Lilly’s family returned to Yonkers the day before school started. That evening, there was a barbeque at Mike McGrath’s house. Tony had forgotten what a boost it was to walk in with the prettiest girl. Lilly had gained more assurance working at Shop All and the Talkhouse. Hillary’s years at boarding school had taught her poise and grace, and Lilly was also learning from her.
Tony sat with Mike and the other senior guys. Twice he saw friends of Mike’s older brother zero in on Lilly. Both times he watched them laugh and talk and was about to get up when he saw Lilly shake her head and point to Tony.
Tony asked Mike, “When is your brother going back to college?”
“Tomorrow. I hope that’s soon enough. His friends really seem to like your girlfriend.”
******************
11. January 1970
Lilly was having a miserable day with menstrual cramps. It was Monday, which meant girls were tripping over each other to tell her tales of Tony’s weekend adventures. Lilly had sat in the bleachers Saturday watching the basketball game. She saw Tony make eye contact, twice, with a girl in the stands. Tony took her straight home and almost shoved her in the door, saying he was tired. Lilly knew he was going to meet the girl. She wasn’t ready to make an issue of it, fearing the end.
Now, Monday, she went into the bathroom near the senior wing and knew her day had taken a turn for the worse. Delores and Mia, two senior girls who had known Tony too well, were there.
Lilly took a look and started to walk out. Delores jumped from her perch on the sink and pulled Lilly back by her arm.
“Look Mia, it’s Tony’s ornament.” She shoved Lilly over to Mia.
Mia pulled her hair. “Can’t keep him down on the farm, huh, Sweetie?” Mia cooed.
Lilly’s fear of a fight was dispelled when an English teacher came in and said, “What’s going on here?”
“Nothing,” Lilly said as she rushed out. She hurried to the end of the building where she ran into Frank.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Lilly said. The bell rang, but neither of them moved. They cut their next class and sat on the cafeteria stairs.
Frank calmed her down and got her laughing by doing Polish magic tricks. When the bell rang, Lilly asked Frank not to say anything.
Frank said, “My lips are sealed, but you should talk to him.”
**********
Lilly wasn’t the only one having man troubles. Hillary was upset by the way things were going with Jay. Hillary arrived minutes after Lilly got home from school. They went up to Lilly’s room, smoked hash out the window, and talked. Lilly’s room had become their strategy center in the battle between the sexes. Their strategies weren’t working.
Hillary hadn’t seen Jay in almost three weeks. Things had been going so well at first that she had hoped she had wormed her way into his heart. He pressured her for sex, implying that he’d never see a virgin for long.
Although Lilly thought it was a bad idea, Hillary had decided to go to a pub, get picked up, and loose her virginity. That night, Hillary had gone to the bar, met a guy, and then, on the way out, she had panicked and run to her car. She had driven to Lilly’s and had sat in the car until she had seen Lilly and Tony drive up. Lilly had tucked her in the foyer and stepped outside. Hillary could hear Lilly’s mother and sister watching TV and talking in the living room. She kept hoping Lilly would finish kissing Tony and come in before she had to explain herself. When Lilly had finally come in, she brought Hillary to the third floor.
The twins had moved down to Brian’s old room so Lilly now had the sprawling third-floor room with its own half bath to herself.
Hillary wasn’t ready to talk yet and asked about the room.
“It used to be Bridget’s and Deidre’s and Ann’s and Colleen’s before the accident.”
“This used to be a dead person’s room?” Hillary asked, startled.
“No. This used to be two dead people’s room.” Lilly decided not to tell her she’d be sleeping on Deidre’s old bed. “OK, Hillary, what happened?”
“I couldn’t. It seemed so cheap, and he was so coarse.”
“Good. Hillary, tomorrow go to Jay’s and seduce him.”
“But he doesn’t want an inexperienced …”
Lilly interrupted, “You will be experienced, tomorrow.”
The new plan worked better. Jay and Hillary began with heavy foreplay the next night, and then went on to intercourse without hesitation.
Hillary didn’t know what the big deal was. It had been a little uncomfortable, but not earth-stopping like in the trashy books.
