace, I was sure. She took me upstairs, to the last room on the left, and opened the door. My eyes fell on two boys playing Nintendo and shouting at each other. Katie placed me down on my feet.
“Boys, pause,” Katie said.
They didn’t listen.
They kept arguing.
“Boys,” Katie repeated more sternly. “Pause.”
Nothing.
She huffed and placed her hands on her hips.
I huffed and copied her stance.
“BOYS!” she shouted, unplugging their video game system.
“MOM!”
“MS. FRANKS!”
I giggled. The boys turned to face us, utter shock in their stare, and Katie smiled. “Now that I have your attention, I want you to say hello to Maggie. Calvin, she’s staying with us, along with her father. Remember me saying you were gonna get a sister, Calvin?”
The boys stared blankly at me. Calvi
n was clearly the blond one, who looked identical to Katie. The boy sitting next to her had dark messy hair and brown eyes, along with a hole in his pale yellow t-shirt and potato chip crumbs on his jeans.
“I didn’t know you had another sister, Cal,” the boy said, staring my way. The more he stared, the more my stomach hurt. I stepped behind Katie’s leg, my cheeks heating up.
“Me neither,” Calvin replied.
“And, Maggie, this is Brooks. He lives across the street from us, but tonight he’s sleeping over.”
I peeked around Katie’s kneecap at Brooks, who gave me a small smile before eating the crumbs off of his pants.
“Can we play the game again?” Brooks asked, going back to his controller and staring at the blank television screen.
Katie snickered to herself, shaking her head back and forth. “Boys will be boys,” she whispered to me as she plugged their game back in.
I shook my head and giggled, too, just like Katie. “Yeah. Boys will be boys.”
Next, we stopped by another room. It was the pinkest room I’d ever seen, and a girl was sitting on the floor, drawing, wearing bunny ears and a princess dress, and eating Doritos out of a pink plastic bowl.
“Cheryl,” Katie said, walking into the room. I hid behind her leg. “This is Maggie. She’s gonna be staying with us, along with her father. Remember I told you about this?”
Cheryl looked up, smiled, and stuffed more Doritos into her mouth. “Okay, Mom.” She went back to drawing, and her red curly hair danced back and forth as she hummed a song to herself. Then she paused and looked up again. “Hey, how old are you?”
“Six,” I said.
She smiled. “I’m five! Do you like playing with dolls?”
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