by Tara Brown
“I suppose all of it.” He scowls and walks to the window, turning his back to me. “Sometimes I can’t help my reactions. When I first was bitten and changed, the bots helped me control my temper better.” His eyes are a storm. “When she”—he takes a deep breath—“Grace, when Grace died, something changed in me. I lost a measure of my control. But I’m hoping to regain it. I’m working on it.”
“You hung me in a water cistern.” I take a step back, trying to ignore the gorgeous tray of food. Of course, Lester made it look stunning. “Clearly, it’s not going well.”
“I was testing you, not torturing you. I knew you would heal. And even if it was cruel, let’s not forget you killed Dr. Jacquard. Did you really think I wouldn’t react to that?” He turns and faces me, and I take a journey through my mind, recalling how it felt to have him so close that I could taste him in the air.
My breath is ragged as I step away from him once more.
“You don’t need to be afraid. I understand what you were doing. Dr. Jacquard was a friend of your father’s and a colleague. He wanted to ensure your usefulness to me would never end.” He shrugs. “Which it won’t. I was never going to kill you anyway.” The statement is matter-of-fact.
His honesty makes the lie between us regarding Dr. Jacquard feel heavy and dirty. I want to tell Liam that I wasn’t being honest, but I don’t. I press my lips shut and realize this conflict inside me is a war with the bots. They want me to be with Liam.
That makes me curious about something.
“How do you feel about me?” I ask.
“What?” he questions with a margin of humor in his tone.
“Feelings, what are your feelings for me?” I should be more cautious with him, but I suspect a direct approach is probably better.
“I don’t know.” He furrows his brow, making a face that suggests he’s pondering that. “Why?”
“We don’t know each other. We’ve met a couple of times, but we speak to one another like we’ve been friends our whole lives. My comfort level with you is weird. Like super weird. There’s something there.” I offer the very least I can and his eyes light up. “And I’m wondering if you feel it too.”
“You mean an unexplainable connection and an attraction you don’t understand?” He walks toward me, his voice lowering as he speaks, “Like how when you’re alone my face pops into your thoughts for no reason at all?” When he’s right in front of me, my entire body tenses but I don’t move. I wait for the impact. “And for some reason I smell like home and comfort and passion?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“I think about you all the time,” he confesses quickly, moving close enough that I have to step back. He’s too tall and the line of sight is awkward. He lifts his hand, it trembles almost as though he’s fighting what he’s doing, cupping my cheek. “I imagine touching you and it feels just like this.”
Involuntarily, I close my eyes and lean into the embrace. The spark and electricity are just as I recall from the dream, as is the soothing warmth.
“What is this?” Liam asks, answering the question of whether he has something to do with it or it’s all in my mind. Satisfying the part of me that is Dr. Jacquard. “Why do you do this to me?”
“I don’t know.” I lie and open my eyes, gazing up into his. I’m lost in him.
“Don’t lie.”
“The bots want us to be together. Dr. Jacquard thinks they’re trying to make us fall in love. They’re forcing endorphins and pheromones and creating heart palpations and other physical reactions, so we find each other unbearably attractive.” The words are forced from me. They’re not mine.
“He thinks that?” His eyes narrow and I lose him. “Thinks?” He steps away from me, and even with the coldness in him, I am unable to be afraid.
“They want us to love each other.”
“Why?” He’s fighting this too.
“That we don’t know.”
“We?” he asks and I realize what I’ve done. My back straightens and my stomach tightens. “Dr. Jacquard is alive inside you? You can hear him?”
“No.” I shake my head quickly. “His bots answer me. They think with his rationale, but it’s me. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Surely, Dr. Jacquard can,” he snarls and I realize he’s closing off to me. I take a cautionary step back.
“His knowledge and memory and core data stores were transferred to me. His bots contain the information. They also analyzed his rational brain and his problem-solving and intelligence and have started to transform my brain so it thinks as he did, using the information he had. The bots recognize that his mind was far superior to mine, and they’re adjusting me so I am a better version of myself, with his knowledge and brainpower as their baseline. All of this is done to help you.”
We both pause, him no doubt shocked at what I’ve just said, and me shocked at all the information. The bots are changing me. The knowledge, opinions, experience, and foundation are no longer mine. My mind is changing, adapting. Did Dr. Jacquard want this or is it a glitch?
How long before I’m not me anymore?
“How is this possible?” I ask Liam, scared of what I’ve revealed.
“What do you mean, how is this possible?” He is angry with me.
“I mean, why are they doing this to me?” I drop to my knees on the hard wood floor and stare at my hands, my arms, my skin. It’s the same as it was before, but is it? “Every time they fix something, a spot, a mark, a wound, they’re changing it. Renew and refresh and repair. I think it’s altering who I am.”
“You didn’t know this was happening to you?” He sits on the bed and stares at me.
“No,” I admit, keeping the fact the bots tricked me to myself. The idea of it all is scaring the hell out of me. “Of course not. I came here to stop you.” It accidentally slips out. I cover my lips with my trembling hand.