Jay lived in an apartment with Randy, a guy who played rhythm guitar. They worked in a factory, swing shift. Randy poked his head in to wake Jay for work and then quickly exited.
Jay told Randy on the way to work, “Goddamn! She was a virgin. Now she’ll expect me to marry her or something.”
Randy had nothing but sympathy for Jay.
Jay and Hillary fell into a pattern. She cleaned and cooked for Jay and Randy and spent the night with Jay. She had never done laundry before or washed a floor. Hillary was deeply involved. She wanted a family that would not leave her behind. Jay sensed it and said maybe they should cool it for a while.
Hillary erupted with all of her fear of rejection and hurt. “You don’t love me! You really don’t.”
Jay didn’t have an answer, and Hillary was stunned.
She stammered, “Well … well, one night, you’re going to reach for me, and I’ll be gone. You’ll realize what you lost.”
She ran from the apartment.
That was the last time Hillary had seen Jay. She had gone to Boston to visit an old classmate. Then she went to Saudi Arabia to visit her parents for two weeks. Now she was back, staying at Lilly’s.
Jay, Lilly, Randy, and Sam and José, the drummer and bass player from Randy’s old band, were making Cuando into a real band. They were still learning songs and hadn’t had any real bookings yet. They practiced at Jay and Randy’s because all the tenants were either criminals or hippies or drug-involved and wouldn’t call the police.
One afternoon, Tony and Lilly arrived early for rehearsal. When they walked through the door, they heard Jay on the phone with Mrs. Rutlin, Hillary’s housekeeper. The housekeeper was obviously not giving answers, and Jay was becoming agitated.
Tony and Lilly walked around the block and came back. Lilly knew that Jay wanted to ask her about Hillary at rehearsal, she avoided him.
Hillary’s cousin Gary was opening a health food restaurant in Bronxville near Sarah Lawrence College. Hillary was going to waitress for him until he was able to pay a waitress or he got bored and Daddy bailed him out.
Both Lilly and the housekeeper neglected to tell Hillary about the call from Jay. Both, in their own way, wanted to shield Hillary.
The next afternoon at rehearsal, a girl came in looking for Hillary.
“I went to school with her. Her housekeeper doesn’t know where she is. I got a letter from her about a month ago, saying I could find her here.”
Jay said, “I’m sorry. She’s not here.”
“Do you know where she is?”
“No.”
The girl turned to leave.
“Wait,” Lilly called. “Give me your name and number, and I’ll have her call you tonight around ten.”
Lilly felt Jay, Randy, and Tony stare at her. She hadn’t told Tony that Hillary was with her.
The girl looked at her, Lilly recognized the “you’re-just-a-kid” look. But the girl got a pen and pad from her purse.
“I’m going back to school. Can you tell me where she is now?”
Lilly thought for a second and wrote the name and address of the health food restaurant. “Here, she is working now, but she could probably talk to you.”
Lilly felt the surprise in the room. José, the bass player, had called Hillary “the princess,” insinuating she was above work.
The girl took the paper and said, “She�
��s working as a waitress?”
“Just go there,” Lilly said and turned back to the band.
Jay was looking at her as though he could see right through her. Lilly knew Jay wouldn’t question her in front of everyone, but she also knew he would corner her as soon as possible. Randy and Tony were rhyming lyrics for a song when it was time for Lilly to go home.
Tony looked up, smiled conspiratorially, and said, “We’re writing a song. Ask Jay to take you home.”
“Thanks, Babe,” Lilly said with a glare.
Jay was quiet most of the way across Yonkers. He asked, “Does Hillary like waitressing?”
Lilly answered, “What’s to like?”
Jay touched her arm so she would look at him. “Lil, I want to see her. Where is she?”
“Jay, I don’t know if she wants to see you. She’s trying real hard to get over you.”
He looked angry.
“Jay, if you walk in on her, you’ll know what to say, but she will be taken by surprise. I’ll have her call you tonight. If she won’t, I’ll tell you where she is. OK?”
