I can feel my cheeks burning as I push myself up and notice I’m close to the chairs we’d been sitting on. Cruz sees my look of confusion and assures me, “I grabbed you before you fell. Dad told me to get you on the ground and stretched out.”
I’m grateful, but I want to forget this happened. “Can we just sit back in our chairs and finish what we were talking about. I guess it was just a shock, is all.”
Jake sighs and rakes his hands through his hair. “There’s not much left to tell. The folks in our neighborhood had a grand time running the gossip mills about Maria and Cade being together, and they were horrible to your momma about it. So, that’s why she didn’t want to encourage them to start new rumors about us and have it mentioned in front of you both when you were little kids. She promised she’d be back, but I guess she fell for your new dad and made a life here instead.” Bitterness and regret tinge his voice, and heartbreak is written on his face.
Cruz stands and offers me his hand. I take it gratefully and allow him to lift my weight from the ground. I’m a little wobbly, but otherwise good. I grimace at what Jake surmises about my mom and Victor. “She didn’t fall for him. He was blackmailing her.”
He goes perfectly still and gives me a very hard look as he asks, “What do you mean?”
Sitting sounds good, so I move back to my seat and get comfortable. “Exactly what I said. I don’t know what he had over her. I was hoping you would. Do you think it has anything to do with what you just told me?”
Cruz takes the seat beside me again and addresses his dad. “Jo told me about this last night and asked if there was anything, we knew of that he could use against her mom. Dad, is there more to the story you’re not telling us?”
Jake is already shaking his head. “No. Deanna was sweet and kind to everyone. Even with the scandal around the accident, most people just liked to remind her that she didn’t find happiness on the other side of the tracks. They also wanted to dig for the inside scoop; to see if she knew about it. She didn’t know about Maria, but she knew that jerk wasn’t faithful to her… hadn’t been from the beginning. I asked her once why she stayed with him, and she told me her pride wouldn’t let her come back home.” He looks at me with an apology in his eyes. “Your Grandpa was pretty awful to her when she left. He regretted it afterwards and spent the last of his years making up for failing his daughter by doting on you. I can’t see any of that being used as blackmail.”
I blow out a breath of frustration. I feel like I’ll never know the real reason she stayed with Victor. Any hope of discovering the secret and using it to buy my freedom seems even lost. “I guess she took the secret with her.”
Jake is watching me carefully. “If that’s true, why are you still living with this guy? Did he adopt you?”
I almost laugh at the absurdity of that. “No. Mom made a deal with him that I could stay and finish my years of school and he would pay for my college tuition and expenses. It was her last wish, and he agreed. There is a legally binding contract, but I have to remain under his roof to claim it or be in a college residence. After I complete a college degree of my choosing, he’s no longer responsible for my finances and care.”
Jake's studying me as he processes what I said, and what I haven’t. “Is he good to you, Jo? Was he good to your momma, even if he used blackmail to keep her?”
I have to choose my words carefully now. “He wasn’t violent or abusive, if that’s what you want to know? I can’t say what their relationship was like. Mom never discussed that with me, but he wasn’t mean around her. She didn’t love him; I can tell you that. I think Victor, in his own way, must have loved her, or something close to it. He’s a man used to ruling an empire, which means he’s also gone a lot. I don’t spend a lot of time with him, even when he’s home.” I say, thinking I handled that well.
Cruz places his hand on my bouncing knee, the only betrayal of my nerves. I’m touched by that small gesture of comfort, and my nerves settle.
His dad aims an indulgent smile at the placing of his son’s hand. “If this is the path, we were all meant to walk so you would both find each other when the time was right, so be it. Love never comes without sacrifice, and I think you’ve both suffered enough for the sins of others. My story ended with Deanna, and now it’s time for you both to write your own story. Make it have a happier ending than ours did,” his blinks the shine from his eyes, “and let nothing stop you from chasing that happiness. If you two kids will excuse me, I think I’ll head into the shop for a little while.” He smiles warmly at me. “It did my heart good to see you again, Jo-Jo Bug. Don’t be a stranger, you hear? Make sure this son of mine behaves while I’m gone, and that he brings you back for dinner one night, okay?”
I stand and launch myself into his arms, where he catches me and squeezes me to him. “I promise, Mr. C. I’ll be around so much that you’ll get sick of seeing me.”
He chuckles quietly. “Never, my girl. And call me, Jake. That other name was fine when you were young, and I didn’t feel so old.”
I laugh against his shoulder. “Deal.”
He releases me and gives me one last look, saying, “So much like your mother. My poor boy didn’t stand a chance against you.”
I feel a blush heating my cheeks and look down to hide my pleased smile. He moves over to Cruz, and I turn my head and watch him clasp his shoulder and lead him away to say something quietly. Cruz goes rigid at what his dad says, then shakes his head and whispers back to his dad. Jake nods at whatever Cruz is telling him, then says something else before leaving to head out.
