What was I supposed to say? Was I also a suspect in this foul play? Would I be getting into trouble? Maybe I should have just run when I had the chance. Not sure what else to do I reverted back to the technique I had been using most of the night and started crying.
"It's possible." I sobbed. "He wasn't a nice man, that's why I never stayed with them. He could be violent."
"Violent to whom, Jessica? You, Miss De Giorgio or Jason?"
"All of us!" I said holding my hands up over my face.
"Can you tell us his name and whereabouts?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I only know his first name was Quinton, apart from that I don't know anything about him." A tinge of guilt ran through me. I had already played a part in Q's death and now I was selling him out to the police.
"We'll need you to come down to the station to make a statement. Okay?"
"Yes." I said, although I had no intention of ever going down to the station. "Could I wait until my brother is out please?" I asked, the tears still dropping slowly from my eyes.
"Sure. We'll be around for a while." he said before walking away.
I sat back down and wiped the tears, which were no longer fake, from my face. Grief mixed bitterly with guilt was beginning to bear down on me and becoming overwhelming to the point that holding the tears back felt like more of an act than actually allowing them to run. What should I do now? I thought. I couldn't really go to the police station. Having a fake story was one thing, but someone would definitely pick up on the fake names and addresses. Maybe I should just go home. But I didn't want to, I wanted to know if Jason would get better and what they would do with him if he did, I couldn't let him be taken off to an orphanage.
I had heard the nurses talking and knew Jason was being kept on the third floor, all I needed was something to make me look a little less conspicuous. I made my way down the hallway, stopping into one of the rooms which I had seen the nurses going in and out of. It appeared to be a changing room of some sort so it was easy to find a gown I could pull on which I hoped would give me some discretion.
The third was a lot busier than the lower floors, but easy enough to move around unnoticed
Is this the right floor? I wondered after noticing most of the patient rooms were occupied by elderly patients. I closed the door behind me just as the door across the hall opened, a group of men, including Dr Theobald and the 2 officers emerging from the room. I stopped in my place as my eyes made contact with Officer Riley and ran over a story I could tell to explain why I was here.
"Ah Jessica." A voice said. "So nice to finally meet you." It was familiar but not easily recognisable. The soft, low tone, welcoming almost trusting if I didn't know better. My eyes ran quickly over the faces of the men, one doctor stepping forward as I searched their features. I recognised his small, crocked physique, before I recognised his face.
It was Dr Z.
CHAPTER 20
Dr Z stood out from the group of young doctors who surrounded him. He was a lot older than the other doctors, his back bent over slightly giving him the appearance of someone with a hump. His hair was thick and grey and the skin on his face almost as grey as his hair, making him look even older than he possibly was.
I didn't normally see much of him when I was at the facility, as far as I knew he was stationed at 'Wickham's' with Regina, only coming to 'Wendell's' to oversee the general runnings. But there he was that night in the midst of the doctors who were working on Jason's recovery, and he no doubt knew who he was. His smile was thick, possessing every characteristic of a genuinely warm smile.
"My name is Dr Wickham," he said. "I'm overseeing your brother's care."
Wickham, is that his real name? Did his family own the research facility that Jason was at?
"How is he?" I asked, playing along with Z's charade.
"We're doing everything we can.” he said, still smiling. If I didn't know him I would have been easy to mistake his smile for concern, but in reality it was a sickly sinister smile. “I was hoping to speak with you shortly."
About what? Does he know about Q? Is he going to tell the police? I thought. But to Z I just said, "Okay."
He gestured towards the room he had just come from, and then followed in behind me and closed the door.
I almost expected him to launch an attack on me, but instead he gestured towards a sofa with a small table in front of it and poured me a glass of water.
"I hear you've had a busy night." he said his hands cupped in front of him. I didn't answer. "My people discovered Q's body in number 24's room, and .. Well, we have R downstairs in the mortuary."
"I didn't hurt her. Q shot her."
