I smiled and thanked her.
As Sarah turned to walk away, she paused. “Music, too. People say music helps. But I’m sure you already knew that.”
Truer words were never spoken.
When she left, I pulled a chair closer to Mrs. Boone’s bedside and took her hand into mine. “I have a selfish request, Mrs. Boone. So, I’m assuming this is the moment where you’d normally call me an idiot or something, but I gotta ask you to do this. Come back. You have to wake up, not for me, not for yourself, but for Maggie. She needs a break; she needs a win in life. She’s been through so much bullshit, so much. Therefore, I forbid you to do this. I forbid you to stay in this shape. I don’t know if you know this, but you’re her best friend. You’re the only thing she really has going for her, and I can’t have you check out on her, because I think she’d check out, too, and I selfishly can’t have that. I need you girls to get better. I need you girls to get healed. So do this for me. I’ll give you an IOU, okay? Just come back to us, Mrs. B. Just come back.”
I sniffled and pulled my chair even closer, remembering Sarah’s last words. I leaned in toward her ear and softly began to sing “Sittin’ On The Dock Of The Bay” by Otis Redding, the song that was hers with Stanley.
I silently prayed she could hear me.
I hadn’t a clue why I was so terrified to see Maggie. After an eighteen-hour flight, and twelve hours in a hospital, I had thought I’d be mentally prepared to stand near her, but the moment I walked up to her porch, my hands started shaking. I rang the doorbell and when Mrs. Riley answered, she frowned at me. We hadn’t spoken in years, since she’d forbidden me from her house, but this time she stepped aside and let me in.
“Thank you, Mrs. Riley,” I said.
She gave me a small smile in response then disappeared back into the house.
I walked up to Maggie’s room, where her door was wide open, but she was missing. I stepped inside when I saw the stack of books I sent to her—the ones she never sent back. I opened them each, flipping through, seeing her pink tabs in every single one. She replied to all of my notes, but I didn’t understand. Why hadn’t she sent them back?
As I turned around with a book in my hands, reading her handwriting, I paused, looking up from the book.
Maggie.
She looked beautiful.
So fucking beautiful.
A book was in her grip, and her arms wrapped around the book, which pushed against her chest. We stood still, staring at one another. My stomach knotted as I stepped back, placing the book in my hand back to her desk. “Sorry,” I murmured.
She blinked a few times and pulled on the ends of her wet hair, still staring. That was all I could say to her? Sorry? I hadn’t seen her in years. Years! I had flown across an ocean for her. I hadn’t stood that close to her in so long, and now, the first word out of my mouth was ‘sorry’.
“How are you?” I asked, causing her to tilt her head as she stared.
There were a few things I noticed about Maggie that were different than when I’d left. Her hair was shorter, but still, past her shoulders. She gave tiny smiles, but never showed her teeth. Her lips pressed together and the corners of her mouth curved up, but it was never a full grin. It was very petite, like her figure. Her blue eyes looked lonely, too. That was the hardest part for me, staring into her eyes. She hardly blinked, but when she did, it was quicker than most, as if she didn’t want to miss a second of sight.
“How are you?” I asked again. No kind of reply. “You okay today, Maggie May?” I whispered.
Her body tightened up and she shrugged.
She was still as beautiful as before, but now it was a haunting kind of beauty, the kind of beauty that made you want to laugh and cry all at once.
I stepped forward, wanting to place my hand on her arm, to remember what she felt like, but when I moved, she edged away.
“Sorry,” I murmured. “I’ll let you be.”
She frowned. I’d forgotten that a frown could be more stunning than a smile. I stepped past her, and our arms brushed against one another, and I felt her shake. Or maybe I shook. It was hard to tell the difference between the two of us. Right as I was about to leave, I paused.
