“Speaking of your stepbrother, how did this even happen?” He gives me a speculative look.
I sit back down, gently tugging my hand out of his warm grasp. “Mom married his dad. That’s usually how these things happen.” Yes, that was bitchy, but I am still feeling hurt.
He narrows his eyes at me. “I meant how did you end up living in this house and related, even by marriage, to the family here?”
I bite my lip before I answer him and notice his eyes watch the movement of my teeth punishing my bottom lip. “The man who took us away, the one who my mom agreed to work for? He turned out to be Victor Mason, the wealthiest man in town. I guess my mom got sucked in by him, and they married about a year after we arrived here.”
His voice is tender when he asks, “Is your mom happy? Do you have a good life here?”
How do I answer that?
Turns out I don’t have to because there’s a rattling at the door, followed by Byron’s loud voice saying, “Whoever’s in there, you’ve hogged the space long enough. Open up and let someone else have a turn.”
I see the panic on Cruz’s beautiful face, but I have become a master at lying and schooling my features. I motion for him to stand, then make my way over to the door and unlock it. As soon as I do, Byron opens it and comes into the room, narrowing his eyes when he sees me standing off to the side.
Before he can ask or assume anything, I rush out with, “He needed to use the washroom and the one inside has a line-up. Honestly, he looked like he had to go bad and I brought him here so he wouldn’t embarrass himself.” Yes, I am a vindictive bitch. He deserved that.
Byron looks between the two of us, trying to decipher the truth, but then he chuckles. “I’m betting you, dear sister, were the one embarrassed. Only a chick would think a guy could be embarrassed about having to take a whiz. You do realize he could have used a bush, right? You’re such an idiot.”
I ball my hands into fists at my side, but before I can let my tongue fly, Cruz moves past me and grabs Byron by the shoulder. With a look in my direction and an apology in his eyes, he says, “I thought it was cute. No worries, man. Now, why don’t you introduce me to the chick you promised would give me a proper welcome?”
I feel all the blood leaving my face, which seems to delight my brother. “I hope you have a condom on you tonight because no one does a welcome like the chicks at Haventree Prep. Well, everyone except for the ice princess over here. She has her claws into someone already.”
I watch in horror as Cruz gives me a look I can’t read, then slides out the door without another word. I can feel tears threatening to form, but I refuse to let Byron see how much I’m hurting. He smirks at me and says in a delighted voice, “We both know you like them much older and with deeper pockets.” Then he winks at me and saunters out the door without another word.
I’m used to his digs, but I hate that he implied something in front of Cruz. A guy who no longer knows me and will believe what he hears. I’m also pissed about what Byron said regarding whoever he has waiting for Cruz. My head and my heart are at war and I want to be alone with my thoughts and feelings, but this is a party, and I promised myself I would make a statement tonight. I would remind everyone I belong here just as much as them, and it’s time I acted like it.
And if thoughts of Cruz and his condom spur my actions, I’m the only one who will know.
It didn’t take long for me to find Steph and Carla. I find them by fire, but not alone. Steph has no trouble collecting boys at parties, and this one is no exception. She is busy chatting with a guy on the football team, playfully patting his chest with her designer nails. I shake my head at her and grab the empty chair beside Carla, who is trying to ignore the drunken idiot who is almost completely tipped over in her direction, trying to convince her that she looks like a girl who needs someone to show her a good time. In the state this guy is in, he wouldn’t be able to find his dick to take a leak, let alone anything else.
As soon as she notices me beside her, she gives me a grateful smile and asks, “Where did you go? I’ve been left here to fend off the drunks who think a few beers make them more appealing.” I giggle at that and tell her I needed to cool off after yelling at Byron. She gives me a sad look and asks, “Are you okay? I never realized things were that ugly between you both. I mean, he doesn’t go out of his way to be nice to you at school, but I figured that was typical sibling stuff. I didn’t know, Jolene. You should have told us.”
I look down at my empty hands, wishing I had a drink, then back to her. “He’s the most popular kid at school and both you and Steph have had crushes on him at one point in time. We’ve never gotten along, you know that, but I guess it was just easier for me to let everyone think what they wanted. Until now, I didn’t care what anyone thought.”
She gives me a stern look. “Steph and I aren’t just anyone.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m not hiding it anymore. I will not pretend. I hate him, but I hate his dad more. I can’t wait until I’m free of them both.” I feel my lip tremble and bite it to stop the emotional betrayal. “I want to be me, and I won’t let them hold me down.”
Her eyes soften and she reaches over and gives one of my hands a squeeze. “Nobody knows what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes, but you don’t have to do it alone. Just remember that, and if you ever feel like talking about it, I’ll be here to listen.”
I give her a watery smile and whisper, “Thank you.”
Someone throws an arm around me from behind and Steph leans her head between us. “Why are you both so serious over here? I thought tonight was about fun and frivolity?”
Carla shakes her head at Steph but smiles at me when she says, “That is exactly what we were discussing. Jolene needs a drink so she can show these kids the wildcat she’s been hiding.”