"I'm sure he did." he said. His voice was soft and melodious, almost as if he were singing when he spoke. "The problem is Claudia, that's just the word of a crazy little orphan girl. A girl who has already been cautioned for arson attacks against her foster mother, one of which almost killed her."
He was speaking about Mrs Maple, "I didn't make any arson attacks."
"Claudia dear, Mrs Maple wrote a very heart-breaking letter of surrender when she asked us to take over your guardianship. It seemed that she was quite scared by your random outbursts."
"I didn't have any outbursts, there was just the one fire." I protested.
"You're not getting it." He said, shaking his head slightly as his smile faded to a blank straight line. "The truth is whatever I say it is, and nobody would ever believe you if you said otherwise."
I stared at Z, defeated. I didn't know exactly what he wanted, all I knew was that he had already won.
"The original plan, last year, was to continue training you until your body gave up.” he continued calmly, leaning back in the armchair. “We didn't want you leaving the facility and causing problems for us. But you did leave, and it seems that you were happy to stay off the radar, until R came for you anyway."
I nodded, it wasn't exactly true. I was trying to look for them, but I may never have come if it wasn't for R's visit.
"So here's my plan." he continued "I am happy to let you go back to your life, doing whatever it is that you were doing, as long as I never see or hear from you again. The moment you become a threat of any kind, you will be arrested and prosecuted for the murders of Q and R, as well as anything else I decide to pin on you. Do you think you can do that Claudia? Do you think you can disappear?"
I nodded again, his request was easy enough, except "What about Jason?" I asked.
"Number 24 is of no concern to you. But since we are being frank with each other I may as well tell you. He is being administered a drug right as we speak. His death will be announced shortly."
"No." I said. I stood up, my hands balled into fists, allowing the heat to surface, "You can't do that."
"Of course I can. And you won't do anything about it. Do you know why?"
"Why's that?" I said, my voice almost a hiss.
"Hmm," he laughed, "Because Charles, Veronica and all of your friends in Westpoint will also meet a very unfortunate accident."
"No." I said quietly, the sparks triggering rapidly throughout my entire body, small flames flickering from my fists.
"Yes." he said, not at all perturbed by my temperament. "But I do give you my word that I will leave you, your family and your friends alone if you forget about us. I don't really need the added aggravation."
"But Jason?" I said. I couldn't just walk away and allow him to kill Jason.
"Is of no concern to you." he repeated firmly.
"He's just a baby. I can't let you do this."
"Claudia." he said, his voice sterner now. "I don't negotiate! I'm offering you and your family a guarantee of safety. I don't have to, I covered over larger problems than you, but I warn you don't try my patience."
Knowing that I was responsible for Q's death, isn't he at least a little worried, I thought as the flames engulfed my fists. But then the sounds from outside the door, reminded me of the other doctors and officers waiting in the hallway. Z
at least knew there wasn't anything I could do to him right now and get away with it.
"Please, just let me take the baby." I begged, allowing myself to cool down and let the flames die. Z groaned, raised his hand to look at his watch and then, as if I hadn't even spoken pushed his head back into the seat rest, closed his eyes and began tapping some kind of rhythm against the arm of the chair.
What is he doing? I thought, looking around nervously. What is he waiting for? Maybe this is my cue to run. But I couldn't.
At least a minute or two must have passed with Z just sitting there silently and me trying desperately to think of some kind of bargaining chip for him, until there was a knock at the door.
"Ah" he said sitting back upright in his chair "Come in."
The door opened and a young nurse walked in looking back and forth from me to Z. "You told me to inform you of any changes in the boy’s condition."
Z nodded, she looked back over to me again cautiously.
"This is the boy’s sister. It's okay." He said.
"Oh I'm really sorry, it isn't good news." she said her eyes suddenly large with concern.
"Please tell us." Z said.
"Jason went into cardiac arrest, the doctors did the best they could to revive him, but he was pronounced dead a few minutes ago."