Cruz blows his bangs from his face and then comes back over. I’m curious about what they discussed, but I don’t want to pry. He holds out his hand and I immediately take it, causing a grin to spread across his perfect lips. “Do you need to be home, or do you want to do something? Dad said I could take the day off if we wanted to spend time together.”
I smile and say, “That sounds nice. I don’t need to rush home. Do you have somewhere in mind?”
He asks me awkwardly, “Is this a date, or two friends hanging out?”
I feel my breath catch on the word “date” and my stomach gives an excited flip. “What do you want it to be?”
He chuckles. “Turning it back on me, are you?” He raises an eyebrow and I giggle. Then his face becomes serious. “Okay, time for some honesty. I wanted to take this slowly and for us to get to know each other again, but isn’t that what dating in the beginning is anyway?”
“I guess? Remember, I’ve never dated before.” I say the last bit with a hint of embarrassment and glance away from his face.
“Jo, look at me.” I look back and fall into the deep blue of his eyes and the sincerity I find there. “I’ve never dated, either. I’ve fooled around with girls, sure, and I told you that, but I didn’t want to date anyone seriously… until now.” My heart trembles against my chest at his admission. “I also like the idea of being your first boyfriend.”
Speaking of firsts, I need to talk to Steph, and soon, but I don’t let that thought ruin this moment for me. “I’d like that too.”
“So, we’re doing this, then? You’ll be my girlfriend? You know this means you have to wear my football jersey too, right?” I know he’s only half joking about that. It’s obvious that football means a great deal to him, as does the idea of me wearing his jersey.
I tease him. “You’ll be washing the jersey first since I don’t want to smell like a boy’s locker room.”
He grabs a lock of my hair and tugs it gently. “Brat. Yes, it’s washed and clean. And just so you know, my sweat smells like roses.”
I laugh and place my hand against his chest, looking at a face that is so familiar, yet new in a way that leaves me slightly breathless. “Actually, you’ve always smelled like the best parts of my childhood, and everything that made me feel safe and happy.”
He moves closer so that our bodies are almost touching and leans down into my personal space, staring at my lips, which tin
gle with his focused gaze on them. “And now I want to be the best part of your future, and to keep you safe and happy.” He swallows, and I watch in fascination at how sexy his throat looks as he does. I fall back into his eyes and feel my legs tremble at the intense way he’s regarding me. He glances back down at my lips, and I bite my bottom one in a nervous reaction. “Jo, get your teeth out of that lip.”
I release it and ask, “Why?”
“Because I’m going to kiss you now.” His voice is a husky purr, and I want to melt into a puddle on the garage floor from the way it sends shivers down my spine and weakens my knees.
He leans in slowly and places his lips lightly against mine, softly caressing them and moving his head to a better angle, then licks the spot where I had been nibbling with my teeth. I part my mouth on a shallow exhale, and he seals our lips together and really kisses me.
He slides his free hand through my hair, holding my head as he brands my lips with his own. His tongue slides against mine and encourages me to engage in the play. His mouth is eagerly - and expertly - molding and gliding against my own, inspiring tingles to spread throughout my body - lingering in places that are being awoken by his passion. I move my hand from his chest and grip his shoulder to bring my body even closer, causing him to groan into my mouth when we press together. He releases our hands and bands one of his strong arms around me, gently placing his hand against my back, deepening the contact between us.
It’s my turn to make an excited noise at what our bodies feel like this close together, and his kiss becomes more aggressive; more dominant and exciting. I’m reminded of my bumbling attempt at kissing him when we were ten. This is nothing like that, but I still feel like I’m bumbling. I allow him to lead this dance of lips and tongues, trusting he will show me the rhythm. His kiss is everything I dreamed my first real kiss would be like. I’m aware of the difference between the way Cruz brings me alive in his arms and the kisses I shared with Dean. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is the way it’s supposed to feel. And I can admit that it makes me think of doing more than just kissing. My body is yearning for things it’s never known.
It’s strangely terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
When our bodies are rubbing and grinding vigorously against each other - and his arousal is evident against my stomach - he slows the kiss and gently pulls away, resting our foreheads together while we catch our breath. “I never knew it could be like that,” he whispers between us.
“Like what?” I ask breathlessly.
“Like I need your lips more than I need a breath. Like I could kiss you forever and it still wouldn’t be enough.”
My lips tremble and my eyes blur slightly with tears. “Grammy was right.” My heart feels the echo of her words and the promise of what they mean.
He smiles and says, “She was.” He looks into my eyes and I see a mirror to my own soul in their depths. “You’ve always been mine, Jo.”
“Always together,” I say with new confidence.
“Forever,” he replies, from the promise we made as kids.
A promise that has a new meaning and endless possibilities.
