by Tara Brown
And it’s perfect, for one second. A whole life in a moment.
Ignoring the ache in my chest, I turn and walk to the front doors. They’re barricaded and boarded up, exactly how she said they would be. I have to squat to peek through the gap in the wood. My breath fogs up the glass but as it clears, I pull back, covering my mouth.
My heart feels like it’s stopped as I lean in again, focusing harder and trying to see what I assume happened before they locked it up. I’m praying it did.
There are dead bodies on the floor and the blood is streaked exactly as it was with the other dead zombies, as if it tried to get away.
“Shit!” I can’t figure out how to get inside. The doors are locked and as I run from door to window to door, there’s nothing.
No movement inside at all.
No lights.
No noise.
I’m gasping for air when I round the next corner to find the truck parked and my friends staring at the gaping hole in the wall of the hospital where someone has crashed a vehicle.
Mitch winces when he sees me, and Bev presses her lips together.
They’re all scared for me, with me.
The zombies are gone. He’s lost them while I was trying to find a way in, so Mitch climbs out of the truck. “Maybe they’re hiding on a different floor.”
“Maybe,” I agree and walk to the crash site.
“Tanya!”
“Yeah?” I answer, turning back.
“How can you walk near them?” His tone suggests he’s scared, maybe of me. I would be.
“I think the bite, the nanobots or whatever the hell it is, makes them think I’m one of them. They never attack each other. Have you noticed that?” It’s all I have for an explanation. A guess.
“Right.” He nods and takes a step forward, suggesting he might come with me. “Do you want me to hel—”
“No. Just stay there. They don’t see me, Mitch. I’m invisible. I’ll be back in a minute.” I wave him off and continue to the crashed vehicle. It’s a truck and the windshield has been kicked in. Someone did this on purpose.
That makes me more uncomfortable.
That means that a living person endangered all these lives for something they deemed important enough. Which means they might be crazy.
The hospital is empty of life and noise.
I shiver from the cold and the fear.
Every exhale leaves a bit of mist in the dry air.
I search high and low through the emergency ward, but she isn’t here.
He isn’t here.
Even the dog isn’t here.
The disappointment sits in my heart for a second or two before I force myself to move on. There were two reasons to come to the hospital. And the second is vitally important.
I make my way to the medical supplies in the children’s part of the hospital and find some amoxicillin mixed in a banana flavor. I take gulps of it, remembering when Mason had an ear infection, Mom made him double-dose the first dose. He had to take it for ten days. I grab a second bottle and hope it’ll be enough.
Then I pull my shirt to the side and clean up the bite mark, scrubbing away the gross flesh and dumping antiseptic on it. It burns but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I cover it in antibiotic salve and pocket the rest of the tube. When the bandage is taped in place, I steal a few more of those.
My hands are full when I leave the empty, dark hospital.
The truck has attracted some undead, but Bev draws them to her side so I can climb in the other door.
“Nothing?” Mitch asks as I close the door.
“No. I got some antibiotics and cleaned my bite though.”
“We can swing by your house on the way to mine. We’re only a couple of blocks apart, right?” he says as he gets the truck started again.
“Yeah.” I notice the thumping of dead people on the windows and doors of the truck doesn't bother me anymore.
Maybe that’s how I’m becoming a zombie, I’m numb.
14
Day Nine
“I can fly,” Jeff says as he finishes loading more of the food I got in the back of our new truck. “Just helicopters, and it’s been a while, but it could get us to Boulder a lot quicker. Is there an airport here with some?”
“That might have been handy information in Canada, Jeff,” Bev says. She’s annoyed and bitchy again.
Her family is dead, all bitten and on the front lawn like they tried to save each other and ended up killing one another.
Mitch’s family is gone, no note or anything. It looks like they packed fast in the middle of it all. Escaped. But whereabouts unknown.