Steph swings her head toward me. “Yeah? I gotta say, after that smackdown you laid on Byron, your claws are looking mighty sharp. Wanna sink them into some boys and see what pops up?”
I can’t help but laugh at her. “Has your mind always been this dirty?”
“It’s like you’ve never met me before. It’s always been this dirty. It’s why you love me. Now, let me tell you this, after you threw down with your brother dearest, half the guys here are a little in love with you already. I’ve been fielding questions about you since you made your dramatic exit. You could probably have your pick tonight. Well, anyone except the new guy. Tisha already has her paws all over him and has been trying to climb his pole.”
I stiffen at that news, but know I have no right to feel this way about who Cruz hooks up with. He was a friend at one time, and now he isn’t even that. I give Steph a very satisfied smile and say with confidence I’m not exactly feeling, “Then I guess I need to find a bigger pole to climb.”
Steph gives out a loud hoot, drawing attention our way. I don’t want to look, but I find my eyes scanning the curious faces around us, and that’s when I see them. Cruz is sitting in a folding chair with Tisha on his lap, molding herself to his chest. He catches my eyes and freezes for a moment - both of us with our gazes locked - then Tisha says something in his ear, and he looks down at her with a lazy smile on his sexy lips.
I stand from my chair and turn around to Steph, who quickly grabs my hand and hauls me away in her excitement. I slap a smile on my face as she leads us over to the house where all the coolers are resting on the grass by the back deck. She reaches in the first one we come upon, but quickly moves to the next when she doesn’t find something she likes.
I take a minute to analyze some of what I am feeling. Cruz was such an important part of my childhood, and it’s possible I remember that picture on a child’s canvas and painted it with a different brush than I would now. It’s just that those memories are the only things that kept me warm in this cold world I have been forced to endure. Am I feeling possessive of him? Possessive of what we had? Maybe. I can’t expect him to be the same boy I knew, and I understand why he doesn’t wa
nt our past friendship to ruin his bright future. God knows I am doing even worse to secure a future of my own. No, I have no right to hold any judgment or hurt against him for not wanting to risk that future. I need to forget the boy I knew and try to give this newer and older version of him a chance to be my friend as we are now. I can do that. I will do that. Besides, there are things about my life I don’t want him to know, and if he were still the same boy I adored as a child, I’d be tempted to tell him everything. I can’t allow that to happen.
Yes, it’s better this way; for both of us.
“Eureka! They were hiding these babies at the bottom,” Steph exclaims and hands a Corona over. Neither of us can tolerate any other beer. “Let’s head inside and see if we can find some lime wedges for these.”
She bounces up the deck stairs and I follow. We push our way into the now-crowded kitchen and over to the center island where all the garnishes and munchies are spread out. We find the bowl with the limes, but before I can stick mine inside the neck of my bottle, Steph grabs my hand and points to two of the cuter guys at our school, eyeing us over the rims of their cups. “Want to do a shot with them? We can put these limes to better use with tequila.”
I hesitate because I’ve never been too adventurous with alcohol in the past, but what better way to cement the new me? Decision made, I hand her my beer, then slide over to the counter with all the bottles of booze lined up like a damn bar, and spot the tequila bottle off to the left. Snagging it by the base, I scoop two shot glasses and turn back around.
She nods her head, then looks around for some salt. There’s a crystal shaker on the counter, so she grabs it and then tips her head toward the guys who are now smiling at what we are obviously up to. She walks around the island and slinks up beside the tallest of the boys. He’s cute with a crop of blonde hair and smiling brown eyes. She tosses her hair over her shoulder and asks in a siren’s voice, “Can I interest you in licking me?” The guy’s eyes nearly bug out of his head at her innuendo. She’s shameless.
I walk around and hand her a glass and place the bottle on the counter near her hip. The other boy isn’t as tall as his friend, but he is broader and has more muscle on his arms, which is obvious through the thin material of his long-sleeved shirt. His hair is long and straight, just brushing his shoulders with their dark, blonde strands. His eyes are a nice shade of blue, and he isn’t even trying to hide that he likes the way I look, as he scans down my body and then comes back up to rest on my face with a wide smile. His voice is deep and smooth as he introduces himself. “My name’s Dean, and you’re Byron’s infamous sister, Jolene.”
I allow my own eyes to travel down his body and then back up, slowly. I’m rewarded by his audible swallow when I meet his eyes again. “Well, Dean, I’m not sure what to say about that. Should I be offended?”
His smile drops slightly, but he gets points for not losing eye contact. “Not at all. You’re a hot topic with the guys at school, but only because you’re the prettiest girl there and none of us have been allowed to ask you out. Byron makes sure everyone knows his sister is off limits.”
Nothing I didn’t already know or suspect, but I like that this guy is being upfront about it, so I reward him by leaning in and whispering close to his ear, “Byron no longer has any say in what I do, or who.” I don’t know where this is coming from, but I like the slight intake of breath I hear from Dean as I breathe my words against the skin of his neck. I take an appreciative sniff of the cologne on his skin and then lean back.