"No." The word came out as a whisper.
My chest shuddered with silent sobs as I focused all of my energy into maintaining my composure and train of thought. Z watched me, his eyes cold, holding no trace of emotion for any of the lives that were lost that night. The nurse stepped forward and put her hand on my shoulder, "I'm so sorry for your losses tonight." I shook my head in denial, no longer able to believe what should have been a sincere sentiment. There I had been trying to negotiate Jason's safety and he had already been taken care of by one of Z's men who, for all I knew could have been the same nurse who stood before me.
She looked back at Z who just nodded at her and, understanding what he meant, she took her hand down and left the room, closing it behind her.
"I assume your decision has been made a lot easier?"
My body was shaking, still trying to withhold the sobs, my lips quivering with fear and pain and tears, which refused to remain silent, streamed down my face. I sat back down on the sofa dropping my head into my hands. “He was just a baby, it's not fair.”
“Life's not fair.” Z said softly tapping my head. “Just be thankful you have been given another chance.” his voice and the touch of his hand was gentle. A stark contradiction to the fact that he was the same person who had just had Jason killed and threatened to destroy my family. I raised my head, he was standing above me, his pale blue eyes staring down at me. “You should go now.” he said. “You don't need to worry about the police. Nobody will look for you after tonight.”
I wasn't sure what I had expected the night would have gone like when I originally left Westpoint the day before. But 3 deaths, 1 I was directly responsible for, was definitely not it. I got up from the sofa, inhaling deeply and wiped my eyes. My time there was over. I was drained, emotionally more than anything else and there was no point nor benefit in prolonging my stay. I looked back into Z's eye hoping I held the same cold focus as he did. He didn't deserve a thanks, so without saying another word I walked out of the room and made my way out of the hospital.
* * *
It was a cool night, the wind blew steadily causing a pile of small sweet wrappers to dance in circular motions around the bench I was sitting on. I pulled my feet onto the bench, wrapping my arms around my knees, resting my chin on them and then looked back over to The Lilac lounge, wondering if Marcus would be inside.
It had been three weeks since I left Westpoint with R. Three weeks since I witnessed her death and the death of her son, and three weeks since I had caused the death of Dr Q. It was something I had planned many times over the last year, but now that it was done. The heaviness of Charles' words when he warned me that such an action could destroy me, weighed down on me.
I hadn't been back home since the incident. As much as I'd wanted to and as much as I needed the comfort of my family at that time, I couldn't bear to see Charles' disappointment when I told him what had happened and I knew that if it equalled my own disappointment it would be a sight worthy of breaking my heart. I had called to let them know I was okay and Charles had begged me to go home, but the closest I could ever get to home was Knightsbridge. So that night I found myself sitting on a bench across the road from Marcus' club.
There was a soft murmur of excitement coming from the people waiting outside the club. Their murmurs almost a whisper asking me to join them, just for one night to be free from the memory of the night at the facility. I had never been into a night club before, but I knew it would be easy to become lost in the music, darkness and possibly array of intoxicants. It was probably a perfect place to start if I wanted a quick way to numb my pain. Their doormen wouldn't be difficult to get past. I had already work out a routine to fool them. All I needed to do was build up the courage which, day by day was growing. I was already losing myself anyway, it wouldn't have been hard to take the complete plunge.
“Claudia?” A voice called from a short distance away. It was Emily, half running half walking towards me with Martin close behind her. “Claudia?” she said again when she finally was standing in front of me, “Are you OK? What's happened?” she asked.
I shook my head and put it back down onto my knees. I really didn't feel like talking to anyone and wouldn't have been able to bring the words up even if I wanted to.
“Claudia? What's wrong? Tell me.” Emily said, brushing her hand softly against my cheek hoping to turn my gaze towards hers, which would have been, no doubt, a pair of big, brown consoling eyes something I couldn't take at that moment. I shook my head and avoided any eye contact with her, looking over at Martin instead who was now gesturing to someone down the street. I should have known that if Emily was there then Solomon wouldn’t be far behind.