“I miss you,” I blurted out, a little hurt, a little honest, a little confused. “I miss you and I don’t know why, because you made it clear that you wanted me to go to Los Angeles all those years ago. I miss you, because you stopped sending me the books. I miss you, and I don’t know why, because you’re right here. You’re standing steps away from me, yet I feel as if there is some kind of giant wall standing between us. How can I miss you when you’re so damn close to me?”
She kept her back to me as I watched her bend down and place the book on the floor in front of her. As she rose slowly, she turned toward me, and then leaped into my arms.
She literally leaped. She flew to me, and I caught her, wrapping my arms so tight around her.
God.
That felt good.
It felt so good to have her in my arms. To hold her close to me. To smell her hair, which always smelled like honey and flowers. To feel her lips graze against my shoulder. To hold her.
My Maggie May…
“Don’t let go,” I whispered into her hair. “Please don’t let go.”
She held on tighter.
That night we lay on her bed, listening to music on her iPhone, each with one of the earbuds, and it was amazing how natural it felt being there in that room beside her. They said time changed people, and it was true. We weren’t the same two people we used to be, but somehow we evolved as one. Even with hundreds of miles between us.
But what I loved most about that night was how some things never seemed to change.
I loved that my favorite moments stayed the same.
Tilting my head in her direction, I asked her a question. “Why didn’t you send the books back to me?”
She pushed herself up, narrowed her eyes, and seemed somewhat confused. When she reached over for her board, I waited somewhat patiently for her reply.
Sasha.
“What about her?” I asked.
The letter you sent, telling me about her the first time, I knew I should stop replying.
“Because it hurt you?”
Maggie shook her head. Because it could’ve hurt her, seeing letters coming from another girl.
And there she was again: the most thoughtful woman in the world.
“We broke up,” I said.
Maggie gave me a questioning stare, and I rubbed my hairy chin.
“Well, she kind of broke up with me, I guess. She said she hated being the third choice in my life.”
Third?
“Music…and well…” I gave her a sad grin, and she gave me the same kind back. Music and you. “It’s not fair, you know, because every time I tried to move on your love kept pulling me back.”
She moved over to me, and her lips locked with mine. When we began to kiss we hadn’t any plans to stop. It was easily the best thing I’d done in the past ten years—coming home to her love.
That night we slept in each other’s arms, and whenever I woke, I pulled her closer. The idea of losing her again was too much for me. Before I headed back on tour, I needed her to know I’d be coming home to her. I needed her to know we’d make it work, no matter what. I needed her to know she was and always would be my biggest dream.
27
Maggie
When I woke up, Brooks was gone, but my board was placed beside me and read: Went to sit with Mrs. Boone. I’ll be back later tonight. I love you.
My hands went to wipe the words clear, and all the words erased except the last three.
I didn’t mind at all.
“So, rumor has it Mrs. Boone woke up about thirty minutes ago,” Calvin said as he walked into my bedroom.
My eyes widened and I leaped up from my bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“The doctors said she’s doing okay. They are going to run some tests to see if
it is her memory slipping, Alzheimer’s or dementia or something. I don’t know all the details, but for now, she’s okay. She’s awake, Maggie.”
Seriously?
“Yup. Brooks sent a group text to everyone. I’m guessing you haven’t checked your phone, or I would’ve heard you silently celebrating.” He winked.
I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at him, which he caught and threw back, making me tumble over. Within seconds, he jumped onto my bed, bouncing up and down. The amount of comfort that raced through me was incomparable to any feeling I’d ever felt. Knowing she was okay, knowing she’d breathe in the air of another day—that alone was so beautiful.
“So, we’re flying back over to the UK early Monday morning. Our management gave us a pretty big slap on the hand for missing two shows,” Calvin said. “It turns out that it’s kind of frowned upon to just fly home during a tour and take care of your grandma…well, that’s what they were told at least, that Mrs. Boone was our grandma…which is more or less true. Management is pretty pissy about it, ya know, time is money, but oh well. We’ll start back up in Birmingham next week.”
