by Adele Niles
God, but Mom would have hated that.
“You shut your mouth, Bryan.” I shook my head, rising. “You don’t talk about our mom like that!”
“Oh my god, Bryn, calm down! It’s true, though!”
He rose as well, unsteady on his feet.
Asshole.
I shook my head, tilted up to look at him. “Mom didn’t just decide to die on us, Bryan! I’m pretty confident that she would rather be alive than dead!”
“Yeah, well, she’s gone. She’s fucking gone.”
“And she wanted me to make sure you didn’t do stupid shit like join a motorcycle gang!”
“It’s not—it’s not a gang! And you’re not suddenly my mom just because she died!”
It was definitely a gang. The King’s Devils were notorious around here, and I wasn’t going to let Bryan think anything else.
“They kill people. They kill people! And they deal drugs, and get into fights with other gangs, and—”
“So what? It’s what I want!”
“You want to kill people?”
“No—” Bryan threw his hands up, groaning. “I want to have friends!”
“These people aren’t going to be your friends.”
“Oh my god, Bryn, will you just—just shut up already?”
“No. Because you’re going to get yourself killed if you fall in with them!”
“You don’t know that. If you would just give them a chance, Bryn—”
“I don’t want to give them a chance!”
Silence fell between us.
It felt like it lasted for hours.
Finally, Bryan shook his head. He turned away from me.
“Fuck you, Bryn,” he said, storming down the hall.
The door to his bedroom slammed shut.
“God dammit, Bryan.” I sank back down on the couch, head in my hands.
He’d been like this since Mom died—angry, argumentative, reckless.
I didn’t want to have to bury my little brother, too.
I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.
I had to do something, just to get myself out of this funk Bryan always got me in.
Maybe it was time to do something I’d been wanting to do for a while.
I shifted forward on the couch, opening my sketchbook again and rifling through the pages. Drawing was my one outlet, my one way of venting and relieving stress. I didn’t have a lot of time to spend with friends since I was working two jobs; days off like this were incredibly rare.
But I had been saving for a little while to do this, and now it was time.
I was going to get a tattoo.
And I knew exactly what I wanted.
I found the page, running my fingers over the design.
It was perfect.
I tore the page out of the sketchbook and rose. I was already dressed, at least, and knew where my purse and shoes were.
I wouldn’t have to walk past Bryan’s bedroom.
I rolled the drawing up carefully and put it in my purse before slinging my bag over my shoulder.
I didn’t bother to tell Bryan I was leaving. He probably wouldn’t have cared, anyway. Shaking my head, I closed and locked the apartment door.
I was going to come back later with new ink, and hopefully a clearer head, so I could talk to my brother a little more calmly.
I just wanted him to understand that I was angry because I loved him.
And that I was fucking scared of losing the last person I had.
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Also by Adele Niles
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