“Did you ingest his bots?” he asks, the anger is gone from his tone although I’ve revealed a horrible truth.
“I did.” My voice wavers, “And not just his.” I can’t fight my want to tell him everything.
He reaches a hand out. I stare at it for a moment before I lift my hand into his and let him pull me up. He slides his butt along the bed and pulls me with him, turning on his back and dragging me farther up the bed with him. He puts my head on his shoulder and we lie as we did in my dream, only reversed.
“I don’t care about anything but you and me. I don’t care how you came to be here. Just that you are.” He strokes my hair, leaning his face into me. He inhales and I suspect he’s breathing me in. “I want to love you, Lou. And I don’t know why. But I trust the bots. I know they’re doing what’s best for us. They want us to succeed. So if you and me loving each other is the way they see us succeeding, I’m in.” He presses his lips against my head and holds them there. “And I count myself lucky that someone so beautiful and strong and intelligent could love me back.”
I know what’s about to happen next. I’m going to roll onto all fours and hover over him. I’ll kiss him and he’ll kiss me back. And it’s going to escalate from there. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’m a hostage in my own body.
But not for long.
Because he’s right, the bots know what’s best.
22
A month later
“The queen, the princess, and I all want to congratulate you on our first harvest!” Liam shouts at the crowd below us, and a burst of pride floods me.
I still tingle when I hear the word “queen.”
I’m his.
He’s mine.
Memories of the moments we have spent proving our love to one another flood my mind and make me blush everywhere. I love him—no, more than that—I adore him. I can’t breathe or eat or drink or sleep without thinking about him.
The crowd cheers, it’s bigger again today. More live bots have come. The siren call is bringing them here. It’s working and we are building faster than e
ver.
Liam lifts my hand, then reaches over and grabs Lee’s, raising our hands into the air. We smile as Liam gives a speech.
“A year ago the world was on track to die. We were locusts, killing the planet. Heating it up faster than ever recorded. We overpopulated this planet to the point that the majority were starving. Disease and deformity were getting out of control. Wars and homelessness and pollution plagued us. We were obsessed with the internet and social media. Our lives were spiraling downward, and we didn’t even notice. Drowning in debt, negativity, and sickness. There was no world to live for. No life to offer our kids. No future.”
He pauses, leaving that darkness there for us to think on.
“And then something terrible happened. That world we knew ended. We were scared and alone and being hunted down by something we didn’t understand. I will never forget watching the first attacks in Florida. It was a horror movie I will remember for the rest of my life.”
His words bring back memories of my own.
They flicker something inside me, feelings I don’t want. Regrets. Pain. Liam gazes back at me, his smile pushes them away. He might remember for the rest of his life, but I have no desire to do that. In fact, thanks to the bots, I’ve almost forgotten everything from before.
“But we were wrong to be afraid. Because the rebirth that came to me the moment I was bitten was beautiful. I was freed of a sickness that plagued me my entire life. Healed and saved. I was shown what love was for the first time, ever. It was a miracle. And you were all saved too. Together we will move forward and heal this planet. We will grow into the kind of future our kids won’t have to fear. And generations to come will have the miracle that is inside us all, protecting us from ever going back. Because we know better now. We are smarter than we were before. Mankind is stronger than it has ever been!”
The crowd erupts, cheering him and his inspiring words.
He squeezes my hand and lets the mob shower him in the adoration he deserves.
He waves and turns, going back through the doors to the hall where there’s a feast being set out. Lee nudges me. I grin at her. We’re beaming. Glowing with health and happiness.
I can’t recall a moment I was more blissful than this one.
When I catch up to Liam, he takes my hand again and walks to the side of the room, pulling me with him. When he finds a quiet spot in one of the alcoves, he spins me so my back is against it and pins me there. He lowers his face and kisses so softly and perfectly.
“How was my speech?” he asks as he places more soft kisses on my cheek.
“Amazing. And accurate.” I lift my head so he can kiss my neck, tracing warmth and breath along my skin, creating shivers up my spine.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispers. “Have I said that yet today?”
“You have.” I smile and close my eyes. “It was around mid-morning. We were in the garden, overseeing the fertilizer being spread so the soil is ready for spring planting.”
“It was rhetorical.” He chuckles and kisses me once more. “I wish we could go upstairs.” He trails a finger along my jaw. “But I have to make sure this is going to be a smooth evening.”
“Don’t be long.” I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him once more.
He walks away and my eyes are stuck on him. Even his back is sexy. The scent of him lingers in the air, making my stomach dance with anticipation of his return.
“Did you figure out the information sharing for the soldiers yet?” Lee asks as she strolls over with a glass of water.
“No,” I answer as my brain switches into a different mode. “I am working on it though.”
“I don’t understand how you became so awesome at fighting. Like where was that downloaded from?” She sighs and leans against the wall.
“I don’t know. It was a moment of growth and evolution. Life or death triggered it I believe. My bots made it a priority for me,” I lie. I haven’t told anyone but Liam that I absorbed bots. A feat I haven’t been able to reproduce in anyone else. It’s strange. I don’t understand why me. Me and no one else?
