Tears sting my eyes and I rip the stupid eye mask off my face. “Yes! I’ve never done this before. I just wanted to spare you from having to deal with my stupid virginity.”
Cruz looks at me with disgust. “By having sex with some random stranger in a bar bathroom? It could have been even worse than that. You could have changed your mind when the moment came, and your random stranger wouldn’t have stopped. You could have been raped! That’s sparing me? How does that spare me from anything, Jo? Have you any idea how I feel right now knowing you’d rather have your first time with anyone other than me?”
I didn’t think of it that way, but I need to make him understand that I want our first time to be special, not mechanical. “I want our first time together to be romantic and magical, not you holding back and worrying about hurting me and checking to make sure I’m okay. I want it to be about us, not my hymen.”
“And you think it wouldn’t be perfect just because you’re a virgin? Do you think I’m some asshole who wouldn’t take the time to care for you, regardless? Sex is more than a physical act, Jo. There are emotions involved if you’re with the right person. Did you stop to think how sleeping with someone else is the definition of cheating? I guess it’s okay for me to scratch my itch with a nameless person too, huh? How would that make you feel?” His voice is louder and deeper with his anger. I’d worry about drawing attention to us, but there’s no one around.
“This is different. I wasn’t doing it for pleasure.” And there goes my stupid mouth again.
He chokes on what he was about to say and shakes his head. His eyes are more hurt now than angry. “It would have destroyed me. You had to know that.”
My tears piss me off and I swipe at them, not caring if I ruin my makeup. “How do you think I feel knowing you had your first with someone other than me?”
Widening his eyes, he asks, “Is that what this is about? You wanted to even the field?”
I look down at the ground, not even able to meet his eyes at the moment. “No, it was about saving us both.”
“How are you saving us by sleeping with someone else? That’s how you’ll ruin us,” he growls.
The pressure is building in my chest and I scream with the pain it brings. He pushes off the wall and reaches out his hand, but I move away. “You don’t understand,” I say between clenched teeth.
I watch his hands ball into fists, and he leans in close to my face, yelling, “Then make me understand. No secrets and total honesty, right? Tell me why you wanted to do this to us?”
“Because Victor wants my virginity for himself and threatened to kill you if you took it,” I scream at him. I can barely breathe from the adrenaline dumping into my system and I’m close to passing out.
The silence after so much yelling is almost louder than our raised voices were. It has weight and sounds all of its own. I cast my eyes wildly, needing something to focus on besides what I just admitted to Cruz. God, what have I done? He will be so disgusted, and I won’t survive that from him.
My fight response is gone, and my flight response is kicking into high gear. I’m just about to turn and flee when Cruz grabs my arms and brings his face down to mine, forcing me to either look at him or look away. I close my eyes to brace myself for what I’ll see in his, then open them and lock onto his gaze. So many emotions cross his face, but his eyes are horrified. “What did you just say?” I shake my head. I can’t repeat that again. “Are you telling me that asshole who calls himself your father wants to fuck you?”
I wince at his harsh language, not liking how it sounds coming from his mouth. I drop my eyes, and whisper, “Yes.”
“Jo, has he touched you? Has he threatened to force himself on you?” I can hear the anguish in his voice over what he’s asking.
“Just once. When I got out of the pool. He hasn’t touched me like that since. He plans to blackmail me into some sick relationship with him. Just like he did with Mom.” I feel like a little girl standing here confessing my sins. My tears fall faster, wishing my mother were here to guide and comfort me.
The scent of sunshine and leaves surround me as he hugs me to his chest. I’m sobbing like a child, and cling to him for comfort and strength. My heart feels like it’s breaking, and pain squeezes me from the inside. I don’t deserve him. He’s right. I almost destroyed something precious between us, and that’s unforgivable. I know I wouldn’t be able to forgive him if the situation was reversed, which makes me a big, fat hypocrite. I hate myself right now for hurting him, and I cry harder.
Stroking my back, he whispers against my hair, “Shh, it’s okay. It’s all right. I won’t let him hurt you. I’ve got you. I understand everything now. You’ll be fine. I’ll take care of you.” His words are meant to reassure and comfort me.
I shake my head against his chest, and say in a choked voice, “He said he’ll kill anyone who touches me, and now with his new rules, he’ll know if we’re alone together.”
“He won’t. Men like him are all about control. He wants you to fear him. He knows if you don’t, he has no power over you. By keeping you isolated, he doesn’t have to worry about someone else taking you from him. But I’m here now, and nothing he says or does will keep me from you. You belong to me and he knows it.” Confidence and a calm resolve resonate in his voice.
Sniffling, I bring my face out of the cocoon of his chest - a well-defined chest - so I can look him in the eyes. He’s fighting his own tears, but they haven’t fallen. “Did I ruin things between us? Do you still want to be my first?”
He sucks in a breath and brings his forehead to mine and whispers, “I want to be your only, not just your first. Nothing’s ruined it. When we decide to take that step together, it will be perfect. I want to give you the best memories of your first time.”