Mine left the paper I’m holding in my hands with one word on it, written in my little brother’s shitty writing, “BOULDER!” I know what that means. But I don’t know anything else. Why did my brother write it? Is my mom gone? Did Dad come? Where’s the dog? How did they get to Boulder? Did they make it alive?
So many unanswered questions. And the worst part is I’d placed all my hopes on Billings. I believed the end of the road, the end of this tiring bullshit, was here.
But it’s not.
“I did say I flew helicopters, Bev. We didn't see any.” Jeff’s getting zesty back at her.
“You okay?” Mitch asks, standing in front of them as they bicker, maybe blocking them out for me.
“I’m fine. I’m just worried.” The what-ifs have taken over.
“I know. I’m worried too. I can’t even imagine where my family would go. My dad’s a techie and my mom’s a principal.” He wrinkles his nose. “Not much hope there.”
“You never know. If this is a nanobot apocalypse, then the techies are the ones who caused it. They’re more powerful than anyone imagined.”
“Oh, I don't doubt the powers that be knew all along just how powerful and important the techies were.” He puts a hand gently on my shoulder but it’s different now, as if he never told me his feelings for me. He hasn't held my hand since he saw the whole zombie bite thing.
Though he’s reaped rewards from my being immune. I strolled right into Walmart and got us stuff: food, drinks, guns, clothes, and all the supplies we might need, like it was nothing. I came out with two carts filled to the brim, and I bagged my own groceries. And not one zombie, though I saw plenty in there, gave a rat’s ass what I was doing.
It was crazy.
Then we parked in the middle of a field and took turns having a ‘dump jugs of water over your head in a bathing suit’ shower and we all got our hair washed. It was magical to get clean again. Even if the water was cold and the air around us was freezing, it was refreshing. Like getting clean in a plastic scented waterfall.
“Well, maybe if you hadn’t been so selfish, Louis would be alive!” The fighting has escalated, and Jeff shouts the thing that shuts Bev up. Her lower lip quivers and she turns, running into the field crying.
She doesn't defend herself, leaving me to wonder what the hell happened.
“Hey,” Mitch growls, leaving to scold Jeff. “We don't need to point fingers. What’s done is done.”
“I know,” Jeff groans, running his hands through his hair. “Fuck!” He doesn't cuss much. In fact, he doesn't get upset much either, so it’s a bit shocking to see him this way. He turns and stomps after her.
She’s sobbing so he wraps his arms around her and hugs her to his chest. He kisses the top of her head and whispers something. He’s visibly drowning in regret, and I feel awful for him despite what he said.
“What the hell happened to Louis?” I whisper. “Why does Bev feel responsible?”
“She’s not. He made his choices.” Mitch’s tone is gruff.
“Tell me,” I insist quietly.
“The day we left you guys, we made it to a shopping center Jeff knew about,” Mitch whispers back, his eyes on them but his soft words are for me. “Took hours to get there but we found a small bus that was locked. We were in the middle of trying to get it open when Bev said she was going to check ou
t the Starbucks there. She wanted to get a Refresher and was pretty sure she could make us all one. Jeff told her no, to wait. She didn't listen. Louis said he would go with her to keep a lookout.”
“Oh no.” I cringe and wait for the rest of it.
“I guess she tried to get ice from the machine, thinking it would still have some. It made some crazy noise. There was a dormant herd around the far side of the mall we hadn’t noticed. They heard the noise. Next thing we know, all the way across the parking lot we hear this screaming, the herd coming with them two running as fast as they could. Needless to say, she runs way faster than Louis.”
“Shit.”
“Yup. And we couldn't get a vehicle, so we ran as far as we could go. They were still chasing us, and more were coming. We ran to the side of a building where a ladder was, climbed it and stayed up there all night long with them surrounding the building. They went dormant there, and we didn’t have a way off the building.”
“That’s why you didn't come back?” I can’t imagine how they must have felt.