We end up going for a drive to one of the small lakes on the outskirts of town. It’s a local spot where families take the kids to swim and some men like to fish. There are gazebos with picnic tables under them and a few small stands that sell food and ice cream in the summer. They’re closed now for the season, but the park area remains open until the lake freezes. There are some hiking trails for the adventurous, but I'm only wearing sandals, so we walk along the sandy shore of the lake and enjoy the sound of the water and the warmth of the sun. The nights are already getting cold, so people are out and enjoying the last few warm days before they turn colder too.
Cruz is holding my hand. He stops and points to a small mound of sand that’s dry. “Do you want to sit for a bit?”
“Sure,” I reply and tuck my dress as I lower myself to the ground. I watch as he folds his body down beside me, admiring the shift of muscles and the fluid way he moves. I turn my gaze away and stare across the lake before he notices me checking him out. I’m still feeling my way around this new side to our relationship. I’m not sure if I should ogle him so openly.
He quickly takes my hand and laces our fingers together. “What do you think about the secret my dad told us?”
I’ve been trying to process my feelings and don’t know if I can even put them into words. “For starters, I never even knew my father’s real name. No one spoke about him around me, even when I begged for the smallest bit of information. It sucked growing up not knowing a damn thing about the man who contributed to my DNA.”
I look back at him and watch his face scrunch up adorably. “At least you have a name now. I don’t even have that. Dad tried to be gentle with me about how my mom got pregnant and what she was like, but I’m not an idiot. I could connect the dots and form an idea about the person she was. The fact she didn’t even know who knocked her up was a big clue. He’s shared happy memories he has of her, so I know she wasn’t a bad person, just not one who made good choices.” His face is etched in sadness as he says, “Like the choice to hurt your mom. I’m sorry she did that. No wonder your mom wanted to leave when people talked again. That had to kill her.”
“No, Cruz. I’m sure it hurt, but I remember the look she would get whenever I asked about my dad, and it wasn’t one filled with sadness. He sounded like a real winner, according to your dad. He was the guilty party for cheating, not your mom. I honestly don’t want to know anything more about him. It sounds like the less I know, the better. Can we talk about something else?” I want to leave the man who fathered me in the past where he belongs.
He squeezes my fingers and says, “Of course.” He pauses for a beat, then asks, “What was it like for you growing up here after living on the other side?”
I look back at the lake and watch a family of ducks make ripples in the water as they swim in formation. I’m not sure how to answer that, but I try. “The kids here are a different breed. I felt like I’d been transplanted into another world. I didn’t really fit in on the other side - you remember how I was - but I stuck out like a weed among prize-winning flowers here. The girls were mean, and the boys teased me. When Victor took charge of my wardrobe, some hostility went away, but they knew I wasn’t like them, and they enjoyed reminding me of it. I missed you like crazy and wasn’t interested in making new friends, but Steph was hard to resist.” I smile wistfully as I remember a young and vibrant girl who declared we would be friends, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Even back then, she was a force of nature. She eventually wore me down, and she’s been like a sister ever since.”
“I like her already,” Cruz says from beside me.
Smiling, I continue. “When we started at Haventree, we met Carla. Again, Steph bulldozed her way over the poor girl, and we became a trio. The kids at school still teased me about coming from across the tracks, but it was easier to tolerate with friends who were quick to defend me. It also didn’t hurt that Byron was so popular, and Victor’s money was a source of envy for most of the girls. They quickly saw me as a means for them to get closer to Byron or to get an invitation to the parties at our house. There are only a few that still give me a hard time about my beginnings. Honestly, I won’t miss this life when I go to college.”
He’s quiet beside me. I continue to look at the water and feel him shifting as he moves closer. I hear him sigh before he finally speaks. “I guess I should’ve expected that answer. It wasn’t as bad for me. I went to a school in the middle of town. Not a poor area, but not rich like it is here. I made a few friends, but no one that I considered close. I focused on helping my dad and making sure I got good grades, so he’d be proud of me. By this time, I knew he wasn’t my real dad, but I respected and loved him even more because he chose me to be his son. Besides, blood doesn’t make you a family.”
I agree and say, “No, it doesn’t.”
“When I
got to high school, I joined the football team, as you know. That became another way for me to spend my energy and keep my mind from thinking about you so much. I worried that you’d go back to the other side of the tracks, as your mom promised, and you wouldn’t be able to find me. Dad told me he still had friends he spoke to and they would let him know when you both returned. I was losing hope, but Dad never did. He was waiting for her and believed she’d come back to him.”
Guilt and sorrow lay heavy on my heart at his admission. “If there was a way, she would have.”
“I know that now. Anyway, the day I got the invitation to attend Haventree, I told my dad I didn’t want to go. I was happy where I was, but somehow he knew where you guys ended up, and he told me there was a chance you would be at the new school.” I turn and look at him and he is staring back at me with a pained look on his face. “Jo, I came to Haventree for you. The scholarship was a nice bonus, but it was the hope I would finally see you again that sold me on coming here.”
My lip trembles and I have to bite it, so I don’t cry.
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