Oh gosh…I’m so sorry. This is my fault.
Calvin rolled his eyes. “It’s no one’s fault. Life happens. You might as well happen along with it. It’s been a crazy few years, so the break is really needed. Plus…I have a secret.”
I arched an eyebrow, wondering what it could be.
He grinned. “I haven’t told anyone. I figured I’d tell you first because you are the ultimate best at keeping secrets due to that whole”—he took his fingers to his lips and made a zipper noise—“mute thing.”
I smirked.
He smiled back, reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a small box. My hands flew over my mouth. He was going to finally ask Stacey to marry him.
He opened the box and I gasped, tears filling my eyes. Calvin shoved me. “Come on, sis. Don’t cry.”
I ripped the box out of his hand and studied the beautiful diamond ring, overtaken by its beauty.
“Do you think she’ll like it?”
I rolled my eyes dramatically, making him chuckle. She’ll love it.
“I’m going to show Mom and Dad too, before I head over to the hotel to meet Stacey. I’ve never been so damn nervous in my life, ya know? I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest.”
He took the ring back from me and stared at it, almost as if he were nervous there was a chance Stacey would say no to the proposal. There wasn’t. I’d never seen two people who were more meant to be than Calvin and Stacey. Even when Calvin had caught his break years ago, it hadn’t rocked their relationship; it may have even made it stronger. Heck, they’d been wearing promise bands on their ring fingers with their initials engraved on the inside since their eighth grade graduation.
Stacey and my brother were meant to have the happily-ever-after life. They were destined for it.
I squeezed his knee, and he broke his stare from the ring, turning to me. I smiled. He smiled back, though he still had a hint of fear in his eyes.
“Thanks, Maggie. I’m going to go show Mom and Dad.” He hopped off my bed and left the room. A second later, he popped his head back into my doorframe. “And, Maggie? I love you. I doubt I say that enough as a brother, but I don’t know. With everything that happened to Mrs. Boone, I’ve just been thinking. Life is unexpected, so you might as well tell the people you love how you feel, ya know?”
My brother, the sensitive musician.
I held up the board that said I love you and added too.
After he left, it only took two minutes to hear Mama holler from her bedroom. “Oh my God! My son’s getting married!”
“Easy, Mom. I haven’t asked her yet,” he replied.
“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmyGOSH! There’s so much to do, so much to plan!” she bellowed. “I’ve been waiting for this day my whole life!”
I smiled, knowing she wasn’t kidding. I also smiled because it was the happiest I’d heard her sound in years.
“You okay today, Magnet?” My favorite words. Brooks stepped into my room later that night with a bag in his hand and joined me on my bed. “So, rumor has it there’s going to be a wedding sometime soon. I guess a girl who loved a boy said yes to a question and accepted a ring. I went out with the group for a celebration dinner, and all I could think about was how I wished you were there. So, I left early and brought dinner to you.”
I leaned in and kissed him. We began eating more French fries than anyone should’ve ever eaten and stuffing our faces with giant burgers.
“You ever think about getting married, Maggie May?”
Yeah.
“You ever think about getting married to someone like me?”
I took his hand and squeezed twice.
I snuggled into his body, and he held me close to his heart.
“Someday I’m going to marry you. We’re going to get married and be the happiest people in the world. Then, we are going to have the chubbiest kids ever, who smile all the time because they copied our smiles. We’ll have a dog named Skippy and a cat named Jam, and we’ll get a big house, with a place for you in the backyard to escape and drink wine when you need a break from the kids. A she-shed. You’ll work on your dream, whatever your dream becomes, and we’ll be so happy, Magnet. I can see it so much in my head, our lives. We’re gonna be happy forever.”
I loved his words, his hope, his plans. His plans were mine, too. Everything he wanted, I may have wanted more. I believed it was all coming our way, too. We deserved it, he and I. Just like my brother and Stacey, Brooks and I deserved happily ever after. This time is forever.