Lilly waited for Hillary to come back from waitressing, then pulled her upstairs. Hillary wanted to call right then, but Lilly convinced her to sweat it out ’til eleven-thirty. They snuck down to the kitchen.
When Hillary finally made the call, she kept up her act of indifference for about three minutes. Then she told Jay she was at Lilly’s. She told Lilly that Jay was coming.
“Are you crazy? My mother will have a bird!”
“He’s not coming in. I’m going out.”
“He’s not getting his maid back, is he?”
Hillary looked hurt and went upstairs to dress.
She didn’t come back from her meeting with Jay until the next afternoon. She was already in the house when Lilly got home from school. She had brought Mrs. O’Dwyer two matching sets of coasters.
“I really appreciate the way you welcomed me when my parents were away,” she was saying as Lilly entered the room.
“Lilly!” Hillary jumped up, “Jay and I are getting married.”
Lilly knew no one who was married except her friends’ parents. “Married?’
Mrs. O’Dwyer said, “Aren’t you a bit young?”
“I’ve been out of school for a year, and Jay’s been on his own for five years.”
Mrs. O’Dwyer said, “You sound as though you are rehearsing what to tell your parents.”
Lilly felt obliged to take the other side.
“When? Where?” she asked excitedly.
“In East Hampton. Either in the latter part of April or the beginning of May.”
“A spring bride,” Lilly said dreamily.
“So soon?” Mrs. O’Dwyer wondered if they “had to be married.”
Colleen arrived from Holy Sacrament and quickly joined in the excitement. Hillary, Lilly, and Colleen went to buy wedding planning magazines.
Colleen had become closer to Lilly since Ann had gone away to college. Ann and Colleen had fed each other’s collegiate tendencies; Lilly pulled her in another direction. While Colleen was far from Lilly’s hipness, she had loosened up considerably. If Lilly could have confided in anyone in her family, it would have been Colleen. She had kept too many emotions unspoken to share her heartaches with anyone.
Tony was riding high. He was the star of the basketball team, and he expected to get scholarship offers from major schools. He was a wizard with cars, and writing songs for a rock and roll band had elevated his stature among his peers immensely. Lilly thought he had it all mapped out as far as they were concerned. He’d have his Fifi’s during the school year, and then, she’d come out of mothballs and be his contented little armpiece.
Lilly was in the unhappy position of holding on because she couldn’t let go. She dreaded going to school because of the gossip and unkind remarks she faced. Whenever she got to the point of saying goodbye, Tony seemed to sense it and become more considerate and kinder. Then he’d be up to his old tricks again. She had a permanent sore throat from swallowing her pride and holding back tears. Things were coming to a head.
****************************
12. May 1970
Mrs. O’Dwyer was relieved that Lillian had broken it off with Tony, but she didn’t know how to reach her heartbroken daughter. Lilly came home from school, went up to her room, and played piano until one of the guys in the band picked her up for rehearsal. She came home in the evening and went to her room. Sometimes at night, Mrs. O’Dwyer could hear her crying. Once she went up to Lillian’s room, but Lilly wouldn’t speak.
Tony would not discuss it with his brother and their friends. Frank and Mike were supposed to meet Tony at the Bronx River Park one Friday evening. They passed Lilly walking out of the stone staircase leading to the Tuckahoe Road entrance.
“Nice night , huh, Lilly?” Frank remarked on the first warm spring night.
“For what? Homicide?” Lilly hissed, as she brushed past.
Then they saw Tony throwing rocks into the river saying, “Fucking bitch.”
The band now played weekends at area bars. They also were rehearsing continually for a Battle of the Bands, which was to be held at a park in Yonkers. It was co-sponsored by a New York FM station and a string of record stores. There were similar Battles of the Bands in New Jersey, Long Island, and each of the boroughs.
The prize money was five hundred dollars, with which the band hoped to buy equipment. It was on a Thursday night. Saturday was to be Jay and Hillary’s wedding. Mrs. O’Dwyer thought Lilly was going to East Hampton on Thursday after school. Lilly was to be a bridesmaid, and Mrs. O’Dwyer was allowing her to skip school to go out with Hillary and help prepare for the wedding.