“It’s so weird. My bots haven’t given me mad skills. Just some help along the way. But nothing like you. You don’t even sound the same anymore. You’re so different I wouldn’t recognize you.”
“I don’t know.” I pout. “I think I’m the same.” It’s another lie and the mope I offer is a manipulation to make her feel bad for saying it. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I can’t have her prying into my peculiar bot situation. Liam and I agreed no one else should know that I have done this, not until I ensure everyone else has that ability. Being able to kill and absorb bots wouldn’t garner me any love from the masses.
Not even if I manage to connect everyone, making the bots communicate like the internet. I haven’t found the information in Dr. Jacquard’s memories yet. The siren call is all we have, and even that is basic.
“No, you’re different. You don’t talk the same or walk the same. You never mention Joey or Gus anymore.”
The words fuzz in my ears and when I try to recall where I know them from, it’s not ringing bells. It’s part of my past, my life before the castle and Liam, but the exact correlation is confusing.
“Anyway, I’ll get you a drink too.” She leaves and instantly my breath is easy again; my chest can expand the way it’s supposed to. I wonder what made it tighten.
The hall begins to fill as the live bots, the people who didn’t become zombies, are welcomed in. The zombies, the drones, are kept out in a new part of the grounds we built for them to live, stables just for them. They’ve finished the main courtyard and the building of the castle. It’s remarkable what they can create.
I find myself wandering, admiring the new tapestries and carved furniture. Liam has accomplished so much. We both have. We are the best team possible. Of course the bots knew we would be.
The dusk air is cool when I step out on the terrace overlooking the lake with the moon sparkling its reflection on the dark water.
I take deep breaths of the dry, crisp air. It’s familiar but I can’t place where I’ve breathed it before.
Before doesn’t matter.
Liam and I agree on that.
Before is nothing.
Now is everything.
I turn and stare into the massive hall where he and Lester have created a beautiful night. Candles are lit, made from wax from our own hives, and linens are placed, created by some of the clean drones. The chairs were carved in five days by two hundred bots. They found the wood at a mill nearby in an abandoned town. It was piled so high the drones at the top of the pile looked like ants.
It’s shabby chic with the old farmhouse wooden furniture and the crisp white linens. Chandeliers with candles in them hang above, creating an opulence we might not have without them.
Drones assemble with instruments, something I’ve taught them to do, make music. They begin to lightly play, filling the night air with a soft bit of Bach. They play it exactly as it ought to be played.
It’s impressive.
Liam speaks with Lester, pointing at something. His eyes narrow and he makes that tense face, the one I don’t like. Lester recoils just slightly and I find myself drawn that way. Liam’s tone is harsh until my fingers touch down on his arm. He softens and takes a deep breath, pausing. “Sorry, Lester. I meant to explain that differently,” he says, then glances back at me. He tilts his face and kisses my cheek.
“Of course, my king.” Lester bows. “I believe I understand what you mean and will take care of it immediately.” He turns on his heel and hurries away.
“You all right?” I ask Liam. He’s tense.
“I am. I just want everything to be perfect.” He spins and smiles at me. The lights of the chandeliers burn in his gaze.
“It’s perfect already. Everything else is extra.”
“No.” He pulls back, half joking. “Only perfection is perfection.” He offers me his arm and walks me back to the cool air of the open doors a
nd the terrace. “This weather is perfect.”
“We’ve been monitoring the weather and comparing it to the old records that Dr. Jacquard had downloaded from the military base. It does seem to be showing signs of a decline in the warming patterns. If we can continue on this trend, we won’t actually go up a degree, and we certainly won’t reach the two degrees they had predicted globally. Our information is limited to this region, but Canada was warming faster than anywhere else on the planet. And particularly this region, so if we are seeing those numbers here, it’s a good sign for the rest of the country, possibly the rest of the planet. And I’ve been analyzing the bots coming in from the East. All the nuclear plants were shut down and cooled properly. We haven’t had a single reactor meltdown.”
“Excellent.” He nods once. The way he stands and the confidence he exudes is incredibly noble. I wonder if he does it on purpose or if this is how he always was. Made for this moment. Since the bots don’t make mistakes, I would have to assume he was made for this. And like he always says, his entire life has brought him to this place.
To me.
And me to him.
He slides his arm behind my back and pulls me to him, fitting me perfectly into the embrace. “It’s weird, isn’t it? We planned for this for so long and now it’s real.”
“Yeah,” I say with a happy sigh.
“I can’t even remember planning it. It’s just there, in my mind. I know I did, but the details are fuzzy. Is it the same for you?” he asks, peering down at me.
“I guess so. I think we’ve just worked so hard to get this ready for winter, so our people are protected, that we’re getting confused on the minor details.”
“The minor details are slipping from me more and more lately. Do you remember how we met?” The words trigger something, a flash.
“California.” I vaguely recall it. “Lee and Lester were there.”
“Yeah, someone else.”
“Harold!” I say quickly. His face pops into my mind and something happens. Something clicks and I get confused. My mind is working slowly, redirecting me to a different thought.