“Promise?” I ask with hope blooming in my heart.
“Always together, Jo.”
I hiccup with a soft cry and whisper back, “Forever, Cruz.”
Just then, I feel the vibration of his cell phone from his coat pocket. He laughs and disentangles our arms but takes my hand as he reaches into his pocket and checks his phone, laughing harder at whatever he sees on the screen. He quickly texts something, then slides his phone back into his coat. I wipe my eyes with my free hand, and ask, “Care to share?”
“Steph’s asking if we’ve kissed and made up. She also wants me to promise you’re not armed with any weapons and asks if it’s safe to come out.” He smiles down at me and I’m mesmerized by how handsome he truly is. My grandma was right about panties dropping for him when he got older. He sure grew into his looks and filled out in all the right ways. I’ve seen the looks he gets from the girls at school, even knowing he’s with me, they can appreciate his beauty. It wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve got a pool for who gets him if I am stupid enough to screw this up. I almost did, which makes me sad again.
He frowns when my smile slips from my face. “Hey, what’s with the sad face?”
“I can’t believe how stupid I was being about this. I should probably thank her for telling you and stopping me.” Any anger I had about her betraying me is long gone now and I realize how naïve this whole plan was, just like Cruz accused me of.
“Thanking her would be good. Honestly, she saved us both a lot of hurt tonight.” He looks over my shoulder, and I turn to look as well.
Steph isn’t walking with her usual sassy strut, and she’s giving me a look as serious as I’ve ever seen from her. She approaches us cautiously, smiling briefly at Cruz, then focusing back on me. “Hey,” she says.
“Why don’t I get the truck and you can both take a moment and wait here for me? Steph said you came by cab, so I’ll drive you both home. I’m not parked far.” He produces his keys from the other pocket in his coat, gives me an encouraging smile, then heads back in the direction Steph just came from.
I study my friend, and she studies me back. She breaks the silence first. “Are you mad at me?”
The tension leaves my shoul
ders and I tell her truthfully, “No. I told Cruz I should thank you for what you did and for saving me from myself.”
Her lips tip in a smirk and she says, “Yeah, well that’s what friends do, so you don’t have to thank me for loving you regardless of your shitty decision.”
I smile at her in return. She is the best type of friend a girl can have and I’m glad she’s mine. “It was a shitty decision. I see that now.”
“Damn, right it was. You’re the girl who always dreamed of her Romeo or prince to come and sweep her off her feet in an epic and romantic way. You wanted the fairy tale with all the Disney feels, and a first experience that makes the earth move and all that crap. I couldn’t let you throw all your dreams away because of your insecurities - especially now that your prince has come. You guys are so perfect and sweet together, it’s damn sickening. You make me want a Cruz of my own.” I almost laugh at her words, but I notice she’s being serious.
I make a gasping sound and widen my eyes. “Is it the End of Days? Has the Apocalypse started? You, my overly boy-crazy and highly sexual friend, wants a steady guy in her life? And not just so she can tie him to her bed or make him her personal whipping boy?”
“Har, har. I’m not that bad. All I’m saying is that you make it look easy and I gotta admit, the way he came charging to your rescue even had me swooning. I wouldn’t mind a guy who worships me and would do anything to make me happy. I’ve never seen you smile as much as you have since you guys got together. Winter Formal is next month. I know you’ve never gone in the past, but you’ve got a boyfriend now. Think you guys will go? I’d love to see you both named Winter King and Queen just to watch the look on Tisha’s face. I still want payback for ruining my nails in her hair. Who would have guessed she was wearing extensions? I broke two nails when I grabbed her ugly mug and slammed her to the table. I just got them done the day before. The bitch owes me. Winter Formal would be the perfect opportunity to humiliate her. So, you see why I need you to come this year because I’ll need you and Cruz to distract her while I make my move.” She’s rubbing her hands together and has an evil gleam in her eye.
She really is too much some days. Okay, most days, but that’s what makes her so much fun to be around - you never know what will come out of her mouth.
I sling my arm around her shoulder just as Cruz pulls up beside us. “Never a dull moment with you, is there?”
“Just say you’ll be there for my grand scheme, and we’ll call it even for tonight’s brain fart.”
Laughing, I whisper close to her ear, “Someone needs to ask me first.”
The look she gives me says she thinks I’m a few bricks short of a load. “With a guy who has stars in his eyes whenever you’re around? Please! Who are you kidding? He’ll ask. Hell, I bet he makes it all romantic with flowers and shit. Lucky bitch.”
As I watch Cruz get out and hold the doors open for us, giving me a wide and gorgeous smile, I have to agree that I’m one lucky girl.
Steph comes back to my house since our night got cut short. Victor is out of town for the weekend, so the coast is clear. I don’t know how to tell her I really want some time alone with Cruz, but I still owe her for tonight, so I agree.