I watch a wicked smile curl around the corners of his mouth. “That’s good to know.”
Steph interrupts our little flirtation by grabbing my hand. “Lick your hand so I can place the salt on it. The guys are going first.” I do as she says and then watch as she sprinkles the salt over the back of my hand where I licked the skin. She tells me to open my mouth, where she places the lime wedge between my lips. My eyes widen when I realize her intent with these shots, but I’m not about to back out now. She winks at me, then does the same with her own. She hands each of the guys a shot glass with tequila, then faces her partner.
I feel the nerves buzzing in my body and wish I had drained my beer before she did this. I’ve never done tequila shots with a partner before, so I innocently assumed we would lick our own skin and suck the limes ourselves. My inexperience has never been more obvious, and it annoys me. I hold my mouth higher for Dean and my hand out for him. I’m doing this, damn it!
He smiles delightedly at me and accepts my hand in his own larger one. He brings it slowly toward his mouth, appearing to relish the moment. I watch in fascination as his tongue comes out and laps seductively against my suddenly sensitive skin. He is very thorough and leaves no grain of salt behind. A small shiver travels down my spine from the eroticism of the act and the desire I’m reading in his eyes. He throws the shot back quickly and then brings the hand not holding the shot glass to my face, placing it on my cheek. I’m holding my breath as I watch his face closing in on mine. With infinite care, he wraps his soft lips around the lime and sucks the juice from between my lips without removing it.
My heart gives a hard thud against my chest and I feel my frozen breath waiting for permission to be released. I’ve never even been kissed before. Well, not as a teen and not one I didn’t instigate. Not that this is a kiss, but it’s damn close. His tongue snakes out and licks the stray juice from my bottom lip and an embarrassing moan slips out from between my parted mouth. I close my eyes, afraid to see the look on Dean’s face after that.
Fingers ghost down the side of my face as his lips move away from me, and I bring my hand up to remove the lime, refusing to meet his eyes when I finally open mine. He places a finger under my chin and lifts my face, so I have no choice but to look in his eyes. They are blazing back at me with a heat that is unmistakable, but all he says is, “That was the sexiest shot I’ve ever done. Thank you.”
I feel a blush staining my cheeks, but I smile and whisper, “You’re welcome.”
He winks at me, licks the back of his hand, taking the salt from his friend, and places the lime wedge in his mouth that Steph hands him. She places the shot glass in my hand and raises hers to mine for a salute. As we clink glasses, she gives me an impish smile. “Bottoms up, babe. Here’s to our busts, and the boys that want us.”
My eyes widen and I burst into giggles over her inappropriate toast. She distracted me from my nerves, though. Still laughing slightly at her, I turn back to Dean and lift his hand to my mouth. I’m not brave enough to look in his eyes while I do this, so I quickly lick the salt from his skin in one sweep. His skin is warm and there is a slight prickle from the fine hairs on the back of his hand. I release him and toss my shot back before I can think about the nasty taste and almost choke when it hits my throat. My eyes water and I am so desperate to chase the horrible flavor away, that I place the glass behind me on the counter, then dive at Dean’s mouth for the lime. I barely notice his deep groan as I attack him, but I most definitely notice the hands that latch onto my hips and drag me against his body. A body that has a very prominent bulge pressing against my stomach.
A shudder goes through me, and I haven’t decided if it’s from excitement or revulsion, when a nasty voice is heard throughout the room saying, “Looks like the dirt princess has finally taken her chastity belt off and she’s starting with the hockey team.”
I jerk back from where I was pressed against Dean and spin around to see Tisha and Cruz standing inside the kitchen door. She looks downright gleeful over her barbs, but Cruz is fighting a dark look on his face and losing.
He grabs her hand and storms them both back out the door before I can even digest what just happened.
Whatever high I was feeling moments ago quickly plummets, and I’m left very low. Before anyone can see how much her words hurt me, I run out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the safety of my room. I lock the door, throw myself on the bed, and wish I never left this room at all tonight.
Enemie
s and Friends
Steph banged on my door until I let her in, and she saw for herself that I was okay, or at least not planning any self-harm. I would allow none of those kids to make me feel like my life was worthless. I convinced her to go back and enjoy the party and to just leave me alone to lick my wounds. She asked if I wanted her to get revenge on Tisha for me, but I wouldn’t let that bitch lower me to her level. I was feeling sick from the shot anyway, so it was enough to convince Steph to leave me alone.
Before she left, she did slyly mention that Dean asked her for my cell number, but I told her I wasn’t ready to go there yet. She rolled her eyes at me and said, “You realize you left the poor guy in quite a state when you pulled your disappearing act, right? And let me tell you, if the bulge in his pants is any indication, that boy has one impressive stick.”
I laughed at her crude observation and winked at her. “It was hard to miss since he was pressing it up against me.”
She gave me a high-five and told me to consider giving him my phone number anyway, just so I could further investigate the size of his equipment. She really has no shame.
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