“Yup. Eventually, some vehicles drove by, drawing the zombies away. We got down; we knew it was past the time you guys would wait. And if you were still there, we didn't want to risk drawing zombies that way. So we got a car, headed for the border and hoped we would catch you on your way home. But we didn't get lucky like you. We ran into some crazy people, they robbed us. Tried to take Bev. Jeff fought one of the guys, zombies came, he managed to get a gun from the guy he was fighting and shot them in the heads. The guys saw Jeff kill the zombies and got scared. They ran off. It was intense.” His eyes stay on them. “The whole thing was crazy.”
“It still is. Poor Louis.” I reach for him but he flinches so I pause and pull back.
“Sorry.” He tries to recover but there isn’t a way back from this.
“It’s fine.” I wave it off. “Let’s finish loading the food back in and get out of here before someone comes.” I grab a bag of groceries from the ground and put it into the wet truck bed. We showered in the truck, so we didn't end up with muddy feet, which meant unloading everything we’d stolen.
“Tanya—”
“It’s fine. I get it, Mitch. And I don't really want to talk about it. I know, I’m a freak.”
“You’re not a freak.” He grabs my arm, making me wince. “Oh shit, sorry. Wrong arm.” He pulls back as I place a hand on the bite mark. Since I cleaned it, it’s been aching.
“It’s fine, seriously.” I honestly don’t want to discuss my freakiness. Or the fact he said he liked me and now he’s pulled away. It hurts, but at the same time, I also don't know how to deal with my situation.
“Let’s go!” Mitch calls the other two, giving me one more pained glance before getting into the driver’s seat.
A bit crushed, I climb in the back seat, bringing a banana with me. I hand one to Bev as she gets in and closes the door. She takes it and we eat quietly. I can’t imagine how scared she was when the men tried to take her. I’m glad I know that now. It’s too crazy to imagine but it gives me leeway for her. Allows for some of her mood swings. The terror of that, mixed with the guilt of Louis, must be eating at her.
Mitch drives to the airport, the one we left from at the start of the field trip to fly to Vancouver. As he passes by the parking for the departures side of the small airport, Bev mutters, “This is a real full-circle moment.”
It’s cold and bitter and makes me giggle, which in turn makes her giggle. We’re fully laughing when Mitch parks and the two guys give us matching disgusted stares.
“What is wrong with you?” Mitch asks.
But we can’t answer. We’re laughing too hard. Jeff shakes his head as he climbs out and walks to the hangar with the helicopters.
Mitch grabs bags of food and clothes and follows, scanning the area for zombies.
And we laugh.
We laugh until something happens—I don't know what, but suddenly we both fall quiet and the silence is painful until she says, “I bet Ms. Mara’s car is still in the parking lot.”
“Louis’s is,” I whisper.
Without making a sound, tears silently slip down her cheeks and she sobs.
I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “It wasn't your fault. None of this is anyone’s fault.” I pause, realizing I’m wrong. “Well, that’s not true. Someone is to blame, but I guarantee we will never get the chance to meet them. Someone made this happen in a lab somewhere. And they’re the reason this happened. And nothing we do trying to survive it is our fault.”
She sniffles and snuggles into me.
Of all the people in our group, I never imagined it would be the four of us still standing. But I’m glad it is.
I squeeze once more and climb out. We grab bags of stuff and carry it to the helicopter.
When we’re inside with the door closed, Jeff starts it up. The noise is almost unbearable until we put on the headsets.
Jeff’s way too excited about this. “It’s older but it works and the tank is full. We should be in Boulder in a few hours.” He turns to Mitch. “Tell me you know the way.”
“It’s easy. You fly southeast and you’ll hit it.” Mitch shrugs.
“Thanks, that was useful,” Jeff shouts and lifts us off the ground. My stomach tightens with the fear of his flying capabilities, but within a few seconds were actually moving forward and he seems to know what he’s doing.
“If you follow the highway, I can direct us that way!” Mitch shouts.
