Tony threw his belongings into a knapsack. He looked up and asked, “Those are the facts. Now, why don’t you like him?”
“Lord, you can see right through me. How do you do that?” She picked up her satchel, and opened the sunroom door. “You could have a clairvoyance act.”
Tony followed her to the hall and down the stairs. She kept talking, “The Amazing Anthony. Catchy, Huh? I could go into the audience and pick up objects … ”
Tony realized as he drove beyond the East Hampton town limits, she hadn’t answered his questions.
Uncle Sean was furious when she returned home. “Where were you?”
“Aunt Vera knew. I stayed at my friend’s house.”
“What’s her name?”
“Hillary.”
“I knew that much. Hillary what?”
“Sullivan,” Lilly answered, knowing he’d never find her looking for Sullivan.
“That’s it for the rest of the time we’re here. You come home right after work.”
Lilly edged back. “I’m in a band on Friday, Saturday, and Sundays.” She lied about Sundays.
“I’ll pick you up after you play and drive you to work the mornings after you play.”
This being Monday, she figured she had a lot of time until Friday. Things came apart on Wednesday.
Vera was sober when Lilly arrived home. “I’m going to cook a good meal for us. I wouldn’t want your mother to think we didn’t take care of you.”
“That’s nice, Aunt Vera. I’ll set the table.”
Sean didn’t come home for dinner.
“I think your uncle was surfcasting.”
“Yes,” Lilly agreed.
Aunt Vera’s hands were shaking and her eyes were darting around the room. Lilly excused herself after dinner, escaping to the quiet of her room. She went through her drawers and for no particular reason put her pills in her pocket.
She heard the front door slam and then Uncle Sean walked into her room. She could see by his exaggerated gait that he was bombed.
The humor of his being drunk on the only day his wife was sober struck her.
“What are you smiling at Miss Superior?”
“Nothing, Uncle Sean.” Lilly wished Aunt Vera would come in the room, but then her desire to hide behind his emaciated, alcoholic wife seemed ludicrous. She giggled nervously.
He became furious. He reached back and punched her. “Don’t you laugh at me. Oh, I’m sorry, pretty Lilly.”
He reached for her. She tried to escape his grasp on wobbly feet, but wasn’t fast enough. He kissed her, and he clutched her, putting his hand on her breast. She yelled as loud as she could.
Vera walked in. “Sean, let her go.”
He released Lilly, turning to Vera. Lilly didn’t stick around for the second act. She ran out of the house to the neighbors. “Can I use you phone? Ours is broken,” she lied.
She called Hillary’s house. Sam answered.
“Come pick me up right away, Sam.”
Lilly didn’t want to leave her neighbor’s house, so she made small talk about the dust collectors on a shelf near the phone. Lilly knew her neighbors were looking at her funny, but she didn’t know how bad her mouth looked.
“When is your mother coming back?”
“Soon, soon … not soon enough.” Lilly looked at her hand and saw it was shaking.
“Are you all right?”
“Sure. I’m fine, I’m fine.” Lilly saw Sam’s Chevy van in front of her house and said, “Bye now. Thanks.” She ran to the van.
“Lilly, I thought that was your house. Your mouth’s bleeding! What the hell happened?” Sam waited.
“Drive, Sam. Please! I’ve got to get away from here.”
Sam drove. He waited and then asked again, “What happened?”
She started to cry. “That slob, that slob … he … he …”
Sam let her cry as he drove to the ocean beach in Amagansett and then stopped.
“Lilly, who hit you?”
Lilly got control of herself and – except for frequent shuddering – spoke clearly. “My uncle. He grabbed me and punched me. He kissed me on the mouth and put his hands on me. He would have … you know, only my aunt wasn’t drunk for once. Oh God, I can’t go back there.”
Sam said, “Wait here,” and got out of the van.
Lilly called out the window, “Where are you going?”
Sam called, “Cool it!” He went to the concession stand that was closing. He came back with ice cubes. “Put this on your face.”
They drove to Hillary’s. No one was there.
Lilly told Sam, “I want to take a bath and wash his germs off.”