“Claudia?” Solomon said sitting down on the bench next to me. “Are you OK?”
I clenched down on my teeth, resisting the urge to turn to Solomon and wrap my arms around him. I had missed him so much. Tears burned at the corners of my eyes as I used all of my energy not to look at him. Michael was stood in front of me, his posture rigid and his hands balled into fists. His face was taut, his eyebrows forged into a deep arch. I sighed heavily. His anger wasn't directed at me but I would have preferred it to the pity that was beneath it.
I kicked my feet down from the bench, straightening myself up, and turned to face Solomon without looking directly at him.
“Sorry," I said forcing the best smile I could. "I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” My voice came out hoarse due to the fact that I hadn’t spoken much in the last 3 weeks.
Solomon stared at me for a short time before responding. I kept my gaze on his hoody. It was unzipped although the weather was still fairly cold, but then he didn't seem to respond to the cold the way the others did. It was also the same hoody he had worn the night we went to the cinema. I almost smiled at the first warm feeling that had entered me for a while. He leaned forward, his head tilted, I knew his eyes were searching for mine. “Are you waiting for someone?” he asked. I shook my head and looked back across the street at the queue of club goers. “How are you getting home?”
“I’m not going home.”
“Is everything OK?” he asked, cupping his hand under my chin and forcing my gaze towards his. My chest swelled as another burst of heat rushed through me. Solomon's eyes were deep, a hue I hadn't seen in his eyes before that night. Almost like a midnight sky that I could become lost in. "Claudia?" He asked, his searching deeply for an answer. I squeezed my eyes closed not wanting his eyes to uncover any secrets, the tears falling as my eyelids pressed down against each other.
“Please leave me alone.” I whispered, pushing his hand away. I pulled me feet back up onto the bench and pushed my face down into my knees. I regret
ted my words as soon as I had said them, wishing I could simply open up and talk to one of them, to Solomon in particular. Wishing I could finally put the burden I had been carrying for those last weeks to rest, but I knew I could never look in his eyes if he disapproved of my past on the chance I see dislike or even hatred. I could never live with knowing I had lost that special look that was only for me.
“We're not going to leave you here, Claudia. Talk to us, please." Emily dropped down to my level and placed one hand on my knee. "We’re your friends.”
"I really don't want to talk." I said as I looked back at Solomon, running my sleeve quickly across my cheek to remove any fallen tears. "I'm sorry."
One corner of his lip turned upward into a soft smile. "Don't worry about it." He said.
Thanks, my heart thumped gratefully. I didn't want to talk, but I didn't want him to leave either. I would have been happy to sit silently next to him all night as he watched me. As much as I was scared of what his searching eyes would find, I rarely felt safer than when he sat watching me as he sometimes did.
The shuffling of Martin's feet reminded me that perhaps not everyone was happy to simply watch me. “What are you all doing here anyway?” I asked, taking deep deliberate breathes hoping to compose myself a bit more.
“We were just at the cinema, and now we're going for something to eat. Susanne, Stacy and a few other people are waiting for us, why don’t you come?” Emily answered.
“I don’t really feel like it thanks.”
“It's not far, and there are some rooms at the back, where we can sit privately if you don't want to be in a crowd.” Solomon said.
I am very hungry but I'm already feeling crowded, I thought as I watched them, watching me. “Why don't you guys walk ahead and let the others know I won't be sitting with them?” Solomon said, as if sensing my hesitance.
“Why?” Emily said angrily, “Why do only you get to sit with her? You're not the only one who cares about her you know?”
“What is your problem man?” Michael suddenly interjected, “Why are you always such a drama queen? Just let her go to the back with Solomon, get something to eat and relax a little. You can see her tomorrow or something.” Emily glared at him for few seconds and then rolled her eyes.
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