“Okay,” Jeff shouts back. Between the two of them this is possibly going to work.
I cross my fingers and pray silently, Please God. Please let them be in Boulder.
She or he or they don’t answer. They never do. But the tingle in my skin convinces me that maybe, just maybe, someone is listening.
When we fly over Boulder hours later, I’m convinced someone is listening.
A voice comes over the radio, remarkably normal sounding, “Rogue helicopter coming in from the north, who are you and do you have any bitten on-board?”
“We’re four from Billings, no bitten,” Jeff replies. He and Mitch glance at me. “You’re not technically a zombie.”
“I’m bitten, Jeff. I could be contagious. We have to tell them when we get there.” I hate this, but it’s true. If I were somehow able to infect the healthy, I’d hate myself. What if I got Mason sick? Or Mitch?
“Okay, well let’s not rush into anything,” Mitch says calmly. “Let’s get a feel for the base first. Because if they’re not going to listen about you being immune and are just going to shoot you, I’m not down for that.”
“Me either,” Jeff agrees.
“Nope,” Bev mutters and grips my hand. “I don’t think you’re contagious.”
“I hope not,” I offer with a sigh and let them all decide. They’re detached from it all, whereas I’m feeling like patient zero.
“You’re cleared to land. Follow the markers in the southeast corner of the city,” the voice says.
“Roger that,” Jeff replies with an official sounding response.
I’m tense and scared when we touch down, sort of the opposite of how I thought I might be. We’re surrounded by military, men with guns and stone-cold expressions.
They’re shouting from the moment the doors open, and we are ushered away from the chopper. They say things to Jeff, asking him questions of our journey as we run.
Mitch moves closer to me as we get to a building where the metal doors open and a man with a hard stare is waiting for us.
It’s not at all what I thought we might find; I assumed they’d be excited we were alive and normal-ish. But they’re official and angry and asking questions.
Bev steps forward, explaining who we are and what happened and how we ended up with a Canadian. Mitch adds details she forgets.
“And what about you?” the man asks me, silencing everyone else.
“Excited to see military and a city that doesn’t seem to have been infected.” I don’t know what else t
o say. “I’m looking for my brother and possibly my parents. They came in from Billings. I don’t know when.”
“You’ll be given housing, jobs, rations, and the expectations are that you will all pull your weight.” His eyes dart to me. “And as for your family, we have a registration. Once you’re signed in, you can try to find their names.”
It’s the most hope I’ve had in a week.
Even if I think this guy will kill me.
Maybe.
15
Day Twenty
My footsteps on the pavement seem too noisy but they belong here, even in the dark, cold night. The city is a fortress of safety, but I squeeze Mason’s small hand as I steer him to the left. Not that I need to, he remembers where we live better than I do.
“What time is Mom off?” he asks as he opens the gate to our small house. Six of us live here. My mom, my brother, me, and my friends.
“Eleven,” I answer him and notice my eyes continue to scan the dark shadows here. I don’t trust this city, and I don’t know why. The moment we arrived, I felt uneasy and it hasn’t left. “Go and brush your teeth, okay?” I mutter as I open the front door and let him go in first. “Please.”
“Fine, but I’m reading!” He gives me attitude and I smile. I missed him. And Mom. The reunion was weirdly intense. Mom sobbed like I have never seen before. She kissed Mitch and Jeff a lot, too much actually. Mason cried but he was embarrassed. He didn’t want Mitch and Jeff to see him upset. I found out then that Dad wasn’t with them. It was a bad moment, realizing my father was likely dead. Mom had stories and Mason had big eyes as she told them and he nodded along. And the beagle was fine. Is fine. Is sleeping on the sofa as we enter the house. The little brat barely lifts an eyelid to see it’s us.
“Good evening, Buster.” I scratch his head as I close the door and point upstairs before my brother can argue.
He’s loud on the stairs and the dog is off the sofa, running after him.
Two peas in a sassy pod.