She went upstairs and suddenly felt fearful. She wedged her clothes under the bathroom door.
When Jay and Hillary arrived home, Sam led them to the terrace and told them. Jay was incensed, while Hillary was calm. Lilly joined them, and they went into the kitchen. Hillary got more ice for Lilly’s lip.
Hillary said, “You thought he was a lecherous beast. You can use my clothing, but Lilly, we’re on different birth control pills.” Lilly pulled her pills from her pocket. Hillary nodded, “You have your priorities straight. Lilly, you are a little shaken up . My father’s cousin tried something when I was twelve. My mother caught him, and I have never seen him again.” Jay stood up.
Hillary continued, “Now, don’t look so shocked. Chalk it up to experience. The next time you think someone’s a little off, you’ll trust your instincts more and be safer. You bruise easily. I guess that’s because you sunburn easily. Lilly, good riddance to bad relatives.”
Jay was quietly impressed with Hillary’s cool response to a crisis. He went over to the sink where she was standing and hugged her.
Sam said, “Are you going to call Tony?”
Lilly shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Sam pressed, “Aren’t you going to tell him? He’ll be pissed off if he finds out from anyone else. And he’ll see your face. You can’t hide that with make-up.”
Lilly could see the agreement on everyone else’s face. “Tony’s a little territorial … I’ll tell him … in person this weekend. I’ll spoon feed it to him though.”
Sam nodded, “You’re right. He’s likely to rip your horny uncle’s horns off.”
Lilly thought she had until after work Saturday to think of a way to explain her situation, but Tony came out Friday night. They were playing a bar in Westhampton Beach. Lilly didn’t see him in the crowd. They played the last song of a set, and she went to the bar to get a soda. Tony came up behind her and hugged her. Lilly jumped and spilled the soda.
“Lillibelle, it’s only me.”
“Tony!” She hugged him. “I thought you weren’t coming ’til tomorrow.”
Tony took her hand and walked quickly through the crowd to the door. “Lil, all that worrying about my Pops was stupid. He told me he expected it. He helped me move. When I offered him back the key, he said, ‘Keep it. You’re my son. Your home is always with us.’”
Tony stopped talking and looked at her. “Lilly, what happened to your mouth?”
Lilly bounced nervously as she said, “Well, it’s kind of funny, really. Remember how I said I didn’t like my Uncle Sean? Well, I left out he’s a pig.”
“He hit you? Why?”
“He was drunk. He made a pass at me.” Lilly held her breath.
“You got away?”
“Yes, I ran to my neighbors. I’m staying at Hillary’s.”
“At least you got away. I thought there was something, the way you disliked him so intensely.”
He examined her mouth. “He punched you. That’s not a slap.”
She nodded, then confessed, “I was dreading telling you.”
“What did you think? I’d run around screaming and threatening in Italian?”
Lilly nodded sheepishly. “Something like that.”
“Your face hurt?”
“Not really. I haven’t tested it.
”
Lilly reached to him. He kissed her gently, then a little harder.
She smiled at him. “I have to get back inside. It’s time.”
Sam was waiting for her at the edge of the stage. “How’d he take it?”
She smiled. “We underestimated him. He’s not nuts.”
Sam said, “He’s nuts.”
They started the last set. Tony made his way through the crowd with a soda for Lilly and put it beside her on the floor.
Tony had only met two of his roommates, Eddie and Linus. They were at school early to try out for basketball. They were both black and were Army buddies. Lilly asked if all his roommates were black.
“Don’t know. The rest will show up later next week. But I’ll notice right off.”
“You’re in a strange mood.”
She saw how relieved he was now that the move was made.
The weekend passed too quickly. They went deep-sea fishing on a sunset sailing on Sunday. Both were freezing and a little nauseous, caught white fish, and had a blast.
Monday morning, the O’Dwyers left Yonkers early. Still on European time, they were on the road at six. Mrs. O’Dwyer was worried both about Lillian and about her house. She hoped the three-week separation had cooled the romance between Lillian and Tony. She wished she had seen Vera before leaving. Sean had arrived alone, saying Vera was visiting a friend in Southampton. The whole situation made her uneasy. Upon arriving, the uneasiness bloomed to panic when they walked into a dirty, bottle-filled house.