I heard about you guys getting in trouble for missing the concerts. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up your music.
“No big deal,” Brooks spoke softly, sitting beside me with his leg brushing against mine. “It’s just music.” Music was his life, and he put it on hold for me. “Besides, there are bigger dreams.” His eyes met mine, and he said everything with his lopsided smile and with silence. I heard him loud and clear, and I hoped he could hear my voice, too.
I love you, too, Brooks.
We fell asleep that night after making love to one another. It was the middle of the night when I awakened to his touch, his hands against me, his lips locked on top of mine.
“Maggie,” he whispered breathlessly, lying on top of me in the darkness. Our clothes were tossed in a pile in the corner of the room, and I could feel his hot breaths brushing against my neck as he kissed me. His mouth traveled down my body, inch by inch, making it harder for me to catch my breath, which was fine. At that point breathing seemed a waste of time. His hands wrapped around my legs, and he parted them in a slow, controlled manner. I watched attentively as he took his hand and stroked himself. With his other hand, he slipped two fingers inside of me, making me curl my fingernails into the sheets. When his fingers pulled out, he brushed himself against me before he slowly slid inside. I felt myself relax against him with every inch, every thrust, every moan.
Yes. Yes…
He leaned forward and kissed me gently against my lips. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded. Yes. Yes…
He pushed himself in deeper, pulled out slowly, and reentered me over and over again, making my mouth fall open in disbelief. Fast and hard, slow and deep.
Brooks…
How? How could such simple movement feel so… Wow…
He made love to me as if he were apologizing for all the years we missed. With each thrust he silently promised to never love another, and with every wild kiss, I promised him the same.
“You don’t have to speak,” he whispered, running his tongue against my bottom lip, loving me hard, deep, fast, and slow. His mouth grazed against my ear before he sucked it gently. “But by all means, you’re more than welcome to scream.”
28
Maggie
“Indoor or outdoor wedding?” Mama asked Calvin and Stacey the next morning. The dining room ta
ble was completely covered with wedding magazines and planners. Mama hadn’t stopped rushing around ever since she’d found out Calvin was going to propose to Stacey, and once he had called saying Stacey accepted, she’d gone into roadrunner mode. “Oh, have you thought about a destination wedding? Paris. Oh! Bora Bora! What about an autumn wedding? Maybe spring? Spring weddings are always so beautiful, and I just love the peachy blush colors. Have you two picked out colors yet?”
Stacey laughed, leaning against the countertop and flipping through a magazine. She was so effortlessly beautiful, with her caramel skin and curly honey chestnut hair. She always looked so put together with her perfect smile and stunning brown eyes that almost smiled more than her lips. I stood in the kitchen next to the refrigerator, a few steps back from the commotion, drinking my glass of orange juice. They hadn’t turned around to see that I was only a few feet away from the dining room. They were too busy breathing heavily, eating powdered donuts, and staring at Stacey’s ring finger.
I stood up straighter and sipped on my orange juice. Daddy walked into the kitchen with a book in his hand and smiled my way. He came over to me and handed me my next read: Looking for Alaska by John Green.
“A girl was reading it in class yesterday,” he said quietly before picking up a powdered donut hole and popping it in his mouth. “It must be good, seeing as how she ignored my entire lecture.”
I smiled and ran my fingers over the cover of the book. I turned and grinned. Thanks, Dad.
“You’re welcome, Sport.” He leaned back against the refrigerator and stared across the way at Mama and the newly engaged couple. “Wedding planning?”
I nodded.
“I was really hoping they’d elope. We’re going to have a mother-of-the-groom-zilla for the next few months.”
We stood back, watching said mother-of-the-groom-zilla ask more and more questions. Truth be told, it was the most excited Mama had been in a long time. Stacey remained her calm, sweet self as she tried her best to reply. “We haven’t really had much time to decide anything, Katie, but it’s all so exciting, isn’t it?”
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