Tony went to the Battle of the Bands because Cuando was doing two songs for which he had contributed lyrics. Tony and Mike were lost in the crowd. The bands were all good. Most had an original song or two, but Cuando was the only one that did all original music, and Cuando won.
Tony approached Randy in the parking lot to tell him how good they sounded. Lilly was standing by the back of the stage, watching. She heard two cops at the front of the stage talking.
One pointed to Randy, and said, “That’s MacEachron. We can watch from here.”
Lilly realized Randy was about to get busted. She walked around the stage then ran to Randy.
She threw herself into Randy’s arms and whispered, “Where’s your stash? The cops are going to bust you. I heard them.”
Randy pulled away thinking she was kidding.
“Where is it?” Lilly held tight. She lifted a baggie from his tee shirt and stashed it in her bra, then quickly walked away.
“Lilly?” He started after her but only got a few feet when a cop caught his arm.
“Randy MacEachron. You’ll come with us.”
Randy pulled back. “What for?”
“You’re under arrest for possession.”
Randy was put out. “I don’t have anything, man. Don’t hassle me.”
Another cop threw Randy against the car and searched him. Tony watched Lilly make her way through the parking lot, and he could see the fear on her face. She got into Hillary’s car.
Back in Tony’s car, Mike kept repeating, “Wow, did you see that?”
Tony decided to talk to Lilly at school the next day.
Lilly and Hillary drove to East Hampton. It wasn’t until they were halfway there that Lilly pulled out the baggie.
Hillary said, “That’s blotter acid. Jay told me Randy’s dealing too much.”
“Really? LSD?” Lilly was fascinated. “Let’s split one.”
Lilly and Hillary each took half. Lilly held it under her tongue like Hillary told her and thought it tasted like tin.
They cleaned the whole house to Mrs. Carruthers’ opera records and Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring. The wedding was to be held on the slate patio in the garden. They were doing Janis Joplin impressions and scrubbing the patio with brushes when they crashed. It was there Mr. and M
rs. Carruthers found them.
Hillary had very carefully fed them information about Jay and the wedding. First she mentioned, at the end of a letter, that she was very much in love with a young man she had met in East Hampton. She told them she was going to marry him in the next letter, but did not say when. She made sure she was not home for their calls after that. Next she told them he was from the south.
Finally she sent them the invitation with detailed wedding plans inside. She planned a simple ceremony, followed by champagne, hors d’oeuvres, tea sandwiches, and cake. She asked them for a list of whom to invite but warned “we want to keep this a very small wedding.”
That was in April after Hillary knew her father had broken his arm, and she doubted her mother would leave him. Hillary had planned the whole affair with pleasing and appeasing her parents in mind. Now the Carruthers came upon their daughter and her friend asleep on the patio amidst buckets and scrub brushes.
“Hillary, wake up. Hillary?” Her mother leaned over.
Hillary opened her eyes. “Hi, Mom, Dad. What time is it?’
“One o’clock,” Mr. Carruthers answered gently.
“In the afternoon? Friday? This is Lilly. We cleaned the house and were cleaning this. We must have fallen asleep. We worked all night. The nursery people should be here. They are going to put potted flowers all around. Where are they?”
“Hillary, we brought Mrs. Rutlin out with us and have hired a few temps to clean. Please get up. We need to speak with you about your young man.” Mr. Carruthers took her arm, helping her up.
“Sure Dad. I love to talk about Jay. Just a second. Mom, would you call Wainscott Nursery? Oh and Parties Plus? They’re the caterers in Southampton. Oh and Karen McCarthy? She is going to play piano with the string quartet after the ceremony. The quartet will play the wedding march. Is Lisa here yet? I haven’t seen her dress yet. I sent her pictures of my gown and Lilly’s dress. I know she has such good taste. Oh, this is Lilly, by the way. Let me wake her. She can sleep in the house. Let me wake her. Lilly? Lilbit.” Hillary rubbed her shoulder.
A Yonkers Kinda Girl Page 7