“Ann, get Lillian,” Bridget said as she surveyed the damage.
Ann came back, “She’s not there, Mom. I’ll look around.”
“Wait by the door,” Bridget said.
She went to the master bedroom and called, “Sean! Sean! Where’s Lillian?”
Vera came out. “Bridget, how was Europe? There’s a cleaning lady coming at nine. We didn’t expect you until late this afternoon.”
“One cleaning lady? My home needs an army of cleaning ladies. Where’s my daughter?”
“I don’t know. I can explain … ”
“Where is Lillian?” Bridget barked.
“She left Tuesday or Wednesday. I think she went to her friend Hillary’s, but I’m not sure.”
“Get out to the car girls.”
“I’ll be back at eleven,” she said to Vera. “Be gone!”
Bridget drove in a rage to the Carruthers.
“Mom, we’ll get her.” Ann and Colleen jumped out.
Hillary woke first and opened the door. “Oh, God!”
Colleen said, “My mother’s in the car, and she’s on a rampage.”
Hillary led them upstairs, “Did she see Tony’s car?”
“Tony’s car?” Ann said and looked at Colleen. “No, we are parked out front.”
Hillary raced to the sunroom. “Lilly, wake up! Wake up! Your mother’s here.”
Tony and Lilly sat up. Tony recovered fast and reached for her clothes and handed them to her.
Lilly said, “My mother! My clothes!”
Tony said, trying to lighten her panic, “Where’s the fire escape?”
“Oh God, Tony. Don’t make me laugh now.” Lilly struggled with her shirt.
“Colleen, tell your mother you woke her and she’ll be right there,” Tony directed.
Lilly slipped out of bed, leaving him covered. He said, “Lilly, calm down, Go brush your teeth and come back here a second.”
Ann and Hillary left. Lilly came back quickly, all dressed.
Tony was in jeans. “Lilly, call me at work when the storm’s over. It’s going to be fine. Act injured.”
He kissed her, and she turned to go. “Lil?” He shot her the birth control pill package. “Take your pills.”
She walked to the car, brushing her hair and got in the back seat with Ann and Colleen.
“Hi, Mom. How was your trip? Did you send a postcard? I haven’t been home. Have you been there?”
Kelly said, “It’s a mess.”
Lilly nodded her head. “Lots of bottles? Typical.”
Mrs. O’Dwyer demanded, “Lillian why did you leave? What happened? We are going out to breakfast to talk.”
“Uncle Sean got drunk and made a pass at me.”
Mrs. O’Dwyer shrieked, “That pervert!”
She remembered her younger children, and said, “We’ll speak later.”
Ann asked, “Uncle Sean drinks?”
Lilly corrected, “Aunt Vera drinks. I only saw Uncle Sean drunk once.”
“Aunt Vera drinks!” The idea of a woman drinking was more shocking to Colleen.
“Like a fish. I only saw her sober once.”
“The house is a pig sty.” Ann said.
“They had parties every weekend while I played in the band. I cleaned the house on Mondays.”
Mrs. O’Dwyer berated herself, “I should never have left you. You could have gotten killed in a fire or something worse. This is awful.”
“A fire?” Francine asked.
“Drinkers always have fires,” Bridget informed them.
“Hillary said I learned to trust my instincts. I thought he was creepy. She said next time, I’ll be wiser and safer. Enough about them! How was Ireland? Do we have a million new cousins?”
They went to a diner and ate and talked for two hours. The cleaning lady was still there when the O’Dwyers arrived home. Lilly recognized her from Hillary’s and looked down.
The cleaning lady said, “Lilly? Your aunt left this for you. She said you were the pretty blonde. Don’t I know you?”
“You shop at Shop All? I work there.”
“That must be it.” She handed Lilly the envelope.
Mrs. O’Dwyer was anxious to have her home back. “You may leave now. You’ve made a lot of headway.”