Cruz parks by the garage and we all exit the vehicle. I can hear music coming from the backyard, accompanied by voices and splashing. Byron must have friends over and they’re all enjoying the heated pool on this cool night. I’m just moving in the direction of the front door, when Steph slips past me and heads around the side of the house that leads to the backyard. I guess we’re going around the back first. I grab Cruz’s hand, liking how natural it feels in mine, and lead him after Steph’s retreating form. There are floodlights around the property to highlight the house at night, making it light up like a castle. Victor Mason loves his money and showing it off. The lights make it easy for us to see our way around to the backyard and the pool area.
For the amount of noise, I was expecting a party, but it seems there are only a handful of people here, unless there’s more in the house. A few coolers lay by the lounge chairs and empty beer bottles rest on a table. I hope he’s being careful about how much his friends drink. The warmer temperature of the pool water will only enhance the effects of alcohol, and we don’t need an accident tonight.
I spot Byron just as he’s walking across the back deck with a few bags of chips and some big plastic bowls. There’s a low whistle from the pool, along with some colorful catcalls, and he swivels his head around to see what’s caused the commotion. When he spots us standing there, the bags and bowls fall from his fingers and he says, “Holy, fucking-shit.”
I grimace, having forgotten about our stupid costumes and how we must look. Steph smiles seductively and throws her shoulders back, making the tight top of her costume stretch even further across her chest, enjoying the attention she’s getting and the reaction from Byron. I watch Bryon almost fall down the stairs as he hastily grabs the dropped chips and bowls and races down them.
His eyes devour Steph in her skimpy costume, then he swings his gaze in my direction and his mouth drops open. “What the fuck, sis? Where the hell did you guys go tonight dressed like that?” He looks to Cruz and asks him, “And you let her out looking like that? How many guys did you have to drag off her?”
“I had nothing to do with this, Mason. They came up with this all on their own. And to answer your question, I got her out before I had to swing any punches.” Cruz gives my hair a playful tug and playfully scowls at me.
Steph jabs her finger at Byron’s chest and says, “Hey, back the hell off. We don’t need permission or protection. Have a bit more faith in Jolene.”
He’s still trying to devour her with his eyes but keeps his tone respectful, which is a complete shock. “Sorry, but you gotta admit that you both look like every comic book nerd’s wet dream.”
Steph flips her hair over her shoulder, drawing Byron’s gaze back down to her chest. “Your attempt at flattery needs some work. You can make it up to me by having a drink waiting for after I’m done removing these clothes from my spectacular body. Feel free to imagine that, and if you’re lucky, I’ll be back in an even skimpier bikini.” Not waiting to see his reaction, she moves past him and heads for the back stairs.
Byron whimpers and watches the sway of her hips as she climbs the stairs and sashays through the back door. He looks back at us and bites his knuckle, still holding the chip bags. “I think I’m in love.”
Cruz laughs and punches him in the arm. “That’s your other head talking right now. Love has nothing to do with it.”
“Okay, I’m in serious lust, then.” He looks at me with pleading eyes. “Sister, my favorite sister, help your brother out here and tell her how awesome I am.”
I can’t help but laugh, which is still a new experience for me in Byron’s presence. “I’m your only sister, and I’m sure she knows exactly what you’re like. Trust me, she wouldn’t be teasing you if she wasn’t interested.”
Sighing dramatically, he puts his hand with the chip bags over his heart. “You’ll both be in the wedding party, of course, because my future wife is about to find out just how determined I am. She won’t be able to resist the Masonator.”
Both Cruz and I burst out laughing. Oh, my god! Did he just call himself that?
He scowls at us and walks over to the pool. Cruz and I are still laughing hysterically, but I say to him, “I’m going to change. There should be some suits in the pool house for you to choose from. I’ll meet you back here.” I’m still trying not to laugh.
His laughter gone, he leans in and gives me a heated look, glancing down at my latex-covered body. “Byron won’t be the only one picturing a costume coming off. I didn’t have time to tell you, but you look incredibly sexy in that. Can you take a picture of yourself in it for me before you take it off?”
I smack his chest and try to sound scandalized. “Cruz Cameron, I didn’t peg you as the type of guy to have a kinky side.” A mischievous smile plays around the ed
ges of my lips. “What do you want the picture for?”
His eyes darken and his cheeks color with desire. “I think you know.”
Holy shit! I feel heat surge over my body like flames licking at my skin. The visual of what he’s implying is hotter than any porn Steph’s made me watch. I lick my suddenly dry lips and channel the baby vixen in me. “I’ll see what I can do and give you some new material for when you’re alone.”
He growls deep in his throat and seizes my lips in the hottest kiss we’ve shared yet. My nipples tighten in response and a throb beats low in my body. I press myself against his chest and feel every hard ridge of his muscles against me. There’s a passion between us now that wasn’t there before. It seems our recent discussion about intimacy has opened a door that was previously closed. I lean into his mouth as his tongue duels with my own.
“Hey Cameron, quit molesting my sister and get a suit on and join us,” Byron yells from the pool.
Cruz slowly pulls away, giving me one last breathless kiss as he does. I feel lightheaded from what he’s done to my body with just the passion in his lips. If he can do this with just his mouth, what will it be like when we do more?
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