“I was paid for four hours. I haven’t touched the master bedroom or the bathrooms, except to strip the beds. There’s a load of linen in the washer and another on the line and a load of towels in the dryer. But if you insist.”
She left.
Lilly carried the envelope to the bedroom. Inside was a letter dated Thursday. She unfolded it. A small dark blue gem on a gold chain fell out. Her mother came in with sheets. Lilly refolded the note and returned it to the envelope. She knew her mother was intensely curious about the letter.
Mrs. O’Dwyer speculated, “I suppose she apologized.”
“I don’t know Mom, I’ll read it later.” She went out to help her sisters.
The European travelers all napped in the afternoon. Lilly took her letter to the beach to be mulled over in privacy. It read:
Thursday A. M.
Dear Lilly,
I don’t expect you’ll be back while we are still here. First I apologize for the events of last night. I hope you can understand that really had nothing to do with you. Sean and I are separating. I have been punishing myself and Sean for something that happened a long time ago.
You are not blameless for these events either. You used us. Your mother told us your boyfriend was not to visit. We visited some friends in Southampton and stopped to hear you perform. You were finished. We saw you with your boyfriend and didn’t need a roadmap to see you were headed for the nearest bed. When I was sixteen, nice girls didn’t sleep with their boyfriends. Perhaps your air of disapproval fed a bad situation. You hippies are always pointing the finger and saying phony.
But I am becoming sidetracked. I’ve enclosed a necklace my mother gave to me when I reached my sixteenth birthday. The stone, a sapphire, is about the color of your eyes. I thought it matched your delicate beauty. I planned to give it to my own daughter when she attained her sixteenth year, but I will never have a daughter.
Perhaps this is fitting that it ends here. My marriage, that is. When Sean and I were engaged I became pregnant. I wanted to move up the wedding. He thought if he didn’t complete school, he never would. He pressured me, then arranged, with his brother, an abortion. I was terrified of some dirty back room. It was perf
ormed, instead, in a clean-looking doctor’s office. I acquired an infection anyway. When I was twenty, I had a hysterectomy. Guilt can only hold two people together for so long. I’m sure I won’t see you again, so I wish thee farewell.
Vera O’Dwyer
Lilly reread it. She walked home pondering how pathetic Vera was, and she didn’t understand Sean at all. The implications of her father’s involvement were more than she could grasp.
At dinner, Bridget asked if she had read the letter.
“Yes.” The subject was dropped.
Lilly and Colleen started doing the dishes while Ann swept the floor. Bridget took the towel from Colleen and the broom from Ann saying, “I think we’ve swept this house enough today.”
Bridget waited for her eldest daughters to leave, and then asked, “How did Sean grab you?”
“Well, Wednesday when I got home from work, Aunt Vera was cooking. Uncle Sean wasn’t there for dinner, but he came home later. I was in my room, and he walked in. He did that often, walked into the bedroom. Anyway he kind of leered at me. I was scared and smiled a little. He thought I was sneering and hit me. Then he grabbed me, and kissed me on the mouth, and put his hand on my breast. I ran over to the Rosenberg’s to call Hillary.”
“The Rosenberg’s? Did you tell them anything?”
“No. I said our phone was broken, but they must have known something was wrong ’cause my mouth was bleeding.”
“He kissed you that hard?” Mrs. O’Dwyer was appalled.
“No, he hit me that hard. Vera apologized. She said she and Uncle Sean are separating. She’s had a hard life.”
“Phooey! That girl was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. She only had to crook her little finger,” Mrs. O’Dwyer countered.
“She could never have babies,” Lilly said sadly.
“What sort of mother would she have been, drinking like that and married to a child diddler.”
“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’
“How can you defend him?” Mrs. O’Dwyer asked angrily
“I’m not defending him. I pity her. Mom, I have to call Tony now. He’s on his dinner hour so we can talk,” Lilly said.
“Why doesn’t he call you?’
“He wouldn’t be sure if I was home yet. I wasn’t coming back ’til you were here. Can I invite him out this weekend?”
A Yonkers Kinda Girl Page 14